单亲度假村

-劳伦 -劳伦
Lauren -Lauren
猫头鹰先生
Mr Hooters
吉姆
Jim
你的毛衣里面有什么吗
What’s going on in the sweater?
就是为了杂♥志♥么
Just for the articles?
不 其实这些是
No, these are actually um
给我的儿子的
for my son
哇 好前卫的妈妈
What a progressive mother
我在他床底发现一张裸体插页 然后我把它撕掉了
I found a couple of pages under bed and I tore it up
杂♥志♥上的 不是网上的
From a magazine? Not the internet?
他很守旧派 我很尊敬这点
It’s old school, I respect that
你为什么要撕了
Why did you tear it up?
因为作为一个女人 我觉得被冒犯了
Because I was a woman, I was totally offended
你不需要如此 这是成长中的正常阶段
You do not have to be, it’s normal part of growing up
好吧 但他把我们家保姆的脸部照片贴了上去
Ok, but he takes a picture of our babysitter’s head on it
好 这就是病了 得治
Ok, that’s sick. He needs help
差不多要成神经病了
It is on the verge of insanity
噢真好笑 如果你有孩子你才会明白 -三个女儿
Funny, if you had kid you would understand -Three daughters
这很复杂
Shit
你有三个女儿
You have three daughters?
是的 你还有其他小孩还是只有这个自♥慰♥者
Yes, do you have another child or just the masturbator?
他有个弟弟
He has a younger brother
啊哈 也许你能好好教育那个小的
Maybe you’ll do a better job with that kid
我只是在开玩笑
I’m just joking
那怎样 你准备趁他发现之前放回去吗
So what? Are you here to replace it before the kid finds out?
是 但我不知道是哪本杂♥志♥ 我只
Yes, but I can not tell what magazine that’s from, I just…
你还有那张插页的碎片吗
Have some leftover image?
嗯 我有
Yes , I do
我 额 我试着粘回去
I tried to tape it back
做得很好 我几乎看不出来
You did a great job, I can hardly tell
快照杂♥志♥
Snapper Magazine
你怎么知道
How can you tell?
从书钉的位置看出来的
From the the staples’ place
还有纸张的质感
And the way the paper feel
而且我家里也有一本
and I already have thia copy at home
要不要击个拳
What if bumped fists?
没错 就是这本
Yeah, that’s the one
听着 我想有件事我们能互相帮助
Listen, I found that something could help us both
也能免去一些尴尬
And save some of our embarrassment
我带这个去收银员那 你替我拿这个
I’ll bring that to the cashier and you bring this up for me
这是给你女儿的吗
Are these for your daughter?
是啊 她15岁了 她的 好朋友 刚刚来访
yeah, she is 15 and her friend just pay a visit
好吧 这个是给更年老的 朋友 的
Ok, well these are for a much older friend
那种呆在比你女儿的更大一点的 空间 里
A much heavier friend staying in a much bigger room
的重量级 朋友
than your daughter has
你在说啥
You lost me
我知道你在说啥了 噢
You found me
-我能击你的拳吗 -不
Can I get a bump? -No
好 我们去结账吧
Ok, let’s do this
-总共13块 -嗨 我是汤姆
They will be $ 13 -Hello, I’m Tom
-你的零钱 -嗨 我是汤姆
Here is your change -Hello, I’m Tom
嗯 你告诉过我了
yah you’ve told me
下一个
Next
我还记得用薄舒宝的时光
I remember these days
你肯定在做运动吧
You must be doing your exercising
现在 我需要六张这种叠在一起
Nowadays I need six of these taped together
好的 继续吧
Ok, moving on…
周六晚的疯狂对吧 哈 小左手
Rock on Saturday hours, huh leftie?
不是我的 这是给她的孩子的
That’s not mine, that’s for her child
哦 真前卫的妈妈
Pretty progressive mom
是的 我也是这么说的
Yes, that’s what I said to her too
她很重视她的家庭教育 所以
She just takes it for home schooling , very seriously, that’s why
我们能把这些拿走了吗
Can I have those?
