It got the Professor!
教授被控制了！
Wait, why am I screaming? It got me too!
咦，我叫什么叫啊？我不也被控制了嘛
Stop! In the name of love!
我以爱的名义，命令你们停下来！
请在此拴好蜥蜴
事故救援电♥话♥ 800-XXX-XXXX
车尾：请投置广♥告♥
Crud. We maybe the last two normal people on Earth.
太糟了，我们可能是地球上最后的幸存者了
At least I don’t have to trim my elbow talons anymore.
至少以后再也不用处理肘部的老茧了
I’m scared. And I miss Kif.
我好害怕，我好想念基夫啊
It’s okay to cry, Amy. Come here. I’m wearing absorbing shoulder straps.
哭出来就好了，艾米。哭吧，没事，我的背心是吸水型的。
Hm. What an erotic display of girl-on-girl consolation.
好暧昧啊，看得我心都动了
– Zapp? – Hurry Leela. We don’t have much time to begin repopulating Earth.
扎普? – 莉拉，赶紧的，我们还得重新繁衍整个人类呢。
Go brush your teeth. I’ll be waiting for you naked under this ?kissodiller?
你先去刷牙，我在这等你
Stop resisting the brethren. Don’t you want to be a part of something bigger than yourselves?
不要负隅顽抗了，你们难道不想成为庞大生命的一部份吗？
Like a big crazy monster?
比方说庞大的怪物
So we got her, eh? Bring her in!
看来我们抓到她了？带她上殿！
Do it already!
早准备好了，阁下
Hello, Coleen.
好久不见啊，科琳
Fry, please! If this is about your futon, I sold it to pay the phone bill that you skipped out on!
弗莱，求你了。我只不过卖♥♥了你的蒲团 去缴你欠下的电♥话♥费罢了
… 笑话热♥线♥ … 合计 $6♥4♥21.12
Coleen wasn’t satisfied with me, were you, Coleen?
科琳，你对我仍心存不满，对吧
Come on, Fry, this isn’t cool.
弗莱，别闹了，这一点都不好玩
She had her four other boyfriends,
她除了我之外居然还有四个男友，
I guess she never thought I’d become Tentacle Pope of the World!
她根本不知道我会当上神教教主！
You know what? It’s true!
对，你说的都对！
You weren’t enough for me.
你确实满足不了我
Not one man is. You were great,
一个男人根本不够。你很伟大，
But you weren’t Chinese, you weren’t Cameroonian,And you certainly not a King of Karaoke as you so often claimed.
但你不是中国人，也不是喀麦隆人，而且你绝对不是卡拉OK之王。
And if your ego can take that, then you don’t deserve to be a Tentacle Pope of anything.
如果你连这些现实都接受不了，你就根本不配当教主
Oh yeah, Coleen? Well I’ve got one thing to say to you.
原来你是这样想的，科琳。我只有一句话要说
I completely agree.
我完全赞同
You… you what?
什……什么？
Why should you be satisfied with one man when love needs to share itself with the whole universe?
爱应该与全宇宙的生物分享，而不只是 和一个男人，你是对的
Wow, Fry, you know, that’s really beautif…
弗莱，你说的真是太对了……
Love the Tentacle, honey.
宝贝，要学会爱上触角哦。
I do love the Tentacle.
我爱触角
Come on out, guys, there’s enough love for everybody!
大家可以出来了，每人都可以分到足够的爱
We’re trapped!
我们被困住了！
Help! Help! Is anyone out there?
请求支援，请求支援！ 有没有人来帮帮我们？
Bender to Leela, I read you.
我是班德，已接收到你的请求，莉拉
Wassup, big boots?
怎么了，大靴子？
Bender, we need a place to hide.
班德，帮我们找个避难所吧
– Pleease! – Pretty pleease!
求你了！- 求求您老人家了！
Aww, heh heh heh, you humans are so cute when you’re scared.
哈哈，你们人类害怕的时候真可爱啊
In here.
就这，进吧
My leg feels funny!
我的脚痒痒！
Humans are disgusting!
人类是极其恶心的东西
I opened one up once, I almost barfed.
有次我撕开一个人肚皮，结果差点吐了
Did you know their hair just keeps growing and growing?
你们知道吗，他们的头发居然会长个不停
My leg feels funny!
我的脚痒痒！
Leela, you’re crushing me with your rock-hard butt.
莉拉，你的铁蛋屁♥股♥顶到我了啦
Sorry.
不好意思啊
Mmm, I can only imagine rock-hard-butt Leela’s crushing me.
真是身在福中不知福啊。
Anyone mind if I turn up the heat at Ted?
我开火烤烤Ted，大家不介意吧？
Please do. I feel a cut of rust from this awful damp.
开吧，潮汽这么大，我都快生锈了。
I can’t take it! I’ve been steamed in my own velure!
我快受不了了。我穿着天鹅绒制♥服♥被烤诶
Death to humans!
杀了全人类！
My leg feels better!
我的脚舒服好多啊！
Uh.. Hi Bender!
哦，你好啊，班德!
Bender! You know these humans?
班德， 难道说你认识这些人？
Of course not!
我根本不认识他们！
Ah… Who are you humans?
啊……你们是谁啊？
And why am I pointing you to the exit?
我指给你们安全出口看干吗？
(Whispers) Go, go, go!
快跑，快跑，快跑！
Thanks for everything, Bender!
谢谢你，班德！
Death to all of you!
我发誓非杀了你们不可！
Bender. Me thinks thou protest too much.
班德，我怎么觉得你表里不一啊
It seems Bender hates humans the way I hate having my nipples polished with industrial sandpaper!
