I feel anxious, Michael.
从你不寻常的举止里 我感受到了异样
I feel something. Like you’re different-acting.
我 不 不 一切都很好 我只是
Me? No, no, no. Everything’s fine. I’m just…
我知道
I know.
我在明亮的阳光下看上去很丑
I’m not great to look at in bright sunlight.
不是 你非常好看
No, you’re very pretty.
好吧
Okay.
也许 我们可以去外面走一走
So, we could maybe go out for a walk
-聊聊天什么的 -好
-and talk or something. -Yes.
那 待会见咯
So I’ll see you after?
好的
Of course.
还有
And…

Uh…
一定要记住 客户是独♥立♥的个体
Always remember, the customer is an individual.
就像在座的各位
Just like you.
和你们聊过天的每个人 都有自己的生活
Each person you speak to has had a day.
有些人过得好 有些人过得不好
Some of their days have been good, some bad,
但这就是他们的生活
but they’ve all had one.
每个与你们交谈的人都有自己的童年
Each person you speak to has had a childhood.
都有自己的躯体
Each has a body.
都忍♥受着疼痛
Each body has aches.
什么是人类
What is it to be human?
什么是疼痛
What is it to ache?
什么又是人生
What is it to be alive?
我找不到答案
I don’t know.
痛是什么样的痛 我不知道
What is it to ache? I don’t know.
活要怎么活 我不知道
What is it to be alive? I don’t know.
呃 没错 回到正题 我如何与客户交谈
Uh, yes. “How do I talk to a customer?”
我如何与客户交谈
How do I talk to a customer?
对于客服代表来说
These are the important questions
这些都是非常关键的问题
for a customer service representative.
我该怎么说 我接起电♥话♥的时候要面带微笑吗
What do I say? Do I smile while I’m on the phone?
相信我 他们能听出来你有没有在微笑
Well, they can tell if you’re smiling
就算他们看不见你
even if they can’t see you.
你们知道这一点吗
Did you know that?
和你朋友打个电♥话♥试试
Try it as an experiment on the phone with a friend.
拿起手♥机♥ 试试
Try it, go ahead.
看着
Watch.
我很迷茫
I’m lost.
你们看 我是笑着说这句话的
You see, I was smiling when I said that.
我失去了我的爱人
I’ve lost my love.
她就像一艘起锚的船 消失于茫茫大海
She’s an unmoored ship drifting off to sea.
然而我却不知道该跟谁说
And I have no one to talk to.
我不知道该跟谁说 我不知道该跟谁说
I have no one to talk to. I have no one to talk to.
对不起 我不是故意来烦扰大家的
I’m sorry. I don’t mean to burden you with that.
我只是不知道自己还能干嘛 因为
I just don’t know what else to do because
我实在不知道该跟谁说
I have no one to talk to.
对待客户要真挚热情
Be friendly to the customer.
把他们当朋友一样对待
Think of the customer as a friend.
我很想哭 可是我办不到
I want to cry, but I can’t.
是因为舍曲林[一种抗焦虑药]吗 霍洛维兹医生
Is it the Zoloft, Dr. Horowitz?
是舍曲林的原因吗
Is it the Zoloft?
我的脸扭曲成痛哭的模样
My face squeezes into that crying contortion you all know so well
却无法挤出一滴眼泪 我需要眼泪
but nothing comes out. I need tears.
可我的双眼却仿佛干涸的枯井
It’s like not being able to come.
我需要眼泪把我的
I need tears to tear me
灵魂撕成两半 让我逃出这个噩梦 但是
in two and let this nightmare escape, but…
噢 呃
Oh. Um…
无论如何 一定要保持微笑
Anyway, yes, don’t forget to smile.
一个微笑也许会影响别人的一天 何乐而不为呢
It makes a person’s day. And what does it cost you?
微笑是免费的
A smile is free.
不 不 这样不行 该怎么做
This is not working. This is not working. This is not working.
整个世界正在分♥裂♥
The world is falling apart.
总统是战争的罪魁祸首
The president is a war criminal.

