太奇怪了
This is so strange.
一般他们要等半个月才选新教皇
Usually they wait 1 5 days to elect a new Pope.
我们可能要见证一场历史
We could be seeing history in the making!
我们可能要见证一场逮捕
We could be seeing an arrest in the making.
她在那 米卡
There she is. Mieke!
嗨 傻瓜
Hey! Stupid curtain!
让我出去
Let me out!
米卡
Mieke!
新教皇
It’s the new Pope!
搞什么飞机嘛?
What the hell…?
米卡
Mieke!
等等我
Hold on!
这个教皇真疯狂
This is one crazy Pope.

You!
别动 站住你
Ferma! Stop! You!
你 你还有你那个低能儿朋友
You… and your retarded friend,
你们有大♥麻♥烦了
you’re in big, big trouble.
别碰这两个小子
Take your mitts off them boys!
他们是我罩着的
They’re with me!
我受够了你们这些 意大利杂种
I’ve just about had enough of you fuckin’ ities!
但我是瑞士雇佣兵
But I am Swiss!
也是杂种
Them, too!
好吧老弟
Now, bud…
你走过去想说啥就说啥
you get in there, and you say what you got to say.
米卡 我来了
Mieke. I’m here.
终于见到你了
I made it.
你是谁?
Who are you?
这鸟人真衰啊 我要把这录下来
What a fucking loser! I’m gonna videotape this.
我是斯科特
I’m Scott.
从俄亥俄州来
From Ohio
斯科特? 斯科特托马斯?
Scott? Scott Thomas?
– 嗯 – 俄亥俄州的?
– Yes. – From Ohio?
– 你在罗马干吗? – 我来这为了和你在一起
– What are you doing in Rome? – I came here to be with you.
你知道吗 我刚刚 穿越了整个欧洲
Listen, I just traveled all the way across Europe.
我被一群裸奔的糙爷们追得乱窜
I got chased by naked men.
我把不含一丁点麻醉剂的蛋糕当药磕
I ate brownies with absolutely no drugs in them.
我还看到了一对兄妹乱搞
I watched a brother and sister make out.
我还踢中了机器人的蛋蛋 我做了所有这些
I kicked a robot in the balls,but I did it all so that…
是为了跑来告诉你一件事
so I could tell you one thing.
我爱你米卡
I love you, Mieke.
我们互相倾慕 你说呢?
We’re perfect for each other. What do you think?
我觉得
I think…
麦克 米卡
Oh, Mike… Mieke!
宽恕我吧 神父 我违背了上帝的意旨
Forgive me, Father,for I have sinned.
我对我的丈夫不忠
I have cheated on my husband.
上帝会宽恕我吗?
Do you think God will ever forgive me?