班德 讨厌人类，就好像我喜欢用砂纸擦亮自己的乳♥头♥一样
It’s ok, Bender, Toeir is…
没事的，班德，Toeir也是……
Human.
人类哦
Sir, you forget yourself.
先生，你的言行十分不妥
I challenge you to a duel on the Field of Honor.
我要跟你到荣誉场决斗 挽回荣誉
Oh my.
天呐
Leela, it’s getting dark. We may to make a tent out of any skin.
莉拉，天越来越黑了，我们必须用皮做个帐篷
Look! There’s an abandoned cavern!
看，那有个被遗弃的小房♥子
Even so.
再考虑考虑？
We’re in luck. This must have been a cavern of a soup-bootlegger like back in the days of soup prohibition.
我们走大运了。这里肯定是以前 实行禁汤令时熬私汤贩的藏身处
Oh yeah. Bathtub minestrone.
是蔬菜通心粉汤，味道好极了
Poor Kif. I can’t believe he’s gone forever.
可怜的基夫，他就这样去了
Did owe him a grief there, Amy.
艾米，我还欠他个人情
You miss him too.
你也想念他？
More than you, his mere wife could ever understand.
比你这个妻子要想念多了
He was my fourth lieutenant, for God’s sake,
他是我的第四任服侍上尉，
and Board of the Peppermill at the captain’s table.
同时兼♥职♥在用餐时给我现磨胡椒。
Really?
真的？
Oh, Amy, I miss him so! Might be a month goes by when I don’t think of him.
艾米 我太想念他了，尽管有一个月这样尝试着不去想他
But you know, in a ways, deal with this.
但你是知道的，逝者是没法复生的
Do you feel his presence?
你能感觉到他的存在吗？
I’m not sure.
我不清楚
It’s over here.
他就在这
Closer.
再靠近点
鸡味面汤
Amy! Zapp! I’ve got stuffed some fresh soup!
艾米， 扎普，我给你们准备了新鲜的汤哦
Youtube — 目前全球最大的视频网站
Sorry you had to find out like this, Leela. I was hoping you’d see it on YouTube first.
莉拉，很抱歉让你看到这种情景， 本打算先发到Youtube上让你看的
As my ex-lover, you are naturally shocked and jealous.
作为我的旧情人，你感到震惊和嫉妒是正常的
But you may will get your chance again some day.
但总有一天你可以重新与我上♥床♥的
How about today? At 4?
今天下午4点怎样？
Hey, this isn’t so bad.
被触角控制其实没什么啊
She’s right! Leela, you must try the tentacle. It’s like my soul is wearing a velour body glove.
她说得对，莉拉，你也来试试吧。感觉就 好像我的灵魂穿上了虚无的天鹅绒制♥服♥
Get off me! I’m saving my neck for a rich handsome dracula.
给我滚远点，我的脖子只留给有钱有貌的吸血鬼。
What I love most about the tentacle is that I don’t need to move my bowels anymore!
我最喜欢触角了，自从有了它，我就再不用上厕所大便了
It’s all handled by that family in Evanston.
排大便的事交给Evanston那的家族掌管就行了
No, it can’t be!
怎么会这样呢！
Leela, what’s your favorite thing about the tentacle?
莉拉，说说你喜欢触角的理由吧
Ah! You don’t have a tentacle! Get her! Give her some love!
你居然没有私人触角。抓住她，让她感受爱的存在！
You run in five minutes, Excellency. You sure you don’t want some comedy Pope staff?
阁下，再过5分钟你就要上电视直播了。 你确定不用准备些神教方面的笑话吗？
The Tentacle monster is about to address the world. It’s too serious.
严肃点，触角大人是向全世界的子民发表讲话
Hello Fry.
你好啊弗莱
Leela? How did you get passed my sumo-ninjas?
莉拉，你怎么打败我的相扑忍♥者部下的？
I told them something so shocking that they let me by.
我根本没动手，只是说了点东西
What’s that?
你说了什么？
I love the Tentacle.
我说”我爱触角”
We are rolling in three, two.. What? We’re already rolling?
直播倒计时，三，二……什么，我们已经开始直播了？
– Love the tentacle! – Love the tentacle!
我们爱触角！
Love once the monsterpus has revealed onto me its name.
自从我爱上触角怪兽，他便告诉了我他的姓名
What is our love’s name?
我们的爱人叫什么？
Yivo!
叫伊瓦(谐音Evil，戏谑)
Yivo is a lover of all beings, male and female.
伊瓦是所有生物的爱人，不管是男人还是女人
But Yivo has no gender.
但是伊瓦自己并没有性别。
Thus Yivo has proclaimed that instead of “he” or “she”
因此伊瓦希望我们用”shklee”来代替”他”或”她”
we are to use word “skhlee” and instead of “him” or “her” we are to use the word “skhlim” or “skhler”.
同时用”skhlim”代替”他” ，用 “skhler”代替”她” (前句均为主格，此句为宾格)。
Phew. I’ve been sweating in unkownclench all week.
呼，我以前居然一直不知道诶
So here’s skhlee skhlerself – Yivo!
下面我们有请 – 伊瓦！
Yeah!Yivo!
伊瓦万岁！
Attention, beings of Universe Gamma.
第三宇宙的子民们注意了
Where?
注意哪？
Here!
在这！
I had a hunch!
我早知道在哪了！
I am Yivo.
我就是 伊瓦
In your universe you are many.
在你们的宇宙里，有无数个你们
But in my universe I am one.
但在我的宇宙里，我孑然一身
For a trillion years I’ve dwelled in solitude
一万亿年以来，我一直一个人生活着
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