仔细想想
I mean, when you think about it,
他故意让你难堪 对你实在很不公平
it was actually really unfair of him to embarrass you like that.
你搞清楚 我并没有觉得难堪
Just to be clear, I’m not embarrassed.
我和约翰之间确实有问题
Listen, John and I may have our problems,
但至少他在设法去弥补
but at least he tried.
我不想再和你聊下去了
You know what? I don’t feel like talking to you about this.
你去哪
Where are you going?
打车回家
Taking a cab. I’m going home.
终于能放了
Finally.
往下看
Down here.
我发誓没往浴巾里面看
Not looking up your towel. Swear to God.
真的没看 什么都没看到
Not looking up your towel. Not looking at your funny business.
泰迪 你来这干嘛
Ted, what are you doing here?
我想和你谈谈
I need to talk to you.
如果你是来为约翰说好话的…
Listen, if you’re here to fight John’s battles for him. . .
你先听我说好吗
Look, just let me talk first, all right?
我说完后随便你怎么说
And then you can say whatever you want.
约翰真的很爱你
Look, John loves you very much,
他爱你胜过一切
more than anything in the world,
你走了以后他心都碎了
and he’s falling to fucking pieces without you.
他知道是他搞砸了一切
He knows he screwed up huge
不过相信我 那不全是他的错
but you’ve got to believe me, it wasn’t all his fault.
那晚在雷克斯家是我让他甩了你来找我
I told him to bail on you that night at Rex’s and he said, “No.”
他拒绝了
He said “No,” He was going to
他说要和你待在一起 是我拽他过来的
stay there with you, and I twisted his arm, Lori.
所以求你了 再给他一次机会
So, if you just give him one more chance
我发誓我会离开 永远不再回来
I promise I will leave and I’ll never come back.
他将完完全全属于你
All right? He’ll be all yours.
泰迪 条件很诱人
Ted, that’s a really nice offer,
但我不想让你这么做
but I don’t want you to do that.
这是我和约翰之间的事
This is between John and me
而且我不觉得还有挽回的余地
and I don’t think it can be fixed.
那全是因为我
Yeah, because of me!
劳里 你想让他变成一个男人
Look, Lori, you want him to be a man.
但只要他放不下他的泰迪熊
But as long as he’s got his teddy bear,
他永远都是个小男孩
he’s always going to be a boy.
他现在在查理斯酒吧等你
He’s waiting down at Charlie’s right now.
如果你现在过去和他谈谈
So, if you go down there and just talk to him
你回来前我就会离开
I’ll be gone when you get back.
永远离开
Forever.
你会发现
And, you’ll see,
他再也不会怕打雷了
he’ll never be scared of thunder again.
米狮龙浓缩托斯卡纳甜橙葡萄柚
“Michelob Ultra Tuscan Orange Grapefruit.”
美国人都他妈疯了
My God, America is imploding.
你好啊 泰迪
Hi, Ted.
我靠
Fuck.
劳里
Lori, what. . .
你来这儿干什么
What are you doing here?
你得谢谢泰迪
You can thank Ted.
我能坐会儿吗
Should I sit?
当然 请坐吧
Yeah, if you want.
工作怎么样 一切都顺利吗
So, work’s good? Everything good, there?
是啊 工作还不错
Yeah. Yeah, work’s good.
我想我们可以这样闲聊一整天
I guess we can’t make small talk all day, huh?
如果你不介意 那我就对你说说心里话
If it’s okay with you, I just want to say what I want to say.
其实我可以坐在这里向你道歉
I could sit here and tell you I’m sorry,
那是个误会
it was a huge misunderstanding,
我愿意为你改变一切
and I’m ready to change,
但我觉得你不想听这些废话
but I don’t think you want to hear any of that crap.
所以我也不想再劝你回到我身边了
I’m not going to try to get you to take me back.
我凭什么让你回来
Why would you?
我一直不是个称职的男友
I’ve been a really shitty boyfriend for the last four years.
我配不上你
I don’t deserve you.
我知道我一直没有认真对待我们的恋爱
I know I didn’t take our relationship seriously but, Lori,
但是我真的爱你胜过一切
I do love you more than life itself.
我就是想…好聚好散
All I want is. . . I just want to end on good terms.
算是我欠你的
I owe that to you.
