宿醉2（2011）

你好 这里是斯图亚特·普瑞斯医生诊所
Hi, you’ve reached the office, Dr. Stuart Price.
请注意 诊所在二十四号♥前歇业
Please note the office will be closed until the 24th.
如果有紧急情况 请试着…
If this is an emergency, please try…
你好 我是斯图亚特·普瑞斯医生
Hi, It’s Dr. Stuart Price,
我要结婚了
I’m getting married.
所以我会出国两周
So I’ll be out of the country for 2 weeks.
我不确定那里是不是有信♥号♥♥
I’m not sure if I’ll have cell service.
如果是牙科急诊…
If this is a dental emergency…
没接通
Nothing.
爸爸 拜托 你这是在帮倒忙
Daddy, please! You’re not helping!
我看着他的眼睛 他不是个男子汉
I looked into his eyes. Not the eyes of a man.
而是个懦夫
The eyes of a coward.
抱歉
Excuse me!
-比尔 -崔西
– Bill! – Tracy!
-对不起 -你们死哪去了
– I’m sorry! – Where the hell are you?
历史又重演了
It happened again!
别开玩笑 拜托了
Don’t say that, please!
不 这次我们是真的玩完了
No, this time we really fucked up.
说真的 你们仨是怎么回事
Seriously! What is wrong with you three?
说来话长 崔西 我都不知道该从何说起
So much, Trace, I don’t even know where to begin.
天哪 有多糟
Oh god! How bad?
-不会要取消婚礼吧 -好吧
– Like, no wedding bad? – Yeah…
比那还要糟
A little worse than that.
宿醉
一周前
你真该多用着点牙线
You really need to floss more.
呸 那我还来这干嘛
Fuck that! That’s why I come here.
那你就常来 别两年只来一次
Then you should come more than once every two years!
怎么 想把我的钱都榨干吗
Why? So you can bleed me of all my money?
我没收过你半毛钱 菲尔
I never charge you a dime, Phil!
-你给我麻醉吧 -你用不着
– Hey, how do I work the nitrous? – Ah, you don’t actually.
得了 就用一下
Come on! Just one hit!
牙齿补得很好 还有其他问题吗
Fillings look pretty good. Any other problems?
有 事实上 你准备在泰国结婚
Yeah, actually. You’re getting married in Thailand.
首先 我得为自己和史黛芬买♥♥机票
For starters, that’s flights for me and Steph.
那要两千块
That’s two grand right there.
其次我岳母要照料小孩
Then my mother in laws watching the kids.
现在她老和我絮叨这事 头都大了
So now she’s got this whole new thing over my head.
另外 还得花五天时间才能到那边
Plus, takes five days to get there.
只要十六个小时
It’s a 16 hour flight.
你到了后会发现那里非常美
And it’s beautiful when you get there.
-不管怎样 这是自找麻烦 -是有点远
– Whatever, it’s a hassle! – It is kinda far.
罗伦已经去了一周了 还没调好时差
Lauren’s been there a week and she’s still jet lagged.
但她父母都在那边
But it’s where her parents are from
这对他们来讲意义重大
and it means a lot to them.
谁管她父母 她爸爸讨厌你
Who gives a shit about her parents! Her dad hates you!
他不讨厌我 他只是从来不和我讲话
He doesn’t hate me! He’s just never spoken to me…
我想这是因为文化差异
…I think it’s a cultural thing.
你为什么不能像上次那样
Why can’t you just get married in Vegas
在赌城结婚 那要简单多了
like you did the last time. It’s so much easier.
你为什么就不能替我高兴
Why can’t you just be excited for me?
这是我的婚礼
This is my wedding!
-你真的很开心吗 -我真的很开心
– You’re really happy, huh? – I really am.
好吧
Alright…
那我也很开心
…I’m happy too.
-谢谢 -会很有趣的
– Thank you! – Gonna be fun.
菲尔 把处方放回来
Phil. Put the prescription pad back.
谢谢 你知道那是犯罪吧
Thank you. You know that’s a felony right?
去死吧你
Fuck you, man!
-塞你蛋蛋那里了 -没错
– Was this right up against your scrotum? – Yep.
-天哪 我刚想起来 -怎么了
– Oh my god, I just realized. – What?
-我忘记把护照延期了 -不是吧
– I forgot to renew my passport! – Oh, no…
好消息是我上周已经弄好了 在厨房♥抽屉里
Good thing I did it last week. It’s in the kitchen drawer.
-你真棒 -我们是一家人
– You’re the best! – Hey! We’re a team!
你是个好男人 真正的好男人
You’re a good guy. Like a really good guy!
谢谢夸奖
Thank you!
所以我知道你不会生气了
So I know you’re not gonna get mad.
