希德姐妹帮（1988）

She belly flopped in front of a car,wearing a suicide note.
她身穿遗书，肚皮着地，正好倒在一辆车前面
-Is she dead?
她还活着吗？
-No, that’s the punchline.
她没死，这才好笑呢
She’s alive, and in stabile condition.
她还活着，而且情况稳定
Just another example of a geek trying to imitate the popular people at school, failing miserably.
只不过又是一个试图模仿名人还不幸失败的傻♥逼♥罢了
Is that pate?
是肉酱吗？
-I said I was sorry!
我已经道过歉了!
-You were out of control!
你真是疯了！
I mean, Heather and Kurt were a shock,but Martha Dumptruck?
我是说，希德还有柯尔特的死才算是大新闻，但垃圾车玛莎？
Get crucial. She has dialed the suicide hotline since she was in diapers.
要知道，她自打从娘胎里出来就一直在打自杀热♥线♥
-You’re not funny.
这一点也不好笑
-Look.
听着
Martha couldn’t take the heat, so she got out of the kitchen.
玛莎忍♥不了热，所以她就从厨房♥里出来了
Just think what a better place this world would be if every moron followed her cue.
她还以为如果所有蠢货都跟随她的脚步，世界就会变得更美好
-Shut up. Hot Probs is on.
闭嘴，热点专线要开播了
-Oh, shit, yeah.
啊见鬼，对耶
-It’s like Skip is Ok, but still,sometimes I feel like I’m on that island…
我是说，跳着读也可以，但有时候，我真的想待在那个岛上
And Gilligan can just be so stupid sometimes.
但有时候，《梦幻岛》又很蠢
-Well, dude, just remember: if it wasn’t for the fearless crew,
好了，老弟，记着：要是没有那些勇敢无畏的船员
the minnow would be lost, and you are too.
小鱼都会在那里迷路，你也一样
-Next call!
下一位！
-这位听起来很了不得
-你的得力帮手来了!
-My name is Heather.
我叫希德
No, it’s not Heather.
不，我不叫希德
No
不
It’s Madonna.
我叫麦当娜
Jeez, no, not that.
天哪，不，也不是
-Hey babe, I need a name.
嘿老妹，告诉我你的名字
-My name is Tweety.
我的名字是翠迪
-Tweety? Oh, tweet!
翠迪？好吧，翠迪!
-God has cursed me, I think.
我感觉我被上帝诅咒了
The last guy I had sex with, killed himself the next day.
上一个和我做♥爱♥的人在事后第二天就自杀了
I’m failing math, my whole life is a mess.
数学挂科，我的生活一团糟
I was supposed to be captain of the cheerleading team…
我本应是啦啦队的队长的
-She knows we listen to this show…
她知道我们会听这个广播
-Holy shit! We’ll crucify her!
见鬼！我要把她钉死在耻辱柱上！
-My parents are divorced and stuff…
我父母离婚了…
-Heather told everyone about Heather.
希德把希德的事闹得满城风雨
Yes, dear diary.
是啊，亲爱的日记
I cut off Heather Chandlers head,and Heather Dukes head has sprung right back in its place,
我砍掉了希德.钱德勒的头，希德.杜克的头却又在同一处探了出来
like some mythological thing my eigth grade boyfriend would have known about.
这像极了我初二时的男友说的神话
Heather’s even doing the old note trick.
希德甚至还在玩传小纸条的老把戏
I’ve seen JD’s way.
我已经看透了JD的把戏
I’ve seen Ms Pauline Flemings way and nothing has changed.
我也看穿了波琳.弗莱明老师的把戏，什么都没有变
I guess that’s Heathers way.
我猜这就是希德的把戏
And Jesus, what about JD?
上帝啊，JD怎么样了？
I can’t get him out of my head!
他在我脑中盘旋不去！
Wait. Where’s Heather going?
等等，希德要去干嘛？
-Where’s Heather going?
希德要去哪儿？
-She’s going to cry!
她要去好好哭一场!
-Fucking child protected caps!
去他的儿童防护盖
-Where’s she going?
她又要去哪儿？
-Heather!
希德！
-What are you trying to do? Kill me?
你想干什么？要我的命吗？
-What are you trying to do? Sleep?
你又想做什么?长眠不醒吗？
-Suicide is a private thing.
自杀是一件私人的事
-Heather, you’re throwing your life away to become a statistics in the US fucking A Today.
希德，你要放弃自己的生命，成为美国自杀率中的分子
That’s about the least private thing I can think of.
这是我能想到的最不私人的事
-What about Heather and Kurt and Ram?
那希德，柯尔特还有兰姆呢?
-If everyone jumped off a bridge, would you?
如果所有人都从桥上跳下去，你也会这样做吗？
-Probably.
很有可能
-If you’re happy every day of your life, you wouldn’t be a human being,
要是你每天都开开心心的，那你就不是人了
you’d be a game show host.
你就成了游戏节目的主持人
-What do you say we knock off early and buy some shoes or something lame like that?
等会儿我们早点放学去买♥♥双鞋子什么的吧？
-OK.
好
-So it has come to this…
所以是这样的
Heather Chandler did polls, I want you to do a petition.
