我为玛丽狂

So when you say killer. you mean…
-对 杀人凶手 -的确被判刑的凶手
-He’s a murderer. Yeah. -Like, an actual convicted murderer?
他杀了人 真离谱
He killed people. I know. it’s crazy.
-他坐过牢 -对 在波士顿
-And. what. did he ever go to jail. or he’s…? -Yeah, in Boston.
-我不知道他坐了多久 -他出狱了
-He spent… I don’t know how long. -He got out?
明摆着 当局竟放他出来
Well, it’s obvious. The system sucks.
我还吻过他
The guy’s walking the streets. I’m kissing him.
对 除接吻外 没做过其他事吧
Right, but you didn’t do anything else, right?
-什么事 -我是说你没有…
-What? -I mean. you didn’t….
-没有 没有 -那就好
-No, no, no. -No, okay.
-想起来都吓人 真是…-不 我是说…
-God, I couldn’t live with myself. -No, I mean…
只与他逛过几次街
I only went out with him a couple times.
但一想起…
but, you know, just the thought of that….
我不应让你卷入这事 很抱歉
I shouldn’t be putting this all on you. I’m sorry.
-我们这么多年没见面 -不会 我真的很难过
-We haven’t seen each other in so long. -No, it’s just I feel really bad.
不想再谈那些变♥态♥佬 谈谈你吧
I’m tired of talking about stalkers. Let’s talk about you.
你没事吧
Are you okay? Yeah?
-要不要来点水 -不用 我没事
-Do you want some water? -No, I’m good.
然后到94年 我在社区学院呆了一学期
So then in ’94, I went back to Dade Community College for a semester.
沃尔玛的收银员工作泡汤了
And when the Wal-Mart cashier job fell through,
我就开始外送北♥京♥匹萨
I hooked up with Peking Pizza.
嘿 伙计 来几瓶啤酒
Hey, Cat, how about a couple of brews over here, man?
给我滚出去
Hey, get the fuck out of here.
我跟说过20次 这里不欢迎你
I told you 20 times you’re not welcome here anymore.
嘿 嘿 哪来那么大火气
Hey, hey, hey. you. where’s that coming from?
你总是赖账
It’s coming from you always skipping out on your tab.
嘿 我带现金了
Hey, I got cash.
好吧 诺姆
Okay. Norm.
你付钱 我就倒酒
You pay. I’ll pour. In that order.
-翠丝 你那对宝宝好吗 -去死吧 诺姆
-Hey, Tracy, how are the twins? -Fuck you, Norm.
我喜欢你说粗话时的样子
That’s it, I like it when you talk dirty to me. man.
给你钱
Here you go, big guy.
得了吧 还不够呢
Come on. cough it up. chompers.
谢谢
Thanks.
你是怎么遇到玛丽的
So how the hell did you meet Mary?
这倒是傻人有傻福
It was just dumb luck, really.
有一次我给她送馅饼 她穿睡衣来开门
I delivered a pie to her and she answered the door in her nightgown…
哇 我对她一见钟情
…and, wow. that was it for me.
晚上回家后 我刮了胡子 一周后…
I went home that night, shaved my beard. and a week later…
去她诊所治背伤
…I’m laid out in her office with a broken back.
背伤 怎么弄伤的
Broken back? How’d you do that?
朋友用棒球棍打我
A friend. Baseball bat.
牛X
Touche.
再来一个
You want another one?
好的
Sure. Yeah. Hey, Docky.
-大哥 再来两支惹味粟米 -收到 立即送到
-Couple more nitrate-sicles. please. -Two corn dogs coming up.
这种棒棒零食通常肉都不多
You know, I don’t think that they have enough meats on sticks.
说实话 棒棒糖就很多 对吗
No, seriously. If you think about it. they have plenty of sweets.
有棒棒糖 雪糕批 雪条
They have lollipops. they have Fudgsicles. they have Popsicles…
但肉造的棒棒不多
…but they don’t have any other meat on sticks.
-棒棒上肉多的真的很少见 -的确少见
-Yes, you don’t see many meats on sticks. -Absolutely not.
你知道我喜欢什么吗 我更喜欢肉筒
You know what I’d like to see? I’d like to see more meats in a cone.
你想不到吧
You don’t hardly ever see that.
我想的这种肉筒一定会大受欢迎
You know. that’s an idea I think is waiting to pop.
用大型雪糕筒装满…
Just like a nice. you know. nice. big, oversize waffle-cone…
-切碎的肉肝 -切碎的肉肝
-…stuffed full of chopped liver. -Chopped liver.
