人生遥控器（2006）

Okay, so great. Yeah.
待会见了 拜拜
We’ll see you guys later. Okay, bye-bye.
跟你家人一起吃晚餐死不了的
It’s not gonna kill you to eat dinner with your family, sweetie.
我知道 只是我今晚要做模型
I know, I just gotta build an entire model tonight.
我是领头 – 不 我才是
I’m the leader! – No, I’m the leader!
去跟爸爸打招呼 快去
Go say hi to Daddy. Go on.
我无法整晚忍♥受这一切
I can’t take a whole night of this.
我也不打算忍♥受
And I’m not going to. – Q, R, S, T, U…
酷啊
Cool.
我可以跳过段落
I can skip chapters.
多好的一家子啊
What a family.
好了 跳过晚餐吧 下一个
All right, let’s get dinner over with. Next.
下一个
Next.
大家都吃完了 只剩你 快吃
Everyone’s done but you, buddy. Let’s go.
拜托你别再玩了好吗?
Will you stop already?
老爸的硬币魔术 我真期待不要再看了
Oh, boy, Dad’s quarter trick. I can’t wait not to see it.
终于一个人在地下室里了
Alone in my basement at last.
我该工作 设法成为合伙人? 我想是的
Should I do my work and become partner now? I think so.
开始动手吧
Let’s get to it.
迈可?
Michael? – Yo.
我们不想打扰你
We don’t wanna interrupt.
我们要走了 今晚真的很愉快
We’re taking off. Thanks for a great night.
你们跟我相处的很愉快?
You had a fun time hanging out with me?
我们很快乐 对吧?
That was… We did good, right?
晚安 儿子 我们爱你
Good night, honey. – Love you.
我长大后 小♥弟♥弟♥也长大不少 告诉你们一声
My schmeckel got bigger now that I’m older, just so you guys know that.
它反正不能变更小了
It couldn’t have gotten any smaller.
它长的就像小豆子
It looked like a little Tic Tac.
过来 我让你们大开眼界
Yeah, come here, I’ll freshen your breath.
拜拜 – 晚安 媳妇
Bye, you guys. – Bye, sweetie.
晚安
Good night, sweetie.
很不错的晚餐 老婆
Great dinner, honey.
看吧 真有那么糟吗?
See? Was that so bad?
爱说笑 我很愉快
Kidding me? I had fun.
很好 我去收拾东西 帮我看着小孩
Good for you. Can you watch the gang for 10 minutes while I clean up?
你看着吧 我有好多事要做
Can’t you? I just… I got so much stuff to do here.
你有事要做?
Oh, you got stuff to do?
我要讲鬼故事玩游戏洗碗
I got ghost stories, charades, the dishes…
还要把鸭子的头缝回去
…and then I gotta sew the duck’s head back on for Sundance…
还要缝好它的屁♥眼♥
…and fix his butthole.
干的好 老大
Way to go, champ.
真希望我有时间帮你做那些事
I wish I had time to do all that stuff.
拜托 迈可
Give me a break, Michael.
你是大人了 你排定自己的事
You’re a big boy. You set your own priorities.
我只求你十分钟 不是一整天
I’m asking for 10 minutes, not for, like, a whole day.
你不用做那么多
You don’t have to do that much.
那很难吗? 我不想再吵了
How big a deal is that? I am so tired of having this argument.
我跳过整场争执了
I skipped the whole fight.
宝贝?
Babe?
我睡不着 – 是吗?
I can’t sleep. – You can’t?
我们一直吵架 我很难过
I feel bad that we keep arguing.
我知道 别难过 好吗?
I know. Don’t be upset, okay?
我是猪头 – 你是很猪头
I was a jerk. – You are a jerk.
我爱你 – 我也爱你
I love you. – I love you too.
你好香
Yes. That smells good. – What?
别闹了 来作客的孩子会发现的
Michael. Stop it. The sleepover will catch us.
他们听不见的 好嘛
They ain’t gonna hear us. Come on.
好 静悄悄的哄我
Okay. Quietly try and coax me into it.
我得回去工作 不能直接来吗?
I gotta get back to work. Can’t we just do it?
不行 老公 拜托
No, we can’t just do it. Honey, come on.
我又没啥新花招 都是老招数
I mean, I don’t have any new moves for you. It’s the same stuff.
只要回想上一次就可以了
Just think of last time and use that.
我喜欢老招数 来嘛
I like the old moves. Come on.
