伦敦西区,1953年
阿嘉莎克莉丝蒂的《捕鼠器》
Agatha Christie’s The Mousetrap.
我个人认为是二流的谋杀推理剧
In my opinion, a second-rate murder mystery.
其实我还没看过
Not that I’ve seen it, you understand.
但它就是在猜凶手
But it’s a whodunit.
看过一出就等于看了全部
You’ve seen one, you’ve seen ’em all.
你也知道那一套
You know the drill.
冗长的开场
An interminable prologue
介绍所有重要人物登场
in which all the key players are introduced.
你能获悉他们的处境
You get a sense of the world they inhabit,
接着最不讨人喜欢的角色就挂了
and then the most unlikable character gets bumped off.
发生命案?
There’s been a murder?
此时厌世的警探出现
Cue the entrance of a world-weary detective,
进来抽丝剥茧
who comes in and pokes his nose around.
与目击者对谈,搞错几次方向
Talks to witnesses. Takes a couple of wrong turns.
电报,佩杜拉史宾瑟,大使剧院
接着召集所有嫌疑人到客厅
And then gathers all the suspects in the drawing room
指控最不可能的家伙杀人
and points the finger at the least likely chump
因为他…
because of the way the guy,
怎么说呢…
I don’t know,
绑鞋带的方式不对
ties his shoelaces.
各位看过我们的戏,也是命案共犯
Now you’ve seen our play, you’re an accomplice to murder.
所以我们要请你们记住
And so, we ask you to remember
这是为了你们好
that it is very much in your interests
千万别告诉剧院以外的人
not to tell a soul outside of this theater who done it.
是谁干的
not to tell a soul outside of this theater who done it.
我懂什么呢?
But what do I know?
英国佬,他们反应热烈
The Limeys, they just lap it up.
此剧大获成功,票房♥火热
The play’s a smash hit.
此剧大获成功,票房♥火热
Not to mention a cash cow.
这一位就是女老板,佩杜拉史宾瑟
Right there is the milkmaid in chief, Petula Spencer.
不克出席,已送蛋糕,阿嘉莎
这是庆祝第一百场演出的奢华宴会
This lavish affair is a party to celebrate the 100th performance.
难怪制片约翰沃夫
No wonder film producer John Woolf
想把戏改编成电影
wants to turn the play into a major motion picture.
此时他搂着有点疑神疑鬼的太太
Here he is now in the arms of his slightly paranoid wife.
我感觉附近有死亡的味道
I sense that death is close at hand.
应该只是一阵冷风而已
It’s probably just a draft.
这时我上场了
This is where I come in.
在下里奥科佩尼
Leo Kopernick’s the name.
好莱坞大导演
Big-shot Hollywood director.
受雇拍摄没舞台剧那么无聊的电影版
Hired to make the film adaptation
受雇拍摄没舞台剧那么无聊的电影版
marginally less boring than the play.
如果编剧自大傲慢,就知易行难了
Easier said than done when the writer’s a giant pompous ass.
马文考克诺里斯
Mervyn Cocker-Norris.
天啊,你好高
I say, you’re rather tall.
是吗?其实我没想过
Am I? Haven’t really thought about it, to be honest.
太高才撞到吗?
Is that what happened here?
算吧,在后台出了点小意外
Sort of. I had a bit of an accident backstage.
当然,他饱读诗书,出口成章
Sure, he’s educated and he knows a lot of $10 words,
但似乎没看过电影
but it’s like he’s never seen a film before,
遑论编写剧本
let alone try to write one.
不重要的人
No one important.
有时你把那不勒斯人演得太火爆了
You know, at times you do rather overdo the temperamental Neapolitan.
外套很好看
That’s a nice jacket.
帮我端杯真正的好酒来,小子
Say, why don’t you scare me up a real drink, will you, kid?
裸麦威士忌或波本
Like a pint of rye or bourbon
否则机油也行
or motor oil, if you have to.
快去
Yeah. Hop to it, now, huh?
在英格兰,这算得上服务周到了
In England, that actually counts as good service.
战时我驻扎在这里
I was stationed here during the war
真要说的话,比起纳粹轰炸时
and, if anything, the locals are more uptight now
现在当地人来得更紧张
than when they had the Luftwaffe overhead.
马文?
Mervyn?
你不是该在家吗?我们快截稿了
Shouldn’t you be home?
你不是该在家吗?我们快截稿了
I thought we had a deadline.
