他在路上 马上就到…
He is on his way. He will be here…
请各位移驾去吧台
Please, if you will all move to the bar.
我们要清场了
We are going to clear this area.
请吧
Please!
我告诉你 我和他谈过了 他会来的
I’m telling you, I spoke to him. He’s coming.
看 他们来了
Look! There they are!
斯图
Stu!
-艾伦 那里没有地方泊船 -抓稳了
– Alan, there’s no dock. – Just hang on!
-艾伦 别开玩笑 转弯 -抓稳
– Alan, it’s not funny! Turn the boat! – Hang on!
-那是艾伦在开船吗 -什么
– Is that Alan driving the boat? – What?
我们看来要靠后一点了
Uh, we should probably move back a little bit.
老天爷啊
Oh my god!
快转弯
Turn the boat!
大家往后退
Everyone back up a little bit here.
先生 好事多磨嘛
Sir, it’s gonna get worse before it gets better.
大家好啊
Hi! Hi everybody!
这次到访比我们想的要帅气些
Came in a little hotter than we planned.
很抱歉把草坪划了一道沟
I’m sorry we trenched the lawn here.
放心 会复原的 填点土就好
Totally fixable. A little bit of sod, it’ll be fine.
-宝贝儿 -天啊
– Baby! – Oh my god!
见到你太高兴了
I’m so happy to see you!
-泰迪 泰迪 -爸爸
– Teddy! Teddy here. – Hi, Dad!
-没事吧 -没事
– You alright? – Yeah, ok.
-你的手 -我知道
– Your hand! – I know.
出了点意外 我没事
We had an accident. I’m ok.
都怪你
This is your fault!
-爸 -他说得对 但从罗伦的角度来看
– Dad. – He’s right. But swich side with Lauren…
我并没有完全跟你讲实话
I have not been completely honest.
-斯图 别说 -是吗
– Stu? Don’t do this. – Yeah?
谢谢 菲尔 但是我要说
Thanks, Phil, but gonna do it.
你说我是个笑话 但我不是
You said I’m a joke.Well I’m not.
我不是什么怪里怪气 奶味十足
I’m not some weird, milky,
毫无品味 水性杨花
ricy, watery that you
那种只能讨好屁孩和老朽的人
feed to infants and old people, ok!
也许你加一点番椒我就有味道了
Maybe I would be if you added some cayenne pepper!
我希望自己是个无聊的牙医
I wish I was a boring dentist…
和一帮无聊的朋友过着无聊的生活
…who had a boring life and boring friends…
但我没有 也不是那种人
… but I don’t and I’m not.
我其实是奇怪的狼♥友♥之一
I’m actually part of this weird wolf pack.
才不怪 很酷的好吧 还不收会员费
It’s not weird. It’s pretty cool actually. No membership fees.
我听够了 过来
I’ve had enough of this. Come here.
慢 我还有话要说 伙计
Whoa! Here’s the deal man.
我有阴暗面
I got a dark side!
我心里有个恶魔
There’s a demon in me!
没错 他有精♥子♥
It’s true, he has semen in him.
英语中魔鬼与精♥子♥发音相似
我是说恶魔
I said demon.
但你也有精♥子♥记得吗
But you also have semen in you, remember?
毫不相干 但谢谢你 艾伦
– – Not relevant, but thank you, Alan.
重点是 这个恶魔
The point is, this demon takes
把我带到奇奇怪怪的地方
me to some pretty weird places.
泰迪在曼谷失踪了两天
We lost Teddy for two days in Bangkok.
但也是这个恶魔 让我们历经艰辛找到了他
But that same demon took us to hell and back to find him.
我们成功在曼谷找到了他
We took on Bangkok and we won.
如果你问我的感受 我觉得这很酷
Now that’s pretty fuckin cool if you ask me!
我爱你的女儿 我要娶她
I love your daughter, and I’m gonna marry her.
-除非你有意见 -我没意见
– Unless you have any problem with that? – I’m good.
但我说的那些话
But all that said, it would
这对我们来说意义重大
actually mean a great deal to both of us…
如果能得到你那该死的祝福
…if we could just get your mother fucking blessing!
艾伦
Hey, Alan…
-头剃得不错 -谢谢 菲尔
– That looks pretty cool shaved. – Thanks, Phil.
你也应该剃一个
You should shave your head too.
我♥干♥嘛要剃
Why would I do that?