她要回家教育孩子了 所以
She has to go home with the child and get it started, so…
保重
take care
好
If
嗨 我是汤姆
Hi, I’m Tom
十分谢谢你出♥卖♥♥♥了我
Thanks a lot for selling me out back
噢 她甚至都没在听
She didn’t even hear about
-对不起 我紧张了 -噢 看出来了
-I am panicked, I am sorry -Oh , I noticed
谢谢
Thank you
我不敢相信你有三个女儿
I can not believe you have three girls
你想说什么
What does that even mean?
我只是没法想象你身边有三个女儿
I just can’t imagine you have three girls
那就别想
Don’t then
对不起 她们叫什么名
Sorry, what are their names?
希拉里 卢 还有艾斯本
Hilary, Lou and Espn
艾斯本
Espn
很特别 它是出自圣经吗
It is unique, is it biblical?
不
No
依据我最爱的广播网起的
Named that after my favorite net work
-不是吧 -真的
-Not -Yeah
-什么
What?
很酷吧
Pretty cool
我的天
Omg
你的妻子一定是个圣人
Your wife must have been a saint
她是
She was
你的丈夫肯定非常冷静地处理那个
Your husband must be very patient dealing with…
芝士棒队长的又一个迷人观点
Another charming sentiment from Captain cheese sticks
你知道吗 猫头鹰餐厅
You know what, Hooters is
对你来说太好了 我不会再带你去了
too good for you. I’ll never bring you there again
好吧
Well ,
那我可要学着习惯没有猫头鹰餐厅的生活了
then I guess I’ll have to learn to get through life without Hooters
你一直都做得很好
You ‘ve been doing a pretty damn good job so far!
这说不通
This doesn’t make any sense
我没意识到它们这么大
I did not realize they were that big
噢 管它呢
Oh , whatever
孩子们 很不幸你♥爸♥爸突然要去出差
Guys, unfortunately your dad had a business trip that came up
所以你们的漂流之旅只能推迟到夏天了
So your white water rafting trip is gonna get postponed till this summer
什么
What?
我们就呆在这一个星期没事干
We are stuck here doing nothing all week?
我另有计划啊 很棒的计划
I have plans, I have great plans actually
什么 比如打保龄球和去商场吗
Like what? Bowling and going to the mall?
你怎么知道
How did you know?
最好是爸爸
Bet that’s Dad
也许他会带我们一起出差
Maybe he’ll take us on his business trip
嗨 你妈妈在家吗
Oh hey, is your mom home?
什么叫你妈妈在家吗 你是谁
What do you mean “is your mom home”? Who are you?
我是吉姆
I am Jim
吉姆 Jim66@DSG.com
Jim? Jim66@DSG. Com? ?
这是什么 约会电视台吗 是的 你猜对了
What’s this ? Dateline NBC? Yes, you got it right
你要干嘛
What do you want?
我想和你妈妈谈谈 没什么大事
I need to talk to your mother, not a big deal
她说她对你没兴趣
Shw said she is not interested in you
相信我 指环王 我也对她没兴趣
Believe me , Frodo , I don’t like her either.
我得和她弄清一件事
Unfortunately I have to sort something out with her
布兰登 谁在
Brendan, honey, who is at the…?
嘿
Hey
吉姆
Jim
你说谎 骗子 你喜欢他
Liar, you like him
什么 我没撒谎 他是个搞笑小丑
What, I didn’t lie, he is a buffoon
-我说过的 -别跟我讲话
-Just like I said -Don’t talk to me
永远别跟我说话
Ever
不 亲爱的 别这样
No sweety, come on
好啦
Great
哪个是自♥慰♥者 大的那个吗
Wich one was the masturbator? The big one?
你为什么会在这 你想干嘛
Why are you here? What do you want?
药店的那个老家伙弄混了我们的信♥用♥卡♥
The old bag at the pharmacy, mixed up our card
不可能 因为我的信♥用♥卡♥整理得很好
That’s impossible because I keep my cards very organized
根据颜色 编码
In fact I keep them in color…