冒牌老爸

-他那样说? -来吧
-He said that? -Come on.
我们来试一下 也好让我有点尊严
Let’s just give it a shot just so I can have some dignity.
好吗?
All right?
哦 我的天
Oh, my God!
真恶心
Gross!
我见证了你们的初吻?
Did I witness the first kiss?
对 没错 多谢你的出现
Yeah, you did. Thanks a lot for showing up.
Layla 你一定觉得不怎么样吧?
Layla, you didn’t actually enjoy that, did you?
不知道 我上楼了
I don’t know. I’m going upstairs.
把嘴巴洗干净 他很脏
Wash your mouth out. He’s dirty.
而且没钱
And he’s poor.
嘿 你袋子里有什么 Corinne? 鸡翅? 胸罩?
What do you got in the bag, Corinne? Some chicken wings? Booby tassels?
闭嘴
Shut up.
睡个好觉
You have a good sleep.
令人愉快的舞♥女♥
Pleasant Hooters.
快来 快来
Come on, come on!
这是我们挂外套的地方
This is where we hang our jackets.
这个钩子是我的
This is my hook.
那是只虫毛
That’s a capertillar.
一个毛虫吧
A caterpillar.
-对 虫毛 -虫毛 好吧
-That’s right, a capertillar. -Capertillar, all right.
-你有洁身自好吧? -有的
-Staying clean, pal? -Yes.
你要是喝酒 你就输了 记住 小子
You drink the booze, you lose. Remember that, punk.
我是Julian的老师 Foote女士
I’m Julian’s teacher, Ms. Foote.
-你是他父亲? -我是Kevin Gerrity
-You his father? -I’m Kevin Gerrity.
有些事情让我很困扰 你有时间解释一下吗?
Do you have some time to go over some things that have been bothering me?
当然
Sure.
去玩会儿 孩子
Go take a walk, pal.
Julian有些古怪的举动
Julian has been displaying some odd behaviour.
上周他把胶水洒在地板上却不告诉别人
He spilled glue on the floor and didn’t tell anyone.
他只是用报纸盖起来
He covered it with newspaper.
还有 一个学生穿着轮滑给我们表演
And then one of our students wore Rollerblades for show-and-tell.
Julian却扔了根木棍把他绊到了
And Julian tripped him with a stick.
我从没有
I’ve never–
Julian觉得这样很好玩
Julian found it hilarious.
我喜欢他自♥由♥的表达自己
I like him to express himself freely.
真的从来没见过他干这种事
I’ve really never seen any problems with that.
在所有孩子中 你的孩子进步最慢
Your boy’s making the least progress of any of the children.
坦白的讲 他的个人卫生也很让人关心
Frankly, his personal hygiene is becoming a cause for concern.
他是班里最臭的孩子? 我会让他变成全班最臭的孩子?
He’s the smelly kid in class? I let him become the smelly kid?
我有病啊?
What’s wrong with me?
我以前也见过身上有味道的孩子
I’ve had some smelly ones before.
但你儿子是目前为止最臭的
But your son is by far the smelliest.
好了 我知道了 放松 你要我怎么做呢?
All right, I got you. What do you think I should do?
在他身上多花点时间
Start by paying more attention to his schoolwork.
班里在准备”开国元勋”的表演
The class is giving a presentation of the Founding Fathers.
Julian扮演一个很重要的角色 本杰明?富兰克林
Julian has drawn the part of Benjamin Franklin, a very important role.
尽量帮帮忙
Do what you can to help.
我会让他改正的 我保证
I will turn this all around. That’s a promise.
非常感谢
Thank you very much.
臭东西 我们走 你惹麻烦了
Stinky, let’s go. You got us in trouble.
他叫他”臭东西”?
Did he call him “Stinky”?
哇 我不知道乔治华盛顿的这事
Wow, I didn’t know this about George Washington.
对 他的牙齿是布头做的
Yes, his teeth were made of wool.
木头
Wood.
对不起 我把”布”和”木”搞混了
I sorry. I mix up ” D” and ” L.”
嗯 改过来吧
Well, get it right.
把游戏机关了 伙计
Turn that game off, pal.
再干掉4个就过关了
I got four guys left.
我们来学习
Let’s study a little bit.
我不想学习
I don’t wanna study.
给我
Give me that.
