说好了是五百万美元
The deal was five million!
五百万美元只可以让你得到些许地铁墙上的广♥告♥
$5 million will get you a couple of subway posters.
不会让任何人留下印象的
It’s not going to impress anyone.
就是这么打算的 尼克
That’s the idea, Nick.
不久你会感谢我的
You’ll be thanking me soon.
这或许会让你变成个大新闻
This’ll probably get you great press.
我得给总帅打个电♥话♥ 看看这是否能成
I gotta call the captain and see if this is gonna fly.
滚回特区来
Get your ass back to D.C.
50号♥公路东 华盛顿 乔治·华盛顿公园路
圣尤瑟娜西学校
非常感激你能来
Thank you so much for coming.
内勒先生
Mr. Naylor?
轮到你了
It’s your turn.

Ah.
乔伊是个好聪明的小伙子
Joey is such a bright young man.
我们都希望能看到
We all look forward
他能从他那小世界中出来一点
to his coming out of his shell a little.
他有点害羞
He’s a bit shy.
是啊 是她妈妈遗传给他的
Yeah, he gets that from his mother.
嗨 乔伊
Hey, Joey.
别毁了我的童年 拜托
Please don’t ruin my childhood.
得了吧 乔伊 相信我
Come on, Joey. Trust me.
你是做哪行的
长大后 你们中有多少希望成为律师的
How many of you want to be lawyers when you grow up?

Right.
那么
How about…
电影明星呢
movie stars?
那么说客呢
How about lobbyists?
那个是什么
What’s that?
是像电影明星的一种工作
It’s kind of like being a movie star.
我就是干这个的 我靠说话谋生
It’s what I do. I talk for a living.
你说什么呢
What do you talk about?
我代表香烟发言
I speak on behalf of cigarettes.
我妈妈以前抽烟
My mom used to smoke.
她说香烟能致死
She says that cigarettes kill.
真的吗 那么 你妈妈是个医生吗
Really? Now, is your mommy a doctor?
不是
No.
那么是个科学研究员之类的吗
A scientific researcher of some kind?
不是
No.
哦 那么 她说话就不是很像
Well, she doesn’t exactly sound
一个可信的专家了 是吧
like a credible expert, now, does she?
别沮丧
Don’t feel bad.
听你妈妈当然没错
It’s okay to listen to your mom.
我是说 听你们父母的话都是好事 乔伊
I mean, it’s good to listen to your parents… Joey.
我所要建议的只是
All I’m suggesting
总是有人试着要告诉你
is that there will always be people trying to tell you
该做什么 该想什么
what to do and what to think.
大概已经有人这么做了
There probably already are people doing that.
对不对
Am I right?
是啊
Yes.
我在这里想说的是
I’m here to say
当有人想扮演专家 给你们说这说那时
that when someone tries to act like some sort of an expert,
你们可以问 “谁说的”
you can respond, “Who says?”
所以 香烟对人们好吗
So, cigarettes are good for you?
不 -不 那不是
No! -No, that’s not…
那不是我想要说的
That’s not what I’m getting at.
我是说你们应该学会自己思考
My point is that you have to think for yourself.
你们应该挑战权威
You have to challenge authority.
如果你们的父母告诉你们 巧克力是危险的
If your parents told you that chocolate was dangerous,
你们就会这样相信他们了吗
would you just take their word for it?
不会
No.
对了
Exactly.
所以 你们不要象乖乖羊一样听话
So perhaps instead of acting like sheep
当涉及到香烟问题时
when it comes to cigarettes,
你们应该自己去查明
you should find out for yourself.
好的 那么
Okay, then.
感谢内勒先生加入我们
Thank you, Mr. Naylor, for joining us.
每周 我们在伯特饭店里聚会
Every week we meet here at Bert’s.
在一起 我们是首席发言人
Together, we represent the chief spokespeople
分别代表烟草 酒精 军♥火♥行业
for the tobacco, alcohol and firearms industries.
我们把自己称为MOD小组
We call ourselves the MOD Squad.

