我们曾一度想去接受
We at one time were going to pursue
戏剧方面的专业教育
an education in the theater
我们俩一起去了
and we both actually auditioned together
“不太出名”的茱莉亚学院试镜
for a little-known institution called Juilliard.
候场时
We were in the waiting room, you know.
我已经把要表演的独白准备好了
I had my monologue all prepared.
那天我要表演朱丽叶的“飞驰吧”选段
I was doing “Gallop Apace,” Juliet.
她要表演罗密欧在墓地的选段
She had Romeo in the tomb.
这时候
And then…
杰拉德走进了等候室 08届的杰拉德
Gerald walked into the waiting room. Gerald ’08.
08届的杰拉德走了进来
Gerald ’08 walked in.
你可能不知道 珍妮特
Just to catch you up, Janet,
我俩曾经打得火热
we had a torrid affair.
大家纷纷猜测我们会不会怎么样
Lot of, like, will they, won’t they.
全营的人都在议论这件事
The camp was all abuzz about it.
其实我们从没说过话 没牵过手 更没接过吻 但是
We never really spoke or touched or kissed, but it…
谣言却满天飞
You know, it was on everybody’s lips.
所以他一出现 我就心烦意乱
And so he really threw my pH balance, like, way off.
丽贝卡也感受到了
And Rebecca could feel it, too,
因为我们俩心灵相通
because we kind of share a soul.
我们在艺术追求上 情感上都很有默契
And we are linked artistically, emotionally…
可以说 我们是一体的 你们俩是病态依恋吗
Completely. We are one. – You’re codependent?
不是 只能说我们彼此依靠
Well, no, I would say that we’re dependent on each other.
总之
So, anyways,
我们差一点点
we were inches from a callback,
就通过了初选
slipped from our hands.
就是没通过
It didn’t happen. – It didn’t go our way.
挺不如意的 我们俩惨遭淘汰 -没戏
We both bombed. – No.
惨遭淘汰
Bombed.
我们一直想演
Yeah, we’ve always wanted to do
一个性别反转版本的
a gender-reversed production
《罗密欧与朱丽叶》
of Romeo and Juliet. – Mmm-hmm.
那为什么还不演呢
Why don’t you do it?
我很乐意跟你一起演的
Well, I would love to do it with you.
我们一直有很认真地
And I’ve been working really hard and taking…
当然我们最终的目标
I mean, you know, the absolute goal at the end of the day
肯定还是要表演
is, of course, to perform,
只是现在还不是时候
but I don’t think we’re quite at that place.
唉 烦死了
Ay, yikes.
您好 鲁宾斯基先生
Hi, Mr. Rubinsky,
我是沃里克银行的卡尔
this is Carl from Warwick Bank.
如果本周您还是无法偿还抵押贷款
If you do not make a payment on your mortgage this week,
我们将启动止赎程序
we will initiate foreclosure proceedings.
请采取相应措施 避免营地被收回
Please take action to avoid repossession of your camp.
“收回”指的是
“Repossession” means
重新占有某物
the action of retaking possession of something.
尤指当买♥♥家未能及时付款时
In particular, when a buyer defaults on payments.
噢 多么美好的
Oh, what a beautiful…
早晨
Morning!
好的 首先 解决一件小小的家务事
All right. First up, minor housekeeping issue.
不论是谁偷了我的加料软糖 请还给我
Whoever stole my CBD gummies, please return them.
我不会过多追究
No questions asked.
我已经知道是谁干的了
I’m pretty sure I know who it was,
只要悄悄还回来就行了
so just go ahead and cough that up.
没了软糖 我睡不着觉
I can’t sleep without them.
直男阿贱
CisHet bitch.
好吧 谢谢夸奖
Okay. Thank you for that.
谢谢
Thank you.
餐饮一直很不错 要保持哦
Food has been so good. Keep it up.
嘿 抱歉 你是 -对不起
Hey, sorry. Are you… – Sorry.
不 这全是我的错 不怪你
No, it was completely my fault. You’re fine.
嘿 你愿意跟我一起吃午饭吗
Hey, uh, do you wanna have lunch with me?
对了 谢谢你没有告诉别人银行要止赎的事
By the way, thanks for not telling anyone about the foreclosure.