我想让你幸福 你也应该得到幸福
I want you to be happy. You deserve that.
我只是希望 我们还能做朋友
And I just hope that maybe we can still be friends.
谢谢你的坦诚
Thank you for being so honest.
我说完了
That’s pretty much it.
谢谢你能来
Thanks for coming by.
看出来了吧
Yeah, as you can see
你早就是我们家的一员了
you’ve been a part of our family for quite some time.
欢迎回家
Welcome home.
说来挺有意思
Yeah, it’s kind of funny, actually.
我家也有好多你们的照片
I got a lot of pictures of you guys at my house.
他现在是我的了吗 爸爸
Is he all mine, Daddy?
是的 我的小宝贝 他属于你了
Yes, he is, my little winner. Yes, he is.
泰迪 你来的正是时候
Ted, you’ve arrived at a lucky time.
快到劳勃的游戏时间了
It’s almost Robert’s play hour.
我想你们家没有PS3吧
Yeah, I’m guessing you guys don’t have a PS3.
估计你们还在玩
I’m guessing you’re more
带着假毛的木马什么的
of a “Wooden horse with a wig” Kind of family.
看吧 有个木马
Yeah, see, there’s the guy.
泰迪 现在你属于劳勃了 听他的好吗
Now, Ted, you belong to Robert now, okay? You do as he says.
你就对这种绑♥架♥置之不理吗
You think you’re just going to get away with a kidnapping?
你是怎么给你孩子做榜样的…
That’s a nice fucking example you’re setting…
抱歉 对不起
Sorry. Sorry.
泰迪你知道吗 当我还是个孩子
You know, Ted, when I was a little boy,
我在电视上看见你
I saw you on television.
我觉得你是我这辈子
And I thought you were the most amazing,
见过的最完美的东西
most wonderful thing I’d ever seen. Ever.
我问我老爸
And I asked my dad if I
能不能也给我一只会说话的泰迪熊
could have a magical little teddy bear, too.
他说不行
And he said, “No.”
剩下的故事你发邮件给我好吗
Can you just email me the rest of this story?
我心都碎了
And I was so heartbroken.
我发誓如果有一天我有了儿子
And I promised myself that if I ever had a son,
我永远不会对他说不
I would never, ever, ever say no to him.
永远都不会
Ever.
也许不让他多吃士力架没什么坏处
Maybe “No” To a Snickers bar every once in a while wouldn’t hurt.
爸爸 我和泰迪会成为好朋友吗
Me and Ted are going to be best friends, Daddy.
你们会的 我的小宝贝
Yes, you are, my little chipmunk.
好好玩
Happy playtime.
卧了个大槽
Jesus fucking Christ!
我有一次就这么说话
I said a bad word one time.
我爸爸为此惩罚了我
Daddy punished me for it.
这故事不错 我好像身临其境
That’s a great story. I felt like I was there.
老爸教训了我
Daddy gave me an ouch.
现在换我教训你了
Now, I have to give you an ouch.
好吧 你赢了 我听你的
All right, kid, you win. We’ll do it your way.
你想怎样 想玩游戏吗
What do you want to do? You want to play a game?
游戏时间就得用来玩游戏
It’s playtime, right? We’ll play a game.
好吧 我们来玩游戏
Yeah, I want to play a game.
好吧 我们…
Good, good. Let’s see. How about we…
我们捉迷藏怎么样
How about we play a little game of hide and seek?
我超爱捉迷藏 我来藏
I love hide and seek. I’ll hide.
等等
Now, hang on a sec, there.
你老爸教你要懂礼貌 对吧小肥猪
Your dad likes you to show good manners. Right, Tubby McFat-Fuck?
好吧 你先藏
Okay. You hide first.
很好 棒极了
Great. Fantastic.
数到100 然后来找我 好吗
Okay, now you count to 100, and then you try to find me, okay?
玩这个之前要洗手吗
Do I need to wash my hands before I play this game?
不用 这算哪门子问题 直接数吧
No. That’s a weird fucking question. No, just start counting.
1 2
One, two,
3 4 5
three, four, five,
不许偷看 耍赖是小狗
No peeking, now, or you’ll get kid cancer.
8 9 10
Eight, nine, ten,
11 12 13…
eleven, twelve, thirteen…

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