因为虽然如此 我还是希望你幸福
Because, despite everything, I just want you to be happy.
为什么
Why?
为什么
Why?
因为我爱你
‘Cause I love you.
别待在丹佛 回来吧
Look, don’t stay in Denver. Come back,
就当是我这个不停搬家想逃避事情的人
and you can take that from someone who moves around constantly
给你的建议 这行不通的
to avoid dealing with things. It never works.
但我想你已经懂了
But I think you know that already.
如果感兴趣可以电邮我 不必当面聊 行吗
If you’re interested, just email me. We don’t need to talk, okay?
最后的拥抱
One last hug?

Oh, shit.
抱歉 我迟到了 我遇上…
Sorry I’m late, there was trouble…
-你没事吧 -我没事 你还好吧
– Are you okay? – Yeah, I’m fine, are you good?
-我很好 别担心 -埃迪人呢
– Yeah, I’m good. Don’t worry. – Where’s Eddie?
他正在上第十一次厕所
He’s using the toilet for the eleventh time.
我要跟尿频老奶奶结婚了
I’m getting married to an old lady.
他妈的人呢
Where the fuck is he?
快点 就快排到我们了
Hurry up! We’re gonna lose our spot in line.
好像这座城市他妈的每个人都要结婚了
It’s like every fucker in the city’s getting married.
我快被一堆伴娘碾平了
I nearly got run over by a stampede of bride’s maids.
我们为什么没伴娘
Why don’t we have bride’s maids?
-有我们呢 -没错
– You have us. – Yeah
我可是意大利人 天啊
I’m Italian, for Christ’s sake.
这肯定是史上排场最小的意大利婚礼
This is gonna be the smallest Italian wedding in the history of time.
这只是登记 今晚会办派对
This is just paperwork. We’re gonna party tonight.
好吧 那我怎么穿着这个
Yeah, then why am I wearing this?
穿着什么 你又没穿婚纱
Like… wearing what? You’re not wearing a wedding dress.
也许我应该穿
Maybe I should be.
我们也许还该在教堂结婚
And maybe we should be getting married in a church,
感谢伟大的上帝赐予我们的爱
giving thanks to the great white man in the sky for our love.
我不是这个意思
That’s not what I said.
我们这么做不是为了别人
We’re not doing this for other people,
也不是为了我们的父母
we’re not doing this for our parents,
更不是为了根本不想鸟的人
we’re not doing this for people we don’t give fuck about.
而是为了我们自己 我们说过的
we’re doing this for us. That’s what we discussed.
我母亲不该来吗 不然为什么要结婚
Shouldn’t my mother be here? Otherwise, why are we doing this?
这到底是干嘛
I mean, what is this?
天啊 我们到底为什么要结婚
Oh, my god. Why are we doing this at all?
好吧 我们至少得登记吧
Okay. Can we at least check in?
我得再去趟厕所[逃婚] 但这次不是为了尿尿
I have to toilet again, and this time it’s not pee-pee.
不 忍♥住行吗 你的括约肌很强壮
No no no, hold it in okay? You have a powerful sphincter.
来吧 好
Come on, bounce. All right.
我们在那边见
I’ll meet you guys up there.
-杰克 能视频呼叫他妈吗 -好
– Jake, can we get mama on FaceTime? – Yes. Yes
我来搞定他
I got this.
我们应该堵住出口 埃迪出人意料地快
We should man the exits. Eddie is surprisingly fast.
他不会跑的 是吧
He’s not gonna do that, is he?
他又露出那种眼神了
He’s had that look in his eyes before.
我觉得奥古斯丁会想通的
I think Agustin’s gonna figure it out.
-你刚去哪儿了 -没去哪儿
– Where were you? – Nowhere.
-那怎么感觉你… -我很好
– So, why do you look so… – I look fine.
-靠 我得尿了 -真的吗
– Shit, I need to pee, now. – Really?
我也是
So do I.
怎么 我真的想
What? I really do.
好吧 你们去尿 我们在上面见
Okay. When you guys pee, and I’ll meet you up there.
-行 -好的
– Yeah. – All right
我宣布你们结为连理
I pronounce you partners for life.
现在可以接吻了
Now you may kiss.
你好 不好意思 我们应该是下一组
Hello. Sorry, I think that we’re next.
-你是兰金还是兰怀斯 -不是我要结婚
– Are you Rankin or Lanwise? – No, I’m not getting married.
是我朋友 他们马上就到 他们…
It’s my friends, but they’ll just be a minute. They’re…
-婚前紧张吗 -之类的吧
– Last minute nerves? – Something like that.
很常见 我不会担心
It’s very common. I wouldn’t worry.
