阿呆与阿瓜2

She’s giving a speech tonight.
如果你有看到她
When you see her,
跟她说罗伊和她爸爸在找她
tell her that Lloyd and her dad are looking for her.
叫她打这支电♥话♥给我
And get her to call me on this.
找到你了
There you are!
海破浪号♥
我到处在找你
I’ve been looking all over for you.
好酷
Cool!
刚才遇到一个墨西哥人认识佩妮
I just ran into a Mexican guy who knows Penny.
他说她正要过来
He said she’s on her way!
走吧 我们去排队
Come on, let’s get in line.
就穿这样
Dressed like this?
哈利 来这里的人都很聪明
Harry, people who come to these things are smart.
我们不能穿得像笨蛋一样就进去
We can’t go in there looking like a couple of goofballs.
好 我们去买♥♥聪明一点的衣服
Oh, yeah. Let’s go buy some smart stuff.
希尔顿花♥园♥酒店
你今天好吗
How’s your day?
幸福人生
Living the dream.
这个起司通心面看起来好好吃
Ooh, that mac and cheese looks good!
我想我需要筷子
Um, I think I’m gonna need some chopsticks
或是很细很细的叉子
or a really, really skinny fork.
没问题
You got it.
门没关
It’s open!
佩妮
Hey, Penny!
汤姆 葛斯
Hey, Tom! Hey, Gus!
佩妮
Hey, uh, Penny. Um…
你在客房♥服务生面前
What are you doing in your undies
怎么只穿着内衣裤
in front of the room service guy here, eh?
你又不认识他
You don’t know him.
不是啦 有人告诉我一个
Oh, no. Someone told me this great trick about how not to get nervous
演说时不会紧张的好方法
when you’re giving a speech.
只要想像你是穿着内衣裤就好了
All you do is imagine that you’re in your underwear.
所以我整个下午都在练习
So I’ve been practicing all afternoon.
小姐 还有别的事吗
Will there be anything else, ma’am?
没有了 只要很细的叉子
Oh, no. Just that skinny fork.
好的
Right.
好了 别浪费时间
Okay. Burning daylight.
有好消息 你♥爸♥来参加会议了
Yeah. Oh! Great news. Your dad showed up for the conference.
-什么 -戈迪打电♥话♥给我们
-What? -Yeah, Gordy just called us.
他遇到一个叫罗伊的陪你♥爸♥来
He ran into some guy named Lloyd who was with your father.
他们正在会议中心门口找你
They were looking for them out front of the convention hall.
KEN知识工程博览会
我的老天
Oh, my goodness.
你确定吗
Are you absolutely certain?
你该不会搞错了吧
And there’s no way you’re mistaken?
好 那我马上派人
All right, um, yes, then I’ll have someone
去门口接他
meet him at the door in a hurry.
好的 再见
Yes, okay. Goodbye.
怎么了
What is it?
品契洛博士来了
Dr. Pinchelow is coming.
什么 你确定 他不是生病了
What? Are you certain? I thought he was sick!
看来他是好多了
Apparently he’s better.
我刚才和他女儿佩妮通过电♥话♥
I just spoke with his daughter, Penny, on the phone
她要过来这里接他
and she’s headed right over here to meet him.
他连诺贝尔颁奖典礼都没出席
Oh, the man didn’t even show up for his Nobel ceremony.
但他来我们的场了 快去找他
He showed up for us. Go find him.
好 我马上去
Uh, yeah, yeah, I’m on it.
罗伊 你看
Lloyd, look!
贵宾名单 佩妮·品契洛
佩妮快要上台了
Penny is speaking soon.
迷死人了
That’s so hot.
-搞定没 -还没
-Is it done? -No.
还没开枪就闯进几个笨加拿大佬
Some Canadian douchebags barged in before I could finish her.
好吧
Okay.
你跟着佩妮 逮到机会就杀了她
You follow Penny, and the next chance you get, kill her.
我来解决那两个人 拿到包裹
I’ll take out the guys, get the box.
如果他们已经进了会场怎么办
What if they have already gone into the KEN conference?
不可能
Not a chance.
一年多前票就卖♥♥光了 守卫森严
The event’s been sold out for over a year, and the security is insane.
