I think what happened was I had forgotten
别把我的号♥码给外人
to tell my parents not to give my number out.
所以那些人是先找到我爸妈…
So it was people who had tracked my parents down.
而我又有个棘手的毛病 我不想伤害别人的感情
I have this terrible problem. I really hate to hurt people’s feelings.
-嗯 是啊 -于是我就做了点手脚 跟个懦夫似的
Mmm, right. So I did somethin’ kind of cowardly.
-撤下自己的号♥码跟懦夫没关系 -还是有点的
No. I don’t think unlisting your number is cowardly. Kind of is.
我还换了自己的号♥码 以保证这些人没法再找到我
I changed my number so these folks couldn’t find me anymore.

Right.
其中有个温哥华的电脑操作员
There was this computer operator from Vancouver.
他住在地下室
He was living in a basement or something.
他的故事很动人 他非常非常痛苦
I found him very moving. He was in terrible, terrible pain.
他想从你这儿得到什么
What did he want from you?
不清楚 我试探着问他的时候
It’s unclear. And when I would, sorta like, ask him,
他倒生起气来了这就有点吓人了
that’s when he would get angry, and then it got scary.
是啊 这是什么 这是谁画的
Right. What-What is this? Who’s the artist?
我朋友的女儿 她管我叫蠢蛋
That’s my friend’s daughter. Calls me chicken head.
我也叫她蠢蛋
I call her chicken head.
这是她最新的反击
It’s her latest salvo in the war.
很好玩 你介意我…
Um, that’s funny. Would you mind if I…
-不 做你必须做的吧 -谢谢
No. Do what you gotta do. Thank you.
听着 在我们开始录音前 我得跟你确认点事情
Listen, before we start putting stuff on tape, I need to ask you something.
不管我说了什么 但凡后来我请你不要写进文章里的
I need to know that anything that I say five minutes later not to put in,
你得保证你确实不会写进去
that you’re not gonna put it in.
当然
Absolutely.
我最近累得够呛 频频搞砸事情
Just given my level of fatigue and my fuckup quotient lately,
我感觉要想继续下去 这是唯一的办法
it’s the only way I can see doin’ it
否则我要疯掉的
and not… not going crazy.
完全可以理解
No. I completely understand.
-立马就开工了哈 -嗯
It’s right back on, huh? Mmm.
额 你答应了接受采访的
Uh, you agreed to the interview.
所以这条路没错吧
So this is your road, huh?
没错
Yeah, this is my road.
要转弯了你跟我说下 我开惯笔笔直的路了
You’re gonna have to tell me where to turn. I’m used to a grid system.
对这种弯弯绕绕完全不熟
This is all new territory for me.
也是 你就直走个一公里左右
Fair enough. You just go straight for about a mile.
右手边会有学校的路牌
There’ll be signs for the school on the right.
明白了 你喜欢在那儿教课吗
Got it. Do you like teaching there?
是啊 非常喜欢 不过这正是麻烦所在
I do. Yeah, very much. Which is what’s so fucked.
-我为这些孩子们感到抱歉 -为什么抱歉
I feel so bad for these kids. Why do you feel bad for them?
他们有世界上最好的写作指导老师啊
They have the greatest writing teacher in the world.
如果我在那里 也许吧 但过去两周里面
If I was there, maybe. The whole fuss…
我都在忙这些乱其八糟的事 没回过学校
It’s taken me out of school for the past two weeks.
而明天我们又得走了
And we gotta leave again tomorrow.
明天破晓我们就得起床赶去机场
We gotta be up at the crack of dawn to go to the airport.
-靠 必须么 -你自己撞上的枪口啊 兄弟
Oh, shit. Do we really? That’s what you signed on for, man.
当然如果你想留在屋子里
You’re welcome to stick around
写写我的狗狗们那也完全没问题
and write an article about my dogs.
-不 没事儿 -那可能还更有趣点 我跟你保证
No, that’s just fine. Might be more interesting. I promise you.
帮你自己个忙 别指望会有什么火花四溢的课堂讨论
Do yourself a favor. Don’t expect any fireworks in there.
我肯定你会讲得很好
I’m sure you’re gonna be just fine.
校园爱情故事
Campus-romance story.
啊 我得老实跟你们讲
Ah! I gotta tell you guys,
对一般大众来说 这没多大吸引力啊
the average citizen is not gonna find it that interesting.
写作课教授的噩梦啊
The great dread of creative writing professors?
“越过啤酒桶 他们的目光相遇了”
“Their eyes met over the keg.”
我只是想让故事的叙述者 显得风趣机智些
I just want my narrator to be funny and smart, you know?
我懂 我明白的
I know, I know. I get it.
你想让叙述者显得风趣又机智
You want your narrator to be funny and smart.
给你个建议
Here’s a tip.
让他时不时讲些风趣又机智的话出来
Have him say funny, smart things some of the time.
谢谢
Thank you.
写得不赖
You did a good job. Thank you.
下一个轮到谁了 梅丽莎
Um, all right, who’s next? Melissa.
我发誓 通常我的课堂表现 要比刚才那个好得多
I’m normally a much better teacher than that, I swear.
我觉得你刚才挺好的 他们显然很喜欢你
I thought you were great and that they obviously love you.
是吗 你这样想
Oh, yeah? Do you think?
拜托 你知道他们喜欢你的
Yeah, come on, you know they do.
你饿了吗
You hungry?
要来些什么饮料
And what can I get you to drink?
来一大罐健怡汽水就行
I’ll just have, like, a giant Diet Rite, please.
我也一样
You know what, I’ll have the same thing.
-汽水马上送到 -谢谢
I’ll be right back with your pop. Thanks, man.
哦 额 我可以…
Oh. Uh, can I, uh…
我能不能…马上就好
Do you mind if I… One second.
额…
Uh…
你不喝酒
You don’t drink.
这是一个问句吗
Is that a question to me?
不 是个观察的结果
No. No, it’s an observation.
哦明白了 不 我不喝酒
Ah, I see. No, I know. No, I do not drink.
你管你点 请随意
You can order whatever you want though. Go right ahead.
没事儿
No, no. That’s fine.
我有不少朋友也经历过戒酒
I have a lot of friends who have been through the program, so…
他们总是跟我说 别在他们面前喝酒
They always tell me that they’re uncomfortable…
他们会不舒服
with people drinking right in front of them.
-所以 -额
So I just… Ah.
我是说 出于尊重 我跟你点一样的就行
I mean, out of respect, I… I got what you got.
不管戒酒戒毒戒什么 我都没啥发言权
I’m not any sort of authority on any sort of program.
以一个旁观者角度 我有限的认知是
From my very limited outside understanding,
那些老资格的人不在乎的
for people who have been in it a while,
你就是在他面前 摊着手背吸白粉也没关系
you could snort cocaine off the back of your hand, they’d be all right.
是的 是啊
Right. Right. Right.
-知道我想干什么吗 -什么
You know what I would love to do, man? What’s that?
你们这群人都来写我的人物特写
I would love to do a profile on one of you guys
我也想帮你们其中一个写篇人物特写
who’s doin’ a profile on me.
-这…很有趣…-太后现代 太做作了吗
That is interesting. Is that too pomo and cute?
大概吧 对于《滚石》来说
Maybe for Rolling Stone.
但真的会很好玩的 你觉得呢
It would be interesting though. You think?
-抱歉 -怎么啦
I’m sorry, man. What’s wrong?
只是…等回到纽约坐在桌子前
It’s just you’re gonna go back to New York and sit at your desk…
这篇文章你可以想怎么写就怎么写
and shape this thing however you want.
而这一点让我感到很困扰
To me, it’s just extremely disturbing.
为什么
Why is it disturbing?
因为这篇文章会把我的形象推出去
Because I think I would like to shape
而我希望这个形象是把控在自己手里的
the impression of me that’s coming across.
我甚至还说不清 我是不是喜欢你这人
I don’t even know if I like you yet.
光操心你喜不喜欢我了
I’m so nervous about whether you like me.
汽水来了
Here you go.
吃的也马上到 还需要点些什么吗
Your food will be out soon. Can I get you anything else?
不用了 谢谢
No, we’re fine. Thank you. Thanks.