他们在一起四十五年了
Those two have been together for 45 years.
-真厉害 -确实
– That’s amazing. – Yes, it is.
-我能问你件事吗 -当然
– Can I ask you something? – Of course.
你干这行多久了
How long have you been doing this?
很久了 一些人会认为太久了
A very long time. Some people would say too long.
那…
And…
你能看出来一对能不能成吗
are you able to tell if it’s gonna work or not?
有时吧 也许我可以看出来谁比谁更想结婚
Sometimes, maybe I can tell who wants it more than the other one,
-好吧 -或者…
– Yeah. – Or… you know.
谁是真心的 谁还云里雾里
Who’s gotten real and who’s head is still in the clouds.
谁愿意或不愿意去适应
Who’s willing or unwilling to adapt.
还有
And,
你真觉得人们可以为了彼此而改变吗
do you really think that people can change for each other?
我认为是适应不是改变 这样更现实点
I prefer adapt to change. It’s a little more realistic.
而且我了解到我们现在的样子 新的样子
Plus I read somewhere that every part of us has something to do
总和过去的样子有所联♥系♥
with the part that came before. Every new part is.
听多了吧
Does that sound corny?
但我觉得很有道理
It’s… well, works for me.
所以我们才总是犯同样的错
Maybe that’s why we keep making the same mistakes.
或许吧
Probably.
你结婚多久了
How long have you been married?
告诉你个秘密 我没结婚
Between you and me, not married.
但你的戒指
But, your ring.
道具而已 没人待见健身房♥里的胖教练
It’s a prop. Nobody wants a fat trainer at the gym.
懂我的意思吧
You know what I mean.
-好了吗 准备好了吗 -是的
– You okay? You all set? – Yes.
-兰怀斯 -搞定了
– Lanwise? – I got it.
是我妈妈
Oh, it’s my mom.
-打个招呼 -妈妈好 你好
– Say hi. – Hi mama. Hi!
抱歉 我觉得我们还需要一会儿
I’m sorry I think we’ll just be one more minute.
-没关系 慢慢来 -谢谢 非常感谢
– Sure. Take your time. – Thank you for it. Appreciate it.
你俩没事吧
Is everything all right?
-现在没事了 -怎么说
– It is, now. – What’d you say?
这么说吧 他是西格妮·韦弗的脑残粉
Let’s just say he’s a big Sigourney Weaver fan,
谢谢你了
so thank you for that.
我很荣幸 这才是损友伴娘的用处
It was my pleasure. That’s what maids of dishonor are for.
我只希望这场婚姻顺其自然
I just hope that this marriage can be whatever we want it to be.
没错 又不是你突然想要专一
Exactly. It’s not like you’re just gonna suddenly be monogamous
还搬去郊区
and move to the suburbs.
确实
No.
而且我爱他 他也爱我
And then, I love him, and he loves me,
最不济还会怎样呢
so what’s the worst that could happen?
行不通就行不通吧 但至少试过了
It doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work out, but, at least we tried.
没错
Yeah.
赶紧来吧
Let’s fuckin’ do this.
你都搞定了 是吧
Yeah. You got it all done, right?
很好 完美 你们看着那个
Great, perfect, and if you would just take a look at that
确保他们说出所有的心里话
and make sure they’re saying everything they want to say.
爱德华 你选择奥古斯丁作为你的人生伴侣
Edward, you have chosen Agustin to be your partner in life.
你愿意永远爱他 尊重他
Will you strive to love and respect him always,
不管发生什么都诚实善良 给他依靠吗
be honest and kind and stand by him, whatever may come?
我愿意
I do.
奥古斯丁 你选择爱德华作为你的人生伴侣
Agustin, you’ve chosen Edward to be your partner in life.
你愿意永远爱他 尊重他
Will you strive to love and respect him always,
不管发生什么都诚实善良 给他依靠吗
be honest and kind and stand by him, whatever may come?
是的 我愿意
I do. Yes.
你们俩都愿意适当地调整
And do you both promise to make the necessary adjustments
自己的性格和职业
in your personal and professional lives
从而让婚后生活得更加和谐吗
in order that you may live in a harmonious relationship together?
我们愿意
We do.
爱德华 奥古斯丁 既然你们俩
And as much as you, Edward, and you, Agustin,
都已在众人面前承诺了对彼此的爱
have pledged your love to each other in front of these witnesses,
凭借加利福尼亚州赋予我的权力
by the power vested in me by the state of California,
我宣布你们结为连理
I pronounce you partners in life.
现在亲吧
Now you may kiss.
天啊
My god.
接下来干什么
Now what?

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