我的第一先生（2001）

Red rain.
红雨
Death touched her lips as she kissed her lover good bye.
死亡触摸她的嘴唇 就像她吻别爱人一样
She tried not to touch his skin
她尽量不去碰他的皮肤
knowing the coldness would chill her.
她知道他的冷淡会使她打寒战
As it was
就像
she still hadn’t cried
她仍然没有哭
nor had she decided who was in the better position.
也没有决定谁更好
The end.
最后
I wrote that.
我写下了这个
I’m a fucking poet.
我是他妈的诗人
When I’m not writing poems
当我不写诗的时候
I’m writing eulogies.
我写
Mine.
我的颂文
片名：冲出封锁线（我的第一先生）
Yeah? Oh, yeah? Yeah! Yeah!
是吗 哦,是是,是
Take it easy, fellas. My mother
别紧张,朋友我母亲
a Shirley Partridge wanna be
一个雪莉.鹌鹑想
would like for me to go to dental school.
我进牙科学校
I can’t imagine spending every day dealing with other people’s spit.
我不敢想象每天和别人的 唾液打交道将会怎么样
Somehow, I just don’t think I’m the type.
我觉得我不适合
I think it’s just horrible
我觉得这很可怕
the amount of confusion and angst
数目的混乱和担心
that we teenage girls have to endure regarding our apparel.
我们十几岁的女孩子 必须忍♥耐我们的服饰
I mean, it takes a lot of time to mix and match.
要花上很多时间来打扮
I think every girl should be provided
我想每个女孩都应该有
I’m sitting in writing class, surrounded by alien creatures
我坐在写作班,周围是一群
with pretentious names like Ashley
有着自命不凡名字的外国人, 就像艾雪莉
Cody.
科迪
I’m not really into people.
我和这些人不是很合得来
Anyway, I think that if everyone just drove the same car
如果所有的人都想驾驶同一辆车
that it would put an end
到了最后
to envy and jealousy
就会产生羡慕和妒忌
and carjackings.
并且抢破车子
All right, ash.
没错
Thank you.
谢谢
Okay, Ashley.
好了,艾雪莉
Thank you.
谢谢
Let’s see who’s next.
下一个是谁
Jennifer Wilson.
詹尼弗.威尔逊
My parents named me Jennifer Anne Wilson.
我父母给我取名为 詹尼弗.安妮.威尔逊
My middle name is because someone is dead.
取中间的名字是因为 有个人死了
I don’t really have a passion for the name Jennifer
我对詹尼弗这个名字 不是很感兴趣
so I refer to myself as J.
我更喜欢叫做J
I don’t think of myself as a teenage girl or a woman.
我不管自己是十几岁的女孩还是女人
I’m just the opposite of a boy.
我就是和男孩相反的人
J, your bio was cool.
J,你的个人简历很棒
It moved me.
使我很感动
You look like those cool VJs they get off the street on MTV.
你好像那些在大街上 拍摄MTV的节目主持人
You totally rock.
你很有魅力
If I brought you home, my mom might hemorrhage.
如果我带你回家, 我妈妈一定会大怒的
Do you wanna maybe go have sushi?
你想去吃寿司吗
I’m a lesbian.
我是同性恋
I’m okay with that.
对我没关系
Once, when I was 14, I thought I was a lesbian.
我14岁的时候认为 自己是同性恋
The question of my generation:
我同代人的问题：
To dive
跳
or not to dive.
还是不跳
But this one day, my mom took me to her gym.
但是这一天, 我妈妈带我到她的体育馆
She stuck me in the steam room with a bunch of women
她叫我和一群女人呆在蒸汽室
posing as elephants.
个个像大象一样粗
Cured me of doubt.
治疗我的可疑
Now I masturbate to a picture of Freddie Prinze, Jr
我现在对着佛雷迪.普林兹 的照片手♥淫♥
and I’m quite certain of my sexual preference.
我对我的性偏爱不以为然
I’m cooking a brisket for dinner tonight.