-你把我弄死了 -那又怎么样? 一会再玩
-You just killed me. -So what? You’ll play later.
你不该告诉我该做什么
You can’t tell me what to do.
真的? 我们来投票 认为这小孩该学习的举手
Really? Let’s take a vote. Who thinks the kid should study?
认为不该的? 好 你输了 2比1
Who doesn’t? Well, you just lost, two to one.
是平局 那家伙不算 他都不识字
It’s a tie. That guy doesn’t count. He can’t even read.
我知道 他只是闹着玩的
I know. He was just joking around.
你等会好吗? 我有点事
Can you hang out here a little bit? I gotta go do something.
没问题
No problem.
你想要来玩吗
Would you like
我们跳 跳 跳 跳
We’ll hop, hop, hop, hop
你说什么
What do you say
去开门
Get the door.
你好Julian 你好吗?
Hi, Julian. How you doing?
我是Scuba Sam
I’m Scuba Sam.
Scuba Steve的父亲
Scuba Steve’s father.
是这样 我的孩子
You see, my boy…
得洗个澡
…needs to take a bath.
但问题是
The only problem is…
他不敢一个人洗
…he’s afraid to bathe alone.
所以我在想
So I was wondering…
或许你可以在浴缸里陪他
…if maybe you could keep him company in the tub.
太棒了
Terrific.
洗完澡后 你得好好学习
And after the bath, you have to try and study hard.
因为如果你想成为Scuba战队的成员 就必须很聪明
Because if you wanna be a member of the Scuba Squad, you have to be smart.
我能加入Scuba战队?
I could be in the Scuba Squad?
嗯 当然 只要你好好学习
Well, sure. All you have to do is work hard.
还有 不要告诉任何人 关于Scuba战队的事情
And don’t tell a soul about the Scuba Squad…
因为那样的话人人都要加入了
…because then everybody will wanna join.
还有一件事
And one more thing…
对那个送外卖♥♥的好点 好吗?
…be nice to the delivery guy, would you?
他不识字不是他的错
It’s not his fault he can’t read.
保重
Take care.
他让我帮他看好飞船 说他要
He told me to watch his boat for him. Said that he wanted to…
跟你谈谈秘密任务还是什么的
…talk to you about some secret mission.
我不知道你在说什么
I have no idea what you’re talking about.
我为什么非得穿泳裤?
How come I have to wear a bathing suit?
我不知道有没有什么法规
I don’t know the rules…
限制大人和小孩裸体在一起 坐下
…with little kids and grownups and being naked and just sit down.
好消息是你闻起来没有臭脚丫味儿了
The good news is you’re not smelling like a foot anymore.
我读到有趣的东西 你知道吗? 本杰明?富兰克林发明了
I read something interesting. You know Benjamin Franklin invented…
两用眼镜? 很酷吧
…bifocals? That’s pretty cool.
是什么东西
What are they?
我会给你看那本书 上面有很多有趣的东西
I’ll show you in that book.
或许对你学校的舞台剧有帮助
It might help you out with your school play.
我们要把这当做每天的功课
We’ll make this a regular thing.
洗澡 学习还有吃东西
Bathing and studying and eating right.
仰头 我奶奶就是这样给我洗澡的
Put your head back. My grandmother did this to me.
“哦 孩子 当我还是个小女孩的时候 香肠才卖♥♥5分钱”
“Oh, boy. When I was a little girl, frankfurters only cost a nickel.”
那我们还能玩吗?
Can you still have fun?
当然 不过要在你学习完后
Yeah, but after you study.
咱们还要穿不同的衣服
In fact, we gotta get you dressing differently.
等你出来 我们去Barneys
We’ll go to Barney’s.
去Barney? 不是那个Barney 是个更贵的Barney
Not that Barney. A more expensive Barney.
对 一次一张
All right, one at a time.
一张
That’s one.
两张
Two.
怎么样? 在小便池撒尿感觉也很好吧
See? Urinals are good too.
“电”
” Electricity.”
很好
Very good.
“宪法”
” Constitution.”
没错
That’s it.
“费城”
” Philadelphia.”
聪明 好
Smart. Good.
“鱼”?
” Fish”?
“小马”?
” Pony”?
“河…”
” Hip–”
“河里”
” Hiphop–”
“河豚鱼”?
” Hipopynonamous”?