Chester, for the last time,
那里根本没有围栏
there’s no fucking fence there.
-跑过来就行！ -不行
-Just come out with us! -I can’t.
这里真的有魔法围栏
I’m telling you, there is a magical fence there.
只不过你们看不到
You just can’t see it!
来吧 切斯特！
-Come on, Chester! -Come on!
切斯特！切斯特！
Chester! Chester!
好吧 你们把我说动了 我也不知道为什么
Honestly, that is persuasive, and I don’t know why.
我居然会做这种事
I can’t believe I’m doing this.
加油 别怂！
Stop being a pussy and do this!
好吧！
Okay!
耶 快跑！
Whoo! Run!
-切斯特！ -你能行！
– Chester! Chester! – You can do it!
切斯特 你能做到！
You got it, Chester. You got it!
哇
Whoo!
我靠！
Goddamn!
真的有魔法围栏！
It’s real! The magic fence is real!
? Big dog status, big dog baggage ?
? Big dog, fuck it I got big dog habits ?
? See, I’m going hard in the paint Doing damage ?
? Big dog tell me do it Look like I’m average… ?
对 你要受罚哦
Oh, yeah. You gonna get it.
你又不乖了 对不对
Somebody been naughty. You a naughty–
淘气的小猫头鹰
You a little naughty owl.
你说的对 小虫 这样骑很爽
You’re right, Bug. I like this humping.
小虫 我能试试你的猫头鹰吗？
Bug, can I try your owl?
我就说残渣之夜能让你解放吧
I told you scraps night was gonna be off the chain, baby.
我玩得很开心
I’m having a great time.
是不是因为母狗
Ain’t this about a bitch.
看看这个猫娘养的
Look at this motherfucker right here.
喂 想干什么 兄弟？
What you want, huh, homie?
-我要把你的蛋挠下来 -好了 走吧
-I’ll rip your motherfucking nuts off. -Come on, let’s go.
-竖着耳朵的王八蛋 -走吧 不值当的
-Pointy-eared motherfucker. -Come on, it’s not worth it.
-这就对了 小雷 -我做的怎么样？
– There you go, Reg. – I’m doing good?
让地精尝尝你的厉害
Give it to that gnome, Reg.
告诉地精你才是爸爸
Tell that gnome you’re his daddy.
你好 地精 我是你的父亲
Hey, gnome. I’m your father.
-很高兴终于找到你了 -雷吉
– It’s good to finally meet you. – Reggie.
虽然现在的场面有点尴尬
Even under these strange circumstances.
不是这样 雷吉
No, Reggie.
你抓不到我！
Oh, you can’t get me!
我快如闪电！
Aha, ah– I’m too fast for you. I’m too fast for you.
-这个猫娘养的居然紧追不舍 -我们走吧
-This motherfucker is keeping up. -Come on, let’s go.
还带着一个在家烫了大♥波♥浪的傻♥逼♥朋友
With your little bitch-ass friend with a home perm and shit.
-你说什么？ -这就对了 小雷
-What did you say? -There you go, Reg.
-别这么看着我 -咬他屁♥股♥
-Don’t you look at me like that. -Get up in his ass.
我也不想动粗的
I would hate for this to get violent.
我都不知道我有儿子
I didn’t know I had a son.
-而且我儿居然是个地精！ -雷吉！
– And he’s a gnome of all things. – Reggie!
-靠 闭嘴吧！ -谁想骑我儿子？
-Fuck, shut up! -Anyone want to hump my son?
老天 行了 过分了
Man, come on. It’s too much.
他的外套好帅气啊
He’s handsomely dressed in a smart tunic.
切斯特 你真有种
Yo, Chester. You got balls, baby.
魔法围栏是真的 太牛逼了
That magic fence was legit.
我早就说了！
I kept telling you!
我怎么可能编出“魔法围栏”这种事
What a weird thing a magic fence would be to make up.
我无所不能
I can do anything.
-雷吉 不要 -怎么回事？
– Reggie, don’t. – Wait, what’s going on?
-不要 -雷吉 不要！
– No. Don’t do it! – Reggie, no.
我无所不能
I can do anything.
不要挑战黑魔法 小子
Do not test the dark arts, kid.
? Get wild ?
-我靠！ -太厉害了！
-Oh, shoot! -That was fucking amazing!
-牛啊！ -靠！
-Incredible! -Holy shit!
怎么可能！
-Yeah! -Impossible. That’s impossible!
-雷吉！ -我成功了！
– Reggie! – I did it! I did it!
今晚可真精彩
Oh, what a night.
是啊
Yeah.
雷吉 第一次闻你的屁♥股♥ 我就知道你很厉害
Reg, I could tell the moment I sniffed your anus, you’re a great guy.
