我可不认为我要负责
I didn’t think I could take on that kind of responsibility.
太失误了
It was such a big mistake.
为什么 我觉得她走了以后…
Why? I mean, with t-bird gone…
你不就随心所欲了吗
Couldn’t you have sex with whoever you wanted?
我告诉你
Let me be clear.
世界上没有任何一样东西
There is nothing on the planet…
比女人的阴♥道♥更让我着迷的
That I love more than a hot, new pussy.
-当然 -任何一样
– sure. – nothing.
知道p.h.在n.p.h.里是什么意思吗?
What does the p.h. stands for in n.p. h?
帕特里克·哈里斯
Patrick harris.
不对 常识错误 是普恩·汉德拉
No, common mistake. poon handler.
主要是…
The point is, boys…
尽管我想和很多很多热辣的女人发生性关系
Even though I love havin’ sex with some hot, random trim…
每天我都在想塔珊达
A day hasn’t gone by where I haven’t thought of tashonda.
每次我看到黑人接吻的时候 我的小♥弟♥弟♥就变湿
Every time I see a bag of hershey’s kisses, my balls get so wet.
我敬你 塔珊达
Here’s to you, tashonda.
希望你能别辜负了她
– I hope you kept the baby. – wow.
获得了自♥由♥
free on my own.
像以前那样
that’s the way I used to be.
自从我看见你之后 宝贝儿啊
but since I met you, baby.
宝贝 怎么了?
Hey, honey. what’s up?
在你钱包里我发现了点东西
I found something in your purse.
为什么翻我的钱包?
Why would you go through my purse?
为什么你会有这个烟?
Why would you have a joint…
知不知道它会毁了我的政♥治♥生涯?
When you know it could ruin my political career?
对不起
I’m sorry.
最近忙活结婚 压力有点大
What with all the wedding plans, I’ve just been a little stressed.
它能让我放松一下
It helps me relax
毒品是非法的 瓦纳萨
Marijuana is illegal, vanessa.
我以为这东西在你那已经成为过去了
Now, I thought that part of your life was in the past.
-当然 -很好
– it is. – good.
这才是我想听的
That’s all I need to hear.
宝贝儿
Hey, baby.
我了解结婚可能让人有点混乱
Look, I know things can be hectic with the wedding.
但你可以像我这样解压
But, you know, if you get stressed out, just do what I do.
深深呼吸 好吗?
Snort zoloft, ok?
怎么回事?
What the fuck?
靠
Shit.
哥们儿 他们设了个该死的障碍! 他们会发现我们的
Dude, they set up a fucking roadblock! they’re gonna find us.
-你们说什么? -没什么…
– what are you talking about? – neil…
我不知道改怎么形容 我们是逃犯
I don’t know how to say this any other way, man, but we’re fugitives.
酷啊
Cool.
好吧 我们必须找到另一条路
Ok, well, we’ve got to find a way to get out of this.
-没错 -拜托
– yeah, yeah, yeah. – please.
你们以为我从没带过逃犯逃跑吗
You act like I’ve never smuggled a fugitive across state lines before.
躲在这里
Here. hide in that.
不好意思 有点粘
Sorry. it’s a little sticky.
靠
Shit.
好了
Yeah.
这是… 非要现在给我看这个吗?
What the… when were you gonna show me these?
不好意思
Excuse me.
等等!
Wait, officer!
-靠 -拦住它!
– shit. – hold that car!
尼尔·帕特里克·哈里斯
Neil patrick harris.
真荣幸能在这里看到您
It is an honor to meet you, sir.
没错 可以想想
Yeah. I would imagine so.
我知道你一定听过这个…
I’m sure you get this all the time…
你在恒星飞船里的当兵那段 改变了我的生命
But your part in starship troopers truly, truly changed my life.
是吗
Really?
怎么改变的
How?
没人能想到我们竟然能打败外星怪兽
no one thought the war against the arachnids of klendathu could be won.
-但你证明了那些骑兵们… -neil
– but you showed the starship troopers… – neil!
那些昆虫能被毁灭
…that those bugs could be destroyed.
很多人认为反恐也不可能胜利 对吧
A lot of people think the war on terror is a war that can’t be won, right?
那就是我加入国♥家♥安♥全♥局的原因
That’s why I joined the department of homeland security.
兄弟 两个字 他妈的飞船骑兵
My friend, two words. starship fuckin’ troopers.
