to the latest hi-tech trainer,
鞋 一直是世界上的高端话题
shoes have always been top of the world’s agenda.
是个重要话题
It’s a big subject.
很明显 要度过接下来的三四个小时
There’s obviously a hell of a lot to get
是很艰难的事
through in the next three or four hours,
那我们就从基础开始
so let’s start off with some of the basics.
鞋是什么
What is a shoe?
这是个热门话题 讨论会很激烈
Well, it’s a hot topic and no doubt that debate will rage on.
不过我发现做事最好要
But I find it’s best to take things…
一步一步来
..one step at a time.
修鞋匠
Cobblers.
注意我的话 我们在一个鞋匠的工作间
Mind my language, but we are in the cobbler’s workshop…
我习惯称之为鞋业博物馆的心脏和鞋底
What I like to call the heart and sole of the shoe museum.
这里能造出各种各样的鞋
All kinds of shoe are made here.
你们能说出多少种
How many different types can you name?
先说几种
Let’s kick off with a couple.
木鞋 软帮皮鞋
Clogs, moccasins,
拷花皮鞋 滑板鞋
brogues, deck shoes,
平底便鞋 高帮皮鞋
loafers, winklepickers…
有意思吗
Are you having fun?
有
Yes.
你看上去很没兴趣
You don’t look like you’re having fun.
我很感兴趣
Well, I am.
橄榄球鞋 长曲棍球鞋
..Rugby shoes, lacrosse shoes,
乒乓球鞋
Ping-pong shoes…
-那你想干什么 -吃东西
– What do you want to do? – I want to eat.
好吧 楼下就有个地方
Fine. There’s a place downstairs where
我们能像19世纪的鞋匠那样吃一顿
we can dine like 19th-century cobblers.
我为什么要那么干
Why would I want to do that?
可以边吃边学啊
So you can learn while you eat.
我唯一想学的就是
The only thing I want to learn is just how much bacon
一个人在撑晕前
one man can shovel into his cake
到底能吃多少培根
hole without falling into a coma.
我应该去丹麦的
I should’ve gone to Denmark.
滑雪板算是鞋子吗
Is a ski a shoe?
看来 形成了两个阵营
Well, there are two camps –
“确实是这样”阵营
The ”yes” camp,
和”可能不是这样”阵营
and the ”probably not” camp.
如果觉得我碍事 你为什么不自己去丹麦呢
If I’m such a dead weight, why not just go to Denmark without me?
我不是那个意思
I’m not saying that.
这是你的假期啊 伙计
This is your holiday, buddy.
我只是觉得我们可以赌赌运气
I just think we need to chance our arms a bit.
随你怎么说
Whatever you say.
好吧 地图拿来
Right, give me your map.
这就是我们就餐的地方
Now, this is where we’re eating.
这里怎么样
How about that?
欢迎光临蟹船长
Welcome to Captain Crab. He sails the
他为您畅游七大洋
seven seas so you don’t have to.
祝你们用餐愉快
We hope you enjoy your meal which may
食物里可能包含硬壳 泥沙和刺
contain traces of nuts, soil and bone.
我叫埃洛伊萨 可以开始点餐了吗
My name is Eloisa. May I take your order, please?
可以 我想来一份港务长的愉悦餐
Yes, I’ll have one harbour master’s delight…
一杯虾子
..one glass of prawns…
你好 蟹船长
Hello, Captain Crab.
去你♥妈♥的♥ 帕维尔 你这个山羊生的杂种
Fuck you, Pawel, you son of a goat!
你个蠢驴 脸上无毛的废物
You donkey fucker! you bald-faced fuck!
我要把你的老二剁碎放到三明治里
I’m going to chop off your penis and put it in a sandwich.
再用你的蛋做成煎饼 塞到你嘴里
Then I will make an omelette with your balls and feed it to you,
这样你就知道它在煎饼里的味道如何了
so you know what your balls taste like in an omelette…
尝起来跟屎一样
which is shit!
