Burt.
伯特
What? don’t.
啥 别这样
Why?
怎么了
Come back up here, I want to kiss you.
到上面来 我想吻你
No, come on. I want to do this. I’m staying down here.
不 我想这么干 就待在下面
Okay.
那好吧
Just don’t blow. what?
这是别往里吹气 啥
Don’t blow.
别吹气
Why would I blow?
我为啥要吹气
I don’t know why you do anything you do, burt.
你做的很多事我都搞不明白 伯特
Just don’t blow.
别吹气就行了
Okay. just stop moving. okay? okay.
好吧 别动了 行吗 好的
You’ll love it.
你会喜欢的
All right, no more talking.
好吧 我不说话了
What’s wrong?
怎么了
Nothing.
没事
Why’d you stop?
你怎么停了
I’m just trying to figure out how to say what I’m about to say.
我不知道该怎么说
Why do you have to say anything?
你为什么现在说话呢
You taste different. did you know that?
你那儿味道变了 你知道吗
No, burt. how would I know that?
不 伯特 我怎么会知道
Just get up here.
上来吧
Okay? I don’t want to keep talking to the top of your head.
好吗 我不想对着你的头顶说话
Do you want me to shower? no, no.
你要我去洗个澡吗 不 不用
You don’t taste dirty. you just taste different.
不是不干净的味道 只是味儿变了
Like, kind of fruity.
有点儿水果味
God. Wait.
老天 等一下
Did you know a woman can taste different
你知道各种辅助因素会影响
depending on various co-factors?
女人那儿的味道吗
I don’t want to hear that.
我不想听
And I thought that we agreed you wouldn’t use the word “co-factors.”
不是说好你不再用”辅助因素”这词吗
No, I said I wouldn’t misuse it.
不 我说的是不再乱用
All I’m saying is, from what I’ve read about vaginal flavor…
我是说 根据我对阴♥道♥口味的研究
Jesus! …from what I’ve read,
天哪 根据我的研究
Abrupt changes can happen when a woman’s either menopausal
这样的突变不是因为进入更年期
Or…
就是
Burt?
伯特?
Oh! good, you’re awake.
你醒了
What are you doing?
你在干嘛呢
Cobbling.
“修补”
I really want to be that dad that knows how to make stuff out of wood.
我很想当那种会做木活的老爸
You know?
知道吗
I just want our kid to wake up in the
我想让咱们的孩子早上起来
Morning and walk out on the back porch
晃悠到房♥后的走廊上
And find me cobbling.
看见我正在”修修补补”
You know, that’s not what it’s called.
不是这么叫的
Yeah, it is.
怎么不是
Burt, cobbling is shoes.
伯特 “修补”是指鞋
That’s why the people that make shoes are called cobblers.
所以做鞋的人才叫修鞋匠啊
You’re not cobbling, you’re carving.
你那不是修补 是在雕刻
Or possibly whittling.
或者说在削木头罢了
Good morning. morning.
早啊 早
I got this great book on knots.
我买♥♥了本教打绳结的好书
300 knots, and I’m gonna learn them all.
300种绳结 我都要学下来
And I still have to build that kiln. man, you gotta be ready.
我还得挖那个窑子 要干的还真不少
You remember, we go to your parents’ house this afternoon?
你没忘咱下午要去你♥爸♥妈那儿吧
Yeah, you know, I pushed that because I have
记得 我今天有家庭防卫课所以
family defense class today.
我就跟他们说晚点去
Yeah. does everybody there dress like that?
好吧 那儿人都穿成这样吗
Hey, where are those goggles you had?
你的那副防护眼镜呢
My airbrush ones? yeah.
我喷漆用的那副 对
You can’t use them. got them.
不能给你用 找到了
Burt.
伯特
All right. I will be back at 3:00.
行了 我3:00就回来
Maybe a little later if I get into some hand-to-hand combat.
要是陷身肉搏战可能会晚点
Okay, bye. bye.
好吧 再见 再见
They look like the california raisins, remember?
他们看起来像加州葡萄干 记得吗
The big bodies, the little legs and the sunglasses.
身子肥腿细 还带着墨镜
Lovely.
挺可爱的
It’s so bad. I really wish you could see this.
太搞笑了 我希望你能看看
You want to hear the pregnancy rap? it’s even worse.
想听听怀孕说唱吗 更搞笑
You get much more from your pelvic floor
尿道伸伸 肛♥门♥缩缩
When you pass on the bagel and do one more kegel
让我们一起做盆底运动
Jesus christ.
老天爷
Tell me, do I have to be this uncool for the rest of my life?
告诉我 我以后一直都得这么烦人吗
What are you doing? you’re talking to me while you’re exercising?
你在干嘛 边和我聊天边做运动?
No, I’m just watching it.
没 我只是在看
I have this subdural hematoma thing due friday.
我有张”硬脑膜下血肿”的图周五就要交了
I’m trying to finish it before we go out tonight.
打算我们晚上出去前画完的
Out? you two? where?
出去 你们俩 去哪儿
Dinner at burt’s parents’.
到伯特父母家吃饭
They must be out-of-their-minds excited.
他们肯定高兴疯了
Yeah, you know them.
对啊 你知道的
I think they’re probably happy to be the only set of grandparents
他们肯定高兴没有姥姥姥爷跟他们抢
And have the baby to themselves.
孩子全归他们带
Don’t say that. you’re lucky to have them so close.
别那么说 他们住得近对你们多方便啊
I know, I know. we’re gonna lean pretty hard on them.
知道 知道 我们可少不了依靠他们
You know I’d be there if I could.
我是能的话就去了
I hate that I’ll be so far away.
帮不上你忙我心里真不舒服
I know.
我明白
Who do you think she’ll look like?
你觉得她会长啥样
God, I hope she doesn’t have burt’s…
我希望她别长着伯特的…
What, facial hair?
啥 脸毛
Feet.