Boo!
美国正在走向灭亡
America is going down the tubes
而你们却在这里谈论着什么智能设计
and you’re talking about goddamn intelligent design.
他们已经设计摧毁了
They’ve intentionally destroyed
整个公共教育系统
the public education system
因为愚蠢的工人和士兵
because it’s easier to manipulate
更好控制
dumb workers and soldiers.
你在说什么瞎话 永远支持我们的军人
There’s no need for that! Support our troops!

Eh?
噢 呃
Oh, um…
我还以为这是关于客户服务的讲座
I thought this was about customer service.
呃 要风度翩翩
Uh, be personable.
记住要保持自信
Remember to believe in yourself.
相信你的公♥司♥
Believe in your company.
还有你的产品和服务
And your products or services.
我每晚都会浑身冒冷汗
I sweat onto my pillow every night.
我觉得我出了非常非常严重的问题
I think there’s something very, very wrong with me.
要态度友好
Be friendly.
没错 这又能让你损失什么呢
Yes, what does it cost you?
寻找每一个个体的特殊之处
Look for what is special about each individual.
在对话中着重关注这些特点
Focus on that during your conversation.
人们常常忘记 生命是有限的
Our time is limited. We forget that.
死亡终将到来 这就是人生
Death comes, that’s it.
很快我们就会消失地无影无踪
Soon it’s as if we never existed.
所以 记得要微笑
So, remember to smile.
记住这世上一定有个特殊的人存在着
Remember there is someone out there for everyone.
值得你去爱
Someone to love.
记住和你交谈的每一个人都是需要爱的
Remember every person you speak to needs love.
记住
Remember to…
爸爸 爸爸 爸爸
Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!
强击手
Slugger!
你给我带了什么礼物吗
What’d you bring me?
-在袋子里 -让我看看 让我看看
-In the bag. -Let me look! Let me look!
-他还挺会抓重点的 -是啊
-He gets right to the point. -Yeah.
嗨 亲爱的
Hi, honey.
-就是这个吗 -没错
-Is this it? -Yup.
-这是什么 -一个玩具
-What is it? -A toy.
这是个娃娃 是给女孩玩的 是个女生娃娃
It’s a doll. It’s for girls. It’s a girls’ doll.
-不 不 这是个玩具 是个古老的木偶 还会动呢 -不 不 这是
-No, no. It’s a toy, an antique. It moves. -No, no, it’s…
它看上去很蠢极了 而且脸还破了
It’s stupid, it’s stupid, and the face is broken.
这是个古董 小强击手 瑕疵是它的魅力之一
It’s an antique, slugger. That’s part of its charm.
不 我不明白 我不明白
Nah, I don’t get it. I don’t get it.
这些单词是什么意思
What are these words here?
我也不知道 这是日语
I don’t know. It’s in Japanese.
按一下按钮 它能动的
Press some buttons. It moves.
你还给我买♥♥了别的礼物吗
What else did you get me?
不好意思 我没有
Well, I didn’t get you anything else…
惊喜
Surprise!
上帝啊 吓死我了
Jesus! That scared me!
欢迎回家 亲爱的 这是一个惊喜派对
Welcome home, honey. It’s a surprise party.
我不 这些人是谁
I don’t… Who are all these people?
迈克尔 很高兴见到你
Michael, it’s great to see you.
耶 噢 谢谢
Yeah. Oh, thanks.
-他们是谁 -大家都来了 亲爱的
-Who are they? -It’s everybody, honey.
它在干嘛 老爸
What’s it doing now, daddy?
我一个人也不认识
I don’t recognize any of them.
-迈克尔 你怎么样 -噢 不错 不错 你好吗
-Michael, how are you? -Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, how are you?
-老爸 什么东西从这玩具里流出来了 -我不知道
-Daddy, what’s coming out of the toy? -I don’t know.
天啊 迈克尔 看上去像是精♥液♥
God, Michael, it looks like semen.
我不知道 我在商店里买♥♥的 我什么都不知道
I don’t know. I just got it at a store. I don’t know.
妈咪 什么是精♥液♥啊
What’s semen, mommy?
只是一种液体 亨利 只是一种普通的液体
It’s just a liquid, Henry. It’s just a liquid.
迈克尔 你知道我们爱你吗
Michael, do you realize that we love you?
亨利
Henry.

Me.
这儿的所有人
All of us here.
你是谁 唐娜

你的评论可以尖锐,也可以湿疣!