Plus I have a really large penis. That keeps me happy.
另外我的阳♥具♥很大 那总能使我很开心
Hey, hey, listen up, guys!
嗨 嗨 伙计们 听着!
Multiple gunshots fired in Millbrook Park.
米尔布克公园发生枪♥械♥混战
Finally, some action. I’m goin’!
终于有行动了 我要去!
No, I’m goin’! Lock and load!
不 我要去! 弹♥药♥全载!
That was strange.
那真是很奇怪.
What the hell was that?
那到底是什么?
Rold. Is that you?
罗德 是你吗?
Kumar? Are the cops still here?
古马? 警♥察♥还在吗?
What the hell are you doing?
你到底在做什么?
I just called and made up some story about a shooting in Millbrook Park.
我打了个电♥话♥ 编了个故事 说米尔布克发生了枪战
Jesus Christ, what’d you do that for? I’m fucking starving.
耶稣基♥督♥ 你做那干嘛? 我他妈的饿死了
I figured I’d bust you out and we’d go get some burgers.
我想我该救你出去 然后我们去找些肉饼
Forget it. I’m not getting into any more trouble.
别提了.我不想再惹什么麻烦了
I’m already in here because of you.
我已经因你而进这了
Hey, fuck you!
嗨 去你♥妈♥的♥!
What did you want me to do, stand there and take the hit?
你想让我怎么做? 站在这里等着挨枪子?
You know I’ve never taken a swing at you, ever.
你知道的我从来没想过给你一拳 永远都没
Well, I never got your car stolen.
好吧 我从没让你的车被偷掉
Fine. I’m leaving. Fine.
好吧 我走人 好
Harold, how do I get out of here? How the hell should I know?
哈罗德 我怎么离开这里? 我他妈的怎么能知道?
Shit! Oh, God, this isn’t good.
狗屎! 哦 上帝 这太不好了
My ass!
我的屁♥股♥!
Sure you don’t want to get out of here?
你真的不想离开这里?
And become a fugitive? Are you nuts?
变成逃亡者? 你疯了?
The guy has all my information. So what?
他们知道我的背景. 那又怎样?
We’ll just take what he wrote down about you and leave.
我们拿走他写下的东西 然后走人
Unless you want to stay here all night
除非你想整晚呆在这里
and not be able to turn in your work tomorrow.
然后明天不能去工作
Fine, hurry up.
好吧 快点
Yes! All right, we gotta find keys.
好! 好的 我该去找钥匙.
Oh, yes!
噢 好样的!
Sweet! I was hoping it would be one of these big ring of keys.
我正在想它们应该是个大钥匙圈
Kumar, hurry the fuck up. All right, yeah.
古马 快解决了这破事 好的
Yes! Dude!
好了! 哥们!
Hey, what’s that smell? What smell?
嗨 那是什么味道? 什么味道?
Kumar.
古马
If we still have time. we might still get by
If we still have time. we might still get by
Every time I think about it I wanna cry
Every time I think about it I wanna cry
With bombs and the devil. and the kids keep comin’
With bombs and the devil. and the kids keep comin’
No way to breathe easy. no time to be young
No way to breathe easy. no time to be young
But I tell myself that I’m doin’ all right
But I tell myself that I’m doin’ all right
There’s nothin’ left to do at night
There’s nothin’ left to do at night
But go crazy on you
But go crazy on you
Crazy on you
Crazy on you
Let me go crazy. crazy on you
Let me go crazy. crazy on you
Crazy on you
Crazy on you
Bitch! Learn how to fuckin’ make coffee, you fuckin’ whore!
娘们! 学学怎么弄他妈的咖啡 你个他妈的妓♥女♥!
Let me go crazy. crazy on you
Let me go crazy. crazy on you
I love you.
我爱你
No, no, no.
别 别
No, baby, come on.
不要 宝贝 来吧
Hey, Kumar. Kumar! Where are you–
嗨 古马 古马! 你在那里干–
Kumar! Still in jail, asshole!
古马! 我还在牢房♥里 混♥蛋♥!
Come here!
过来!
Kumar! The cops–
古马! 警♥察♥–
You thought you’d get away with it, huh?
你以为你逃脱了 对吗?
I was in bed. I didn’t fire any gun. I swear.
我在床上 我没有开枪.我发誓
Hey, Jackson’s trying to escape!
嗨 杰克逊打算越狱!
What are you talking about? I’m just sitting here.
你在说什么呢? 我一直坐在这里.
He’s trying to break free! Get him!
他打算强行脱逃! 抓住他!
Aw, shit.
狗屎 别动!
Stop resisting! We need backup now!
停止反抗! 我们需要后援!
