或者她就是忘记说了，经常会有这种事的
or maybe she just failed to mention it, that happens all the time,
或者你就是这阵子自己刚好得了口腔疱疹
or maybe you had a cold sore at one point and gave this to yourself.
太好了！现在我还得疱疹了
Great! I have herpes!
你听我说啊，这又不是世界末日，只是个皮肤病而已
Listen this is not the end of the world, it’s just a skin virus,
欸你这人是咋了，搞得跟要死了一样，担心的话就花大钱验血去嘛
what is with you people, you act like your life is over, If you want, you can spend a bunch of money on a blood test to confirm.
还验啊，这还不够明显的吗
Confirm!, This isn’t conclusive.
你听我说，我说的是，只是在显微镜下看起来像疱疹而已，什么都有可能
Listen, to me, I said, under the microscope it looks herpetic. That could mean anything.
行，那可能性最大的是？
Okay, what does it likely mean.
你得了疱疹
You have herpes.
【我没病】
[ I’m clean ]
【你跟人有过没带保护措施的性行为吗】
[ Have you ever had unprotected sex ]
【有过，但我做过检测了】
[ yes but I’ve been tested ]
【我觉得我们应该走柏拉图那套】
[ I think we should be Platonic ]
【我也觉得】
[ accepted ]
【克拉姆利·阿林：你在哪呢，可以见面吗】
[ From Crumley Arin where are you. can we meet.
【信息删除】
[ message deleted ]
嗨
Hey boss
（我们出去玩的好开心，但我现在没什么兴趣了）
(We hang out, had an awesome time seemed to loose interest
苏珊你觉得怎么样
what do you think, Susan?
毕业之后我们讨论说要不要一起搬到肯塔基去
After school we talked about moving to Kentucky together
然后…
and…
在那一起生活嘛…可能掏钱买♥♥个农场…哎呀我也不知道
having a life there… maybe buying a farm or… I don’t know!
结果她跑欧洲去了
Then she went to Europe, she said.
（我是对她做过挺多差劲的事）
(I did a lot of bad things, though)
我闯进她家…嗯…把家具砸的稀巴烂
I broke her door down… and… furniture in her apartment
有次我演出的时候在台上把吉他砸了
There was this one time I bashed my Gibson on the fucking stage.
哎我再也不会伤害你了宝贝
I’m never gonna hurt you again.
到处都是碎片…
pieces everywhere…
后来买♥♥了把一模一样的新吉他
I got a new guitar. Same as this one.
我只是想好好爱你，你知道嘛？！
I just wanted to love you. you know?!
我现在待的地方特好！
I’m in such a better place now!
噢噢噢啊啊啊
OOOooaaaghh!
–我也过的更好了！
— and I’m getting better!
我揍了你胳膊一拳，你个该死的婊♥子♥，你个烂人!
I hit you in the arm, you fucking bitch, you fuck!
我们永远应该把我们的怒火转化成希望
We must take our angry feelings and we must turn them into light.
该死的婊♥子♥！
Fucking cunt!
因为如果我们能做到这样
because if we can do that
其他的一切–一切早晚都能变好
everything else — everything else just kind of falls into place one day at a time.
非常的简单，很简单的
Simple. Easy does it.
咱俩当时都是第一次谈恋爱，一起把什么都干了，多刺♥激♥啊
I was her first, she was my first. We were everything. You get that intense.
没什么可后悔的，我的意思是，哎呀那就像我们俩人的情书一样
There’s no going back. I mean, that–that was our love letter.
欸你说有什么能比一张限制我接近她的限制令更浪漫的
How much more romantic can you get than a restraining order?
限制令欸！就写在最上边，好大的字
Restraining order! Top of the page, big print.
你没在放学后到英语老师的桌上做过你都不配跟我提做♥爱♥
Means you really don’t talk to me about having sex any more until you’ve had your sex on your English teacher’s desk after school.
哎呀，人们都会讨论的！
You know, people talk!
在体育馆中心做♥爱♥
Sex in the middle of the gym.
大家闲言碎语可多了
People say things.
什么在你最好的朋友家后边做啦这种事
Sex behind your best friend’s house.
那些疯婆子们越吹越离谱啊
And those crazy sons-of-bitches, they say crazy things.
躲都躲不了，无处可去了
You travel somewhere too fast, and don’t have anywhere else to go
我揍她之前她爸妈就不喜欢我
Her parents didn’t like me even before I hit her.
但我俩的相处方式就是这样的
But that’s the way that we loved each other.
