可是公♥司♥被骗走了 我又需要钱
But with my business stolen, I have to make ends meet.
你会小心使用吗?
You will be careful?
我不跟章碧喝得醉熏熏的才不会碰它呢
I shan’t touch them till I’ve had Jambi lock the absinthe and ether away
喔! 这是干吗的? 这东西随时随地能致人于死地
Oh! What does this one do? That one kills everything everywhere.
我太高兴了 这个呢?
How delightful. And this one?
先生 球轰轰是不卖♥♥的
Sir, the spheroboom is not for sale.
它是我的挚爱
It’s my sentimental favorite.
不用解释 这种不寻常的感情我也体会过
No need to explain. I, too, have known unconventional love.
也许你跟我 还有章碧什么时候可以聚聚
Perhaps you and I and Jambi could get together
交流一下意见 呃?
and compare notes sometime, eh?
瑞典 2308年
为表彰他促成了东西岸说唱艺人的和平共处…
Resulting in peace between East and West Coast rappers…
我的天!
Good God!
我接受诺♥贝♥尔♥和♥平♥奖♥ 不只是为了我自己
I accept this Nobel Peace Prize not just for myself,
也是为了千千万万犯罪的机器人 干杯!
but for crime robots everywhere. Skoal!
坐不住了 嗯 瑞典?
Not so neutral now, are you, Sweden?
跟我说实话 我的眼睛是不是很吓人?
Be honest with me. Does my eye look monstery?
和拉尔斯约会我不想看上去像个怪物
I don’t want to look monstery for my date with Lars.
就算怪物也有个身体
At least a monster has a body.
只要狼人或是大白猫乐意借我一半身体 我愿做牛做马
What I wouldn’t give for Wolf Man’s torso, or any of the Groovie Goolies.
我应该穿那套为复活节准备的性感礼服
I think I’ll wear that slutty dress I’ve been saving for Easter.
真想给拉尔斯这张丑脸狠狠来一拳
I’d like to punch Lars right in his ruggedly good-Iooking face.
和所有的富人一样 我们需要武器来杀那些穷♥人♥
Like all rich people, we’re gonna need weapons to shoot poor people.
为了自卫? 是的 那也算
In self-defense? Yes, that, too.
班德 去把铐在教授手上的末日装置偷来
Bender, go steal the doomsday device chained to the professor’s wrist.
休想!
Never!
开玩笑呢 你们要我♥干♥吗我就干吗
I’m kidding. You guys know I have to do whatever you say.
拿着 把那个真的调包 百试不爽的调包计
Here, swap this for the real one. The old switcheroo.
是的 但别把他吵醒
Yes, but don’t wake him.
你最好来偷珠宝的那套蹑手蹑脚才行
You’ll need jeweler’s tools and foot-cup silencers.
嗨 我可没告诉你该怎么让我去做事
Hey. I don’t tell you how to tell me what to do,
请别使唤我该怎么做你要求我做的事
so don’t tell me how to do what you tell me to do.
班德明白什么时候该用些手段
Bender knows when to use finesse.
偷来了 放到保险箱???
Here you go. Put it in the safe, clanky.
真是倒霉透顶了
It’s the damnedest thing.
我正在垃圾车里享受一块发臭的巧克力奶油冰棒
There I was in the dumpster, enjoying a moldy Fudgsicle,
你的手突然飞过来 砸到了我头上
when suddenly your hand flies over and slaps me in the toches.
是啊 够巧的
Yes, well, these things happen.
幸运的是 球轰轰还在
Fortunately, the spheroboom is still safe.
被骗了? 我? 甜心?
Scammed? Me? Sweetheart?
手艺不错 佐德伯格
You do a nice hand job, Zoidberg.
告诉我 要是我能找到完好无损的身体 你能帮我接起来吗?
Tell me, if I could find an undamaged body, could you recapitate me?
赫米斯 我是个外科医生
Hermes, I’m a surgeon.
给我两块躯体
When I see two body parts,
我就缝起来 看看会怎么样
I sew them together and see what happens.
我只是想求你回到我还有身体的时候
All I’m asking is for you to go back in time
把我的身体带到这里来
to when I still had my body and bring it back for me.
那个头怎么办? 我才不管
What do I do with your old head? I don’t care in the slightest.
没问题!
Can do!
快点 伙计! 赫米斯 拜托了!
Come on, man! Hermes, please!
这样的精密手术催不得
You can’t hurry a delicate operation like this.
这是什么?
What are those?
你这个庸医!
You incompetent crab!
还以为你会喜欢 你的尾巴在摇
I thought you were happy. Your tail was wagging.
我相信这个自相矛盾的方程是无解的
I believe this paradoxicality equation to be unsolvable.
因此 时间旅行不可能
Ergo, time travel is impossible.
但我无法证明 泡泡糖脑袋
But I can’t quite prove it, Bubblegum.
也许你跟你的微积分学家世界观光旅行团能…
Perhaps you and your razzle-dazzle Globetrotter calculus could…
对我来说简单得很 榆木疙瘩
Looks pretty damn solvable to me, Farnsy.
克莱德 用参数变更来扩展这个伏朗斯基行列式
Sweet Clyde, use variation of parameters and expand the Wronskian.
太棒了 伙计
Shizz, baby.
