住货车的女士（2015）

好了，我买♥♥齐了
All right, I’ve got everything.
柠檬果子露，肉汤，小瓶威士忌
The sherbet lemons, Cup-a-Soup, the miniature whisky.
那是治病用的
That’s medicinal.
那个社工似乎很通情达理
Well, she seemed very understanding, the social worker.
还不够通情达理
Not understanding enough.
我问她要辆轮椅，她给了我什么？
I mean, I ask for a wheelchair, and what does she get me?
一根拐棍
A walking stick.
她还说除非我有住址，不然就没补贴
And she says I don’t get an allowance unless I get an address?
“格洛斯特新月街的货车”，这难道不是地址？
Look, “The Van, Gloucester Crescent”. Isn’t that an address?
不行，得是房♥子才行
No! It needs to be a house.
一个住所
A residence.
反正，我很快就要走了
Anyway, I might be going away soon, possibly.
去哪儿？
How long for?
可能去布朗德斯泰斯
Broadstairs, possibly.
为什么？你有家人在那吗？
Why Broadstairs? Have you family there?
没有
No. No.
你有家人吗？
Have you got any family?
我就是想呼吸新鲜空气
I just need the air.
今天早上我看到一条蛇，往车道去了
I saw a snake this morning. It was coming up Parkway.
一条长长的灰蛇
A long grey snake.
可能是条蟒蛇
天呐 – It was a boa constrictor, possibly. – No.
好像有毒
It looked poisonous.
它一直贴着墙
It was keeping close to the wall,
我觉得它是朝着我的货车来的
and I have a feeling it was headed for the van.
谢帕德女士
No, Miss Shepherd…
安全起见，我还是提醒你一下
I thought I’d better warn you, just to be on the safe side.
我曾多次遇到蛇，都是死里逃生
I’ve had some close shaves with snakes.
听我说谢帕德女士，卡姆登镇不会有蟒蛇
Listen to me, Miss Shepherd, there are no boa constrictors in Camden Town.
什么，你的意思是我骗你？我认识蟒蛇
What, are you calling me a liar? I know a boa constrictor when I see one.
你好吗，亲爱的，看来今天很开心啊，甜心
You all right, my love? Looking especially lovely today, sweetheart.
别叫我“甜心”
Don’t “sweetheart” me.
我是个病人，可能快死了
I’m a sick woman! Dying, possibly.
淡定，亲爱的，我们都会死的
Well, chin up, love, we all gotta go sometime.
闻起来跟死人一样
Smells like you already have.
我还是不相信有蛇，更不信它会爬向货车
I do not believe in the snake, still less that it was en route for the van.
只是第二天，我才知道宠物店被抢了
Only next day, I find there has been a break-in at the local pet shop.
所以可能真的有一条蛇在窜逃
So, there may have been a snake on the run.
老天
Good God.
当然，我觉得很愧疚
So, of course, I feel guilty.
吉尔斯！
Giles! Giles! Giles!
真正的作家会向她打听与蛇狭路相逢的经历
A real writer would have asked her about her close shaves with snakes,
只是她好像快要离开了
only she seems to have cleared off.
快点下车
Quick as you can, love.
我正在下，别催我
I’m getting off. Don’t rush me! Don’t rush me.
睡衣？
Nightie?
这才不是睡衣
This is not a nightdress.
看来布罗德斯泰斯还不流行这种穿衣风格
This style can’t have got to Broadstairs yet.
我懂法律，穿睡衣不会被逮捕
And I know the law. You can’t be arrested for wearing a nightie.
你在布罗德斯泰斯做什么？
What’re you doing in Broadstairs?
我有事情要办！
I am minding my own business!
阿兰，快出来
Alan! Come out here!
怎么了？
What for?
有好些大鸟停在墙上
There’s some massive birds on the wall.
墙上没有鸟，那是你的幻想
There never are. There’s nothing on the wall. You’re imagining things.
真的有
There are.
花♥园♥墙上真的有四只庄园来的孔雀并排停着
And there were, lined up on the garden wall, four peacocks from the Hall.
街上的蟒蛇，墙上的孔雀
So, boa constrictors in the street, peacocks on the wall.
就好像在我生命的南门和北门
It seems that both at the northern and southern gates of my life
各站着一位故弄玄虚的女人
stands a deluded woman.
不过你刚说她们不是
不是什么 – Except you just said they aren’t. – Aren’t what?
不是骗子
目前不是而已 – Deluded. – Well, not in this particular instance.
阿兰，妈妈和谢帕德女士不一样
And they’re not the same, Alan. Mam and Miss Shepherd.
是不一样，但她们都是老太太了
No, Alan, they are not. But they are both old ladies.