请出示票券
Tickets, please.
不用了 谢谢
No, thank you.
我们不想听无聊的演说
We’re not much for boring speeches.
只是要把这个包裹交给他女儿
We just have to make sure that his daughter gets this box.
没票就不能入场 没有任何例外
No tickie, no entry. No exceptions.
你找到品契洛博士了吗
Have you found Dr. Pinchelow yet?
没有 我根本不知道他长怎样
No. I don’t even know what he looks like.
太扯了
This is ridiculous.
我只知道他有戴助听器
How am I supposed to find the man in this throng
要怎么在人群中找到他
when all I know about him is that he wears hearing aids?
很好 票卖♥♥光了 我死定了
Great. It’s sold out. I’m dead.
学历再高也没用啦
So much for higher education.
放心吧 哈利
Relax, Har.
我们会找到她的 你肾脏快死了别太激动
We’re gonna find her. Don’t get that dying kidney all worked up.
不是肾脏问题
Oh, it’s not the kidney.
我好像扭到肌肉
I think I gotta pinch a loaf.
品契洛 有人说品契洛吗
Pinchelow? Did someone say Pinchelow?
天哪 真的是你
Oh, my goodness, it is you!
你真的来了 我是梅尔德曼博士
You’re really here! I’m Dr. Meldmann.
你从马里兰州来这里还顺利吗
How was your trip from Maryland?
不太顺利
Not so great.
车子被偷了 他还被诱拐指奸了一个老太太
Somebody stole our car and he finger-bombed an old lady.
听起来真惨
Sounds terrible.
你来到这里我们会好好接待你
We’ll take really good care of you now that you’re here.
你要不要去休息室
Uh, would you like to go into the foyer
喝点鸡尾酒 品契洛博士
for the cocktail reception, Dr. Pinchelow?
品契洛博士
Yes, Dr. Pinchelow would love to go
我们去喝鸡尾酒
to the foyer for the cocktail reception.
好 喝个烂醉
Yeah, cool. Let’s get ripped.
这边请
Uh, this way, please.
抱歉 请问大名
I’m sorry, your name is?
我是他的同事圣诞博士
I’m his associate, Dr. Christmas.
圣诞节的圣诞
Ah, Christmas like the holiday?
不是 圣诞树的圣诞
No. Like the tree.
请教一个问题 博士
May I ask you a question, Doctor,
我不是故意问得这么直接
and I don’t mean to be insensitive,
品契洛博士有亚斯伯格症吗
but, uh, does Dr. Pinchelow have Asperger’s?
大概吧
Probably.
我知道他不太会擦屁♥股♥
I know he doesn’t wipe real well.
你们先熟悉一下环境
Why don’t you gentlemen make yourselves at home.
我去找主办人
I’m gonna go fetch the, uh, director of the conference,
芭芭拉·沃考博士
Dr. Barbara Walcott.
她等不及要见你了
She can’t wait to meet you.
芭芭拉博士 真的有女博士吗
Dr. Barbara? A lady doctor? Seriously?
女博士我听到就想笑
Lady doctor, that always cracks me up.
大概是洗衣服的博士
Yeah, doctor of doing the laundry, maybe.
对吧
Am I right?
我马上回来
I’ll be right back.
罗伊 你在想什么
What were you thinking, Lloyd?
现在我们都成了博士
Now he thinks we’re doctors.
至少我们进来了啊
At least we’re in the door.
现在只要装出聪明的模样 就能融入其中了
Now all we gotta do is act intelligent. We’ll fit right in.
好
Okay.
酒保
Hi, barkeep.
-一杯啤酒多少钱 -是无偿的
-How much for a beer? -It’s gratis.
感觉好像很贵
That sounds expensive.
等我们一下
Can you give us a moment?
罗伊 我们买♥♥毕业服把钱花光了
Lloyd, we blew our money on the graduation robes.
不如别喝酒了吧
Maybe we shouldn’t drink.
不行 我一定要喝酒
No way. I need booze, man.
如果我没喝茫就见到你女儿
If I meet your daughter without a buzz on,
她会觉得我很低能
she’ll think I’m an idiot.
等一下
Hey, wait a minute!
来玩”臭臭栽赃”的老把戏吧