完全正确
Exactly.
-真遗憾 你不住在这里 -是吗
-Too bad you don’t live here, Ted. -Yeah?
我们有很多共同爱好
Yeah. We have a lot in common.
那么 你是否…
Well, you know, maybe….
想过搬回罗得岛住
Have you ever thought about maybe moving back up to Rhode lsland?
我也想过 但我在这里很好
I thought about it, but I got too much of a good thing going on here.
工作不错 同事很好 还有沃伦
I got a great practice. I like the people I work with. and Warren.
不如你搬来这里 与我结婚
You know, maybe you should just. like, more down here and marry me.
-你是作家 -是的 还未成名
-So you’re a writer. -Yeah, well, I’m trying to be.
做作家的好处 就是可到处写作
Well, the good thing about writing is you can do it anywhere.
对
That’s true.
你呢 这些年来你怎怎么会仍然单身
How about you? How did you manage to stay single all these years?
我是双性恋 很多人不容易理解
Well, I’m bisexual. so that’s hard for a lot of guys to understand.
-是嘛 -你抽这个
-Well… -You gonna smoke that?
我看过报导 很多女人…
You know, I read somewhere that most women…
若坦白说出来 都倾向…
…if you really ask them honestly, have tendencies towards….
-我是说 人人都有点…-我刚才是与你开玩笑
-I mean. everybody has a bit of… -Ted, I’m fucking with you.
好
Yeah.
那个跟尾的狗♥杂♥种♥
Stalking motherfucker.
我知道 真恶心
I know. It sickens me.
其实有一次我差点结了婚
Actually. I did almost get married once.
发生什么事
What happened?
他确实不错
Well, he was a really great guy.
他在北部居住…
He lived up north, and….
来吧 我们走
Come on. let’s go.
到这里
Here you go.
等等 有多少粒
Wait. How many is this?
-四粒 -四粒
-Four. -Four?
那小狗可能吃不消…
That seems like an awful lot of speed to give one little pooch.
-真的不会毒死它 -没说过不会毒死它
-Are you sure it won’t kill him? -I never said that.
宝贝
Baby.
很好 很好
Good. good. good.
后来…婚事拉倒 此后我们就互不联♥系♥
And so then it was over. We really haven’t spoken since.
听你这样说 他确是近乎完美
Wow. sounds like he was almost perfect.
几乎
Almost.
想上去看体育一周吗
Hey, you wanna go upstairs and watch SportsCenter?
我想先给你留个好印象然后回去
You know, I think I’m just gonna quit while I’m ahead.
好印象还不够 泰德
You’re not that far ahead, Ted.
玛格达
Magda.
你在干什么
What are you doing?
宝贝 只是做点清洁工作
Hi. hon. Just straightening up.
放下
Put that down.
玛格达
Magda.
乖乖 多谢
Thanks, doll.
玛格达
Magda. Magda.
宝贝 巴夫呢
Honey, where is Puffy?
它很麻烦 我关它在浴室里
He was being a pest. I put him in the bathroom.
真的
Really?
泰德
Ted?
帮个忙好吗 你是否可以把小狗放出来
Can you do me a favor? Would you mind letting the dog out?
我想我得和玛格达谈一谈
I think I should have a talk with Magda here.
当然可以
Sure. yeah.
-到那边 -哪儿
-over here. -Where?
-就这里 -很好 怎么了
-Here. Fine. -Good. What’s going on?
还不够干净
More cleaning.
-你今晚喝了多少咖啡 -没喝
-How much coffee did you have tonight? -None.
玛丽
Mary?
巴夫是什么狗
What kind of dog is Puffy?
-小猎狗 -小猎狗 就像
-Border terrier. -Border terrier. Like Benji.
嘿
Hey.
你就是那个吵吵闹闹的小狗狗
Are you the little guy making all that big noise?
哦 泰德
Oh, Ted!
巴夫 停下
Puffy. stop it!
来点这个
Take a little bit of this.
巴夫
Puffy. Puffy.
巴夫
Puffy!
就这么多本事
That’s all you got. pal?
泰德
Ted.
不
No, no, no.
巴夫
Puffy!
巴夫 巴夫 巴夫
Puffy! Puffy! Puffy!
你怎么知道我没事
How do you know that I’m right?
我不知道
Well, you know. No, I don’t.
-来粒葡萄 -葡萄 好
-You want a grape? -A grape? Sure.
-准备好了 -是的