I guess you don’t want me to play black then.
当然我不要你扮演黑人
Of course I don’t want you to play black.
那就不提这个了
Okay. Just throwing it out there.
好的 不
Okay. Don’t.
好的 别那么做
Okay, don’t do that.
我知道你在干嘛
I see what you’re doing.
他们就是这么走路的
That’s how they walk.
我知道你在干嘛 很蠢
I see what you’re doing, it’s not cool.
他们就是这么走路的
It’s how they walk.
我喜欢当美国人
I love being an Americans!
美国至上
America is number one!
我来自美国
Oh, I am from U.S.A.!
我爸爸也来自美国
My father also from U.S.A.
我曾祖父参加了美国圣♥战♥
My great-grandfather fought in the American Civil Jihad.
我很荣幸作为美国人
I am very proud to be an American.
我是美国头号♥笨蛋
I am America’s number one douche.
我把他们骗了 任务完成
I’ve fooled them. Job done.
所以 宫里怎么样了
So, how are things back at the Palace?
很好 猜猜谁还住在我的客房♥里
Fine, but guess who’s still living in my guest house?
本·拉♥登♥吗
Ooh, Bin Laden?
是 奥萨马
Yes, Osama.
本·拉♥登♥每次洗澡都要把浴室淹了
Bin Laden flooding the bathroom every time he showers…
把浴垫放下来就那么难么
And how hard is it to put a bath mat down, Bin Laden?
你记得我最喜欢的跑车吗
Hey, do you remember my favorite sports car?
你是说你的保时捷
You mean your Porsche?
是 911
Yes… the 911.
911 最棒了
911, it’s the best!
所以我每天开着911在宫殿附近
So I was driving my 911 near the palace one day…
然后撞得稀巴烂
and I totally crashed!
没什么 我已经定了辆新的
It’s ok, I’ve already ordered a new one.
全新的9112012
A brand new 9112012.
当你在这儿时
You know, while you are here,
你该试着看些风景
you should try to see some of the sights…
比如帝国大厦
such as the Empire State Building…
洋基球场
and Yankee Stadium.
我想看自♥由♥女神上的烟花
And I’d love to see the fireworks over the Statue of Liberty.
你后背的伤还难受不
Hey, have your old back problems been bothering you?
它一直很糟
Oh, it’s been terrible!
糟透了以至于我给自己弄了个腰部护具
It got so bad that I made myself a back brace.
-真的 -是 看 我还穿着呢
– Really? – Yes, look, I’m still wearing it.
我的英语越来越好了
Hey, my English is getting good…
我打赌我从五数下来比你快
I bet I can count down from five faster than you can!
五 四 三 二 一
Five, four, three, two, one!
艾利森 你还好吗
Allison! Are you okay?
我 还行
I… Yes.
知道吗 你们这帮人让我恶心死了
You know what? You people, you make me sick!
在飞机上看到个中东人
You see a Middle Easterner on an aircraft
就觉得他在酝酿某些恐怖事件
and you just assume that he’s hatching some violent plot?
艾利森·伯格斯是受迫♥害♥的异见人士
Allison Burgers is a persecuted dissident,
不是杀人狂
not a murderous madman!
报案者称 他说
He was reported saying,
把兰卡斯特的警卫都请干掉吧
“Let’s take out the guards at the Lancaster.”
真巧啊 我们是往兰卡斯特送餐的
Guess what? We deliver to the Lancaster!

