What’s with you two?
私人玩笑 – 啊哈
Private joke. – Uh-huh.
私人的 不是秘密的 这是有区别的
Private, not secret. There’s a difference.
有吗
ls there?
可爱的老爷爷例行公事 我只是不相信
Sweet old grandpa routine? l just don’t believe it.
是的 好吧 孩子们知道
Yeah, well, the kids do.
他们通常能很好地嗅出狗屎
And they usually sniff out bullshit pretty well.
哦 嘿 你妈妈打电♥话♥来了 她迟到了
Oh, hey, your mom called. She’s running late.
爸爸 杰克已经在等了 走了
Dad, Jack’s already waiting. Go.
他们要去哪里
Where are they going?
哦 我们的稻米梦用完了
Oh, we ran out of Rice Dream.
嘿 小子 你饿了吗
Hey, kiddo. You hungry?
不 我已经吃了很多了 我喜欢鹰嘴豆泥
No, l had lots already. l love hummus.
我们是在中东日那天在学校学的
We made it in school on Middle Eastern day.
阿♥拉♥伯人和以色列人都吃它
Both Arabs and lsraelis eat it.
是的 这是全世界的希望 鹰嘴豆泥
Yes, it’s the hope of the world, hummus.
宝贝 你能把这个拿到娱乐室给孩子们吗
Honey, can you take this up to the rec room to the kids?
把它和饼干一起放在桌子上
Put it on the table with the cookies.
非乳品在一头奶牛上划了一条线 明白吗
The non-dairy has a cow with the line through it, okay?
我必须这么做吗 我不认识任何人
Do l have to? l don’t know anyone.
你认识乔希和艾玛 好吧 看
Well, you know Josh and Emma. Okay, look.
如果你觉得没意思 十分钟后 你就可以下来了
lf you have no fun, in ten minutes, you can come back down.
是11点28分 上面有一个数字钟 好吗
That’s 1 1 :28. There’s a digital clock up there, okay?
我喜欢模拟的
l prefer analog.
好的 现在你要等到11点29分 快走
Okay, now you have to wait till 1 1 :29. Scoot.
你看起来不错 更好了
You look good, better.
比什么更好了
Better than what?
我们给艾玛带来了这个
We brought this for Emma.
我不敢相信她已经五岁了
l can’t believe she’s five already.
天哪 明年就要上绿点学校了
Oh, my God. Developmental K next year, Greenpoint.
他们有一个很棒的双语项目
They’ve got this incredible bilingual program.
我真不敢相信你要把威廉转学 太好了
l can’t believe you’re taking William out of his school.lt’s so great.
是的 但这是公立的 也是杰克想要的
Yeah, but it’s public, and it’s what Jack wants.
所以现在我得讨好她 我敢打赌她会选择
So now l got to please her. l bet she’ll choose
任何私立学校都是最贵的
whatever private school is most expensive.
好吧 我希望你选择得明智
Well, l hope you choose wisely.
别误会我 我是说 威廉是个可爱的孩子
Don’t get me wrong. l mean, William is a sweet kid,
但他也可以来点粗暴和混战 你懂我的意思吗 – 我不知道
but he could use a little rough-and-tumble. You know what l mean? – l don’t know.
它在东区 但它是公立学校
lt’s the East Side, but it is public.
我是说 他班上有黑人和亚裔孩子
l mean, there’s black and Asian kids in his class.
多样性是其中之一
Diversity is one of their things.
体验不同肤色的富人
Experiencing rich people of all colors
不是多样性
is not diversity.
我们不富裕 皮娅 我们舒服
We’re not rich, Pia. We’re comfortable.
亲爱的 你的门卫很舒服
Honey, your doorman is comfortable.
嗯 – 妈妈 快点来 是威廉
Hmm. – Mommy! Come quick. lt’s William.
什么 怎么了 他还好吗
What? What’s the matter? ls he okay?
威廉 – 他动不了
William? – He won’t move.
威廉 你出了什么意外吗
William, did you have an accident?
恶心 – 我认为这是腹泻
Gross. – l think it’s diarrhea.
哦 不 – 走开 我不想要你 我要我爸爸 他在这儿吗
Oh, no. – Just go away. l don’t want you. l want my dad. ls he here?
他去了商店
He went to the store.
然后诺诺
Then Nono.
不 他们去买♥♥稻米梦了
No, they went to get Rice Dream.
哦 不好了 威廉 我想这
Oh, no. William, l think this…
拜托 我不想要你 别管我
Please, l don’t want you. Leave me alone.
亲爱的 你为什么不给我一个机会 好吗
Honey, why don’t you give me a shot, okay?
你想下楼吗 我带你去楼下
You want to go downstairs? l’ll take you downstairs.
我要让他去洗澡 好吗
l’m gonna pop him in the bath, okay?
来 我来帮你
Here, let me help you.
好的 把蛋糕准备好
Great, get the cake ready.
蜡烛在炉子旁边的抽屉里
The candles are in the drawer by the stove.
别担心 干得好 伙计
Don’t worry. Good job, pal.
他在楼上看电影
He’s upstairs watching a movie.
很好 只是很尴尬
Fine, just embarrassed.
有些孩子取笑他 这没有帮助
Some of the kids made fun of him, which didn’t help.
