小姐好白（2004）

4 块钱，有出 5 块的吗？
$4. Do I hear $5?
1,000美金
$1,000.
1,000美金，有人出更高吗？
$1,000. Does anyone wish to go higher?
是的，我出 2,000
Yeah, I got $2,000 right here.
3,000 美金
$3,000.
谁说的？
Who said that?
后面的那个糟老头出 5,000 美金
$5,000 to the dirty geezer in the back.
我肯定没人会出更高了
I’m sure no one will wish to go higher than that…
现在就成交吧
so we can just be done with it now.
10,000 美金
$10,000.
20,000 美金
$20,000.
20,000 美金！第一次，第二次 —
$20,000! Going once, going twice–
50,000 美金，现金！
$50,000. Cash!
好的
Fine.
成交…
Sold…
得主是这位高大的黑人男士
to the big black guy right there.
过来领你的奖吧
Step right up and claim your prize.
我不想和一个傻大个约会
I don’t want to go on a date with Buff Daddy.
过来，宝贝
Come here, baby.
哥们，我的脚疼死了
Dude, my feet are killing me.
除了这个，这种 G 型短裤让我起热痱子
And on top of that, that G-string gave me diaper rash.
我们还要装多久，哥们？ – 就再过几天
How long we got to do this, man? -Just a couple more days.
几天我也受不了了 你知道我老婆是怎样的人吗？
I don’t have a couple of more days. Do you know who my wife is?
这里，听听这个消息 她疯了
Here, listen to this message. She’s losing her mind.
…和另外的女人胡搞！
…with another woman doing what I think you’re doing!
你肯定不想听剩下的
You don’t want to hear the rest.
到这周末，我们就是英雄，一切都会好的
By the end of the weekend, we’ll be heroes and all will be forgiven.
好吧
All right.
你定了什么东西了吗？ – 没有
You order room service? -No.
谁呀？
Who is it?
糟了！这些女的很难缠
Damn! These girls won’t quit.
我们马上就好，来啦，等一下
We’ll be right there. We’re coming. Hang on.
开门！ – 开门
Open up! -Open.
马上
One second.
我们马上就好，等一下
We’ll be right there. Hang on.
冰激凌都要化了！
The ice cream’s melting!
再等等，小姐们！ 我们在刮腿毛，好吗？
Hold tight, girls! We’re just shaving our feet, okay?
在刮毛
And braiding our vaginas.
什么，你们忘了吗？ 轮到你们主持卧谈会了
What, did you guys forget? It’s your turn to host the slumber party.
好的，伙计们 当一个男人处在一段糟糕的关系中…
Okay, you guys. What does it mean…
他很明显喜欢你…
when a guy is in a really bad relationship…
但是他就好象不能和他的女朋友分手…
and it’s really obvious that he wants to be with you…
是什么意思？
but he just can’t seem to break up with his girlfriend?
意思是他只是想玩玩玩你
It means you’re a total booty call.
上帝啊！布莱尼！ – 喔，你也是这么想的
My God! Brittany! -Well, you were thinking it.
喔，你说的
Well, you said it.
你知道，有时候你说话象个男的
You know, sometimes you sound just like a man.
别人也这么说
So I’ve been told.
她是想说，宝贝…
What she means to say, honey…
你也许有点太，就象，主动了
is maybe you’re just making yourself just a little bit too, like, available.
来，哥们
Come on, you guys.
别装得象你们没干过一样
Don’t act like you haven’t done it before.
你知道当你真心喜欢一个人的时候
You know how it is when you really care about someone.
你整天给他们打电♥话♥…
You call them all day long…
因为你就是想知道他们一天过得怎么样…
because you just wanna know how their day is going…
他们想什么，有没有想过你
and what they’re thinking about and if they’re thinking about you.
你一整天都在想怎么样打扮的漂亮一点
You spend all day trying to find the perfect outfit.
你甚至改变发型，就为了他能多看你一眼
You even change your hairstyle just so he’ll take a second look.
但是他们从来不关心
But they never notice.
有时候我想如果我们互换一下位置…
Sometimes I just wish that they could trade places with us…
让他们知道一下这感觉是怎么样的 你知道？
so that they would know how it feels. You know?
啊，我的上帝，喂，梅根的广♥告♥
Oh, my God. Look, it’s Megan’s commercial.
我不会让生殖器疱疹使我慢下来 那就是我为什么使用 Valtrum 了
I won’t let genital herpes slow me down. That’s why I use Valtrum.
喂，你想和我做♥爱♥吗？
Hey. You want to play with me?
当然
Sure.
我不肯定你是否不会
I won’t tell if you won’t.