她们都会成为我写作的素材
That appears to be my niche apparently.
我的同龄人喜欢记流水账
Whereas my contemporaries lovingly chronicle
对异性的初次调查
their first tentative investigations of the opposite sex,
或者在新闻界的传奇经历
or their adventures in the world of journalism,
我仍写着老女人的故事
I’m stuck with old ladies.
好吧，我会继续写这该死的东西
All right. I’m keeping a sodding notebook.
只是希望渺茫
But only on the off chance.
她不是研究对象，也不在计划中
She’s not a project. She’s not in the pipeline.
我不想写她
I don’t want to write about her. She’s…
她的出现只是日常
She’s just something that’s happening.
那你想写什么？
So, what do you want to write about?
我想写间谍
I want to write about spies.
间谍？
Spies?
你觉得写俄♥罗♥斯♥间谍很愚蠢
Yeah, you see? You think that’s barmy. Spies, Russia.
但我不能总是写英国北部的故事
I can’t always be writing about the North.
“我在利兹出生并长大，我的父亲是个屠夫”
“I was born and brought up in Leeds, where my father was a butcher.
“当我还是个孩子时，经常骑自行车出去送肉”
“And as a boy, I would often go out on the bike with the orders.”
这不是普鲁斯特，连J.B. 普利斯特列都不是
It’s not Proust. It’s not even J.B. Priestley.
新月街的房♥子是为维多利亚时期
的中产阶级而建的花♥园♥别♥墅♥ The houses in the Crescent were built as villas for the Victorian middle class.
现在一群未来的自♥由♥派扩建了房♥子的地下室
And their basements are now being enlarged by couples who are liberal in outlook,
但他们不安于自己新得的财富
but not easy with their newfound prosperity.
换个词说，愧疚
Guilt, in a word.
他们都在或多或少地容忍♥谢帕德女士
Which means that in varying degrees, they tolerate Miss Shepherd.
因为她的出现让他们心有所安
Their consciences absolved by her presence.
圣诞节快乐！
Merry Christmas!
关门！
Shut the door!
关门，我忙着呢
Shut the door. I’m a busy woman. I’m a busy woman.
焦糖布丁
Crème brûlée.
你的第一部戏剧是关于什么的？
What was your first play about?
公学，你们美国人叫私立学校
Public school. Which, more accurately, is what you Americans call private school.
但你并没有读过公学
But you didn’t go to public school.
没有，但在书上读过
No. But I read about it.
你的下一部戏剧准备写什么？
And what was your next play about?
性，我也读过关于性的书
Sex. I read about that, too.
非常好
Very good.
停下
Stop it! Stop it! Just…
离我们远点！是她！
Get away from us! It’s her!
你是不是有病？
Do you have a problem?
他们在制♥造♥噪音
他们还是孩子！ – They were making the noise! – They’re children!
我是个病人！
I am a sick woman!
你确实有病！
You certainly are!
快走啊，看什么看？
Go ahead! Road hog.
巴尼特先生，我想到了一个上广播的好办法
Mr Bennett. I’ve worked out a way of getting on the wireless.
什么？
What?
我想做档听众来电节目
I want to do one of those phone-in programmes.
像你这样的人立马就能听到的那种
Something someone like you could get put on in a jiffy.
人们可能会称呼我
You see, I could be called
“窗帘背后的女人”或者“不列颠女人”
the “Lady Behind the Curtain”, or “A Woman of Britain”, you see.
你可以把这当作笔名
You could take a nom de plume view of it.
我看可以把帘子挂在这
And I see the curtain as being here.
绿色的帘子就可以
You see, some greeny material would do.
不是听众来电节目吗？
I thought this was a phone-in.
是的，怎么了？
Yeah, well?
那是广播，不需要什么帘子
Well, it’s the radio. There’s no need for a curtain at all.
时机成熟了这些问题自然能够解决
Yes, we can iron out these hiccups when the time comes, you see.
我进来时，就能跟上文明的进度
And when I come in, I can catch up with some civilisation.
“文明”？你是说电视吧
“Civilisation”? What, you mean the television?
是啊，动物世界，饥荒
Yeah, you know, wild life. Famines, you know.
训练牧羊犬，我都看
Sheepdog trials, possibly. I mean, I do watch.
我透过柯瑞思家电的橱窗看，但不方便
I watch in Currys’ window, but it’s not ideal.
米其林餐厅 法国
嗯
Yes.
哪次大战
What guerre?
我那时在巴黎匿名学习
I was studying incognito à Paris.
你学什么？
But what were you studying?
音乐
Music.
钢琴
The pianoforte, possibly.
你有锅刷吗？我想把货车粉刷一下