Oh, yes!
神父?
Father?
太悲惨了
This sucks.
简直不能相信只有我 从这里空手而归
I can’t believe I’m the only one who didn’t hook up while we were here.
欧洲真是天下 最糟糕的地方啊
Europe is officially the worst country on Earth.
我理解
I know.
我想怎么着也能在 欧洲疯狂地爽一下吧
I thought I’d at least get to have some crazy European sex.
你说啥?
What?
– 斯科特我得走了 – 好的
– Scott, I have to go. – OK.
船要开了
My boat is leaving.
简直不能相信 你一直找到这儿
I still can’t believe you came all the way here,
只是为了我
just for me.
怎么说呢? 我只是很不可思议
What can I say? I’m very unpredictable.
别忘了给我写信啊斯科特
Keep writing to me, Scott, OK?
没问题我会的
Yeah, I will.
– 走了 – 再见
– Go. – Bye.
好耶 好耶 好耶
Yes! Yes! Yes!
伙计们 真高兴这趟旅行咱们能在一起
Hey, guys, I’m so glad we got to take this trip together.
这是我最幸福的时光
This was the best time of my life.
打搅
Excuse me.
你就是那个在梵蒂冈 给我当导游的年轻人?
You’re the young man who gave me that tour of the Vatican, aren’t you?
– 这个我非常抱歉 – 我只想谢谢你
– Listen, I’m very sorry… – I just wanted to thank you.
虽然有些神经兮兮但 你是我见过的
You were the most knowledgeable,albeit idiosyncratic,
最博学的导游
tour guide I’ve ever had.
过奖了
Thanks.
但实际上我不是个导游
But I’m not actually a tour guide.
我只是把Frommer旅游 指南读得烂熟而已
I’ve just read Frommer’s enough to have it memorized.
而且我还加入了些Frommer也不知道的东西
Although I threw in a few things Frommer’s didn’t know about.
你乐意把它们都加进来吗?
How would you like to add them?
我不明白?
Excuse me?
那本旅游指南是我写的
That’s my guidebook.
我是Frommer本人
I’m Arthur Frommer.
太神奇了
It’s amazing!
Frommer要出资让我去 参观欧洲的每一处博物馆和城♥堡♥
Frommer’s is going to pay me to see every museum and cathedral in Europe.
听起来很爽啊
That sounds so exciting…
对你而言
for you.
既然你还要在这逗留 一段时间我想
I figured, since you’re going to be staying,
这个你兴许用得上
you might need this.
– 一次性相机 – 没错
– A disposable camera. – That’s right.
多谢斯科特
Thanks, Scotty.
这个礼物我也出了钱的耶
That’s from both of us.
哈罗 沃尔特先生
Hello, Mr. Walters.
知道了
I see.
被炒了? 诶我
Fired? Well, l…
如果这是你的意思 我理解我只不过
Well, if that’s what you want,I understand. I just…
再见先生
goodbye, sir.
他们终于逮到你了是吗?
They had to catch you eventually, right?
– 非也他们炒掉了汉弗莱 – 闭嘴
– No, they fired Humphrey. – Shut up!
我升迁到了他的职位 还加了薪水
I got his office and a raise.
不会吧
No!
从罗马飞往克利夫兰的341航♥班♥
Flight 341 from Rome to Cleveland…
伙计们
That’s you guys.
– 飞行愉快 – 过来抱抱
– Have a good flight, everybody. – Come here.
好运
Be good.
哦好的
Oh! OK…
– 库珀飞行愉快 – 好运
– Cooper, have a good flight. – Be good.
多谢
Thanks.
我要上了
I’m on it.
这里还算欧洲是吧
This still counts as Europe, right?
奥伯林大学三个月后
米卡小亲亲
Dear Mieke,
希腊真是不可思议
Greece sounds incredible.
今天我刚搬进了新宿舍
I just moved into my dorm room today,
要到圣诞假期才能见你 我都等不及了
but I can’t wait to see you over Christmas break.
下次我会直飞柏林
This time I think I’ll fly to Berlin direct.
– 喂? – 嘿老兄这学校如何?
– Hello? – Hey, buddy, how’s college?
我也刚到 我的室友 还没现身呢
I just got here. My roommate hasn’t even showed up yet.
你们这些变♥态♥的医学院 预科生都住在一起吗?
Do they room all you pre-med geeks together?
我还不确定是不是 医学院预科呢
I’m not sure I’m going pre-med.
我正考虑主修德语呢
I’m thinking about majoring in German.
德语? 我有个好点子
German? I’ve got a better idea.
你怎么不去主修一门 如何不再娘娘腔?
Why don’t you major in not being such a woman?
嗯詹妮还好吗?
So, how’s Jenny?
詹妮 你指哪个?
Jenny… Jenny who?
我认识一打叫詹妮的妞 她们全都
I know a lot of ladies named Jenny, they’re all…
嘿斯科特还好吧?
Hey, Scotty, what’s up?
嗨詹妮
Hi, Jenny!
杰米给Frommer打工还顺利吧?
How’s Jamie doing with Frommer?
喔不会吧
Oh, no.
稍等
Hold on.
你丫过来机器佬
Come here, robot!
库珀别再闹了
Cooper, not again!
别挂好像是我的 新室友
Hold on, this could be my new roommate.
这厮长啥样?
What’s the freak look like?
长得像龟♥头♥还是很酷? 最好别酷过我

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