功夫熊猫

A splinter.
你就是那个传说中的”龙武士”?
So you’re the legendary Dragon Warrior?
– 我想是吧 – 错
– I guess so. – Wrong!
你不是也不可能是龙武士除非
You are not the Dragon Warrior. You will never be the Dragon Warrior until…
除非你学会了那龙轴里的秘密
…you have learned the secret of the Dragon Scroll.
那我怎么上去呢
So how does this work?
你有梯子或者蹦床或者
Do you have a ladder or a trampoline or…?
你想的太简单了 我会把那无限力量的秘密
You think it’s that easy? That I’ll just hand you the secret
– 就这么交给你? – 不 我…
– to limitless power? – No I…
一个人必须先达到功夫的最高境界
One must first master the highest level of kung fu.
而像你这样的某人是不可能了
And that is impossible if that one is someone like you.
像我这样
Someone like me?
没错 你瞧瞧 你这肥臀 松弛的臂
Yes look at you! This fat butt! Flabby arms!
啊 这些赘肉可都娇贵的很呢
Those are sensitive in the flabby parts.
还有这滑天下之大稽的大肚皮
And this ridiculous belly.
还有 一点儿也不讲卫生
And utter disregard for personal hygiene.
嘿 积点口德 这么说可有点不耐听
Now wait a minute. That’s uncalled for.
别站这么近 口臭都出来了
Don’t stand that close. I can smell your breath.
听着 乌龟大♥师♥说我是….
Listen Oogway said I was…
啊 巫师指 别用巫师指
The WuXi Finger Hold. Not the WuXi Finger Hold!
哦 你知道这个指法
Oh you know this hold?
第三王朝时 巫师大♥师♥发明的
Developed by Master WuXi in the Third Dynasty.
那你一定知道 一旦弯下小指会发生什么了
Then you know what happens when I fleX my pinky.
– 不 不要 – 你知道最难办的是什么吗?
– No no! – You know the hardest part of this?
就是清理你的尸骨残骸
The hardest part is cleaning up afterwards.
好吧 好吧 不要激动
OK OK take it easy.
那仔细听着 熊猫
Now listen closely panda.
乌龟也许选了你 可当我找上你
Oogway may have picked you but when I’m through with you
我向你保证 你会希望 他选的不是你! 清楚了吗
I promise you you’re going to wish he hadn’t! Are we clear?
清楚了 清楚了 太清楚了
Yeah we’re clear. We’re so clear.
很好 呵呵
Good.
我都按耐不住 就等着开始了
I can’t wait to get started.
– 我们开始吧 – 等等
– Let’s begin. – Wait wait wait.
什么?
What?
– 现在? – 是的 现在!
– Now? – Yes now.
除非你认为了不起的乌龟错了 而你也不是”龙武士”
Unless the great Oogway was wrong and you are not the Dragon Warrior.
好吧
Oh OK well…
我不知道我能不能.. 把那些招式都比划出来
I don’t know if I can do all of those moves.
不试试 又怎么能知道呢
Well if we don’t try we’ll never know will we?
是啊 但能不能从更合适我这个层次的开始
Yeah it’s just maybe we can find something more suited to my level.
那你的层次又是什么呢?
What level is that?
你知道…我不是大♥师♥
Well I’m not a master but…
不如从零级开始 零级
…let’s just start at zero. Level zero.
不 从来没有零级的说法
No. There is no such thing as level zero.
– 嘿 也许我可以从那开始 – 那个?
– Maybe I can start with that. – That?
我们用这训练孩子 天热的时候还用来顶着门
We use that for training children and propping the door open when it’s hot.
可要是你坚持的话
But if you insist…
喔 是”盛怒五杰”!
The Furious Five!
你们可比功夫公仔大多了 除了你 螳螂 你还是那么大
You’re bigger than your action figures. EXcept you Mantis. You’re the same.
开始吧 熊猫 让我们看看你的能耐
Go ahead panda. Show us what you can do.
你们就在这看我打? 还是我应该等你们都回去再开始…
Are they gonna watch or should I wait till they get back to work?
出招
Hit it.
好吧 我才刚吃完东西 所以还在消化
OK yeah. I mean I just ate. So I’m still digesting.
所以我的功夫可能不像晚些那么好
So my kung fu might not be as good as… later on.
快出招!
Just hit it.
好吧
All right.
你算老几啊?你算个屁 有我在这儿
What you got? You got nothing ’cause I got it right here.
你找我朋友的茬? 等着找死吧
You picking on my friends? Get ready to feel thunder.
看我佛山无影脚 你没辙了吧?
I’m coming at you with crazy feet.
我移型幻影 你看不见 看不见
Come on. I’m a blur. You’ve never seen bear style.
