我才是经纪人 我告诉你
I’m the agent, and I’m telling you.
不跟你说了
I’m so done with you.
找开支票的人跟我说话
Get the guy who writes the checks to call me,
你这做事蹑手蹑脚的三流混♥蛋♥
You third-string, pussyfoot asshole.
黛西 我在大厅了
Daisy, I’m in the lobby.
-嗯 我在 -打电♥话♥到城♥堡♥酒店
– Okay, I’m here. – Call the chateau.
-确定下夏莫斯中午来吃饭 -是
– Make sure Shamus is up for lunch. – Yes.
-在viceroy预定两人桌 -好 没问题
– Call the Viceroy, table for two. – Sure. done.
这次 能不能订一个角落里的桌子
And this time, can we get a table in the corner?
我不喜欢后面有人
I don’t like people behind me.
-好 -那感觉很不好
– okay. – It’s weird.
-让我不舒服 -感觉是不好
– It creeps me out. – It is weird.
记下来 订桌的时候我后面不可以有人
Put that down in general. nobody behind me in restaurants.
-拖把 我办公室里有拖把 -是
– Mop, there’s a mop in my lobby. – Okay.
-别让别人握握的手 -是
– Nobody shakes my hand. – Yes.
餐厅吃饭时我的后面不能有人
Nobody behind me in restaurants.
能不能找人为我按一下电梯
And can I please get someone to hold the elevator for me?
-是 -我是不是要求太多了
– Yes. – Is that too much to ask?
当然 抱歉
Of course. I’m sorry.
-我从电梯里出来了 -好 我准备好了
– I’m out of the elevator now. – Okay, I’m ready for you.
-你看到古挪威人的踪迹了吗 -古挪威人
– You see the tracking on norsemen? – Norsemen.
黛西 男厕里有紧急状况
Daisy, it is defcon 5 in the men’s bathroom.
没有香皂了
There’s no motherfucking bar of soap in there.
-一块香皂 好 -香皂盒里没有香皂了
– Bar of soap, okay. – There’s no soap in the soap thingy.
就是一个盘子一块香皂
It’s just a fucking dish and a goddamn bar of soap.
这里是加油站吗
I mean, what is this? a gas station?
-我们要马上找人去买♥♥ -我中午的时候去买♥♥
– We got to get a soap guy in here. – I’ll do it over lunch.
但 戴夫在用那块香皂
Yeah, but Dave Levine is using that soap.
你知道他睡过多少妓♥女♥吗
Do you know how many pros he’s been with?
-嗯 -恶心
– Yeah. – Disgusting.
我们去买♥♥点香皂吧
You know what? let’s just buy some soap.
-好 -多买♥♥点
– Done. – Lots of soap.
液体皂 抗菌皂 医院级
Liquid, antibacterial, hospital grade.
我的私人专属香皂
It’s going to be my soap. private collection.
就这么办
That’s how we’re doing it.
还有什么事 告诉我
What else you got? hit me.
我戴了手套
I wore gloves.
你要给迈克尔·本恩施夫妇写
Okay. you need to send Michael Burns and his goomah
一封信感谢周五的晚餐
A “thank you” note for dinner last friday evening.
-为什么 -因为这是礼节
– Why? – Because it’s good manners.
我要你去 不 找个别人
Listen, I need you to go… no, get a guy.
找个人 实习生什么的
Find a guy, like an intern or something.
让他到这个地址 在门前大便
And I need him to go to this place and take a shit on that guy’s doorstep.
你 你是说真的吗
Wow, are you… are you serious?