他们就是看不惯我
They just had a problem with me.
可这是爱呀！
That’s love!
是喏…我打了她
And yes … I beat her up.
掐她屁♥股♥…眼睛都打青了
Split her hip … gave her a black eye.
划了她爸妈的车，划了她的车
Vandalized her parents’ cars, vandalized her car.
得赔个三千块吧
Caused like three thousand dollars worth of damage.
你爱她吗？
Did you love her?
限制我啊？你还想限制我啊！是我控制你呢，紧张不
Restrain me? You’re going to try to restrain me? I’ll restrain you. I’ll strain you.
是的噢，你觉得你可以这么强烈的去爱一个人嘛？限制你欸，这可太狠了
Yeah. You see you can love someone like that? ReSTRAIN you! It’s too strong.
很强烈的
It was intense.
约束你！强迫你，限制令，对，这就是我爱一个人的方式
Restrain you! Order you. Restraining order. That’s right! That’s me.
一号♥，这是你的工作室，
Here’s your studio! Number One.
这里是诊所，是的我们能做验血
(voice on phone) Clinic — yes, we do blood testing.
苏珊!你可以…额…过来了
(door opens) Susan! You can — ah — come on back.
看这带子
(reads) Play this tape.
感谢你去做了检查
Thanks for … getting a test.
嗯你去了佛蒙特
So you’re in Vermont.
那边怎么样呀
How’s that going?
嗯…我终于开始做了点什么但挺差劲的
So … I finally started something but I think it kind of sucks.
在更好的想法出现之前我不会让自己停手的
I’m keeping busy until some better ideas hit.
他们这主要是想提高你的自我意识和拓宽你的感官维度
They’re really big here on like focusing here on raising your awareness and your consciousness and
你懂的，就是想让我跟无穷的可能性打交道
you know, putting me in touch with my infinite possibilities.
我得学会如何从我的内核生发去表达创造
I’m going to learn to express from my core.
我打算在这把我妈去年圣诞送我的那本《艺术家之路》给做了
While I’m here, I’m going to do the book, The Artist’s Way, that my mom bought for me last Christmas.
我今早为了清理思绪已经做了三页了
I’ve already started writing three pages in the morning to empty the contents of my mind
喷漆罐里的油漆会跟水彩融在一起
Paint from–paint from the spray cans is going to drip into the water colors.
用铅笔在顶层描一遍，漂白并再次喷漆。
Pencil drawings will be layered on top, which will be whited out and spray-painted over once again.
等它干了我会用马克笔再画上一层
And then I’ll draw, in marker, on top of it once it’s dried.
最后一步是拿火把边缘燎一圈，这样画看起来更加破烂了，我就完成了我的大作
When I burn the edges, it’s going to make it say that my art is full of decay and that I’m finished.
我们从来不会毫无理由的产生恐惧，我们需要感到害怕的合理原因
We don’t just have fears for no reason at all. You have them because you should legitimately be afraid.
人们自然而然的会恐高，因为掉下来会摔死
People are naturally afraid of heights because you really can fall and die.
我不是想说你什么不好的，只是…唉我也不知道，
你别见怪啊，就是我突然有个很奇怪的想法
I’m not trying to accuse you, I just — I don’t know. This is crazy, but I have this weird idea
就有些人，应该不是你，就是有些人他们有一些…
that there’s people out there and it can’t possibly be you, but that there are people that have something —
他们都带着一种莫名其妙的怨恨，故意对世界也对他人，
and there’s some sort of weird spite to the world — purposely give that to others.
我不是在指责你是这样的人什么的，但我只是想尝试证明你不是这样的…
I’m not saying that that is you, I’m just looking for information to show that it’s not —
我需要你诚实的告诉你最近是不是出现了一些症状
I was wondering if you could tell me honestly if you’ve had any symptoms recently or ever.
因为我发现真的很难相信你之前说自己一切正常，什么奇怪的事都没有
Because I really find it hard to believe that you have never had anything weird — whatsoever strange — happen down there, at all!
你就是在指责我，不过我也不在乎喽
I don’t feel accused except for the fact that I’m obviously being accused.
但我真的没有察觉到任何异样，过几周就能拿到检测结果给你看了
And no, I don’t have any symptoms and I’ll get my test results back in a couple weeks.
我觉得，很明显咱俩不应该再做♥爱♥了
I think — it’s probably pretty obvious to say this, but I don’t think we should have had sex.
我当时就觉得，对，我们不应该上♥床♥
At the time, of course. Right. I was thinking — we shouldn’t have sex.