这样的话不矛盾的时间旅行就有可能了
So paradox-free time travel is possible after all.
对极了 看看这个被乘数
Right on. But dig this multiplicand here.
“灭亡区域”? 肯定是这个数校正了悖论
The “doom field”? That must be what corrects the paradoxes.
可这是个指数
But that mama rises exponentially.
它会割裂因果关系的结构
It could rupture the very fabric of causality.
我一直想告诉你这个
That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.
赫米斯! 你又有身体了!
Hermes! You got your body back.
是啊 但不是原来那个
Yes, but not the original.
班德回到过去找了个副本
Bender went back in time and picked up a copy.
副本? 真让人害怕!
A copy? Funky cold medina!
根据这个方程 时间旅行复♥制♥了事物
According to this equation, a time-travel duplicate
在这个因果关系中产生了一个复杂的分母
results in a complex denominator in the causality ratio.
哦 猜猜看! 这意味着什么! 我猜猜看
Oh, snap! You know what that means. I can guess.
事实上 我猜不到
Actually, I can’t guess.
教授 你这儿有放射测量仪吗?
Prof, you got a doom meter in this lab?
上帝啊 泡泡糖
Good Lord, Bubblegum.
复♥制♥体的放射强度比基准水平高10倍
The duplicate body is emitting doom at 10 times the background level.
我料到了 复♥制♥体的放射性非常强
I thought as much. A duplicate body is always doomed.
自我灭亡是迟早的事
It’s just a matter of time.
我不在乎 只要还来得及把勒芭芭拉劝回来
I don’t care. I just need it long enough to bird-dog in and win LaBarbara back.
要抓紧时间了 老兄 我惜时如金
Best bird-dog fast, my brother. That’s the way I bird-dog best.
喝 快啊! 我快拿不稳了
Drink, quick! I can’t balance it much longer.
等等 我…
Wait, I…
成了!
Yes!
太好玩了 拉尔斯
Oh, this is so much fun, Lars.
很多男人都担心
Most men are intimidated by the fact
我会把他们捏死
that I could kill them with a flick of my wrist.
不会是我 要是你杀了我 就没人给你买♥♥单了
Well, not me, ’cause if you do, you’ll be stuck with the check.
两位 想让约会进入高♥潮♥吗?
Folks, you care for a little fresh ground Executive?

Please.
没什么大不了 这家伙有心形的鼻孔
Don’t get excited, kids. This thing’s got heart-shaped nostrils.
想看他放个星星吗?
Want to see it make a star?
不! 不!
No! No!
您要的古腾堡圣经 还有肯德基的秘方
Here’s your Gutenberg Bible, masters. Plus, the Colonel’s secret recipe.
鸡肉 黄油 盐
都成功了 我们得到了历史上所有有价值的东西
Well, that does it. We’ve got every valuable object in history.
现在我有钱了 却有点担心宇宙会不会毁灭
Now that I’m rich, I suddenly care if the universe gets destroyed.
我们不能再用这套危险的时间代码了
We can’t use that dangerous time code again.
把它从机器人的记忆里删掉
Blank it from the robot’s memory.
我来解决这个家伙 以防他的屁♥股♥落入歹人手中
I’ll vaporize this guy so his ass doesn’t fall into the wrong hands.
干吗不直接擦掉纹身?
Why don’t you just remove my tattoo?
好主意 不过你可能已经记住了
Nice try, but you might have memorized it.
不 我没有
No, I mightn’t.
我连我妈妈的姓都记不住
I can’t even remember my mother’s maiden name.
她姓盖勒斯纳
It’s Gleissner.
愚蠢的外星人 愚蠢的拉尔斯
Stupid naked aliens. Stupid Lars.
我讨厌未来
I hate the future.
那个立方根起到了关键作用 克莱德
Man, that cube root was a real buzzer-beater, Clyde.
0 1 1 1 0 0 1 1!
Zero, one, one, one, zero, zero, one, one!
干掉他!
Blast him!
哈哈 打偏了 哦 伟大的主人
You missed. Oh, great master.
2000年 1月1日 中午12点30分
你好 2000年
Hello, 2000.
我回来了
I’m home.
新年快乐 裸男!
Happy New Year, naked weirdo!
新年快乐
Happy New Year.
这下不知道屁♥股♥男溜哪儿去了
Well, we’ll never know where the ass guy went,
既然杀不了他 就当做好事放他一马算了
and since we can’t kill him, I say live and let live.
很简单 头
That’s sweet, boss.
弗莱肯定溜回2000年去了
Fry’ll be nice and cozy back in the year 2000.
什么? 你怎么知道他会回2000年?
What? How do you know he went to the year 2000?
他总是那样
That’s where he always goes.
为保险起见 你回早一点等他到来
Better play it safe. Go there a little earlier and wait for him.
你知道该怎么做
You know what to do.
你想让我♥干♥掉他就像吃光喝光一样?
You want me to concludify him like some sort of dispatcherator?
没错 务必要终结他的性命 明白
Yes, and don’t forget to terminate him. Got it.
准备终结菲利普·弗莱
Preparing to terminate Philip Fry.
带个太阳镜有什么用?
What’s with the doofy sunglasses?
以前阳光很刺眼
It’s really bright in the past.
0 0 1 1 0…
Zero, zero, one, one, zero…
2000年 1月1日 中午12点28分

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