Yeah.
听着 我知道你累了
Listen, I know you’re knocked up,
但是香皂一定要去买♥♥
But let’s show a little hustle on that soap.
然后安排个人去大便
And get that guy to shit on that doorstep.
是紧急任务
That is mission critical.
杰克 我们下周的
Hey, Jack, would you mind
预约可以改在5点吗
If we switched our appointment next week to 5:00…
我通常5点开始喝酒 但是…
5:00 is when I start drinking usually, but…
哦 好吧 那算了
All right, then, forget about it.
你觉得我有性瘾吗
You think I’m a sex addict?
不 我觉得你是个酒鬼
No, I think you might be an alcoholic.
我是机能性酗酒
Now, I’m a functioning alcoholic.
这点我们以前说过的 杰克
Yeah, we’ve talked about this, Jack.
这是个非常误导的术语
That’s a very misleading term.
年轻的时候 我玩过很多女人
In my day, I balled a lot of chicks, you know.
故事是真的
The stories are true.
我知道 你以前性生活方面很活跃
Yeah, I know, you’ve been sexually active, yes.
没错 我是很活跃
Damn right I was active.
真的很奇妙
Wow, it was amazing.
我10年前结了婚之后
Then I got married ten years ago.
曾经发誓金盆洗手
Promised to give all that up, you know.
不在外面拈花惹草了
Hung up my spurs. put the pony in the paddock.
嗯 你还说过你做出过承诺
Yeah, you might also put it that you made a commitment.
嗯 是的
Yeah. I did.
不和陌生女孩眉来眼去
No more chasing strange,
不玩法式摔跤
No more french wrestling.
你爱你的老婆吗
Do you love your wife?
当然 我爱死苏珊了 她非同寻常
God, I love susan. she’s amazing.
真是一流
She’s fucking incredible.
让我非常硬
Make’s me harder than chinese algebra.
我爱我的老婆 我爱巴黎
I love my wife. you know, I love Paris.
我就是不想以后都生活在那里了
I just wouldn’t want to live there the rest of my life.
就是性瘾 医生
It’s a fucking addiction, doc.
我是说真的 我就是性上瘾
I mean that literally. I’m addicted to fucking.
-你没有性瘾 -真的吗
– You are not a sex addict. – Really?
你今后感觉受到诱惑的时候
Look, if you are beginning to have feelings of temptation,
我们可以找个方法去应对
We can find ways for you to cope.
我这点比你想的早 医生
I’m ahead of you on that, doc, okay?
我已经找到应对方法了 我有个朋友
I think I’ve found a way to cope because I got this friend, okay?
就叫他海军上将吧
We’ll call him the admiral.
他是世界级性♥爱♥大♥师♥
He’s a world-class cocksman.
我是说世界级
When I say “world-class,”
他见过的妞比去过的厕所还要多
I mean this guy sees more puss than a litter box.
另外 医生
And, doc…
我♥干♥了件事
I do this thing.
说吧
All right.
我早上打电♥话♥给他
I call him in the morning
他告诉我前一天晚上的事
And he tells me what went on the night before.
就是描述性经历
Kind of a “coitus discriptus” kind of thing,
然后我
And then I…
嗯 就手♥淫♥
You know, butter the corn.
自♥慰♥
Punch the clown.
用块牛肉 知道我得意思吗
A little beef “strokinoff.” you know what I’m saying?
-我明白 -嗯
– I got it. – Yeah.
这就是病
I mean, that’s the disease.
这就是性瘾
That’s the addiction.
这是错的 对吧
That’s wrong, right?
杰克 听着
Look, jack.
如果给你那个海军上将朋友打电♥话♥
If you find that this strategy of phoning up your admiral friend
能够令你对妻子始终忠诚
Is helping you to stay faithful to your wife,
这样就没什么奇怪的
Then it’s not weird.
但是你得承认自己对性上瘾
But you have to start to admit you are an alcoholic.
-这只是本能 -别说了
– functional. – let’s stop it.

No, l…
我回去就开始禁欲
I want to get back out there and lock crotch.
医生 帮帮我
You got to help me, doc.
我很害怕
I’m afraid.
我想再次体验男子汉的感觉
I want to feel like a man again, you know?
杰克 我们认识这么久
Jack, I’ve known you a long time.
你居然提出让我为欺骗
But did you just ask me to give you permission
你太太来支招
To cheat on your wife?
是的
Yeah.
很高兴见到你
Good to see you again.
最近怎么样
How are you doing?
挺好 你呢
I’m okay. how are you?
你看起来精神不太好
Hey, you look a little worse for wear.
是啊 没怎么睡觉
Yeah, well, I haven’t been sleeping much.
怎么了
What’s going on?
大家都坐下吧
Let’s all sit down
聊一聊
And talk.
亨利 这一年你过得很艰难
Henry, you have had a damn tough year.
大家全都来了
We are all here, all of us,
我们关心你
Because we care about you.
你对药物上瘾
You have a drug problem.
-james 我知道了 -请让我讲完
– I got it, james. – excuse me, I’m speaking here.
我曾经容易发怒
I was addicted to anger.

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