Those feet. square feet.
那双脚 大方脚
Like seal flippers.
跟海豹脚蹼似的
Oh! shit, I just gave this guy’s brain a vulva.
妈的 我给这人脑子开了个阴♥户♥
I really want her to have an epic kind of childhood.
我希望她有个传奇式的童年
I want her to run along streams and know how to work a canoe,
整天沿河疯跑 还会造独木舟
Be able to entertain herself outside.
在外头也能自娱自乐
I want her childhood to be huck finn-y. you know?
我想让她像哈克·芬那样 明白吗
Yeah. I had that.
明白 我就是那么长大的
Yeah, exactly.
对 就那样
Burt farlander.
伯特·法兰德
You old so-and-so.
你这老家伙
I’m sorry about your pacers, my friend.
你的马真不幸 哥们
Hey, if you think mike dunleavy can carry more than a bucket of water,
你如果觉得你的马能驮几桶水的话
I got some florida swampland you might be interested in. yeah.
你觉得你倒可以把佛罗里达的沼泽地买♥♥下来
That’s loud.
声太大了
No, real good price.
不 挺便宜的
Yeah. yeah.
对 对
Oh! that one gets me every time. yeah.
这笑话百听不厌
Well, I’m glad you called. yeah.
很高兴你打过来
You’re too much. all right, I will. bye.
真受不了你 好 我会的 挂了
They expect that from me.
他们希望我这样
They expect you to sound like casey kasem.
他们希望你的嗓门像凯西·卡塞姆
Verona, most of these guys are in their 50s and 60s.
瓦罗娜 这些人♥大♥多都五六十了
We’re talking about millions of dollars in insurance futures.
保险期货交易动辄上百万
They don’t want to be dealing with
他们可不想跟个大学没毕业的33岁
Some 33-year-old that didn’t finish college.
毛头小孩谈生意
So, casey kasem finished college?
凯西·卡塞姆就大学毕业了吗
Yeah.

This next longdistance dedication… no.
下一封来信是… 不
Goes out to a really special girl. the letter reads,
送给一个特别的女孩 信上说
“dear casey, my name is burt, and my girlfriend’s pregnant and frustrated.
“亲爱的凯西 我叫伯特 我女友怀孕了情绪低落
“could you play a song that will make her smile? thanks.
“你能放一首让她开心的歌♥吗 谢谢
Signed, burt farlander.”
署名 伯特·法兰德”
Your pregnant girlfriend’s gonna kill you.
你怀孕的女友饶不了你
Go away.
讨厌
Thanks, casey.
谢谢 凯西

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