我真的很感激
I really appreciate that.
这事儿我根本没把握
I don’t know if I can do this, man.
真不知道我妈妈是怎么撑起这个地方的
I have no idea how my mom kept this place afloat.
银行跟在我屁♥股♥后面要债
I mean, the bank’s way up my ass.
还有蒂姆老是投诉
Plus, Tim keeps complaining
说孩子们唱歌♥太吵
about being woken up by the kids’ singing.
蒂姆是谁
Who’s Tim?
我的民宿房♥客
My Airbnb bunkie.
他叫蒂姆 就是那个
This guy named Tim. That guy.
嘿
Hey! – I really can’t afford
我不能再有差评了
a bad review right now.
说真的 以往不管什么氛围我都能融入进去
I swear, dude, I can usually get down with any vibe.
可是这帮孩子们 天啊
But these kids, man.
他们压根不买♥♥我的帐
They just don’t wanna meet me halfway.
每次我推出一个计划
Every time I come up with a plan,
他们就管我叫乐器推销员
they call me the Music Man .
我都不知道那是什么意思
I don’t even know what that is.
是一部音乐剧
Well, it’s a musical.
这里什么玩意儿都能扯上音乐剧
Everything’s a goddamn musical here, man.
对 就是这样
Well, yeah, it is.
因为音乐剧几乎就是他们的生命
‘Cause it’s sort of their entire lives.
比如说那些孩子
Like those kids.
他们都出演了去年的《吉屋出租》
That’s actually last year’s cast of Rent.
那是一部很有影响力的作品
It was a very formative production.
就是关于家庭 关于社群的故事
It’s all about family. It’s all about community.
好吧 你说的
Okay, see, that’s…
很有帮助 -那就好
that’s helpful. – Good.
那他们呢
What about them?
他们是鲍勃·福西的粉丝
Those are Fosse kids.
如果他们冲你打响指
If they snap at you,
并不是要吩咐你干什么
just know that they’re not trying to be demanding.
那只是他们的专属词汇
It’s just part of the vocabulary.
这些孩子很聪明
These kids are smart.
你想要他们帮你 就得用
If you need their help, you just have to
他们愿意接受的方式
sort of meet them on their level.
海星
And starfish, starfish,
海星
starfish, and starfish.
像豺狼一样摇晃
Jiggle like a jackal.
像豺狼一样摇晃
Jiggle like a jackal.
你们要知道 只有3%的人能做到
You need to know that only 3% of people make it.
剩下的人要么进了精神病院
The rest of them end up in a mental facility
要么在地狱厨房♥的悬空舞台上
or on a go-go box in Hell’s Kitchen.
今天就从我的原创作品集里
Let’s just get a few more selections today
再挑选几个
from my collected original works,
同往年一样
as we do every year.
你这样太卑鄙了 艾琳
That’s a low blow, Eileen.
别假装你不是因为
And don’t pretend my IBS
介意我有肠易激综合症
isn’t part of why you haven’t wanted
而快十年没碰我了
to touch me in almost a decade.
这和你拉不拉肚子没关系 罗杰
It’s got nothing to do with your IBS, Roger.
我希望你再多体会一下
I want you to live a little bit more
患有肠易激综合症的感受
with the reality of having IBS
想想它会怎样影响你的角色
and what that might do to your character.
目前我感受不到患病的这个细节
Because I’m not really feeling the detail of the IBS.
我想活下去 妈妈
I wanna live, Mother.
让我们试着加入一些不同的味道
Let’s just try to throw some different spices in there.
有一点痛苦 有一点继父的味道
A little bit of pain, a little bit of stepfather.
知道了 所以把我的口红给我
Got it. So hand me my goddamn lipstick.
放我一条活路 很好
And let me live. – Good.
大体上好多了
Mostly a lot better.
谢谢你 达拉 坐下吧
Thank you, Darla. Take a seat.
好了 今天学点新的
Okay. Today’s a new thing.
我要教大家
I’m teaching, um,
舞台格斗
stage combat.
那是什么
What is it?
什么是舞台格斗
What is it?
是出人意料的艺术
It’s the art of surprise.