希德钱德勒做过问卷，我想让你发起请♥愿♥书
As a favour. As THE favour.
就当给我帮个小忙
You’ve heard of the group Big Fun, right?
你知道Big fun乐队吧？
-That’s right. “Teenage suicide, don’t do it”.
嗯，唱”青少年请勿自杀”的
-Right. Some teeny-bopper rag say they want to play a prom.
对，一些乐迷说他们想举办一场舞会
Could be Westerburg’s if we get everybody’s John Hancock.
如果能让所有人都在请♥愿♥书上前面，就能在韦斯特堡中学举♥行♥
-I’ll get right on, coach.
我马上就去办，导师
A little gift for you, I won’t be needing it.
送你一个小礼物，我再也不需要它了
-Heather?
希德？
-Veronica. Color me stoked, girl.
维罗妮卡，真叫我惊喜
I’ve gotten everybody to sign this petition.
我已经让大家都在请♥愿♥书上签名了
Even those who think Big Fun are tuneless Euro fags.
就连那些觉得Big Fun乐队就是一群唱歌♥难听的欧洲基佬的人也签了
People love me! You know, you haven’t signed yet.
人人都喜欢我，但你还没签呢
-People love you, but I know you.
人人都喜欢你，可我了解你
Jennifer Forbes said the petition she signed was to put a hot tub in the cafeteria,
詹尼佛.福布斯说她以为签请♥愿♥书是为了在饭堂里安一个大热水缸
-还有，道格.希尔顿说…
-对不同人就应该有不同的说法
Just sign the petition, OK?
你签就是了
-Don’t talk to me like that, OK?
别这样和我说话，行吗？
-Look, it was JD’s idea.
听着，这都是JD的主意
He made out the signature sheets and everything,so why don’t you just sign it!
是他做的签名板还有别的东西，为什么你就不能直接往上签呢？
-No.
绝不
-Jealous much?
吃醋了？
-Heather, why can’t you just be a friend?
希德，为什么你不能待人友善点？
Why are you such a mega bitch?
为什么非得做一个穷凶恶极的大贱婊？
-Because I can be.
因为我可以
Veronica, why are you pulling my dick?
维罗妮卡，你为啥要来挡我的道？
Do you think…
你真的以为…
I mean, do you really think if Betty Finns fairy godmother made her cool,
我是说，要是贝蒂.费恩有个能把她变酷的神仙教母
she’d still hang out with her dweebette friends?
她还会和那群智障朋友一起出去？
No way, Veronica.
不可能的，维罗妮卡
-Want to go out tonight?
今晚想一起出去吗？
Catch a movie, you know, some miniature golf?
看场电影，打打迷你高尔夫？
-I was thinking more along the lines of slitting Heather Dukes wrists open,
我在考虑往希德.杜克的手腕上开几个口子
making it look like a suicide.
然后伪装成自杀
-Now you’re talking!
这才是人话嘛！
I could be up for that.
我已经做好准备了
I’ve already started underlining meaningful passages in her copy of “Moby Dick”,
我早就在她的《白鲸》里划了些意味深长的句子
if you know what I mean.
你懂我意思吧
I knew you’d be back…
我知道你会回来的
I knew it. I was positive, I was sure.
我知道的，我很清楚，我很确定
-It’s over JD, over. Grow up!
结束了，JD，成熟点吧！
-I don’t get it! You were wrong, and I was right!
我不明白！你才是错的！我是对的！
Strength, damn it!
权势，该死的！
Come on, come back!
拜托，回来!
-Yes?
怎么了？
-Your friend Jason Dean stopped by, he seemed very concered about you.
你的朋友JD路过，他看上去很担心你…
He said that he thought you might try to kill yourself.
他觉得你有自杀倾向
-You’ve been depressed lately.
你最近有点抑郁了
Oh, he left this for you.
噢，他还留了这个给你
-Oh my God.
天哪(认得出这个字迹吗？)
-He said we should keep you away from sharp objects,
他说我们要让你远离利器
closed garage doors, chemicals, prescription drugs…
锁上车♥库♥的门，藏好化学品，还有处方药
-“…and even for hate, thou cans’t but kill,and all are killed”.
甚至为了仇恨，你也只能杀人，把所有人都杀死
I like it.
我很喜欢这句话
It’s got that “what a cruel world,so lets toss ourselves in the abyss” type of ambience.
有那种”这个世界极端残酷，而我们却一头埋入深渊”的感觉
-Come on! It’s Heathers copy of Moby Dick.
来吧，这是希德的《白鲸》
Why don’t you give it a try.Underline something.
怎么不试一下，在上面划点东西呢？
-Get off of my bed, you fucking psycho!
从我的床上下来，你这个疯子！
You’re a rebel?Do you actually think you’re a rebel?
你是反叛者吗？你真以为自己是反叛者？
You’re not a rebel, you’re a fucking psychotic!
你不是，你♥他♥妈♥就是个疯子！
-You say tomato, I say tomato…
我们不是一个意思嘛？
Hold it! “Eskimo”!
慢着!”爱斯基摩”!
It’s one word…
就是这个词
I love it!
我爱极了！