默默无闻（2020）

to his new family, all those around him.
然后他会想他也会死 我是说
He’ll be left thinking that he will die, too. I mean, you know…
这会是什么样的童年
What kind of childhood is that?
约翰 每个记忆都不同
John, a memory box is different.
现在或许不用 但将来需要
He won’t need one now, but he will need it…
他的新父母也需要
and his new parents will too.
他可能有一段时间每天都在想你
You know, John, there might come a time when he thinks about you every day…
他需要一些东西来开始 具体的 真实的
and he’ll need something to start with, physical, real,
可以联♥系♥并建立起来
to connect with and build on.
建立
Build on?
是手册上写的 还是你刚考过
Is that from a manual? Have you just passed the exam?
约翰 萧娜说的没错
John, please. Shona’s right.
现在或许不用但将来要
Maybe not now, but later.
尤其是十八岁时
And certainly when he’s eighteen…
到时他就有权利知道他的生父母是谁
and he has the right to find out for himself who his birth parents were.
他非得知道他是被领养的吗
Why does he have to know he was adopted?
我们会为他找到一个家 这将是他的家人 他唯一的家人
We will find him a family that will be his family, his only family.
他甚至不必记得他的父母是多么无能
He won’t even have to remember how useless his parents were.
他的妈遗弃他然后他爸死去
His mother leaves him and then his father dies.
我是说 那一定会让他难过死
I mean, that, that would definitely fuck him up.
喔 麦可 还早啊
Oh, Michael, it’s early.
跟你说过别在书上乱画
Michael, I told you not to draw in the books.
图书室的多纳莉太太会怎么说
What’s Mrs. Donnelly at the library gonna say?
要贴哪 你决定
Here, where do we put it? You choose.
好 教你 用力
That’s good. Let me show you. Give it a big push.
我赢了
I’m winning!
难道你不讨厌他们吗
Don’t you just hate them?
把狗丢在花♥园♥
They leave their dogs in the garden, loose,
他们还要收信件 不是吗
but they still expect their mail, dontthey?
然后抱怨慢收啦 遗失啦
And then they complain if something’s late, or god forbid, goes missing.
主人跟可怕的狗
Them and their bloody dogs.
真是恐怖
A menace.
时不时跑向你 咬你
And then, they come at you and they bite you.
就像咬到你是它们一天最快乐的事
It’s like you’re their bit of fun for the day.
小只的最麻烦 对吧 是的
– The small ones are the worst, aren’t they? – Mmm.
看着 麦可
Look at that, Michael.
忽然从我裤管穿过
Right through my trousers.
随时要注意狗 麦可
Always watch out for dogs, Michael.
你从不知再来被咬的是什么感觉
You never know what they feel like biting next.
麦可喜欢狗
Michael loves dogs.
他认识一只非常可爱的小狗
He knows a very nice puppy.
呃 还要蛋糕吗 约翰
Er… would you like some more cake, John?
好吃吧 她自己做的
It’s great, isn’t it? She made it herself.
不加防腐剂
None of those old preservatives.
谢谢 不了 很好吃
Thank you, no. It was delicious.
呃 萧娜 还要吗
Er… shona, would you?
喔 谢谢 吃不下了
Oh, thank you, Pam, I really couldn’t.
麦可 还要来点蛋糕吗
Michael, would you like a wee bit more of Pam’s cake?
啊 那
Ah, well…
我最好再来点 免得被兔子吃掉
I’d better have a wee bit more myself then, before the rabbit gets to it.
爸 兔子不吃蛋糕
Dad, rabbits don’t eat cake.
麦可知道这只是个玩笑话 对吧 麦可
I’m sure Michael knows I’m onlyjoking, don’t you, Michael?
你养三年了 对吧
And you’ve been fostering for three years now, is that right?
是的 但没更好受
Mm-hmm. Yeah, but it’s been tough, you know?
还是想要怀孕
It’s… hard letting go of the idea of being pregnant.
会想引起别人注意
You know, you want people to make a fuss over you,
还是会想 布置小孩房♥
you want to get the, the baby room ready, you know?
心里一直想 感觉很痛苦
And it lingers in your mind and you feel this pain…
看着别的妈妈带着小贝比
watching other mothers with their babies.
让你感觉 你是个失职的妈妈
Every month you feel like you, you’ve failed as a woman.
不会啦
No.
不好意思 约翰
Sorry, John.
相信你知道生活中并非一切顺遂
I’m sure you know life doesn’t always work out the way you mean it to.
所以我想不如来帮别人养小孩
So I thought that maybe I was put on this earth to look after other people’s children.