Um…
按你的想法 这篇文章的点是什么
What’s this story about in your mind?
詹恩想要什么
What does Jann want?
成为国内最炙手可热的作家是什么感觉
Just what it’s like to be the most talked about writer in the country…
-类似这种 -嗯
or that sort of thing. Right.
听起来比较
Which makes it sound…
你是怎么学会做这些事的
How do you learn to do this stuff?
-哪些事 -采访
Do what? The interviewing.
是有个采访学校么
Does one go to interviewing school?
没错 我上了八年学 采访课
Yes, I went to eight years of interviewing school.
-拿了个硕士学位 -对
So you got a master’s? I did.
不 我 额…我是个作家
Um, no. No, I’m… I’m a writer.
-哦不错 挺好的 -是啊
Uh, okay. Great. Yeah.
我也写小说 我…
I mean I write fiction as well. I…
实际上 刚出版了一本小说
I just had a novel published actually.
-很棒 -嗯
Great. Yeah.
书名叫什么
What’s… What’s that called?
-《艺术集市》 -《艺术集市》 不错
The Art Fair. The Art Fair. Great.
几年前 额 还出过一本短篇集
And I had a collection published a few years ago, so…
你这家伙容易紧张啊
You’re, like, a nervous guy, huh?
-不 不 我还好 你怎么样 -我可吓尿了
No, no. No, I’m okay. How are you? I… ‘Cos I’m terrified.
-真的吗 -是啊 你可不是一个人在战斗

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