All right.
M-O-D 死亡商人
M-O-D, Merchants of Death.
为美国自豪吧
哎 我今天被毁了
So, my day’s ruined.
为什么
Why?
美国电视新闻节目 一周一次
日界线节目上播了一段
Dateline’s doing a segment
因为我们有能用钱买♥♥到的最好的政♥府♥
关于胎儿酒精综合症的节目 谢谢你
on fetal alcohol syndrome. Thank you.
宝丽为节制委员会工作
Polly works for the Moderation Council.
她14岁时不经意间成了个酒徒
A casual drinker by the age of 14,
宝丽很快就培养了
Polly quickly developed
南密苏里酒精饮料部门
一般爱尔兰码头工人才有的耐性
a tolerance usually reserved for Irish dockworkers.
在我们的世界里 她就是
In our world, she’s the woman
使罗马教皇认可红酒的女人
that got the pope to endorse red wine.
每日品酒家-勃艮第修女 勃艮第 法国盛名葡萄酒出产地
我们快全军覆没了
We’re gonna get creamed.
有什么好主意吗
Any ideas?
我不知道
I don’t know.
畸形孩子很难搞定
Deformed kids are tough.
我很幸运 自己产品在致人死地之前 只会让他们秃头
I’m lucky my product only makes them bald before it kills them.
你可以抱抱那些孩子
You could hug the kids.
他们不会让我抱孩子的
They’re not going to let me hug the kids.
是谁制♥作♥那片段的 唐纳德逊还是索亚
Who’s doing the segment, Donaldson or Sawyer?
可能是索亚
Sawyer, probably.
你完了
You’re fucked.
为什么
Why?
因为她会去抱孩子的
Cause she’s gonna hug them.
看吧 如果你看到她要进去抱的话
Look, if you see her going in for a hug,
你可以把她打出局 在她之前先抱上那些孩子
maybe just box her out, get in there before she does.
safety词义为安全
鲍比·杰为SAFETY工作
BobbyJay works for SAFETY,
军♥火♥进步协会
(ricochet) -The Society for the Advancement of Firearms
和青年有效训练
and ive Training for Youth.
你想我微笑
You want me to smile?
在观看了肯特洲枪击事件的胶片后
After watching the footage of the Kent State shootings,
那时还只有17岁的鲍比·杰 应征加入了国民警卫队
BobbyJay, then 17, signed up for the National Guard
这样的话 他也可以去射大学生了
so he, too, could shoot college students.
国名警卫队招募中心-10分钟后回来招更多的人
但是 国民警卫队的征兵人出去吃午饭了
But the National Guard recruiter was out to lunch,
所以呢 鲍比·杰最后改射巴拿马人了去了
so BobbyJay ended up shooting Panamanians instead,
他们和大学生差不多
which was almost as good as college students.
只是他们会开枪回来
Only they shoot back.
用来测试驾驶人喝酒是否过量
你知道 你可以唬弄酒精含量测定器
You know, you can beat a Breathalyzer
通过嘬些活性木碳片吗 -真的吗
by sucking on activated charcoal tablets? -Really?
也许我们应该把我们的宣传活动变成
Maybe we should change our campaign to
“若是你一定得喝酒开车 请嘬些活性木碳片”
“If You Must Drink and Drive, Suck Charcoal.”
好是好 但警♥察♥不会怀疑
Yeah, but don’t the police wonder
为什么你们在嘬木碳片吗
why you’re sucking on charcoal?
没有法律反对木碳片
There’s no law against charcoal.
还没 -还没
Yet. -Yet.
爸爸 为什么美国政♥府♥是最好的政♥府♥
Dad, why is the American government the best government?
因为我们有无止尽的上诉系统
Because of our endless appeals system.
乔 你没把我刚刚说的写下来吧
Joe, you’re not writing down what I just said are you?
乔伊 停会
Joey, stop for a second.
你作文题目是什么
What is the subject of your essay?
为什么美国政♥府♥是世界上最好的政♥府♥
Why is American government the best government in the world.
你老师出的题目
Your teacher crafted that question?
是啊 咋拉
Yeah. Why?
恩 我就先回顾一下句法的
Well… I’ll look past the obvious problems
一些明显的问题
in syntax for a moment,
然后我会集中去考虑这问题的核心
and I’ll focus more on the core of the question.
我意思是 第一