离婚不分手（2012）

美国人口的百分之十都是同性恋
Ten percent of Americans are gay.
同性恋标识 多棒啊
Gay Izod. It’s great.
她没准明年这时候
She could be Lady Gaga
就能像雷帝嘎嘎一样出名 巨大的市场
by this time next year. Huge market.
你没准帮这个糟糕形象平♥反♥了
Wow. You might have turned the cock in the butt around.
插屁♥眼♥的鸡♥巴♥会很吃香的
Cock in the butt is gonna be huge.
我早上起床
I woke up this morning
我觉着也就38分
Thirty-eight points for me,
但用的都是我的瓷砖 再加50分
plus 50 points for using all my tiles.
-等等 等等 虫室 -对
– Wait, wait, wait. “Zooecia”? – Yeah.
不 那可不是个词
No, that’s not a word.
倒像我非主流表妹的名字
That’s like my hoochie cousin’s name.
我是那么高兴
I was so happy
今天会是个好日子
It’s gonna be a good day
有一天晚上我又去了这个俱乐部
So I was at this club the other night,
有个人妖打扮得跟我一模一样
and there was a tranny dressed like me.
-天哪 听起来好棒 -我知道
– Oh, my God, that’s so sweet. – I know.
那可是个巨大的称赞啊
That’s a huge compliment.
而且他还特性感
He was so hot too.
-那真是不错 -我是说 扮我扮得很性感
-Wow. That is so sweet. Ha-ha-ha. – I mean, it was still me.
-西莱斯特 -鲁伯特
– Celeste. – Rupert.
你再也没给我打电♥话♥
You never called me back.
你看 我觉得我丢了…
You know, I think I lost my…
你知道莱丽吗 这位是鲁伯特
Do you know Riley? This is Rupert.
你好 实际上我是你的粉丝
Hi. I’m actually a big fan.
彼此彼此
Likewise.
要开始了 准备好
Ahem. Get in there. Get in there.
亲爱的 我不知道
Darling, I-I can’t explain
非常温柔
Very gentle.
我们什么时候失去了方向
Where did we lose our way
这里帮我一把
Help me out here.
姑娘 这都快将我逼疯
Girl, it’s driving me insane
我知道我只需要再一次的机会
And I know I just need one more chance
去证明我对你的爱
To prove my love to you
如果你回到我的怀抱
And if you come back to me
我保证我再也不放手
I’ll guarantee I’ll never let you go
我们能否回到那些恩爱的时光
Can we go back to the days our love was strong
好了 一起唱
All right, both of us.
我不行
I can’t do it.
这个 对不起
This. I’m sorry.
你什么意思 认真的吗 为什么
What do you mean? Are you serious? Why?
我…
I, uh… Ahem.
我觉得我还是得一个人
I think I need to be alone.
-我要离婚了 -我知道你要离婚
– I’m getting a divorce. – I know you’re getting divorced.
我知道 但是我认为我得一个人面对
I know, but I think I have to do that alone.
是啊
Yeah.
我尊重你的意见
I respect that.
在你真的准备好之前不要自欺欺人
You’re not ready till you’re ready.
就顺其自然
Don’t force it.
又是那些瑜伽的思想
That’s some yoga shit.
但是我喜欢你
But I like you.
所以你准备好的时候
So when you’re ready,
如果你准备好了 给我打电♥话♥
if you’re ready, you call me.
好吗
Okay?
签在这儿和这儿
And sign here and here.
-那儿吗 -对
-There? -Yeah.
这里签首字母 这里签名
And initial here, sign here.
还有
And…
这里 签名 和这里
Here, sign, and here.
我喜欢那条领带
I like that tie.
谢了
Oh, thanks.
是用有机绿豆做的吗
Is it made out of organic mung beans?
不 实际上 是从你家垃圾翻出来的
No, actually, I found it digging through your trash.
我们离婚了
Well, we’re divorced.
对
Yep.
我们做到了
We did it.
终于把离婚搞定了
We nailed that divorce.
你现在干嘛去
What are you doing right now?
广东话啊 他们一开始说话
Cantonese voices. No respect
原来对他们的尊敬就一扫而空
for when their mouths are actually open.
天 我肯定不感兴趣
Oh, my God. I don’t think I could focus on it.
你不会的 一点都不性感 纯喜感
You couldn’t. It’s not sexy, but it’s damn funny.
真美
It’s beautiful.
你不是挺讨厌它的吗
I thought you hated it.
从来没在夜里看过
Never seen it at night.
我们只是离婚 又不是死人了 对吧
I know we just got divorced, but nobody died, right?
我不知道 只是
I don’t know. It’s just…
我只是在想怎么…
I was just thinking about how…
你是对的
you were right.
我不知道我现在在干嘛
I don’t know what I’m doing.
你爱她吗
Do you love her?
那就值得一搏
Then it’s worth fighting for.
好
Okay.
现在我知道为什么你♥他♥妈♥总是哭了
Now I know why you fucking cry all the time.
这玩意真♥他♥妈♥伤感
This shit’s emotional.
我一直试着让你明白
I’ve been trying to tell you.
幸福是你应得的
You deserve to be happy.
而且我也想让你幸福 一直都是
And I want that for you. Always.
我也是
Me too.
我爱你
I love you.
我也爱你
I love you too.
挺晚了 我陪你去开车
It’s late. I’m gonna walk you to your car.
你真该这样
You probably should.
应该的 我可不想让你
I should. I don’t want you
被交响乐团的什么人给袭击了
to get mugged by someone from the philharmonic.
好主意
Good idea.
这是保罗的语♥音♥信箱 请留言
Hey, you’ve reached Paul. Leave a message.
你可能现在又在瑜伽馆里给别的女孩名片
You’re probably giving your card to some girl in yoga right now
但是如果那招不管用的话
but if that doesn’t work out for you,
我想我已经准备好了
I think I’m ready…
在拼字游戏里赢你
to beat you in scrabble.
就这样
Okay.
在一个眼泪浸泡着的世界里
In a world of salty tears
是如此的害怕却又充满恐惧
So afraid and so full of fears
你救了我真是太好了 亲爱的
So glad you saved me, dear
拯救我 亲爱的
Save me, dear
-不好意思 先生 -怎么
– Excuse me, sir? – Yeah?
没事
Never mind.
对不起我插队了
I’m so sorry for cutting.
我的狗在车里 它真的很渴 谢了
My dog’s in the car and he’s really thirsty, so thanks.
不谢
No problem.
你永远也不会离我而去
That you’ll never ever go away
因为你 你正是我想要的 小女孩
‘Cause you oh, you got what I need, little girl
你有我想要的一切
You got everything I need
正如良药于我
You’re like medicine to me
宝贝
Oh baby huh
正是你
You got it
我沉溺在爱情之海中
I was drowning in the sea of love
再三沉入水中
Going down for the third time
你前来救了我 亲爱的
You came and saved me, dear
救了我 亲爱的
Saved me dear
你做的一切都如此美好
All the sweet things you’ve been doin’
我还没有习惯
I ain’t never been used to them
所以不要停下 亲爱的
Don’t ever stop them, dear
别停 亲爱的
Stop ’em dear
我每日心怀感激
Oh, I’m thankful every day
为你走向了我的心
That you came my way
我要确定你永远也不会离我而去
And I’m gonna make sure that you never ever go away
因为你 你正是我想要的 小女孩
‘Cause you oh, you got what I need, little girl
我想要的一切
Everything I need oh, yeah