我今晚炒鸡肉做晚餐
A woman needs to eat blood every now and again.
女人应该多喝血
She just really does.
真的很有必要
Oh, no, it’s my musicals.
不,那是我的音乐
When I have a brand new hairdo
with my eyelashes all in curls
I think my mother was deeply affected by the divorce.
我想母亲是受了 离婚的很大影响
I enjoy being a girl
when men say I’m cute and funny
and my teeth aren’t teeth but pearls
I just lap it up like honey
I enjoy being a girl
stop that.
放下
Dad, the sperm that bore me, cheated on mom.
老爸,你的精♥子♥产生了我, 却对妈妈不忠
Mom remarried.
妈妈再婚了
I think his name is Bob.
我想他叫鲍勃
Hi, Jennifer.
嗨,詹尼弗
Surprise!
惊奇,
Surprise, Jen!
惊奇,詹
Cosmopolitan. Tomorrow’s our big day.
四海为家 明天是个好日子
Brisket in half an hour.
鸡肉半个小时后好
Jen, it’s best when it’s hot.
詹,热的时候最好吃
Baby?
宝贝
Baby!
宝贝
Brisket’s ready!
鸡肉好了
Time to celebrate your graduation, honey.
亲爱的,到了我们为你 庆祝毕业的时候了
Brisket’s all ready. Vintage TV rocks.
鸡肉准备好了
What I wouldn’t give to live with the Partridge family.
我不想住在这个鹌鹑家庭
I think Shirley would really get me.
詹尼弗 我想雪莉会真的喜欢我
I like chocolate.
我喜欢巧克力
It’s dark and warm. Come here, baby.
又黑又暖, 过来,宝贝
Like what I imagine a hug would be like.
想象着拥抱会是怎么样的
Doesn’t sound friendly to me. Wanna look like a dope, go ahead.
别和我说起话来不友好你想看起来像个笨蛋,随便吧
Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah? Yeah! Yeah!
哦,是吗 是吗
I’ll meet you at the table.
桌子上见
She’s coming. Takes her a while, that’s all.
她来了,她需要一点时间
Takes her a while.
她需要一点时间
Employment
雇佣
sucks.
王八蛋
But I just need enough cash to get my own place.
但是我需要钱来维持我自己的生活
I need help, someone.
我需要帮忙
Hello!
哈罗
Oh, thank god!
哦,谢天谢地
I got these pants caught on my earring. Bad pain.
我穿了这样短裤挂着我的耳环了
Bad pain.
很痛
All right.
好了,
Do you have one?
你有吗
No, not there.
没有,不在这里
You should get one. It makes sex amazing.
你应该有的,好像是在做♥爱♥
You have one here?
你有吗
No, not there either.
没有,也不在这里
You don’t know what you’re missing.
你不知道你错过了什么
Well, I’m not the one with a pair of dead man’s pants
是的,我不是那种
hanging from my labia.
有两个死男人的短裤 挂在我的下边上的人
“It makes sex amazing. Ow!”
“做起爱来很兴奋”
Maybe I should get some more piercings.
也许我应该多穿几个刺耳
I’m not busy.
我不忙
What is sex anyway?
性是怎么回事
If memory serves
如果从记忆上说
technically I’m still a virgin.
技术上我还是个处♥女♥
There was this one day in third grade
在三年级的时候
when Matthew Kingsley came over and we played doctor.
当马太.辛格斯利过来和 我们一起玩的时候
He confused my vagina with my anus
他对我的下♥体♥感到很迷惑
and took my temperature with a fire engine red crayon.
用消防车的红色管子弄得我很痛
From then on, whenever I’d hear a siren
从那时起,当我听到警报声
I’d giggle.
我都会打冷战
I never had a boyfriend.
我从未有过男朋友
I don’t know what I’d do with one if I did.
我不知道如果有了的话该怎么办
Guys like Calvin Klein g string ad girls.
人们喜欢那种像 加尔文.凯琳一样的女孩子
I wear boxers.
我穿拳击短裤
I once had an orgasm, though.
有一次