Good one!
也许他要带保安们出去吃沙拉三明治
Maybe he wanted to take the guards out for a falafel!
那有点老套
That’s a bit of a stereotype,
但我懂 好主意 你
but I get the idea. Great idea! Yeah. You…
知道吗 关心你的工作是种犯罪
You know what? Is it a crime to care about your job?
在瓦迪亚是这样
Yeah! Well, it is in Wadiya.
你在哪儿做的联想和敏感性训练
Where did you get your diversity and sensitivity training, huh?
斯塔西吗
The Stasi?
白人同胞谴责你
Let’s see how you feel
你对歧视性种族评判作何感想
about racial profiling when white people…
我知道我在说什么
And I know what I’m talking about
因为我主修的是女性文学
because I majored in Fem Lit!
来吧
Come on.
你在干嘛 从哪来的
Hey! What are you doing? Where are you going?
别担心
Don’t worry!
抱他们大腿你就没事了
Just suck the fatfoot of the biggest guy, you’ll be fine.
你真的在折磨我 兄弟
You’re really fucking me here, man!
这里的警♥察♥真法♥西♥斯♥主义
The police here are such fascists!
是啊 还不是在好的方面
Yeah, right, and not in a good way.
它搞得我很火大
It just makes me so mad!
佐伊 你在那儿表现得很棒
You know, Zoey, you were great back there.
谢谢 我只是
Thanks. I just…
我不知道 我只觉得很抱歉
I don’t know, I just feel so sorry
不管你去什么地方
that wherever you go in the world,
总是政♥治♥虐待的受害者
you’re the victim of police abuse.
也不总是受害者啦
Well, not always the victim.
过来 我只是很抱歉 你现在没事了
Come here. I’m just so sorry! You’re okay now.
好吗
All right?
我不会让你有事的
And I’m not gonna let anything bad happen to you.
我觉着 我们回归集体去吧 好吗
You know what? Let’s get you back to the collective, okay?
来吧
Come on.
不 再抱一下
No, a bit more.
好的
Okay.
-好了 我们走 得去工作了 -我觉得好难过
– Come on, let’s go. I need to go to work. – I feel so sad!
再抱一次 行不
Let’s do another hug, okay?
艾利森 你为什么难过
Allison, why are you sad?
审讯太残忍♥
The brutality?
你被性♥虐♥了吗
Did you suffer from sexual abuse?
对 他们很不专业地强♥奸♥了我
Yes, they raped me in a very unprofessional way.
不 我们得让你去强♥奸♥中心
Oh, no. We have to get you to the Rape Center.
你们这儿还有个强♥奸♥中心
You have a center for rape here?
太好了 我想去
Great! I’d love to go!
也许下次 你懂的
Maybe another time, you know.
租个豪华轿车 喝点鸡尾酒 带上我的强♥奸♥鞋
Hire a limo, have some cocktails, bring my raping shoes.
你能给我弄一只吗
Can you get me that one?
哪只
Which one?
写着”快来干我啊”那只
The one with the “Fuck-me hooves.”
你真怪 我现在要去换个频道
You’re bizzare. I’m going to have to change the channels now.
今天早些时候一对俄亥俄州夫妇的地狱之旅
Tour from hell for an Ohio couple earlier today when,
充满911的阴影
with shades of 911,
他们的曼哈顿天际线直升飞机旅行被
their helicopter tour of the Manhattan skyline was cut short
警方现称的”恐♥怖♥主♥义♥误会”打断了
by what police are now calling a “Terrorism misunderstanding”
一名叫艾莫·金克耶柯西顿利的男子涉嫌其中
involving a man named Emer Gencyexitonly.
艾特拉
Etra.
我们有麻烦了
We have a problem.
汉娜 那个从兰卡斯特来的家伙明早到
Hannah, that guy from the Lancaster’s coming tomorrow morning,
你把吃的带到楼下
so why don’t you take the mafroom downstairs
做个美食展示吧
and make some sort of a nice display?
我只想要一切完美无缺
I just want everything to be perfect.
佐伊
Zoey?
艾利森 怎么啦
Allison. Hi.
为了感谢你今天在警♥察♥局的义举
To thank you for what you did today at the police station,
我决定授予你个奖励
I have decided to bestow upon you a gift.
好贴心 是什么
That’s sweet. What is it?
我不知道那是什么
I don’t know what that is.
没什么 请狼吞虎咽我的小老鼠吧
It’s fine. Please, gobble up my little mouse.
我的小葡萄干很美味哟
Snack on my tiny raisin.
让她接受你津液的洗礼吧
Give her a mouth bath. Go.

Oh! No!
不 我不会那么做
No, I am not going to do that.
我有很多这个 没有很多这个
I’m getting a lot of this and not much of this…
听着 我懂你有需求 好吗
Listen, I understand that you’re having urges, okay?
好的
Right.
但你得自己解决
But you need to take care of them by yourself.
我自己 什么 怎么做
Myself? What? How?
你得自摸
You need to touch yourself.
我不自摸 你会自摸吗
I don’t touch myself. Do you touch yourself?
我想多数健康的人都会 是的

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