黑衣人3（2012）

我承认 非常有趣 非常到位
I’ll give it to you. It’s funny, very elaborate.
你们各位 演得棒极了
Oh, and all of you, fantastic performances.
真不敢相信 14年了
Can’t believe you waited 14 years
你们才开始有一点幽默感
to develop a sense of humor,
不过这次真绝了
but this is a good one.
但是K 我要你马上给我出现
But K, I need you to come out here now
再不出来 我要生气了
because I’m starting to get a little pissed off.
特工J 请你把嗓门放低点
Agent J, would you mind keeping your voice down
告诉我你在找谁 好吗
and telling me who it is you’re looking for?
我在找K
I’m looking for K.
K是谁
Who is K?
怎么搞的 连你也这样
You too? You too.
我是说 他是你什么人
I mean, who is he to you?
他是我搭档
My partner.
老头子 110岁了吧
Older gentleman, 110…
或者 111岁了
…maybe 111 years old.
阴沉不定 又有点猫王的气质
Sort of a surly, Elvis thing happening with him.
笑起来这个样子
He smiles like this.
有印象了吗
Seen him around?
我带你去见他
I’ll take you to K.
谢了
Thank you.
-这什么玩意 -这就是K
– What is that supposed to be? – That’s K.
他死了40多年了
He’s been dead for over 40 years.
行了 你要开玩笑 也得有个笑点吧
Okay, see, the prerequisite for a joke is that it be funny.
这根本就不是玩笑
It’s never been funny.
资料检索 特工K和孽畜鲍里斯
Computer, Agent K and Boris the Animal.
黑超特警组案件报告 1969年7月
Men in Black incident report, July, 1969.
地点 卡纳维拉尔角
Location, Cape Canaveral.
凶犯孽畜鲍里斯逃离地球
Perpetrator Boris the Animal escaped and fled Earth.
被认为已返回
Assumed to have returned
20光年之外的伯格罗蒂亚星球
to planet Boglodotia 20 light-years away.
特工K在案发现场壮烈牺牲
Agent K pronounced dead at scene.
被追授荣誉表彰
Awarded posthumous commendation for action
其行动使人员伤亡降至最低
which prevented greater loss of human life.
这不是事实
That’s not what happened.
我看过这报告 是K把鲍里斯抓起来的
I looked at this report. K put Boris away–
K已经死了
Agent K is dead.
可我昨晚还和他通话
Well, I just talked to him last night.
-你在胡思乱想 -我才没有乱想
– You are imagining. – I’m not imagining anything.
-马上呼叫心理医疗队 -遵命 长官
– I need a psych team up here right now. – Yes, ma’am.
他刮完脸用的是韦尔瓦须后水
Aqua Velva aftershave.
这可不是我能乱想出来的
I didn’t imagine that.
每次盯梢 他都不停地放牛仔音乐
Every stakeout, endless hours of cowboy music.
每天早晨喝咖啡 他都会说
Every morning with his coffee, he’d say,
小子 我告诉你
“I’ll tell you something, slick.
这咖啡喝起来有股土渣味
This coffee tastes like dirt.”
我就会说 知足吧
And I was supposed to say, “What do you expect?”
-可是今天早上刚磨的 -刚磨的
– “It was ground this morning.” – “This morning.”
你怎么会知道
How do you know that?
先生 巧克力奶茶
Chocolate milk, sir?
你死哪儿去了 都有一个小时了
Where you been, man? It was like an hour ago.
等等
Wait.
你什么时候开始喜欢喝巧克力奶的
How long have you been craving chocolatized dairy products?
就今天
Just today.
你现在是不是有点头痛 头晕
Are you experiencing headaches? Dizziness?
腿脚不稳
Loss of balance?
情绪激动 郁闷
Agitation? Depression?
对
Hell, yeah.
有两种可能
Two possibilities.
一是你被霍瓦蒂脑虫咬了
One is you’ve been bitten by a Hovartian brain tick
随时可能剧痛而死
and could die in horrible agony at any moment.
糟糕 不是脑虫
Damn it. It’s not the tick.
没被脑虫咬还糟糕
“Damn it, it’s not the tick”?
难道还有比这更糟糕的
It’s something worse than the tick?
你对巧克力奶的痴迷
Your obsession with chocolate milk
表明你可能曾被吸入时空裂口
indicates that you might be involved in a temporal fracture.