对！我的意思是，当时你直接坐上来的时候真吓死我了
Right! I mean — that’s why I was so surprised when you hopped on top of me.
你在那张纸上问我要不要做♥爱♥
You asked me to have sex. In that note.
你是在开玩笑吗当时
Is this a joke?
这纸条现在就在这，我问你，带套口♥交♥嘛？
I have the note right here. Oral comma condom question mark.
我在问你是否想带着套口♥交♥
I was asking if you wanted to have oral sex with a condom.
我以为你是让我选呢
I thought you were giving me options.
我的意思是，我从来没带着套跟人口♥交♥过
I mean, I’ve never heard of oral sex with a condom.
我以为你在问我是要口♥交♥还是带着套做♥爱♥
I thought you meant oral sex or sex with a condom.
所以我选了咱俩都能爽的那种
I opted for something I thought we would both enjoy.
我从来没跟同一个人发生超过一次性关系因为事情总会变得很糟糕
I’ve never had sex with somebody more than once because it just goes so bad,
我觉得她们都…额准备好进入下一段关系了
I think they they are just, um, ready to move on —
但和你在一起这次简直让我大吃一惊，这真的是一次值得记一辈子的神奇经历
That’s what blew me away about being with you is that for once, it was an experience.
这对我来说绝对是一个巨大突破
It was an event that was like a major breakthrough, for me.
我之前不敢告诉你我一直在经历什么…
I didn’t want to not tell you what I was going through —
就哎呀，我不想在经历了这种无与伦比的事情之后，结果跟你产生隔阂了
you know, I didn’t want to just — be experiencing that and just create a blockade
所以我觉得，哪怕跟你把这不愉快的事掏出来说了，也远远比咱俩再也不说话了要好
rather than confronting you and — it was better than just never speaking to you again, in my mind.
《阿林的个人秘密大披露》
Full Disclosure Presentation for Arin
哦天，我真得好好回忆一下我都跟谁有过性关系，唔，至少有…
God! I really have to think about it. Okay, there’s not someone since
杰森，罗伯，文森特，马克，杰，克里斯，史蒂夫——啊！还有克劳迪奥…
Jason, Rob, Vincent, Mark, Jay, Chris, Steve — agh! Let’s see. Claudio.
我上班那地儿的勤杂工，噢至少那次带了保护措施，还有一堆我机都记不起来的家伙
The bus boy at work, but at least that was protected. There’s a whole slew of people I just can’t totally remember.
绘画班的同学…朋友的朋友…然后我就去做了检测，结果正常的来着
The kid in my painting class — the there was a friend of a friend– then I got tested around that time, and everything was fine.
但说真的，如果有人跟我说他被我传染了啥，那估计八♥九♥不离十
But still. If someone says they got something from me, then maybe they did.
但现在，如果跟人做♥爱♥主动提出带套的话反倒是件荒谬的事了
Now, it just seems like such a ridiculous thing that I didn’t insist every time I had sex with somebody
所以说实话我每次都不敢开口问，所以我就不提了
that we were going to use condoms. But I honestly just didn’t feel comfortable asking. So I just didn’t ask.
马上我就能拿到检测结果了，到时候咱就知道怎么回事了 – 苏珊
I’m getting my test results back soon. Will let you know what’s up. — Susan
我要说件吓死你的事，不是这个，这个确实很怪，但说真的为什么我一直能闻到你的味道？
I’ll make you think this is weird. Not this. This is definitely weird. But why do I still smell you?
我知道咱俩之间隔着三个州什么的
Even though you’re like in — three states away, or whatever.
现在连我的狐臭都闻起来像你
It’s almost like my B.O. smells like you. Now.
自从咱俩见面之后我就注意到这事了
I noticed that ever since we were together.
科学能解释嘛，比如，是不是有什么隐藏的原因
Would that be, like, a scientific — I mean, can there be a reason behind that?
还是，这根本就是我想象出来的，或者，你真的把你的味道留给了我
Or — is it just my imagination? Or — did your smell somehow actually get left behind?
对我来说好怪的
It seems pretty strange to me.
我给你发了几个视频剪辑软件，你可以看看
I made a copy of some video editing software that you can check out.
我还写了一些新手入门指南，你应该可以很快的上手
And I’ve also written out some instructions that should help you get up to speed.
我来这是想弄明白我到底是不是一个艺术家
I came here to find out if I was an artist.
我没有发自内心的去创造
I didn’t create from my core.
我没有坚持那些对我最重要的东西