我宁愿像僧侣那样隐居
I’d prefer to be cloistered up like the monks.
像僧侣那样可以随意出入妓院
Free to go to the brothel, just like the monks,
如果我想的话 还可以去买♥♥酒
or to the wine shop, if my heart chooses to!
我画的《夜间咖啡馆》
In my painting of The Night Cafe,
想表达的意思是在咖啡馆
I’ve tried to express the idea that the cafe is the place
你可以堕落 发狂
where you can ruin yourself, go mad,
犯罪
commit crimes.
随信寄去一幅方形的画 画的是星空
Included here, a square canvas, The Starry Sky –
我还是点着煤气灯在晚上画的呢
actually painted at night, under a gas-lamp.
田野是淡紫色的
The fields are mauve.
小镇则是蓝紫相间的
The town is blue and violet.
前景里有一对彩色的恋人的身影
Two small coloured figures of lovers in the foreground.
他为人古怪
He’s an odd fellow, but
却又如此天才
what a head he has on him.
真令人羡慕
It’s enviable.
如果我靠作画就足以维持生计
I shall count myself very happy
我将知足常乐
if I manage to work enough to earn my living.
我一想到我画了这么多画
It makes me very worried when I tell myself
却一幅都没卖♥♥出去
that I’ve done so many paintings and drawings
就让我十分烦恼
without ever selling any.
1888年10月23日 高更终于到了
Gauguin finally arrived on the 23rd October 1888.
鲜活的蓝绿色 就好像海洋在冒泡
Turquoise, a vibrant, alive turquoise, as if the sea was bubbling.
几天后 两位艺术家去了
A few days later, the two artists set off
附近位于阿利斯康的天主教墓地
for the nearby Roman cemetery at Les Alyscamps,
他们打算并肩而坐 画同样的主题
intent on depicting the same subject, side by side.
文森特把他的所见所感都画了下来
Vincent painted what he saw and what he felt,
背景里的工厂被框在树里
the industrial scene in the background is framed by the trees.
相比之下 高更则无暇写实
By contrast, Gauguin had little time for reality.
他一如既往地 凭记忆去画
He painted, as a rule, from memory.
在高更慢慢地有条不紊地
And in the time it took Gauguin to complete this picture,
完成这幅画期间
slowly and methodically,
文森特 则快马加鞭 又画了两幅
Vincent, at top speed, had knocked out two more.
高更在有意无意间
Gauguin, in spite of himself and in spite of me,
让我多少认识到 是时候做些改变了
has proved to me a little it was time to change things a bit.
我现在凭记忆作画
I’m now working from memory,
而我之前的习作也能派上用场
and all my earlier studies will still be useful for that work,
因为他们会让我记起
as they will remind me
我之前看到的东西
of former things that I have seen.
而其中之一就是他反复画的主题
And one of these was a subject he painted again and again,
《播种者》
The Sower.
现在 高更的影响已经显而易见了
Now, the influence of Gauguin can clearly be seen.
用硕大的柠檬黄的圆盘作为太阳
Immense lemon yellow disk for the sun,
天空是黄绿色的 飘着粉色的云彩
green-yellow sky with pink clouds.
田野是紫色的
The field is violet,
播种者和树则是普鲁士蓝的
the sower and the tree, Prussian blue.
但完全凭记忆作画对文森特来说很难
But Vincent found it difficult painting purely from memory,
所以他很快又回到画放在他眼前的物体
and soon returned to subjects directly in front of him.
最近画的两幅习作很有意思
The last two studies are rather funny canvases,
一把用木头和草制♥作♥的黄色椅子
a wooden and straw chair all yellow
背靠墙 放在红砖地上
on red tiles against a wall.
另一幅画的是高更的扶手椅 红绿相间
Then Gauguin’s armchair, red and green,
画的是晚上的样子
night effect.
座椅上放着两本小说和一只蜡烛
On the seat, two novels and a candle.
我在帆布上用厚涂颜料的画法画的
On sailcloth, in thick impasto.
可没过多久
But it wasn’t long before
两位艺术家之间的关系就紧张起来
tensions developed between the two artists.
高更的画作在巴黎热销
Gauguin’s work was selling well in Paris –
文森特却还是找不到买♥♥主
Vincent still couldn’t find buyers.
他又开始酗酒
He started to drink heavily again.
他的行为越来越古怪
His behaviour was becoming odder and odder,
仅过了八周
and after just eight weeks,
就惹得高更火冒三丈
Gauguin became increasing exasperated.
