冒牌老爸

直到社会服务处 找到另外一个家庭领养他
…until Social Services can get another family.
这样 你也有了个
At which point, you’ll find a new way…
在公园里和女孩搭讪的好方法
…to initiate conversations with girls in the park.
对 没错
Yeah, that’s correct.
干得好 伙计
Good job, buddy!
他在自己撒尿
He’s peeing on his own.
继续 对了
Keep it flowing! That’s it!
加油 加油
Go! Go!
那么 Corinne的姐姐有名字吗?
So does Corinne’s sister have a name?
我叫Layla
It’s Layla.
Layla? 我喜欢你的歌♥
Layla? I like your song.
能帮我个忙吗?
Could you do me a favour?
能和我约会吗?
Could you hang out with me?
如果你不跟我约会 他会认为他很失败 我不想让孩子失望
He’ll think he’s a failure if he couldn’t get me a date.
真的不行
I really can’t.
我有好多事要做
I have a ton of work to do.
这样啊 等一下
I see. Hang on a second.
过来
Come here.
Layla 如果你今晚不来Sonny的公♥寓♥
Layla, if you don’t come over to Sonny’s apartment tonight…
我很可能会变成结巴
…there’s a good chance I’ll develop a stutter.
请 请 请不要这样对我
P-P-P-Please don’t do this to me.
-这招太阴了 -不行吗?
-That is so cheap. -What?
于是我现在在收费站工作
So I’m working in a tollbooth now.
我本想当一名男模
I originally wanted to be a male model…
但我不够帅 所以没成功
…but I’m not very good-looking, so that didn’t work out.
听到这个我很难过
I’m sorry to hear that.
我没事 我在恢复
I’m all right. I’m recovering.
这首歌♥我最喜欢这一段
This is my favourite part of the song right here.
如果不能拥有你
If I can’t have you
还是小声点 孩子会被吵醒的
Better keep it down low. The kid’s gonna wake up.
晚了
Too late.
好吧 就去一会
Okay. Just hang out a little bit.
我很快回来 别溜走了
I’ll be right back. Don’t go sneaking out.
-你干嘛? -你忘了说晚安
-What are you doing? -You forgot to say good night.
什么意思
What do you mean?
你不说晚安我就睡不着
I can’t go to sleep until you say good night.
我并不知道 对不起 晚安
I didn’t know that. I’m sorry. Good night.
现在睡吧 好吗?
Go to sleep now, all right?
今天对泡妞有什么心得?
What’d we learn about girls?
搭讪是成功的一半
Initiating the conversation is half the battle.
答对了 现在睡觉 好吧?
Bingo. Now sleep, okay?
哄他睡着了 他整晚都不会醒了
I gave him NyQuil. He should be out for the night.
这是Styx乐队 我从12岁开始就很喜欢
This is Styx. They’ve been my favourite band since I was 1 2.
你开玩笑
You’re kidding me.
没有 我就是很喜欢他们
No, I can’t help it. I just love them.
朋友们都笑我
My friends make fun of me.
我的朋友们也笑我 我见了他们25次
My friends make fun of me too. I’ve seen them 25 times.
Tommy Shaw16岁时 在他的演唱会上
Tommy Shaw, when I was 1 6, I was at the concert…
他伸手把我拉上舞台
…and he reached down, pulled me on stage.
我模仿了”机器人先生”的声音
I did the robot voice for ” Mr. Roboto.”
真的
Really?
不 我瞎编的 对不起
No, I made that up. I’m sorry.
要是真那样就酷了 对吧?
That would’ve been cool, right?
但我表弟的朋友认识他们的鼓手
My cousin’s friends with their drummer…
所以他们来镇上的时候 我们就一起吃饭
…so when they come to town, we go to dinner…
他们就把路上发生的故事告诉我们
…and they tell us stories from the road.
真的?
Really?
假的 我又瞎编的 对不起
No, I made that up again too. I’m sorry.
你对像60岁老头没兴趣吧?
You’re not attracted to, like, 60-year-old guys, are you?
对 我也不喜欢他们
Yeah, I don’t like them either.
我睡不着
I can’t sleep.
他睡不着
He can’t sleep.
于是兔子跑过街
So the rabbit ran across the street…
因为他以为看到了胡萝卜
…because he thought he saw some carrots.
但当他到街对面的时候
But when he got across the street…
发现不是胡萝卜 是花生
…it turned out they weren’t carrots, they were peanuts.
花生?
Peanuts?