好吧
All right.
这次你可以当阿亮 我当鸭子
This time you be Sundance, I’ll be the duck.
什么? 不过你得先帮我按♥摩♥
Yeah? – But you gotta massage me first.
好 我喜欢帮你按♥摩♥
Great, I love giving massages.
马上按
Massaging away here.
感觉还真好
Oh, that feels good. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
我们做了? – 是你做了
We did it? – Well, you did.
我并不想那么快结束
I didn’t want the whole thing to go that fast.
没人希望这样吧
I don’t think anybody did.
是啊我下次会补偿你的
Yeah. I’ll get you next time.
谢了
Thanks.
那明天照计划进行啰?
So we good for tomorrow?
你说什么?
What are you talking about?
晚餐时
At dinner.
你说明天一起吃午饭 然后去买♥♥你♥爸♥的生日礼物
You said we’d go to lunch tomorrow and pick out your dad’s birthday gift.
爸的礼物…
Dad’s gift is…
我是那么说没错 我会到的 – 好
Of course. I said so, so I’ll be there. – Okay.
还要按♥摩♥什么的吗? – 走开啦!
Need another massage or anything? – Oh, go away.
我要去工作了
I gotta go work.
(颜王)
颜王 我是迈可纽曼
Hey, Morty. It’s Michael Newman.
对 我能跟你谈谈吗?
Yeah, can I talk to you for a minute?
等一下 有人敲门
Hang on for a second, someone’s at my door.
你好 迈可 – 你是打哪来的?
Hello, Michael. – Where’d you come from?
你不会想知道的
You don’t wanna know.
我们去走一走吧? – 好
Can we take a walk? – Sure.
很简单 你是在自动导航状态
It’s simple. You must have been on autopilot.
自动导航
Autopilot?
快转的时候就会这样
That’s what happens to you when you fast-forward.
好 我弄给你看
Okay. – Yeah. I’ll show you.
这里
Here.
看到没? 那就是自动导航中的你
See? That’s you on autopilot.
运作正常 却没人在家
The lights are on but nobody’s home.
遥控器让你的心灵远离
The remote lets your mind skip around…
却让身体持续忍♥受无聊的事情
…but your body actually stays put for the boring stuff.
我们明天一起吃饭 买♥♥爸的礼物
We should go to lunch tomorrow and pick out your dad’s birthday gift.
听来不错
Sounds good.
她的确有跟我说
So she did tell me.
所以我在自动导航时还会说话
I’m having conversations on autopilot, then.
你不会成为焦点人物 不过是的
You’re not gonna be the life of the party, but yes.
每个人多少都会自动导航一下
Everyone goes on autopilot now and then.
最大的不同是 你有遥控器
The big difference is now you’ve got a nifty remote…
帮助你决定何时启动
…to help you decide when.
这是最棒的
This thing is the best.
对了 你老婆… 完美的脸蛋
By the way, your wife? Absolutely gorgeous.
她很棒 对吧? – 诱人的身材
She is, isn’t she? – Perfect face. Tight, rocking body.
你还好吧?
You okay?
真令人讶异 – 什么事?
Amazing. – What is?
她竟然爱上你这种猪头男
She fell for a schlub like you.
我是猪头男?
I’m a schlub?
那可不 我看到的是个帅哥
I don’t know about that, pal. I see a good-Iooking man right there.
你想看看我以前有多帅吗?
You wanna see what a stud I used to be? Yeah?
好 来看看我在认识唐娜前
All right, let’s take a look at some of the girls…
把过的妹
…I used to fool around with before I met Donna.
(女友/前任女友初次约会)
那是男的还是女的?
Is that a man or a woman?
是女的
It’s a woman.
(前女友塔犸拉 酒醉的相遇)
这是什么? 动物星球频道?
What is this, Animal Planet?
快停住 – 好
Stop. – Yes.
有时把记忆留在脑海里比较好
Sometimes it’s better to keep certain memories just in your head.
我学会了 颜王
So I’ve learned, Morty.
晚安 谢谢你
Good night. Thank you.
晚安 迈可
Good night, Michael.
我病了 快转到我病好
I’m getting sick, man. Fast-forward me till I’m better.
迈可 起床 你上班要迟到了
Michael, honey, wake up. You’ll be late for work.
什么? 已经是礼拜一了?
What? It’s Monday already?
不会吧? 没痰了?
Are you kidding me? No more phlegm?
感冒全好了?
I skipped an entire cold?