想了解存在的秘密 和我们走
If you want to know the secret of being, you will come with us.
不好意思 我得走了
Please. I really need to go.
不好意思打扰你了 这边走
Yeah, of course. I’m so sorry to bother you. you move along.
拜
Bye.
我爱你
I love you.
我也爱你帕特里克·哈里斯
I love you too, mr. patrick harris.
那是…
What the…
真♥他♥妈♥过瘾 太厉害了
Holy fucking shit, that was awesome.
以后和那些白♥痴♥这么说就行
Try having that conversation on shrooms.
那次演绎我得了奥斯卡奖
I deserve an oscar for that performance.
-真的! -哥们儿…
– you do! – dudes…
我一会要绕一小下 好吧
I’m gonna take a little detour on the way, all right?
-不行 -不要吧
– no. – neil, no.
但我们马上就要到了
But we’re almost there, man.
-没有但是! -你要干什么
– no buts. no buts! – what do you do…
我想找个妓院 发泄一下欲望
I’m going to a whorehouse and I’m gonna get my fuck on.
如果你们没什么欲望 随便你们
If you two don’t want to get your dicks wet, that’s fine with me.
也无所谓啊
I’ll get my dick wet.
不需要什么 只要愉快
don’t need nothin’ but a good time.
我怎么生活
how can I resist?
不就是不想其他 只要愉快
ain’t lookin’ for nothin’ but a good time.
没有什么比这更好的
and it don’t get better than this.
姑娘们 我回来了
Pussy, I’m home!
嗨
Hello?
我以为你再也不来了呢
Well, well, well. I thought you’d never show your face around here again.
那又怎样 萨利 我还以为我是你的主顾呢
What’s the matter, sally? I thought I was one of your top customers.
你不会把上次在这发生什么都给忘了吧
Have you forgotten what happened the last time you were here?
因为你 我最好的一个姑娘不干了
Because of you, my best girl quit.
我给她钱了
Hey, I paid her good money.
她不能干了也不能怪我啊
It’s not my fault she didn’t lube up.
而且 我还带来了新顾客
Besides, I bring you new customers.
-新顾客? -不 够了
– new customers? – no, neil, that’s all.
谢谢 很好
Thank you. thank you. appreciate it. appreciate it.
萨利 把姑娘们带来
Sally. bring on the lineup.
让她们都站到楼梯上
Line up in the chutes, girls.
顾客来了
Longhorns coming through.
尼尔
Neil.
大点 大点 在大点
Bigger. bigger. bigger. bigger.
嗨…
Hello, ba…
-你叫什么名字? -乳♥头♥·海明威
– what’s your name, miss? – tits hemingway.
怎么练成的?
How’d you come up with that?
我有超大的乳♥头♥
Well, I have huge tits.
而且我最大的运动就是移♥动♥胸部
And my favorite book is a moveable feast.
那一定很有用
I guess that makes sense, yeah.
准备好为我服务了没 乳♥头♥
Well, I hope you’re ready for me, tits…
我的小♥弟♥弟♥可等不及要摇一下了
Cause I’m gonna rock out with my cock out…
我想要你来挤挤
And you’re gonna jam out with your clam out.
一定会很爽
It’s gonna be magical.
-兄弟 那些妞们都很适合我 -不要吧 尼尔
– the whores are on me, fellas. – no, neil…
-谢谢 但我们… -谢谢了 哥们儿
– thank you, but we… that’s… – thanks, dude.
拧它 劳乐迪 我不知道你…
Screw that, roldy. I don’t know about you…
没有理由休息 我要你们两个
But, no offense to the rest of you ladies, I am gonna be taking you two.
不要 考玛尔!
No, kumar. kumar!
劳乐迪 别落后啊 兄弟
Roldy, you’re missing out, brother.
兄弟 我们得回到马路上了
Yo, we need to get back on the road, buddy.
我们得…
We need…
你知道 我们提供…
Well, now, you know, we also supply…
屋内的电影和杂♥志♥
In-room films or a magazine.
如果你想要自♥慰♥
Well, if you’d like some self-satisfaction…
我们有…
We do have some…
电动自♥慰♥装置在那边
Electronic devices right over there.
喝点咖啡吧 好吧
Just have some coffee. yeah?
为什么不躺在床上呢
Why don’t you lie on the bed?
告诉我们你要我们做什么
And tell us what you want us to do.