我也这么想
I thought so too.
但我们尊贵的导演撕毁剧本
But then our esteemed director tore up the screenplay
叫我全部重写
and told me to start all over again.
他认为开头如果没有人惨死
He’s of the opinion that a modern audience will walk out in protest
现代观众会愤而走出戏院
if they’re not served at least one violent death in the opening frames.
表达抗♥议♥
if they’re not served at least one violent death in the opening frames.
只能说,我们正在冷战中
Suffice to say, we are no longer on speaking terms.
马文
Merv!
伦敦最敏感的作家
London’s most sensitive writer.
《捕鼠器》如何?
How is The Mousetrap,huh?
他们逮到凶手了吗?
Did they catch the guy who did it?
我不愿站在这里遭人羞辱
I will not stand here and be insulted.
我想他要去那边被人羞辱
Well, I guess he’s gonna go over there and be insulted.
我想他要去那边被人羞辱
Huh.
金童玉女来了
What passes for glamour in these parts.
席拉辛姆与狄克艾登堡
Sheila Sim and Dickie Attenborough.
这小子喜欢高谈阔论
Kid likes the sound of his own voice.
我敢赌他要发表谈话
Even money, he makes a speech.
我想我该说几句话
I suppose I ought to say a few words.
别讲太久
Not too many.
我才不会 -记得我们的婚礼吗?
And when have I ever?Our wedding, remember?
差点错过了蜜月旅行 -对
We almost missed the honeymoon.
差点错过了蜜月旅行 -对
Yes.
各位,你们太客气了
Darlings, you’re ever so kind.
我想请大家举杯
I’d like to ask you all to raise a metaphorical bat
以示庆祝
to the old pavilion.
《捕鼠器》100次演出,屹立不摇
The Mousetrapis 100, not out.
干杯 -干杯
Cheers!ALL: Cheers!
跟你说还有什么屹立不摇
I tell you what else is 100 not out.
佩杜拉的母亲
Petula’s mother.
这个怪老太婆爱吃海鲜
The old kook’s just crazy about seafood.
他们刚端出更多小龙虾
They just brought out more langoustines.
抱歉,我去处理一下
Excuse me, I just need to deal with that.
妈!拜托,你吃够多了 -嗨
Mother! Please,
妈!拜托,你吃够多了 -嗨
you’ve had quite enough.Hi.
我不爱讲别人八卦
Now, I’m not one to tell tales out of school,
我不爱讲别人八卦
but the girls over here,
但这边的女孩超迷恋美国腔
but the girls over here,
但这边的女孩超迷恋美国腔
they go wild for an American accent
渴望能收到尼龙丝♥袜♥
and the promise of a pair of nylons.
不过她们的老公…
But the husbands…
我想该有人给你一点教训
Right. I think it’s time someone taught you a lesson.
他们没那么容易摆平
…they’re not so easily won over.
我该警告你,我在皇家空军学过拳击
It’s only fair to warn you that I learned to box in the RAF.
是喔?我在健身房♥学过开飞机
Yeah? Well, I learned to fly a plane in Gleason’s Gym.
以上就是…
All of which explains, in an admittedly roundabout fashion,
以一种迂回的方式说明
All of which explains, in an admittedly roundabout fashion,
我为何来到剧院后台区换衣服
how I come to be in the theater’s backstage area
我为何来到剧院后台区换衣服
in need of a change of clothes.
有人吗?
Hello?
有人吗?
Hello?
出口
完了
Aw, jeez.
我想我早该料到的
I guess I should have seen this coming.
挂掉的总是最不讨人喜欢的角色
It’s always the most unlikable character who gets bumped off.
这是猜凶手的故事
It’s a whodunit.
看过一出就等于看了全部
You’ve seen one, you’ve seen ’em all.
看你往哪跑
李察艾登堡主演
李察艾登堡饰演卓特侦察佐
下班了
We’re closed.
走开
Clear off.
真是的
Honestly.
抱歉,长官,史塔博督察
Oh, I’m so sorry, sir. Inspector, uh, Stoppard, sir.
抱歉,我奉命不准任何人进入
Sorry, I was under strict instructions not to let anyone in.
开门就是了
Just open the door.
是,没问题,抱歉,我没认出您
Yes, sir. Of course. Sorry, I didn’t recognize you, sir.
我刚调过来

你的评论可以尖锐,也可以湿疣!