他腹泻是我的错
lt’s my fault that he had diarrhea.
他是乳糖不耐的 我给他吃了冰淇淋
He’s lactose-intolerant, and l gave him ice cream.
什么 为什么
What? Why?
因为我不相信他有乳糖不耐症
Because l didn’t really believe that he was lactose-intolerant.
我以为卡罗琳只是控制欲太强
l thought Carolyn was just being controlling.
我知道 我是个糟糕的人 – 你不是个坏人
l know. l’m a terrible person. – You’re not a terrible person.
你只是不习惯孩子 这需要时间
You’re just not used to kids. lt takes time.
不 你知道需要什么吗 一个孩子
No, you know what it takes? A kid.
呃 我不是这个意思
Em, l didn’t mean…
这样可以吗 我要上车了
ls that okay? l’m gonna go to the car.
我告诉她 妈妈说粉末对我不起作用
l told her Mom said that powder doesn’t work for me.
没关系 威尔 你再也不会吃冰淇淋了
lt doesn’t matter, Will. You just won’t be having ice cream again.
所以没关系
So it doesn’t matter.
嘿 嘿 改天吧
Hey, hey. l’ll take a rain check.
我有点累了
l’m kind of beat.
好吧
Okay.
对不起 我迟到了
Sorry l’m late.
哇 你看起来不错
Wow, you look nice.
那是新的吗 – 不 谢谢你 亲爱的 我刚做完头发
ls that new? – No. Thank you, honey. l just had my hair done.
慢慢来 亲爱的
Take your time, sweetie.
很抱歉 我昨天没去皮娅家找你
l’m sorry l missed you yesterday at Pia’s.
我听说过威尔 可怜的孩子
l heard about Will. Poor baby.
他今天好多了
He’s better today,
但我正等着卡洛琳歇斯底里地打来电♥话♥ 等他一告诉她
but l’m expecting a hysterical phone call from Carolyn as soon as he tells her.
她会喜欢的 艾米莉娅又搞砸了
She’s gonna love this. Emilia screws up again.
你不知道 皮娅感觉糟透了
Well, you couldn’t know. Pia feels terrible.
六个孩子 不包括威尔 包括就是七个
Six kids, not including Will. That’s seven.
我不奇怪他们生病了 我只是惊讶七个孩子吃了鹰嘴豆泥
l’m not surprised they got sick. l’m just surprised seven kids tried hummus.
我是说 她把他们吓到了
l mean, she scares them into it.
那是什么
That’s what it was?
她说她告诉过你 嗯 老实说 你得检查一下你的果汁机
She said she told you. Em, you’ve got to check your machine, honestly.
我们得告诉他
We have to tell him.
不然你以为是什么
Well, what did you think it was?
你好 我要找威廉·伍尔夫
Hi, l need to speak to William Woolf, please.
抱歉 你怎么
l’m sorry, how did you…
我是艾米丽亚·格林利夫 我是他的继母
l’m Emilia Greenleaf. l’m his stepmother.
我有重要的事
lt’s important.
我知道你是谁 格林利夫小姐
l know who you are, Miss Greenleaf,
但除非是医疗紧急情况 否则我们不允许进入看望
but unless it’s a medical emergency, we don’t allow visits.
这会这让人分心 我可以在课间给他捎个口信
lt’s distracting. l can give him a message at recess.
好吧 告诉他昨天还有六个孩子生病了
Okay, tell him six other kids got sick yesterday,
不是冰淇淋的问题 是鹰嘴豆泥
so it wasn’t the ice cream. lt was the hummus.
行 不是冰淇淋 是鹰嘴豆泥
The hummus. All right. Not the ice cream.
这很重要
lt’s important.
祝你今天愉快
Have a nice day.
还好吧 – 我想是的
lt went okay? – Yeah, l think.
我们是否能接到她的电♥话♥就知道了
We’ll know if we get one of her calls.
别忘了提醒我今天给你父亲拿点东西
Don’t let me forget to pick up something for your father today.
一个月后是他的生日
His birthday is in a month.
妈妈 你应该忘了他的生日 已经七年了
Mom, you should forget his birthday. lt’s been seven years.
给他买♥♥张卡也不会要了我的命
lt doesn’t kill me to buy him a card.
卡片上的内容包括吗
Hallmark has that covered?
生日快乐 谢谢你欺骗我
”Happy birthday. Thanks for cheating on me.”
艾米莉娅
Emilia.
我很担心你 西蒙也是
l’m worried about you. Simon is too.
我很好
l’m fine.
听着 我知道你在经历什么
Look, l know what you’re going through.
我的流产就像一个孩子死了
My miscarriage was just like a child dying.
真的吗 那么堕胎不也是一样的吗
Really? Then isn’t abortion the same thing too?
我是说 我认为胎儿和婴儿是有区别的
l mean, l think there’s a difference between a fetus and a baby.
对不起
l’m sorry.
我真的很抱歉 明迪
l’m really sorry, Mindy.
我只是 我很好 真的 时间会痊愈 我只需要让这些日子过去一段时间
l just…l’m all right, really. Time heals, and l just need the days to pass for a while.
不 不 你需要在自己的悲伤中扮演一个积极的角色
No, no, you need to take an active role in your own grief.
这就是救我的原因

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