当安 六岁吗 七岁
– And when Anne was… six? – Seven.
七岁时 开始养
Seven, we started fostering.
你觉得呢 安 喜欢吗
How was it for you, Anne? Did you enjoy?
她马上就接受了 对吧
Oh, she took to it straight away, didn’t you? Didn’t you, pet?
就像鸭子喜欢水
Like a duck to water.
但看着它们死掉很难过
But sometimes it’s sad to see them go, you know?
我们不想再这样道别了
Now we don’t want to say goodbye to any more.
以前错就错了 要是有特别的小孩
We both made our mistakes, but we found someone special…
就会 永远在一起
and we’ll be… we’ll be together forever, won’t we?
他们上街买♥♥东西还是会手挽手 真是尴尬
They’re still holding hands when they’re together shopping. It’s embarrassing.
说的也是
That might be somewhat true.
我们做什么都一起
We do nearly everything together.
如果半夜我起来上厕所
If I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom,
她就会跟来陪我
she comes with me, keeps me company.
只要我去小号♥ 爸
– So I go for a piss… – Dad!
干嘛说这个 别人会怎么想
Why would you tell them that? What will they think?
怎样 他不上小号♥吗 爸
– What, he doesn’t piss? – Dad!
别理他
Don’t mind him.
你的孩子会成为大家庭的一份子
Now… look, your child will be part of a big family.
都是好人 实在的人
All good people, real people.
坚持做自己 别人会尊重你
You wanna stick to your own, people that respect you,
不要人云亦云 知道我说的吧 约翰
not people who talk down to you. You know what I mean, John?
我懂
I know what you mean.
就像邮差
Postman, sure.
很多人不再写信
You know, it’s… Nobody writes letters anymore…
这些人很快就会
and I’m sure they’re gonna do away with us pretty soon,
被无人机之类的取代
replaced by a flying drone or something.
那狗还能咬什么 麦可
And what will all those dogs bite then, eh, Michael? Eh?
喜欢兔子吗 麦可
Did you like the rabbit, Michael?
不想养只兔子吗
Wouldn’t you like a rabbit to look after?
我想养小狗
I want a puppy.
快好了
Almost done.
谢谢你 麦克唐纳太太 实在不用麻烦了
Thank you, Mrs. McDonagh. You really didn’t have to go to the trouble.
不麻烦 你要留着力气
No trouble. You need your strength.
我还可以做什么吗
And what else would I be doing with myself?
你的特餐 你应该爱吃
Here’s your special, just as you like it.
太感谢了
Thank you very much.
金姆
Kim.
给你吃 乖女孩
Here you go. Good girl.
约翰 有些人可能有点无所不知 但他们是专业人士
You know, John, these people, they may be a bit know-it-all,
但他们是专家
but they are professionals.
如果有人说你该
Er… you know, if they say that you should…
那我该跟他说什么
And what am I meant to tell him?
当我 上了天堂 坐在上帝旁
That I’m… in heaven, sitting next to god?
会是同一位上帝
The same god who did this?
我妈很信 来世
Well… you know, my mother believed in it, an afterlife.
跟她说 “尘归尘” 没用
But none of your “dust to dust” stuff for her.
她会说 “我们是空气不是土”
“We are air not earth,” she would say.
“我们之后都在那
“And we’re always there, after.
“我们的灵魂 精力都在空气中”
“Our spirit, our energy, is in the air.”
我年轻时曾 笑她的想法
You know, I used to, er… make fun of her, of her ideas, when I was young.
但她说得没错
But you know, she was right.
她现在用各种方式回来找我
And now she comes back to me in all sorts of ways.
她坐在我床边跟我说话
She sits on my bed at night and we talk.
她很安详
And she’s very peaceful.
她不是用嘴巴或什么东西说
I mean, she, she doesn’t talk with her mouth or anything.
我们就是 在说话
But we… but we talk.
嗨 约翰 请进 嗨 茱蒂 你好 葛丽丝
– Hi, John. Come on in. – Hi, Judy. Hello, grace.
葛丽丝 跟麦可的爸爸问好
Grace, say hello to Michael’s daddy.
抱歉 请进
Sorry. Come on in.
乖女儿
Good girl.
很抱歉 今天不适合玩耍
Er… I am sorry. It hasn’t been the best of playdates.
麦可 你♥爸♥来了
Michael, your daddy’s here.
你在桌底下干嘛 麦可
What are you doing under the table, Michael?
今天不想玩
We didn’t feel like playing today.
今天心情不好
And we weren’t very nice.
今天没跟葛丽丝好好玩 对吧