我祝你♥爸♥死于癌症
I hope your father dies of cancer
你妈月经流血过多而死
and your mother explodes with a terrible period!
油炸鱿鱼和鳕鱼奶昔
..The deep-fried calamari and a cod shake.
我来一份蔬菜
And I’ll just have the vegetarian…
套餐
..option.
不 帕维尔 我要走了
No, Pawel, I’m leaving
你在你这烂透了的餐馆干了两个月
I’ve spent two months working in your shitty restaurant,
鱼是从管道里捞出来的
where the fish comes from a canal and the
厨子往蔬菜套餐里撒尿
chef pisses in the vegetarian option.
你还骗了我
And then you cheat on me!
去你♥妈♥的♥ 你这个傻♥逼♥秃驴
Fuck you, you bald, fucking stumpy-dick monkey!
抱歉 你刚才点了什么
Sorry. What was that?
给我来杯自来水吧
I’ll just have a glass of tap water, please.
我们走吧
Ok, let’s go.
她只是跟男朋友吵架而已
She just argued with her boyfriend.
这是蟹船长 伙计 有标准的
This is Captain Crab, dude. He has standards.
真快啊
Whoa… that was prompt.
所有的食物都是周一做好的 保温存放
They make all the food on Monday and keep it warm.
那个不能吃
You can’t eat that.
-谁说不能吃 -你自己看看啊
– Who says I can’t? – Look at it.
我不想看 看了我就不敢吃了
I don’t want to look at it. If I look at it, I will bottle it.
看看啊 它正要爬到你的叉子上 快看啊
Look at it. It’s trying to move on your fork. Look at it.
我的天啊
Oh, my god!
我觉得它是有话要跟我说
I think it’s trying to communicate with me.
我真的觉得我们该走了
I really think we should go.
邦尼
Bunny!
等一下
Whoa, hang on a minute.
这些小东西看起来真不错
These fellas look all right.
我才不要看你杀螃蟹
I’m not gonna watch you kill a crab.
我不是要杀他们 我有个更好的主意
I’m not gonna kill ’em. I’ve got a better idea.
加油啊
Come on!
太棒了
Yeah!
你应该过去找她聊聊
You should go talk to her.
什么
What?
她刚才一直在看你
She was looking at you.
才怪 没有的事
No, I don’t think that she was.
那好吧 加油啊 你这懒鬼蟹
Well… come on, you fucking lazy crustacean!
也许我该出去透透气
Maybe I’ll just get some air.
对不起 对不起
Oh! Sorry, sorry.
请问
Excuse me.
你有打火机吗
Do you have a light?
什么
What?
有打火机吗
Do you have a light?
-打火机 -哦 有的
– Fuego? – Oh, yes.
是的 我有 当然
Yes, I do, actually, as a matter of fact.
如果你需要焊东西的话
If you ever want any welding done…
焊东西
Welding?
就是把金属焊到一起
It’s when you join bits of metal together.
我为什么要那么干呢
Why would I want to do that?
当然 你不用那么干 我只是
No, you wouldn’t. It was more about the…
我只是在说这个喷灯
I was referring to the blowtorch.
开个玩笑
It was a…joke.
很好笑
It was very funny.
能借我用一下吗
Can I borrow that?
那么 你
So…do you…
下班后会出去玩吗
go out after work?
你喜欢那样吗
Is that the sort of thing you do?
去酒吧或者什么别的地方吗
Are you going to go to a bar or anything?
-不去 -很好
– No. – Good.
很好
Good.
我想回家 回西班牙过狂欢节
I’m going back home to Spain for a fiesta.
今晚吗
Tonight?
是的
Yeah.
我不知道要怎么回去
I don’t know how I’m going to get there.
不过我会回去的
But I will.
过节人们玩得都很野
Fiesta is wild.
他们从几里之外赶过去看斗牛
People come from miles around to see the bullfighting.
他们为之疯狂
And they go crazy.
他们喝很多酒 不停得跳舞
They drink a lot, they dance a lot.
他们四处大小便
They make poo, they make wee.
在大街上做♥爱♥