我不知道你在说什么
I don’t know what you’re talking about.
巧克力奶可以缓解时空碎裂造成的头痛
Chocolate milk relieves temporal-fracture headaches.
什么时空裂口
What’s a temporal fracture?
一种历史时间轴的断裂
A break in the timeline.
我不知道你在说什么
I don’t know what you’re talking about.
时空旅行 历史穿越
Time travel! Time travel.
哪里有什么时空旅行
There’s no such thing as time travel.
-这就是啊 -不
– Well, there is. – No.
不可能
There’s not.
如果真有这种事情
Because if there were.
像我这样资深的高级探员
A class-one senior agent such as myself
难道一点都没感觉吗 更不用说K了
would have been aware of it, wouldn’t he have?
除非他也没达到级别
Were it not classified and way above his pay grade.
我要求升级
You know, I need a raise.
有个龌龊的人 名叫俄巴底亚·普莱斯
There was one man, scumbag, Obadiah Price.
他想搞时空旅行 被我们阻止了
He figured it out, we busted him,
我们以非法穿越时空罪将他逮捕
we made time travel illegal throughout the universe
他现在月桂冠监狱服刑
and he is serving life on Lunar-Max.
天哪 鲍里斯就关在那里
No, that’s where Boris was locked up.
如果鲍里斯掌握了穿越技术
If Boris worked out how to time jump
会严重地改变历史进程
he could seriously change the course of history.
注意 早期预警系统启动
Attention. Early warning system engaged.
有侵略战舰进入太阳系
Inbound hostile warships entering solar system.
经探测 发现了伯格罗蒂特标识及语言
Boglodite markings and language detected.
伯格罗蒂特
Boglodite.
鲍里斯就是伯格罗蒂特人 他们早灭绝了
Boris is a Boglodite, but they’re extinct.
显然还没有
Apparently not.
地球即将遭受灾难性攻击
Catastrophic Earth attack imminent.
启动天网
Put up the Arc Net.
启动什么
The what?
天网 防御系统
The Arc Net. The defense system.
K为防御伯格罗蒂特人设置的
K got it for the Boglodites.
K早就不在人世了
There is no K.
他已经死了40年了
He’s been dead for over 40 years.
没有K就没有防御系统
No K. No defense system.
鲍里斯穿越回去杀了他
Boris jumped back and killed him.
如果你要拯救世界 就必须阻止这件事发生
If you wanna save the world, stop that from happening.
你得去找杰弗里·普莱斯 俄巴底亚的儿子
You have to find Jeffrey Price. He’s Obadiah’s son.
希望那小子还没有穿越回过去
Let’s hope the little squirt hasn’t skipped town.
有什么需要吗
How can I help you?
现在电池正惊爆促销中
We’re having an amazing sale on batteries.
别激动 我们还有其他商品
Okay, we got other stuff,
耳机 适配器…
like headphones, adapters or…
是你帮鲍里斯穿越时空的
You helped Boris the Animal time jump.
的确 但我没得选 那家伙是个怪物
Okay, I had to. That dude’s a freak.
他杀了我搭档
He killed my partner.
我要知道他穿越的时间和地点
I want to know when and where you sent him.
什么 你当我是记事本吗
What, you think I keep, like, a logbook?
发送目标 1969年7月16日
Target vector, July 16 1969
好吧
All right.
你朋友的不幸我深表遗憾
That’s a real bummer about your buddy.
我确信他是个好人
I’m sure he was a great guy.
但对于整个时空连续体来说
But in terms of the space-time continuum
他只是雷达屏幕上的一个小小光点
your friend was a little blip on the historical radar!
还真是个大光点
That’s a big blip.
好吧 你是什么计划
Okay. What’s the plan?
把我传回到
You’re gonna send me.
1969年7月15日
Back to July 15th, 1969.
不 这很愚蠢
No, that’s a stupid plan,
因为我把鲍里斯传回了7月16日
because I sent Boris to July 16th.
我才不担心那个
I’m not worried about that one.
我要赶在老鲍里斯出现前杀掉小鲍里斯
I’ll kill the younger Boris before the older one shows.
那样他们两个就都不存在了
That way, neither of them will even exist.
怪不得你能穿上这黑西装
That’s why you get to wear the black suit.