我爸要去那做生意 就把我们全家都带去
My father has business to take care of, so he is takeing the whole family.
你可以带条眼镜蛇回来吗 这样我可以教它跳舞
Can you bring back a cobra? I want to teach it to dance!
醒醒啊 你们那些家伙在那里干什么
Wake up! What are you guys doing over there?
接住球 接住球 快射门
Get the ball! Get the ball! Oh, kick it!
射门
Kick it!
佩蒂·法雷尔 你太纯爷们儿了
Patty Farrell. You are the man!
哈佛雷伊 跑得不错 下次要跑对方向
Nice running, Heffley, just have to work on the direction.
哇 霍莉·希尔斯比全明星的布莱斯还棒
Wow, Holly Hills is better than Bryce, and he is an all-star.
我确定你们那球技会给她留下很深的印象
Well, I’m sure your soccer skills made a great impression on her.
-趁热打铁快把她追到手吧 -小菜一碟
-Go strike while the iron is hot. -You’ll see.
等你从印度回来的时候 她就是我的妹子了
When you come back from India, she will be hanging out with me.
我很希望这会成真 格雷格
I would love for that to be true, Gregory.
这会大大鼓舞俺们这些矮穷龊的
It would provide hope for us smaller boys everywhere.
但是事实是那样的女孩是不会和
But girls like that just don’t hang out with
我们这样的男孩在一起的
guys like us.
听着 你不用再担心
So, listen, you don’t have to worry about
参加我的魔术表演了
being in my magic show anymore.
我已经请和我一起上空手道课的斯考第做我的助手了
‘Cause I got Scotty from my karate class to be my assistant.
斯考第 那个看起来才像8岁的人
Scotty, isn’t he like eight?
他是快到8岁了
He will be eight.
-上车 -为什么 你在这里做什么
-Get in. -Why? What are you doing here?
老妈说如果我把你从学校载回家 她就给我钱
Mom said she’ll pay Mom Bucks, if I drive you home from school.
-我们宁愿走路 -上车 赶紧
-We’d rather walk. -Get in! Now!
-座位怎么都没了 -我需要为新器械腾出地方来
-What happened to the seats? -I needed the room for my new equipment.
-你怎么有钱干这些呢 -你知道的…
-How’d you have the money for that? -You know…
妈妈钱币啊
Mom Bucks!
不可能的 他只能赚到五美元…
There is no way. He only earned like, five…
我们要想出一首歌♥ 在达人秀比赛上表演
We got to figure out what song we’re playing at the talent contest.
放轻松 还有魔鬼尿布呢
Easy, Devil’s Diper.
唱民谣 那行吗 咱们是要众人喝彩的
A ballad? Really, dude? We got to lift them out of their seats!
-我想到了 -就唱爆♥炸♥尿布
-I got it. -Exploding Diper!
开慢一点 开慢一点
Slow down, guys! Slow down!
这个妈妈奖励计划一点都不管用
This Mom Bucks thing isn’t working out.
现在罗德里克可以边欺负我边拿钱了
Now Rodrick can get paid for beating me up.
老妈 你怎么又写我的事了
Mom, why are you writing about me again?
让孩子知道诚实最重要
这太丢脸了
It’s embarrassing.
怎么 你知道诚实对我来说有多重要
What? You know how important honesty is to me.
对了 罗利 有个好消息
And, Rowley, good news.
我给你妈妈打过电♥话♥
I called your Mom.
她同意你下周末
And she gives her permission for you,
和我们一块去玩岩石激流
to come with us to Rockin’ Rapids next weekend.
在世界上最大的水滑道上玩整整两天
Two days on the biggest water slides in the world.
会很棒的
It’s gonna be great.
谢谢 哈佛雷伊太太
Thank you, Mrs. Heffley,
但是我想待在家里练习魔术
but I think I’d like to stay home and practice my magic act.
我只是想让我的魔术更完美些
I just want to perfect my art.
好吧 我们到楼上去
Come on. Let’s go upstairs.
老妈 我可以用你的电脑做作业吗
Mom, can I use your computer for homework?
为了做作业 对吗
For homework, right?
是的 当然 只是做作业
Yeah, definitely. Homework only.
对不起 哥哥
I’m sorry, Buddy.
这是什么
What is this?
这是曼尼给你的礼物
It’s a gift from Manny.
他亲手做的
He made it for you
他想为弄坏了你的游戏机道歉的
because he wanted to say he was sorry for breaking your viedo game.
这不是很可爱吗
Is not that cute?
看着很危险 万一我不小心坐上面怎办
It looks dangerous. What if I sat on that thing?
格雷格 你要干什么
Greg! What are you doing?
告诉曼尼你喜欢这个礼物
Tell Manny you love his gift.
你真幸运 没有亲兄弟
You’re so lucky you don’t have any brothers.
你就像我的亲兄弟一样
You’re kind of like my brother.