那我们看起来就一模一样了
Well than we would look exactly alike.
-好好照顾我女儿 -我会的
– Take good care of my daughter, Stu. – I will.
抱歉那艘船差点杀死所有人
I’m sorry we almost killed everyone with the boat.
你能来太好了
Just happy you’re here.
别担心我的纹身
And don’t worry about the tattoo.
一回到洛杉矶我就用激光消灭它
I’m gonna have it lasered as soon as we’re home in LA.
-没事 我能习惯 -真的吗
– That’s ok. I can get used to it. – Really?
但现在 我们要换位吗
But for now, let’s switch sides?
-好 -谢谢
– Yeah, ok. – Thank you.
这下好多了
Much better.
亲爱的亲朋好友们 我代表斯图和罗伦
Dear family and friends. On behalf of Stu and Lauren…
欢迎你们来参加他们的新婚庆典
…I welcome all of you, to this marriage celebration.
我们今天集聚一堂
We are here today to…
我走在小巷
I walked along the avenue
意外遇见你这样的女孩
I never thought I’d meet girl like you
你这样的女孩
Meet girl like you
我远远跑去
And I ran so far away
再也逃不掉
I couldn’t get away
兄弟 能停一下吗
Hey buddy. Can you hold on for a second.
谢谢
Thank you.
喂喂 大家好
Hello? Hi everyone!
我叫艾伦·盖尼
My name’s Alan Garner.
我要感谢亚洲朋友们
I want to thank the Asiatic people
对我们的盛情款待
for allowing us in your land.
我想说的是 我在这里很开心
I wanted to say that, um, I’m really happy to be here…
我要送给罗伦和斯图一个结婚礼物
…and I have a wedding gift to present to Lauren and Stu.
我想了很多
And um, a lot of thought has gone into this…
我希望你们
…and I hope that you
和我一样开心 永远开心
appreciate it as much as I did, or going to.
好 该你们了
Okay, guys!
艾伦
Alan!
搞什么啊
What the fuck?
觉得如何
So what do ya think?
疯了 你是怎么办到的啊
That’s insane! How did you do that?
我爸打了无数个电♥话♥
My dad had to make a lot of calls.
我对迈克说你必须来
I told Mike that you gotta do it.
说为了我的三个铁哥们
It’s for my third best friend.
艾伦 太棒了 我超喜欢 太谢谢了
Alan, it’s amazing! I love it! Thank you so much!
我们只能请他一晚
We only have him for tonight.
没法请他一辈子
We don’t have him permanently.
明白
Understood!
-你在台上很能说嘛 艾伦 -过奖
– You do a lot of public speaking, Alan? – I barely?
迈克 你很棒 真的很棒
Mike, you were great. It’s true, that was incredible.
谢谢 伙计们 我真的很受用
Thanks, guys. That means a lot, really!
还有 你必须
By the way, you really need
把你那该死的纹身去掉
to remove that fuckin tattoo from your face!
明白 肯定
Yeah! On it!
最后一分钟叫你改唱
Sorry about the last minute change
很不好意思 迈克
up to the performance, Mike.
-没什么 艾伦 -怎么回事
– Don’t worry, Alan. – What are you talking about?
他本来是要唱
Well he was originally supposed
乔纳斯兄弟的《燃烧》
to sing “Burning Up” By the Jonas Brothers…
但我想起你不喜欢新派摇滚
…but then I remembered you don’t like indie rock.
伙计们 你们肯定不会相信
Hey guys. You’re not gonna believe this.
-那是你的手♥机♥吗 -对
– Is that your phone? – Yeah.
那你怎么不联♥系♥我们
How come you never tried calling us?
已经没电两天了
It’s been dead for two days.
但我充了电后发现了这些照片
But I recharged it and found all these photos.
什么
What?
-我日 -没错 真的比艳照还要劲爆
– Shit! – Yeah, some of it’s pretty messed up.
-超棒 看看 -等等
– Awesome, let’s check em out. – Whoa, whoa, whoa!
谁也不准看这些东西
No one needs to see this stuff!
得了 我可是泰森 什么没见过
C’mon man! I’m Mike Tyson. I’ve seen everything!
没事的啦
It’ll be fine.
好吧 就看一眼
Alright, we look at it once.
看了就删 无所谓
And then we delete them. It’s gonna be ok.
我勒个去
Mother fucker!

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