雷蒙·斯尼奇的不幸历险（2004）

挥舞翅膀 四处飞翔
Bum buttery, flit fluttery Dum diddly-ooh
蓝知更鸟 尽情歌♥唱
Bum buttery, bluebird Is singing a tune
水仙醒来 赞颂阳光
Daffy-down-dillies awaken And prune
妩媚多娇 百花盛放
Bursting in bloom All the flowers assume
可爱春天 多么美妙
It’s a loverly, loverly spring
小精灵
花栗鼠呀 叽叽喳喳
Chit-chattery chipmunks All singing along
拥抱春天 一齐欢唱
Humming their Join-in-a-spring-along song
春天来到 放声歌♥唱
Spring is the springiest time For a song
歌♥颂春天多美妙
It’s a loverly, loverly spring
森林之中 野兔为伴 玩耍整日
In the forest we play With the rabbits all day–
抱歉扫兴了
I’m sorry to say
接下来的电影与这些情节无关
that this is not the movie you will be watching.
大家即将看到的电影可一点也不梦幻
The movie you are about to see is extremely unpleasant.
如果你想看快乐的小精灵
If you wish to see a film about a happy little elf,
那么请您移步去隔壁的放映厅
I’m sure there is still plenty of seating in theater number two.
但是 如果你喜欢听有关
However, if you like stories about clever
聪明迷人的孤儿
and reasonably attractive orphans,
令人生疑的火灾 食肉的水蛭
suspicious fires, carnivorous leeches,
意大利菜以及神秘组织的故事
Italian food and secret organizations,
那么请你留步
then stay
待我慢慢回顾
as I retrace each and every one
波德莱尔家孩子们的辛酸历程
of the Baudelaire children’s woeful steps.
我名叫雷蒙尼·斯尼奇
My name is Lemony Snicket,
很不幸 我要记录这样一个故事
and it is my sad duty to document this tale.
长女维奥莱特·波德莱尔
Violet Baudelaire, the eldest,
是十四岁这个年龄段里最好的发明家之一
was one of the finest 14-year-old inventors in the world.
所有熟识维奥莱特的人
Anyone who knew Violet
都知道 她用丝带扎起长发之际
well could tell she was inventing something
便是她发明创造之时
when her long hair was tied up in a ribbon.
维奥莱特知道 在这个充满
In a world of abandoned items and discarded materials,
废弃物品的世界里 有一些东西
Violet knew there was always something.
总能为她所用 她会将其华丽地制成
Something she could fashion into nearly any device
任意一样应景的工具
for nearly every occasion.
她有一个测试新发明的最佳人选
And no one was better to test her inventions
那就是她弟弟
than her brother.
次子克劳斯·波德莱尔 爱好阅读
Klaus Baudelaire, the middle child, loved books.
更准确地说 他爱好书中学到的知识
Or, rather, the things he learned from books.
他家的豪♥宅♥里有一个很大的图书馆
The Baudelaire parents had an enormous library in their mansion.
其中拥有数千本图书 几乎涵盖每个学科
A room filled with thousands of books on nearly every subject.
克劳斯最爱干的事
And nothing pleased Klaus more
莫过于花一整个下午
than spending an afternoon
从书中汲取知识
filling up his head with their contents.
他还有过目不忘的本事
And everything he read he remembered.
小女儿阳阳 有着一个异于常人的爱好
Sunny, the youngest, had a different interest.
有着四颗尖牙的她 喜欢咬东西
She liked to bite things and had four sharp teeth.
很少有她不爱咬的东西
There was very little that Sunny did not enjoy biting.
阳阳这个年龄的孩子
Sunny was at an age when one mostly speaks
说起话来就是几声怪叫
in a series of unintelligible shrieks.
比如说
For instance:
她可能是在说
Which probably meant,
看啊 大雾里走来一个神秘的身影
”Look at that mysterious figure emerging from the fog. ”
也可能是在说
Or perhaps,
像波尔先生这样一个银行家
”What is a banker like Mr. Poe doing
怎么会趟着沙子来布莱尼沙滩找我们
trudging thorough the sand to find us at Briny Beach?”
孩子们
Children,
很抱歉 有个极其不幸的消息
I’m afraid I must inform you of an extremely unfortunate event.
我对此事感到万分遗憾
I’m very, very sorry to tell you this,
你们家的房♥屋被付之一炬
but your parents have perished in a fire
你们的父母在火灾中罹难了
that’s destroyed your entire home.
如果你曾失去过最亲近的人
If you have ever lost someone very important to you,
那么你应该知道那是什么样的感受
then you already know how it feels.
如果你尚未经历过
And if you haven’t,
你永远也想象不出
you cannot possibly imagine it.
没人知道这场大火的确切起因
No one knows the precise cause of the Baudelaire fire.
