怎样都行（2009）

你个笨蛋根本没听
That’s not what I’m saying, you imbecile.
天啊 完全曲解我的意思
God, you completely misrepresent my ideas!
真是对牛弹琴
Why am I even bothering talking to such idiots?
-博里斯 冷静 -我很冷静!
– Boris, calm down. – no, don’t tell me to… I am calm.
别因为我们不理解 你就乱指责
Don’t jump on us just because we don’t understand what you’re saying.
我没指责你们
I didn’t jump on you.
我指责的不是基♥督♥教 犹太教
It’s not the idea behind Christianity I’m faulting, or Judaism,
或任何宗教的教义
Or any religion.
而是所谓专业人员的商业化
It’s the professionals who’ve made it into a corporate business.
借上帝之名大捞一笔
There’s big money in the god racket. big money.
-又来了 -我们知道 博里斯
– Here we go. – We know, Boris.
基♥督♥教的基本教义是很好的
Hey, the basic teachings of Jesus are quite wonderful.
和马♥克♥思♥主张的原理一样
So, by the way, is the original intention of Karl Marx. okay?
人人平等 有什么不好的
Hey, what could be bad? everybody should share equally.
对他人 民♥主♥ 政♥府♥都秉持公平原则
Do unto others. Democracy. Government by the people.
这些观点都很好 很好
All great ideas. these are all great ideas,
但有一个致命缺点
But they all suffer from one fatal flaw.
-什么缺点 -对啊 什么缺点
– Which is? – yeah, what’s that?
它们植根于一个错误的观念
Which is they’re all based on the fallacious notion…
认为人性本善
That people are fundamentally decent.
只要有机会改过自新 人们就乐意接受
Give them a chance to do right and they’ll take it.
他们又不是愚昧自私 目光短浅的鼠辈
They’re not stupid, selfish, greedy, cowardly, short-sighted worms.
当然会尽力从善
They do the best they can.
你就自说自话吧
Speak for yourself, man. Speak for yourself.
人们把生活弄得一团糟
All I’m saying is that people make life so much worse than it has to be…
缺少他们的帮助就是一场噩梦
And, believe me, it’s a nightmare without their help.
整体来说 人类是失败的物种
But on the whole, I’m sorry to say, we’re a failed species.
-扯太远了吧 -我还没说完
– I wouldn’t go that far. – Not ed.
乔 所以你才会喜欢那个女人
That’s why this woman you like, Joe,
她从事尸体防腐 满身都是甲醛臭味
So what if she’s an embalmer’s assistant, so she stinks from formaldehyde?
我的天哪 你非得用这种
For christ’s sake, you got to take what little pleasure
毛骨悚然的方式取乐吗
you can find In this chamber of horrors.
甲醛味还好 但她浑身恶臭
A little formaldehyde, okay, but she reeks of it.
博里斯 他们不了解你 讲讲你的故事吧
You know, they don’t know your story. Boris, tell them your story.
我的故事就是 只要不伤害别人 怎样都行
My story is, whatever works. you know, as long as you don’t hurt anybody.
尽力在这个竞争残酷
Any way you can filch a little joy
不可理喻又混乱无序的世间找点乐子
In this cruel, dog-eat-dog, pointless, black chaos. that’s my story.
不 把你的故事告诉他们吧
No. that’s not… tell them the story.
-告诉他们 -对 告诉他们
– Tell them. – Yeah. tell them.
你要我复述一遍 好让他们能听见
You just want me to say it again, so they can hear.
-谁 -他们
– Who? – Them.
-谁 -他们是谁
– Who? – Who’s them?
-有人吗 -在哪里
– You see something out there? – Where?
你个低能儿
What are you? an imbecile?
满影院的观众盯着我们呢
There’s an audience full of people looking at us.
-影院? -他说什么
– An audience? – What’s he talking about?
你觉得有人在看你
You feel you’re being watched.
他们花血汗钱买♥♥票看的
They paid good money for tickets, hard-earned money,
好莱坞那帮蠢材的私家泳池就这么来的
So some moron in hollywood can buy a bigger swimming pool.
好吧 你说有人
You’re saying there are human beings
花钱买♥♥票看我们
Out there who bought tickets to watch us.
我不否认 大多数是冲我来的
Well, mostly they’re interested in me, I have to say.
他们就坐在那 你没看见吗
they’re just sitting there. don’t you see them?
有人吃爆米花 有人伸长脖子盯着屏幕
Some are eating popcorn, some are just staring straight ahead
像尼德兰人一样用嘴喘气
Breathing through their mouths like neanderthals.
你说他们在听你讲故事?
So they’re there to listen to your story?
-异想天开 -绝对的
– Total delusions of grandeur. – Completely.
为什么想听我的事呢
Why would you want to hear my story?
我们认识吗 气味相投吗
Do we know each other? do we like each other?
我马上告诉你 好吧
Let me tell you right off, okay?
我不讨人喜欢 也无魅力可言
I’m not a likeable guy. Charm has never been a priority with me.
如你所知 这也不是热门电影
And just so you know, this is not the feel-good movie of the year.
若你傻乎乎地来寻求安慰
So if you’re one of those idiots who needs to feel good,
那不如去做脚底按♥摩♥
Go get yourself a foot massage.
-妈妈 那人在自言自语 -走 贾斯汀
– Mom, that man’s talking to himself! – Come away, Justin.