花生是一只松鼠
The peanuts belonged to a squirrel…
带回家的
…who had taken them home from a baseball game.
然后兔子想
And then the rabbit thought to himself…
“胡萝卜 花生 也没什么区别吧?”
…” Carrots, peanuts, what’s the difference?”
于是他请求松鼠给他一点
So he asked the squirrel if he could have some.
松鼠说 “当然可以”
And the squirrel said, “Of course.”
兔子非常高兴能交到一个这么好的新朋友
And the rabbit was very happy to make such a nice new friend.
松鼠也是这么觉得
And so was the squirrel.
兔子觉得松鼠的头发很美
And the rabbit thought the squirrel had pretty hair.
还有美丽的双眼
And nice eyes also.
松鼠也觉得兔子真的很好
And the squirrel thought the rabbit was really nice too.
然后 兔子鼓起勇气
And then, the rabbit worked up his courage…
请求松鼠 他可不可以
…and asked the squirrel if he could have…
吻兔子一下
…just the littlest squirrel kiss.
松鼠认为还不是
And the squirrel thought it just wasn’t the right time…
该吻兔子的时候
…in her busy squirrel life to be kissing any rabbits…
尽管这只特别的兔子很不错
…even though this particular rabbit was very sweet.
兔子就被拒绝了 对吧?
And the rabbit got shut down, did he?
没关系 但他还在想 也许
That’s all right. But he was still thinking maybe…
Scuba Steve可以得到松鼠一吻
…Scuba Steve could get a squirrel kiss…
总得有人做点什么吧
…so somebody’s getting some action.
晚安 Scuba Steve
Good night, Scuba Steve.
晚安 弗兰肯斯坦
Good night, Frankenstein.
晚安 Sonny
Good night, Sonny.
晚安 Layla
Good night, Layla.
别一下被某个女孩迷住
Don’t get caught with any girls.
这只是第一天 有得是时间
It’s your first day. Take it slow.
2:30放学时我来接你 就在大门口
I’ll meet you after school at 2:30, right out front.
你不留下?
You’re not staying?
不行 我得去再给你弄些番茄酱
No, I gotta go get you some more ketchup.
我不喜欢这些小孩
I don’t like these kids.
我也不太喜欢 但我们给他们个机会吧?
I don’t either, but shouldn’t we give them a chance?
这样如何?
How’s this?
给你神奇太阳镜
Here are the magic sunglasses.
害怕的话就戴上 好吧?
You put them on if you feel scared, okay?
我找不到你了
I lost you.
我不知道你在哪儿 对不起
I don’t know where you are. I’m sorry.
噢 原来在这儿
Oh, there you go.
进去交些朋友吧
You go inside and make some friends.
噢 好 这个拥抱不错
Oh, yeah, that’s a good hug.
好了 进去吧 我会想你的
All right. Go inside. I’m gonna miss you.
嗨 我喜欢你的帽子
Hi, I like your hat.
你叫什么?
What’s your name?
-也可以 -留个口信
-Might as well– -Leave a message!
-也可以 -留个口信
-Might as well– -Leave a message!
Gerrity先生 我是社会服务处的Arthur Brooks有个好消息
Mr Gerrity, this is Arthur Brooks from Social Services I got good news
我们给Julian找到了一个领养家庭
We may have found a family for Julian
请尽快给我回个电♥话♥
Give me a call back as soon as possible
以便我们安排见面 再见
so we can set up a meeting Bye
山峦保护协会法务部
Sierra Club Legal Department.
我找Layla Maloney
Can I speak to Layla Maloney?
Layla 4号♥线
Layla, line four.
你是律师吗?
You’re a lawyer?
你干嘛?
What are you doing?
等Julian放学 所以想找个人一起玩
Waiting for Julian so I can have somebody to play with.
-你在干嘛? -我忙死了
-What are you doing? -I’m swamped.
我还得在午餐时间把衣服都洗了
I gotta do my laundry on my lunch hour.
我今天也打算洗衣服的 你去哪儿洗?
I was gonna do my laundry today too. Where are you going?
附近有个洗衣房♥ 叫Suds在Bleecker街
There’s a place nearby, Suds, on Bleecker.
那地方我认识 那到时在那见吧
I know that place. Maybe I’ll see you there then.
或许吧 我得走了
Maybe. I gotta go.
于是我买♥♥到了票 但表演是前天晚上的
I bought tickets, and the show was the night before
也许是弄错了
Maybe it was a mistake