生气 为什么 生什么气
Mad? What, mad at what?
艾伦发现我们要去泰国参加斯图的婚礼
Alan found out that we’re going to Thailand for Stu’s wedding.
怎么
So?
他心碎了 道格 你们就像他的家人
So he’s heart broken, Doug. You guys are like his family!
不 你的家人才是他的家人
No. Your family is like his family.
艾伦成天都在谈论你们仨
All Alan talks about is the three of you.
-还有那周末 -等等
– And that weekend. – Wait a second…
就是他在不停地打电♥话♥挂电♥话♥吗
Is he the one who keeps calling and hanging up?
他不高兴时就会这么做
He does that when he’s upset.
他不明白为什么不邀请他
He doesn’t understand why he’s not invited.
你能说服斯图吗 去跟他说说
Could you just run it by Stu? Just run it by him.
为了我
For me…
他妈的不可能 绝对不可能
No fucking way! Absolutely not!
斯图 他难受死了
Come on Stu, it’s killing him.
坦白讲 我本来都不打算邀请你们俩
Honestly, the two of you were barely invited.
我明白 我真理解 只是 你知道吗
I get it. I really do. It’s just, you know what…
艾伦把你当成最好的朋友
Alan considers you to be one of his best friends.
我觉得艾伦就是个神经病
I consider Alan to be insane.
斯图 就算帮他个小忙吧
Stu, throw him a bone!
我们已经说过了
We’ve already said
他自已承担饭费和所有打碎的东西
he’s got to pay for everything he eats and everything he breaks.
而且 我们还可以看看
You know what. We should see
是否能从老头子那里敲点单身派对的费用
if we can squeeze the old man to cover the bachelor party.
-很好 -我很高兴你提起这个话题
– That’s good. – I’m glad you brought that up.
-因为 这就是单身派对 -什么
– Because… this is the bachelor party! – What?
你说什么呢
What are you talking about?
是的 这就是我的单身派对
Yeah, it’s my bachelor brunch!
敞开点吧 吃些巧克力薄煎饼
Go crazy. Get some chocolate chip pancakes…
让服务员跳个大腿舞
A lap dance from the waitress…
扯淡
That’s bullshit!
你不能就这么跳过单身派对 斯图
You can’t just skip out of a bachelor party, Stu.
你们看到那个了吗
You see that?
那是橘子汁 上面盖着餐巾纸
That’s orange juice with a napkin on top.
知道为什么吗 这样就不会有人拒绝我
Do you know why? So nobody will refuse me.
我♥干♥嘛要在单身派对上不肯吃哈密瓜啊
Why I refuse to eat fucking cantaloupe at a bachelor party?
斯图 你不觉得你有点过分吗
C’mon Stu. Don’t you think you’re over reacting?
不 我没觉得
No, I don’t.
我还在把我破碎的心一片片粘合起来
I’m still putting the pieces of my broken psyche back together.
你知道谁是粘合剂吗
And you know what the glue is?
是罗伦 我不会冒险搞砸这次婚礼
Lauren! I’m not doing anything to screw that up.
拜托 要不是因为我们
Oh, please. You wouldn’t even be
你都不会和她在一起
with her if it wasn’t for us.
那可真是好极了
Oh, this’ll be good.
斯图 好好想想
Stu, think about it!
你和梅丽莎分手
You ended up ditching Melissa,
两年后你遇见了情投意合的爱人
and two years later you met your true soul mate.
你要是在堵城迷失了自我
You take Vegas out of that equation,
你就会娶一个淫♥妇♥
you would have married a cunt.
没关系 我可以说这种话 这是单身聚会
Oh that’s ok. I’m allowed to say it. It’s a bachelor party.
大家喝起来吧
Drink up everybody.
等等 这里没酒
Oh wait, there’s no alcohol!
我忘了 我们他妈的在煎饼店里
I forgot we’re at a fuckin IHOP!
我已经决定了 庆祝一下怎么样
Well, it’s my decision and it’s final, so… how bout a toast?
真没劲 我到车里等你们
This sucks. I’m gonna wait in the car.
得了 菲尔 你去哪
C’mon Phil, where you going?
道格 我真是不明白
Doug, Doug, I just don’t get it!
他就要在泰国结婚了
He’s getting married in Thailand!
对他来说再好不过 但我们呢
That’s great for him, but what about us?
你真自私 来吧 亲爱的
You’re selfish! Come on, sweetheart…
你真讨厌
Shame on you!
别担心 斯图
Don’t worry Stu.
不论发生什么事我都支持你
I will stand up for you no matter what.
谢谢
Thank you.
但你得帮我解决艾伦这件事
But you gotta help me out with this Alan thing.