我很可能完成那部分的 她甚至没有疱疹
I so could have done that part. She doesn’t even have herpes.
好了 – 真的吗？
All done. -Really?
我的天啊！这太棒了
My God! This is so cool.
你知道吗？
You know something?
我想你们前世一定是黑人
I think you might have been black in a previous life.
我是最棒的
Fo’ shizzle, my nizzle.
好了，这个女孩的闲谈足够了，小姐
Okay. Enough of this girls’ talk, ladies.
该是真正享乐的时候了
It’s time for some real fun.
啊，是，那是我所谈论的
Oh, yeah. That’s what I’m talking about.
快点吧，给我们展示一些你的技巧
Come on. Show us some of your skills.
是啊，全部的，学一些你的技巧
Yeah, totally. Learn some of your skills.
实际– – 用它演示，妹妹
Actually– -Go for it, sis.
蒂芙妮是专家 – 是，但你做了录像
Tiffany’s the expert. -Yeah, but you made the video.
快点吧，给我们展示
Come on. Show us.
你们看， 你要做的第一件事是你得…
You see, the first thing you do is you gotta…
这个位置抓住这玩意儿
grab the thing here.
别太紧否则你会感到很硬
Not too tight or you’ll get calluses.
然后你应该用眼睛看那个可爱的受诱者
Then you want to look that little sucker in the eye…
开始：
and go:
“来吧，小家伙
“Come here, little guy.
“来吧，你这小蚯蚓”
“Come here, you little earthworm.”
你喜欢那样吗？ 我从一部爱斯基摩人的XXX学的
You like that? I learned that from an Eskimo porn.
来吧
Come here.
然后我要教你们这帮家伙“深颈”
And then I’m going to teach you guys “The Deep Throat.”
你应该确保从你的咽部 到下巴这段洁净…
You want to make sure the passage is clear all the way from your throat to your chin…
你应该把这玩意儿放到这儿
and you want to place the thing here.
你只想要….
And you just wanna….
啊，对，你喜欢那样吗？你这个小怪物
Oh, yeah. You like that? You little freak.
男人喜欢那样？ – 他们喜欢
Guys like that? -They love it.
另一个他们喜欢的做法是这样
And another thing they love is this.
他们喜欢….
They love….
你们喜欢吗？我给那个取名“香肠在上”
You like it? I call that “The Headbanger.”
你从来不把它放在嘴里吗？ – 当然不
Don’t you ever put it in your mouth? -Never.
别再把它放在嘴里了，那是80年代
Never put it in the mouth. That’s ’80s.
你们或许去买♥♥一个 TransAm 比较好
You might as well go and buy a TransAm.
好的，我决心做了，我想我能做
Okay. I’m ready. I think I can do it.
抓得漂亮
Good catch.
你这样拿这玩意儿和抓…
So you take the thing and you grab it…
但要温柔，不要变硬了，不是很像
but gentle, not to get calluses. Not pretty.
然后你用眼睛直视他并说：
Then you look him dead in the eye and you say:
“棒小伙”
“Good boy.”
你让我感到害怕
You’re scaring me.
然后是香肠在上
And then comes the Headbanger.
对，敲
Yeah. Tap.
干得棒极了
Well done.
好吧，我再让你选一个 卡门·伊莱特还是帕姆·安德森？
All right, I got another one for you. Carmen Electra or Pam Anderson?
简单
Easy.
但是他们都得了传染病
But they both got a yeast infection.
现在就难说了
Now that’s tough.
我选帕姆·安德森 – 你真恶心
I’m going to go with Pam Anderson. -You’re disgusting.
什么？ – 他们得了传染病
What? -They got a yeast infection.
你选哪一个？
Who would you choose?
嘿，葛迈茨，有情况
Hey, Gomez. We got a couple of bogeys.
没时间了 – 喔，快点！
No time. -Oh, come on!
帕姆·安德森，好象你在乎似的
It’s Pam Anderson, like you care.
照一下他们的脸，我们走
Run their faces. Let’s go.
布莱尼·威尔森？ – 对，是我
Brittany Wilson? -Yeah, that’s me.
来抓住她
Let’s get her.
给她带上眼罩！ – 糟糕，这个小姐很厉害
Put the blindfold on her! -Damn, this girl’s strong.
你们是为谁工作的？ – 室内幻想！
Who do you work for? -lntimate Fantasies!
上帝啊，你还好吗？
My God. You need help?
你在干什么呢？ 这是舞男，劳尔和蒂托
What are you doing? Those are the strippers, Raoul and Tito.
舞男？
Strippers?
我以为他们要绑♥架♥我 – 那是他们的工作
I thought they were going to kidnap me. -That’s part of their routine.