He’s got a gun. That’s not a gun, that’s a book.
他有只枪 那不是枪 那是一本书
Secure the book! Book is secure.
安全的夺下书! 书本来就是安全的
You bring this filth in here? What is this shit?
你把淫秽书刊带到这里了? 这是什么狗屎?
Wait, wait. We gotta do something about this.
等等 我们该做点什么
We’re gonna teach you how to read now, brother.
我们现在该教你如何读书了 兄弟
If I were you, I’d leave as soon as possible.
如果我是你 我会尽快离开
Whose hand is that? Thanks, man.
那是谁的手? 谢谢
Jesus Christ. Thanks for getting me out, man.
耶稣基♥督♥ 谢谢你救我出来
No problem. The burgers wouldn’t taste as good if you weren’t there.
没事 如果你不在的话 那些肉饼吃起来也不会很美味
Hey, look at this.
嗨 看这个
It’s like we went from being completely poor to being millionaires.
我们就像从一贫如洗变成了百万富翁
What was that? Probably just a coyote.
那是什么? 可能是山狗
Aren’t people supposed to be scared of coyotes?
人们不该害怕山狗吗?
That’s just ’cause they sound scary, man.
只是因为它们的声音很恐怖。
In one-on-one combat, either of us
一对一的格斗话 我们俩任何一个 都可以摆平山狗 没问题的
What?
什么?
Now, cheetahs are another story.
是印度豹的话那就是另外一件逸事了
We’re gonna die. No, now hold on.
我们会死的 不 现在别动
Cheetahs are used to eating gazelles and shit.
印度豹一般吃瞪羚和屎
They’re not known for eating humans.
没听说过它们会吃人
That is a corpse. We’re gonna die.
那是具尸体 我们会死的
Shit! That’s not a good sign.
靠! 这可不是什么好征兆
Maybe if we just stay really, really still, he’ll just go away.
也许我们该一动不动 他会离开的
Okay.
好吧
Just stay really still. Don’t move, okay?
只要一动不动. 别动 好吗?
Just stay right there. Very good. Good job.
就站在这里 很好 干得不错.
This isn’t working.
这没用。
He’s mauling me! He’s mauling me!
他在撕裂我的肉! 他在撕裂我的肉!
Dude, I told you not to bring the beef jerky.
哥们 我告诉过你别带牛肉干。
He likes me.
他喜欢我
Hey, Rold, I have an idea.
嗨 罗德 我有个办法.
You gotta be kidding me, man. Uhuh.
你一定是在和我开玩笑 是吗
This is either a really smart move
这要么是最聪明的行动
or by far the stupidest thing that we have ever tried.
要么就是我试过最愚蠢的事
Well, we’re about to find out.
呃 我们会知道的
Mush!
驾!
I told you this was–
我和你说过这是–
Oy vey!
见鬼!
Dude, am I really high, or is this actually working?
哥们我是很高呢还是这真的在起作用?
Both! This is awesome!
都有! 这太难以置信了!
We’re gonna be at White Castle in no time!
我们马上就到白色城♥堡♥了!
That was close, huh, Roldy?
真危险 罗迪 .对吗?
Harold. I need you, Harold.
哈罗德 我需要你 哈罗德
I need you, Harold.
我需要你 哈罗德
Come here.
过来
Come here, Harold.
过来 哈罗德 玛利亚
Come, Harold.
过来 哈罗德 我来了 宝贝!
I want you to hold me. Papi. I need you.
我想你拥抱着我.俊男.我需要你
Baby, I’m a-comin’!
宝贝 我来了!
Not so fast.
别那么急
Watch out, watch out
当心 当心
Come on!
来吧!
Bullets–my only weakness. How did you know?
子弹–我唯一的弱点 你是怎么知道的?
Maria
玛利亚
Harold.
哈罗德
Maria.
玛利亚
Maria
玛利亚
Maria. Maria
玛利亚. 玛利亚
Watch out, watch out
提防点 提防点
Watch out, watch out
提防点 提防点
What the hell are you doing? God!
你到底在做什么? 上帝!
You’ve been out cold for the past half-hour.
你这半个小时都冰凉凉的
I figured maybe if I did some gay shit you’d wake up.
我想也许我可以做些同性恋的事 让你醒过来
If we did some gay shit? Where are we?
也许我们做些同性恋的事?! 我们在哪里?
Didn’t we come here on a cheetah? Where’s the cheetah?
我们不是做着印度豹来这的吗? 印度豹呢?
It ran away. Listen, forget about the cheetah, okay?
它跑了 听我说 别提印度豹了 好吗?
I have some bad news and some worse news.
我有个坏消息 还有个更糟的消息