我和同事们已经尽最大努力调查了
My colleagues and I have investigated the best we can.
但我们只发现 火灾源在
But all we’ve discovered is that the blaze
很远很远的地方
was started from a great distance
是因光的反射及聚合而起
through the refraction and convergence of light.
短短几分钟里 整幢楼就被火焰吞噬了
And within moments, the entire mansion was in flames.
与火灾起因同样神秘的事物
And as mysterious as the source of the blaze,
开始慢慢地出现在孩子们的眼前
other mysteries began to unfold before the children’s eyes.
每个家庭都有秘密 都有禁忌之地
Every family has its secrets, doors left unopened.
正像克劳斯所想
But as Klaus now realized,
最不起眼的发现
the smallest discovery
也会激起他无数的疑问
would send his mind reeling with questions.
父亲书桌里的望远镜是干什么用的
What was this spyglass hidden in his father’s desk?
他们的父母
Were there other secrets
是否还有其他不为人知的秘密
about their parents’ lives yet to be revealed?
他担心这都是些无解之谜
Questions he now feared might never be answered.
于是
And just like that,
波德莱尔家的孩子们就此沦为孤儿
the Baudelaire children became the Baudelaire orphans.
别怪我没警告你啊
I tried to warn you.
不想看这部影片 就马上走出剧院或客厅
This is an excellent opportunity to walk out of the theater,
或者关掉机舱电视 机不可失啊
living room or airplane where this film is being shown.
现在去看快乐的小精灵还来得及
It’s not too late to see a film about a happy little elf.
好了 跟我来
Yes. Come with me.
现在 作为赔偿金管理局的负责人
Now, as chief officer of Mulctuary Management
以及你父母遗产的执行人
and the executor of your parents’ estate,
在你们成年之前 在法律上
it is my legal obligation
我有义务替你们保管所继承财物
to take care of your money till you come of age
并将你们托付给关系最近的亲戚抚养
and to place you in the care of your closest relative.
现在 我送你们到奥拉夫伯爵家
So I’m taking you to live with your dear Count Olaf,
他就住在城里 再过三十七个街区就到了
who resides right here in the city, just 37 blocks away.
这也叫”近”吗
I don’t think that’s what ”closest” is supposed to mean.
我们不认识什么奥拉夫伯爵
We don’t know a Count Olaf.
你们当然认识
Yes, yes, of course you do.
他要么是你们四代相隔的三堂兄
He’s either your third cousin four times removed
或者是三代相隔的四堂兄
or your fourth cousin three times removed.
他还是个演员 多好玩啊 孩子们
And he’s an actor by trade. Isn’t that exciting, children?
你们算是很幸运了
You should count yourselves lucky, children.
干♥他♥这行的少有慷慨之人
This sort of generosity is rare in a person of his profession.
我们到了 你们的新家
Here we are, your new home.
是不是很漂亮啊
Isn’t it lovely, children?
你好
Oh, hello.
你们一定是波德莱尔家的孩子们吧
You must be the Baudelaires.
你好
Hi.
得知出了那样的事故 我很难过
I was so sorry to hear about the accident,
但听闻你们要来 我很高兴
but so happy to hear you were coming here.
欢迎你们 我是本市高级法♥院♥的施特劳斯法官
Welcome. I’m Justice Strauss of the city high court.
我是维奥莱特 这是我弟弟克劳斯 还有小妹妹阳阳
I’m Violet. And this is my brother, Klaus, and my sister, Sunny.
我是赔偿金管理局的波尔 你好啊
Poe, Mulctuary Management. How do you do?
很好
Lovely.
你的房♥子真漂亮
Your house is so beautiful.
谢谢
Thank you.
别见外 随时欢迎你们来做客
Please don’t be strangers. You come visit me anytime you like.
-做客 -你是说
– Visit? – You mean,
你不和奥拉夫伯爵住一起吗
you don’t live with Count Olaf?
和奥拉夫伯爵一起住 不是的
Live with–? With Count Olaf? No.
不 不 不 他住我对面
No, no, no, no. He’s– He’s my neighbor.
请进
Entrood.
我赶时间 你们快进去
Haven’t got all day. In you go.
你们好 好 好 好
Well, hello, hello, hello.
我是你们敬爱的奥拉夫伯爵
I am your beloved Count Olaf.
欢迎来我可爱的小家
And welcome to my loverly home.
希望蔽舍如丝绒般舒适 能带来如子♥宫♥般的温暖
May you find solace within the womblike warmth of its. . .
抚慰你们的心灵
. . .Downy plume.
或者正如古希腊人所说
Or as the Greeks in the ancient times would say:
孤儿们
Orphanis. . .
多么地不幸
. . .Encribo. . .
等等 等等 等等