打开心世界（2020）

“我们成千上万的女性该怎么办
“What’s to become of the thousands of our sex
散落在荒野里
scattered out in the wilderness
被迫为我们的能力付出代价
and obliged to tax our strengths?
我觉得好像每当
I feel as if, at that selfsame hour
我们的前途 最光明的时候
when our prospects were brightest,
在暗淡的远处 一个黑影走近
that in the dim distance a black shadow approached.
然而
And yet still,
想象一下我们这种人幸福的聚会
imagine the happiest of unions for us of the sort
那时一度剑拔弩张的两户人家
in which two families previously at daggers drawn
因为爱情而奇迹般地走到了一起
are miraculously brought together on love’s account.
我整夜忍♥受着对你面庞的思念
It is your face I bear through the night.
在睡觉之前我总是幻想着梦里有你
It is to you I devote a dreaming space
但我却睡不着
before I turn myself to sleep, but there is no sleep.
仿佛我体内的一切都在吵着要呼吸新鲜空气
It’s as if within me everything clamors for air,
我觉得如果现在已经这样
and I think if it’s like this now,
以后又会如何
what will it be like later?
我把我所有的爱和支持寄给你
I send you what love and support I can.
我把心中所有的希望都寄给你 阿比盖尔
I send you all my heart’s hopes. Abigail.”
请记住 只靠蛮力
Please know that force alone
是不可能把我带到这样的地方来的
couldn’t have gotten me here to a place like this.
我被告知 我必须采取行动来维护
I was told I had to act in support of interest,
我曾经爱过的人的利益幸福和名誉
happiness and the reputation of someone I once loved.
据我所知
As far as I can figure,
我们现在距离只有85英里
we’re now still only about 85 miles apart.
但是当然
But of course,
像我们这样的人是不能出远门的
people like us don’t go on long visits.
戴尔先是拒绝允许我离开
Dyer refused first to permit my departure,
然后跟着我
and then to accompany me,
追上了马车
and only caught up to the cart
我们用尽钱财爬上了船
at the end of our property and climbed aboard.
我们就是痛苦的真实写照
We were the very picture of anguish,
肩并着肩 摇摇晃晃
rattling along side by side.
那夜天气晴朗暖和 似乎要下雨了
The night was fair and warm with the appearance of a coming rain.
下的是阵雨
A shower.
很难写出
It’s so hard to write about
我有多想谢谢你
how much I want to thank you,
但我必须开个头
but I have to start somewhere.
阿比盖尔
Abigail…
我想告诉你和你在一起 即使是一个人
I want to tell you that being with you, even alone,
也像是成为了
has been like being a part of the biggest
我能想象到的最大最宽敞的社区的一员
and most spacious community I could ever imagine.
我和你比和姐妹还要亲
I feel closer to you than I would a sister since
因为我感受到了那些美妙的事物
everything amazing that I feel,
我选择去感受
I chose to feel.
你知道我最珍惜的回忆是什么吗
And do you know what memory it is that I most cherish?
是你意识到我爱你时
It’s of you turning to me with that smile you gave me
你转向我给我以微笑
once you realized that you were loved.
我没法知道将要发生什么
I have no way of knowing what is to come,
但我知道我们彼此之间的
but I do know that all of the trust
相互信任相互关心相互鼓励
and care and courage we shared,
都会照耀我们
that will all shine on us
保护我们
and protect us.
你是我的欢乐之城
You are my city of joy.
你是我的欢乐之城
You are my city of joy.
吁
Whoa.
请问你有事吗
Might I ask your business?
我们来找泰莉 她在哪里
We’ve come to see Tallie. Where is she?
你在路上我就听见了
I heard you on the road.
你动静可真大 我还以为你是铁打的呢
You made such a racket. I took you for the tin knocker.
我们已经赶了三天路了
We’ve ridden for three days.
见不到她 我们是不会走的
We are not leaving without seeing her.
我不在乎你会不会走
I’m not concerned with what you will or will not leave without.
讲话客气点 朋友
Keep a civil tongue, friend.
她在哪儿
Where is she?
我喂她煤烟茶
I treated her with tea of soot
和松根想治好她
and pine-tree root to good effect,
但疾病总是考验我们的意志
but sickness always tests our willingness
看看我们是否会在最高权威面前低头
to bow before the greatest authority.
她得的应该是白喉
My guess is that it was diphtheria.
不
No!
婚姻里有一些疏远
There is some alienation from marital…
现在几点了
What time is it?
我不在乎
I don’t care.
我得走了 你会留下污点的
-I have to go. -You’re gonna make a mark.
来吧
Come on.
来吧
Come on.
我们走
Come on.
8月31日星期天
Sunday, August 31st.
天气炎热阳光明媚
Weather very hot and sunny.
我把棚子打扫干净了
I cleaned out the shed
那里到处都是生锈的 满是灰尘的垃圾
which was full of rusty and dusty rubbish,
擦洗过窗户
washed the windows,
把苹果存起来过冬
and preserved apples for the winter.
我们的牛奶和黄油卖♥♥出去14美元
Fourteen dollars from the sale of our milk and butter.
我的手被削皮刀割伤了
I have cut my hand with a paring knife.
我以坚定的信念安慰自己
I console myself with the conviction
如果未来的某一天 戴尔
that someday in the future when Dyer
不得不前往锡拉库扎寻找食物和生活用品
is forced to travel to Syracuse for feed or supplies,
我会跟他一起
I will join him,
带着他的步♥枪♥去斯卡尼阿特勒斯
and take his rifle and go to Skaneateles
杀了芬尼
and kill Finney where he sits.
戴尔一直在谷仓工作
Dyer has been at work on the barn.
每一天我们之间的隔阂都在扩大
Each day, we enact our separation.
有时天黑以后
Sometimes after it gets dark,
我们翻山越岭穿过高地
we walk over the hills across our upper fields
为了有广阔的视野
for the wide, wide view.
戴尔试图想象我们还是原来的样子
And Dyer tries to imagine us as we were,
但我想着泰莉
while I try to imagine Tallie
和那种亲切又包容的家庭
and that cordial and accepting home
可惜这一切只存在于我们的梦中
that existed solely in our dreams.
我想象着某个地方泰莉和内莉在一起
I imagine Tallie and Nellie somewhere together,
内莉用梳子梳着泰莉的头发
and Nellie running her brush through Tallie’s hair.
我想象着永远放逐那些
I imagine banishing forever those sentiments of my own
由她切磋琢磨而成的我的情感
that she chastened and refined.
我想象着我下定决心要为戴尔尽我所能
I imagine resolving to do what I can for Dyer.
我想象着继续在这本账簿上写下去
And I imagine continuing to write in this ledger,
在这里
here,
好像这就是我的生活
as though this was my life.
好像我的生活不在别处
As though my life was not elsewhere.
我一直担心我会给我所爱的人
I’ve always feared that I would bring misfortune
带来不幸
to those I loved.
你真的没什么要说的吗
Are you really saying nothing to that?
我不知道从何说起
I don’t know where to start.
我不知道 我们还能为彼此做些什么
I can’t imagine what more we could do for one another…
我们束缚着彼此
with our constraints.
你能不能
You can’t?
我不能
I can’t.
你不能
You can’t?
那么
Well, then…
这是一件好事 我们知道我们的想象力
It’s a good thing we remember that our imaginations can always be cultivated.