我们现在不是应该
And shouldn’t we be looking up things
为你的作文《一百年前》找资料吗
for your “hundred years ago” assignment?
她看起来好像都100岁了
She looks like she was born 100 years ago.
但愿她没事 听起来伤得很重
Oh, I hope she is okay. She sounds pretty hurt.
你在开玩笑吗 她可是名人 听说是个百万富翁的
Are you kidding me? She is famous and I heard she’s a millionaire.
坠落的女士
我真希望自己是她 你知道她这是装的吧
I would love to be her! You do know she was faking it?
-是吗 -当然
-Really? -Of course.
每个人都可以成为网络名人 我们也行
Anyone can be an Internet sensation. We could.
-我在听 -你只要发挥所长就行了
-I’m listening. -You just have to work with what you got.
歌♥词
♪Wake up in the morning,♪
歌♥词
♪feeling like P. Diddy.♪
歌♥词
♪Grab my glasses on, I’m out the door, I’m gonna hit this city.♪
歌♥词
♪Before I leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack.♪
歌♥词
♪’Cause when I leave for the night, I ain’t coming back.♪
歌♥词
♪I’m talking, playing our favorite CD’s.♪
歌♥词
♪Pulling up to the parties,♪
歌♥词
♪Trying to get a little bit tipsy.♪
好 三 二 一 倒
Okay, three, two, one, fall.
看起来太假了 需要做得逼真一点
It looks fake. It has to look real.
但是如果我真往后倒了 那就不是假装啊
But how do I fake it if I’m actually falling backwards?
也许你需要样道具 好吸引注意力
Maybe you need a gimmick, so people notice you.
噢 把这个戴在头上
Oh, wear this on your head.
现在再来一遍
Now, do it again.
为什么不是你坐在椅子上向后倒呢
Why can’t you be the one that falls backwards in the chair?
因为把内♥裤♥戴在头上的那个人不是我
Because I’m not the one wearing the underwear on my head.
歌♥词
♪Tick tock, on the clock. But the party don’t stop.♪
如果我摔断了胳膊 那滋味真的不好受…
Remember when I broke my arm? That didn’t feel good at…
真不敢相信 你一屁♥股♥就坐在了那牙签球上
I can’t believe you sat on the tinfoil ball!
我们要发财了
We’re going to be rich!
好 罗利 别动 等一下
Okay, Rowley, hold still. wait.
我的电脑不是只给你做作业用的吗
My computer was supposed to be for homework only.
你对我撒谎了 你知道我多么厌恶撒谎的
You lied to me, you know how I feel about that.
老妈 从现在开始 我会百分之百诚实的
Mom, from now on, I will be 100 percent honest.
好吧 这种诚实大约持续了一周
Well, that lasted about a week.
老妈对于百分百诚实的我并不是很欣赏了
Mom somehow didn’t appreciate the completely honest version of me.
爷爷 生日快乐
Happy birthday, Grandpa!
明年我想要一个巧克力蛋糕
Next year, I want a chocolate cake.
如果明年您还活着的话
That is, if you are alive next year.
格雷格
Greg!
实话实说罢了 老妈
Honest, Mom!
老妈 家长教师协会的吉尔曼夫人电♥话♥
Mom, it’s Mrs. Gillman from the PTA.
-告诉她我不在 -这是撒谎 而且…
-Tell her I’m not here. -But that would be lying, and…
我已经不再撒谎了
I don’t do that anymore.
很抱歉 吉尔曼夫人 我妈妈现在不在房♥子里面
I’m sorry, Mrs. Gillman, but my Mom isn’t in the house right now.
周末时 我总是尽量远离我的哥哥或弟弟
On weekends I try to stay as far away from my brothers as possible.
但是周日上午 我无计可施
But on Sunday morning, I have no choice.
便便
Poopy!
-格雷格 那看上去像是糖果棒 -曼尼
-Greg, It looks like he has a candy bar on there. -Manny!
-弗兰克 你得想想办法 -好的 我帮他擦一擦
-Frank, you’re gonna have to do something. -Yeah, I’ll get a reg.
-老爸 快停下 -快好了
-Dad, stop it. -Hold still.
好了 让我看看
All right. Let me see.
很好 几乎看不出来
You are fine. Can’t even tell.
裤子上有大便的印子 我不想进去
I’m not going in with a poop stain on my pants.
好吧 但是你不能错过做礼拜
Okay, well, you can’t skip church.
不 我不要这样子进去
No, I’m not going in like this.
好吧
Fine.
歌♥词
♪He made them every one.♪
快走
Go.
歌♥词
♪All things bright and beautiful.♪
歌♥词
♪All creatures great and small.♪
歌♥词
♪All things wise and wonderful.♪
你干什么 快走
What are you doing? Go.
歌♥词
♪The Lord God made them all.♪
请坐
Please be seated.
今天 在此
Let me just say how,
看到这么多笑脸 我十分高兴
gratifying it is to see so many smiling faces here today.
母亲和父亲…
Mothers and fathers…

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