-你是个传奇 -对吧 宝贝 我就说嘛
-You’re a legend. -Yeah, baby, I told you.
流浪狗的生活最美好了！
Stray’s life is the best life!
你得承认 偶尔摘下牵引绳 是很有趣的 对吧？
Yeah, you gotta admit, it’s fun to be off-leash for a bit, right?
-是吧 -确实挺爽的
– Right? – Yeah, it is kinda awesome
不用憋尿好几个小时 等道格放我出去上厕所
not having to hold my pee for ten hours until Doug lets me outside.
而且“传奇”比“狗东西”好听多了
And I like the sound of “legend” a lot more than “shitbag.”
各位 我还在尿呢
Guys, I’m still peeing.
他真那么叫你？
Wait, is that really what he called you?
而且我也不喜欢他在商店门口 急刹车的时候 我在车里滚来滚去
I really don’t miss roasting in the car when he stops at a store,
而且他只留一条窗户缝 我每次都憋得要死
and he leaves me with the windows cracked barely enough for me to stay conscious.
-什么？ -我在车里喘着粗气
– Wait, what? – And I’m just panting, gasping for air
差点要憋死 他45分钟后才会回来
and trying to survive until he comes back in 45 minutes.
道格就是这样 很搞笑
Classic Doug. Too funny.
这家伙不好好照顾你 把你扔在街上
So, this guy neglects you, throws you on the street,
你还觉得他是好人？
and you still think he’s a good guy?
对啊 如果道格不爱我
Yeah. I mean, if Doug doesn’t like me,
他为什么会让我吃他剩下的食物？
why does he let me eat his leftover human food?
因为他不想买♥♥狗粮
So he doesn’t have to buy dog food.
他为什么不给你项圈和名牌？
And why didn’t he put a collar and tags on you?
因为他不喜欢给我贴标签
Because he doesn’t believe in labels.
行了 小雷
Ah, come on, Reg.
他给我的这条领巾比项圈特别得多
And the bandana he gave me is way more special than a collar,
这是他给鸡鸡擦鼻涕的
’cause he used it for his penis sneezes.
道格爱我
Doug loves me.
我们关系很好的
We have a good relationship.
你们不明白
You just don’t understand the situation,
如果道格真是坏人
because if Doug’s such a bad guy,
如果他故意抛弃我 故意伤害我
and he left me on purpose, and he hurt me on purpose,
那就意味着…
that would mean…
那就意味着…
that would mean…
道格不爱我
Doug doesn’t love me.
你们能让我自己静静吗？
Can you guys just give me a second?
可怜的小家伙
Poor little guy.
这就是经典的有毒关系
That is just the classic toxic relationship.
我该跟他谈谈 我是情感支持犬
I should probably talk to him. I am a therapy dog.
给他点时间吧
Nah, give him some space.
那孩子现在一定很痛苦
Kid’s been through a lot.
这就是你的声音 狗东西
That’s what you fucking sound like, you piece of shit.
滚开 坏狗！
Oh, get off! Get– Bad dog!
坏狗！
Bad dog! Bad dog!
全世界最恶心的狗
Worst dog in the fucking world.
嗨 雷吉
Hey, Reggie.
我知道你很受伤 肯定–
I know you’re feeling hurt right now, and it’s–
你肯定会不知所措
Ugh. It must be so hard to figure out what to do.
我要回去找道格
I’m going back to Doug’s.
-什么？ -搞什么 哥们儿？
-What? -The fuck, man?
怎么说你才能明白啊？ 他没有跟你玩游戏！
What’s it gonna take for you to understand that he’s not playing a game with you?
我也没跟他玩游戏
And I’m not playing a game with him.
好吧
Okay.
我这辈子都觉得 如果听不到“好孩子”
All my life, I felt like I wasn’t worth anything
我就一无是处
unless I heard those words, “Good boy.”
但我一直没等到
But they never came.
我要让他知道 他伤害了我
Well, he needs to know he’s hurt me.
我要让他体会到我的痛苦
He needs to feel my pain.
他造的孽 要用他唯一的真爱来偿还！
And he needs to pay for what he did with the only thing he truly loves!
我要把他的老二咬掉
I’m gonna bite his dick off.
等等 他是不是说了“咬”？
-Oh. -Wait, did he just say bite?
我还有点高 你是不是说–
Yeah, I’m still a little drunk, but did I just hear you say that you–
我说我要咬掉他的老二！
I said I’m gonna bite his dick off!
这我必须加入
Oh, I’m a hundred percent in for this.
-不行 -等等 小虫
– No, no. – Bug. Wait.
等等 瑞吉 拜托
Wait, Reggie, please.
我理解你 但这也太疯狂了
I feel you, I really do, but this is insane.
对 也许你可以咬个替代阴♥茎♥
Yeah, like, maybe there’s a metaphorical dick you could bite off,