有意义吗 没有 一切都是零 虚无
What the hell does it all mean anyhow? nothing. zero. zilch.
但无中又生有
Nothing comes to anything,
喋喋不休的傻子到处都有
And yet there’s no shortage of idiots to babble.
但我还是挺有远见的 我说的是你
Not me. I have a vision. I’m discussing you.
你的朋友 合作伙伴 报纸 电视台
Your friends, your co-workers, your newspapers, the TV.
人人都喜欢夸夸其谈 满口胡言
Everybody’s happy to talk, full of misinformation.
道德 科学 宗教 政♥治♥ 体育 爱情
Morality, science, religion, politics, sports, love.
投资 儿女 健康 天啊
Your portfolio, your children, health. Christ.
如果每天要吃9顿蔬果才能活
If I have to eat nine servings of fruits and vegetables a day to live,
那我情愿不活 我最恨他妈的蔬菜水果了
I don’t want to live. I hate goddamn fruits and vegetables.
还要吃深海鱼肝油 健身 测心电图
And your OMEGA-3’s and the treadmill and the cardiogram
照乳♥房♥♥X光和盆腔B超
And the mammogram and the pelvic sonogram
还有! 结肠镜检!
And, oh, my god, the colonoscopy!
就算这样 终有一天还是要一命呜呼
And with it all, the day still comes when they put you in a box
下一代傻子接着循环
And it’s on to the next generation of idiots
谁会告诉你生活该怎样过呢
Who’ll also tell you all about life and define for you what’s appropriate.
我爸自杀了 因为早报新闻太压抑
My father committed suicide because the morning newspapers depressed him.
你能全怪他吗
And could you blame him?
新闻充斥着恐惧 贪污 愚昧 贫穷…
With the horror and corruption and ignorance and poverty
种族灭绝 艾滋病 全球变暖和恐怖威胁…
And genocide and AIDS and global warming and terrorism
还有纲伦尽丧与暴♥力♥泛滥!
And the family-value morons and the gun morons!
《黑暗之心》的角色库尔茨在结尾说:”太恐怖了”
“the horror”, Kurtz said at the end of “heart of darkness”. “the horror”.
幸亏库尔茨没体验过热带雨林逃生记
Lucky Kurtz didn’t have the times delivered in the jungle,
不然他就知道什么叫恐怖了
Then he’d see some horror.
你又怎样呢
But what do you do?
新闻报道苏丹大屠♥杀♥或校车爆♥炸♥
You read about some massacre in Darfur…
你说:”天哪 太恐怖了” 然后翻页
Or some school bus gets blown up, and you go, “oh, my god, the horror!”
继续看报纸 吃绿色农场的鸡蛋
And then you turn the page and finish your eggs from free-range chickens.
你能做什么呢 你也无能为力
Because what can you do? it’s overwhelming.
我曾尝试自杀
I tried to commit suicide myself.
当然 没死成
Obviously, it didn’t work out.
你爱听这些吗
But why’d you even wanna hear about all this?
家家有本难念的经
Christ, you got your own problems.
你肯定曾为渺茫的希望
I’m sure you’re all obsessed with any
美好的梦想而满心期待
Number of sad little hopes and dreams.
然而沮丧的婚姻继续
Your predictably unsatistying love lives.
失败的事业犹在
Your failed business ventures.
“当初买♥♥了那支股票就好了”
“oh, if only I’d bought that stock!”
“早几年买♥♥那栋房♥子就好了”
“if only I had purchased that house years ago!”
“当初能和她谈恋爱就好了”
“if only I had made a move on that woman”.
惋惜这 懊悔那 得了吧
If this, if that. you know what?
机会一去不再来!
Give me a break with your “could haves” and “should haves”.
正如我妈说的
Like my mother used to say,
“如果你外婆长轮子 我就能当电车了!”
“if my grandmother had wheels, she’d be a trolley car”.
我妈没有轮子 只有静脉曲张
My mother didn’t have wheels. she had varicose veins.
但她生了个天才
Still, the woman gave birth to a brilliant mind.
我得过诺贝尔物理学奖提名
I was considered for a nobel prize in physics.
但没获奖
I didn’t get it.
一切都是政♥治♥游戏 虚荣假誉而已
it’s all politics, just like every other phony honor.
别以为我钉子碰多了就尖酸刻薄
Incidentally, don’t think I’m bitter because of some personal setback.
照这个荒诞粗野的文明标准来看
By the standards of a mindless, barbaric civilization,
我还算幸运
I’ve been pretty lucky.
我娶了个漂亮富婆
I was married to a beautiful woman, who had family money.
多年来一直住在比克曼
For years we lived on Beekman place.
我在哥伦比亚大学教弦理论
I taught at Columbia. string theory.
博里斯 怎么了
What’s the matter, Boris?
我要死了
I’m dying!
怎么了
What is it?
我要死了
I’m dying!
要不要叫救护车
Should I call an ambulance?
现在不用 至少今晚不用 当然迟早要
No! no, not now! no, not tonight! I mean, eventually!
-博里斯 每个人都会死 -真是难以接受
– Boris, everybody dies. – It’s unacceptable!
恐惧症越来越严重了
Your panic attacks are getting more frequent and more intense.
你得继续服药
You have to go back on your medicine.
我才不吃那该死的药呢
I’m not going back on my goddamn medicine.