我在阿尔勒感到十分不知所措
I feel completely disorientated in Arles.
一切都那么小里小气
I find everything so small
平庸
and mean,
风景和居民都是这样
both the landscape and the people.
总的来说 我和文森特意见相左
In general, Vincent and myself do not see eye to eye,
尤其在绘画方面
particularly on painting.
他很喜欢我的画
He likes my pictures very much,
可我作画的时候
but when I’m painting them,
他却指手画脚 吹毛求疵
he criticises me for this and that.
我和文森特绝对不能和平地共处一室
Vincent and I can absolutely not live side by side without trouble.
1888年12月
In December 1888,
高更画下这幅《正在画向日葵的梵高》
Gauguin painted this, Portrait Of van Gogh painting Sunflowers.
文森特默默地看着 然后说
Vincent looked at it in silence, then said,
“的确是我 但却是疯狂的我”
“It’s me all right, but me gone mad.”
但果真如此吗
But is it?
当我看着这幅画的时候 我根本看不到梵高
When I look at this picture, I don’t see van Gogh at all.
我看到的是高更
I see Gauguin.
在我看来 这就很能说明两个人的关系了
And that seems to me to explain a lot about their relationship.
几天之后 两位艺术家爆发了激烈的争论
A few days later, the two artists got into a heated argument.
他的行为怪诞 让我难以忍♥受
It was so bizarre I couldn’t take it.
他甚至问我 “你到底走不走”
He even asked me, “Are you going to leave?”
我觉得我得一个人出去走走
I felt I must go out alone
呼吸一下空气
and take the air
沿着小路散散步
along some paths
这时就听到后面传来熟悉的脚步声
when I heard behind me a familiar step
急促 快速 不规则
short, quick, irregular.
我立刻转身
I turned around on that instant
文森特向我冲来 手里拿着打开的剃刀
as Vincent rushed towards me, an open razor in hand.
文森特回到黄房♥子
Vincent returned to the Yellow House,
在那里
where,
他用可能正是他拿来吓唬高更的那把剃刀
with perhaps the very same knife that he threatened Gauguin with,
自残左耳
he mutilated his left ear.
1888年12月23日
我倒不想做个疯子
I wouldn’t exactly have chosen madness
可我别无选择
had there been a choice,
不过人得过一次”疯”
but once one has something like that,
就不会再得了
one can’t catch it any more.
我认为他情况有所好转
I find that his condition has improved a little.
阿尔勒医院
菲利克斯·雷伊医生
我认为他没有生命危险了 至少暂时没有了
I don’t believe his life is in danger – for the moment at least.
他胃口挺好
He’s eating quite well
他的体力也足够他撑过病情危险期
and his physical strength enables him to withstand his crises.
我认为他很快就能恢复
My assessment is that he’ll be able to recover in a short time,
同时 构成他性格本质的极端兴奋性
while retaining the extreme excitability that must form
也可得以保留
the essence of his character.
在他的病房♥里
From his hospital room,
文森特画了这幅自画像
Vincent painted this self-portrait,
现在它是世界上最引人注目的艺术作品之一
one of the most arresting works of art in the world.
这里的好处在于大家都是病人
The advantages I have here are that they are all sick.
至少我不会觉得…
And so at least I don’t feel…
孤独
alone.
我沉浸在阅读莎士比亚的作品之中
I’m quite absorbed in reading Shakespeare.
我首先读的是列王传
I’ve first taken the kings series
我已经读过《理查二世》
of which I’ve already read Richard II,
《亨利四世》《亨利五世》
Henry IV, Henry V,
《亨利六世》也读了一部分了
parts of Henry VI.
你读过《李尔王》吗
Have you ever read King Lear?
不过 我想我不该太催促你读这么
But anyway, I think I shan’t urge you too much to read such
戏剧化的故事
dramatic stories?
我读了这些书之后 我…
When after reading them myself I…
我总觉得要去看看草叶
I’m always obliged to go and gaze at a blade of grass
松树枝
pine tree branch,
麦穗
an ear of wheat
来平复心情
to calm myself.
文森特在阿尔勒医院住院期间
Vincent suffered repeated episodes of mental instability
精神不稳定反复发作
whilst in the hospital here in Arles.
但在发病间隙
But in between these fits,
他的健康状况还允许他在艺术中找寻慰藉
he was well enough to find comfort in his art,
他画下了这里庭院和病房♥

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