你就知道螳臂
You’ve only seen praying mantis.
猴拳
Or monkey style.
金蛇狂舞袭击你
Or I could come at you snickety-snake.
你能出招吗?!
Would you hit it!
好吧 好吧
All right. All right.
再来一次 重点打
Why don’t you try again? A little harder.
怎样…啊
How’s that?
疼死我了!
That hurts.
这比我想得可简单多了
This will be easier than I thought.
我感到有点想吐
I’m feeling a little nauseous!
他们太难了
Those are hard!
我的命根子
My tenders.
我表现如何
How did I do?
算得上零级了
There is now a level zero.
– 没话可说了 – 别不承认
– There’s no words. – No denying that.
我不明白乌龟大♥师♥在想什么
What was Master Oogway thinking?
那可怜的孩子 差点自送黄泉
The poor guy’s gonna get himself killed.
他太”无敌”了!
He is so mighty!
“龙武士”从天而降坐在火球上
The Dragon Warrior fell out of the sky on a ball of fire!
举手投足 地动山摇!
When he walks the very ground shakes!
本以为乌龟大♥师♥会选一个会功夫的
One would think Master Oogway would choose someone who knew kung fu.
没错 起码是一个能摸到脚趾头的
Yeah or could at least touch his toes.
至少也要能看到自己的脚吧
Or even see his toes.
好吧
OK.
很好
Great.
嗨 你还没睡啊
Hi. You’re up.
现在醒了
I am now.
我只是
I was just…
不简单的一天哈
Some day huh?
功夫可够累人的哈 你二头肌酸不?
That kung fu stuff is hard work right? Are your biceps sore?
今天已经是又长又失望的一天了 所以
I’ve had a long and rather disappointing day so…
我差不多也该睡觉了
Yeah I should probably get to sleep now.
– 是是 当然 – 谢谢
– Yeah yeah yeah. Of course. – OK thanks.
只是 我可是你们的超级粉丝
It’s just… Man I’m such a big fan!
卫平河战役 你们表现得太厉害了
You guys were amazing at the Battle of Weeping River.
敌人千倍于你们 你们毫无退意 你们只是
Outnumbered a thousand to one but you didn’t stop. You just…
哦 不好意思哦
Sorry about that.
听着 你不属于这儿
Look you don’t belong here.
呃 我知道 你没错
I know. I know. You’re right.
我没有… 我只是…
I don’t have… I just…
我一生都梦想…
My whole life I dreamed of…
不 我指你不属于”这儿” 我指这个房♥间 这是我的房♥间
No I meant you don’t belong here. I mean in this room. This is my room.
鹤儿产权所有
Property of Orane.
哦 好的 确实 确实
OK. Right right.
那么…你想睡觉了?
So you want to get to sleep.
– 是的 – 我妨碍你了
– Yeah. – I’m keeping you up.
明天还有要事呢
We got big things tomorrow.
好吧 你很彪悍! 我就说这么多 拜拜
All right. You’re awesome. Last thing I’m gonna say. Bye-bye.
你刚说什么?
What was that?
我什么都没说
I didn’t say anything.
好的 晚安
OK. All right. Good night.
好梦!
Sleep well.
貌似有点尴尬
That seemed a little awkward.
虎妞大♥师♥! 没想吵醒你
Master Tigress! I didn’t mean to wake you.
– 你不属于这里! – 是 当然
– You don’t belong here. – Yeah of course.
这是你的房♥间
This is your room.
我的意思是 你不配待在翡翠宫
I mean you don’t belong in the Jade Palace.
你让功夫蒙羞
You’re a disgrace to kung fu and if you have
如果你对我们 还有我们的事业存有敬重
any respect for who we are and what we do
明早前 你就该走人
you will be gone by morning.
超级粉丝哦
Big fan!
看来你找到了神秘的天堂智慧桃树啊
I see you have found the Sacred Peach Tree of Heavenly Wisdom.
这就是那棵树? 抱歉我以为它就是棵普通桃树
Is that what this is? Sorry. I thought it was just a regular peach tree.
我能理解 你不开心的时候就会狂吃东西
I understand. You eat when you are upset.
不开心? 我没不开心啊 什么让你认为我不开心了?
Upset? I’m not upset. What makes you think I’m upset.
那你为什么不开心呢?
So why are you so upset?
我可能是功夫史上最烂的
I probably sucked more today than anyone in the history of kung fu.
中国史上最烂的 烂人史上也是最烂的!
In the history of China. In the history of sucking!
可能吧
Probably.
看看”盛怒五杰”! 你该看看 他们对我恨之入骨啊!
And the Five! Man you should’ve seen them! They totally hate me.
一点不假