And other times, I do know it makes complete sense,
我开始哭泣
I start crying.
因为我明白 我
‘Cause I realize that I’m…
我不经意间闯入了一片
I’m hitting on an area that’s…
绝对真实的天地
absolutely true.
在这种意义上 或许 几个世纪之后
In that sense, able to be read by someone
它才能真正被人阅读 而且催人泪下
and wept to, maybe, centuries later.
在这种意义上 它是一种预言
In that sense, prophecy,
因为它触到了普遍的真理
because it touches a common key.
我是说
I mean,
预言真正的含义
what prophecy actually is,
并不是预知
is not knowing whether…
1942年原♥子♥弹♥会不会落下
the bomb will fall in 1942.
而是感知并感受到
It’s knowing and feeling something
百年之后的某个人
which someone knows and feels
感知和感受到的东西
in a hundred years. Hmm?
并且可能用一种百年之后他们
And maybe articulating it in a hint that
将会发现的暗示来进行表达
they will pick up on in a 100 years.
他们在监牢里忽发奇想
who crashed through their minds in jall
等待金发的恶徒
waiting for impossible criminais with golden heads
等待他们充满现实美丽的内心
and the charm of reality in their hearts
等待他们对恶魔岛吟唱悦耳的布鲁斯
who sang sweet blues to Alcatraz,
他们要求公正的审判 控诉催眠人的无线电
who demanded sanity triais accusing the radio of hypnotism
无人过问他们混乱的神志
and were left with their insanity
他们的双手和悬而不决的陪审团
and their hands and a hung jury
他们投掷土豆色拉驱赶纽约大学的
who threw potato salad at CCNylecturers on Dadaism
达达主义演说 继而自己
and subsequently presented themselves on
踏上疯人院的花岗岩台阶
the granite steps of the madhouse
表演光头和自杀的滑稽演说
with shaven heads and harlequin speech of suicide,
请求立即实施脑叶切除
demanding instantaneous lobotomy,
而他们反被施以
and who were given instead
胰岛素 强心剂
the concrete void of insulin Metrazol
电疗 水疗 心理疗法
electricity hydrotherapy psychotherapy
职业疗法 乒乓以及记忆缺失疗法
occupational therapy pingpong and amnesia,
因此他们奔跑过结冰的街道
and who therefore ran through the icy streets
著迷于脑中闪现的炼金术 省略用法
obsessed with a sudden flash of the alchemy of the use of the ellipse
目录 仪表和飞翼的振动
the catalog the meter and the vibrating plane,
他们梦想 用并置的意象
who dreamt and made incarnate gaps in Time and Space
实体化时空中横亘的沟壑
through images juxtaposed,
在两个视觉意象中
and trapped the archangel of the soul
俘获灵魂的大天使
between 2 visual images
改造人类贫乏的句法和韵律
to recreate the syntax and measure of poor human prose
他们站在您面前 无语 睿智
and stand before you speechless and intelligent
羞愧得发抖
and shaking with shame,
不被认可但仍然袒露胸怀
rejected yet confessing out the soul
顺应他头脑中毫无拘束
to conform to the rhythm of thought
又永无休止的思维节律
In his naked and endless head,
疯狂的浪子和天使合拍敲打
the madman bum and angel beat in time,
无人知晓
unknown, yet putting down here
但仍要留下死后来生可能想说的话
what might be left to say in time come after death,
脱胎换骨站起在爵士乐的奇装异服里
and rose reincarnate in the ghostly clothes of jazz
在乐队金号♥角的投影下
In the goldhorn shadow of the band
吹奏出美国人袒露心灵
and blew the suffering of
求爱所遭受的苦难
America’s naked mind for love
萨克斯管哭嚎着爱里爱里拉马拉马萨巴克里
Into an eli eli lamma lamma sabacthani saxophone cry
城市在乐声中颤栗崩坏 直到最后一部收音机
That shivered the cities down to the last radio
从他们自己身上剜出的
with the absolute heart of the poem of life
诗歌♥人生的绝对真心
butchered out of their own bodies
足够吃上一千年
good to eat a thousand years,
我离开纽约之后
After I left New york,
在旧金山待了一年
I spent a year in San Francisco.
我在诺布山有间公♥寓♥
I had an apartment on Nob Hill,
穿着西装打着领带
the tie and suit,
有份有好几个秘书的工作
a job with several secretaries which was…
这开始让我感到愉悦
beginning to give me pleasure,
感到我能做好这份工作
the pleasure of knowing I could do it
并且不再受到社会规范的威胁
and was no longer intimidated by the social forms,
能在枯燥的商业世界成功的愉悦
to be able to make it in the very dry, business world
就在那时我遇见了彼得
And that’s when I met Peter.
从遇见彼得开始
It was when I met Peter
我的一切都改变了
that everything changed for me.
感觉就像是一座沐浴着金光的天堂
It was as if the heavens showered with gold.
终于有一个人能如我爱他一般爱我
Finally somebody loved me like I loved them,
生命中第一次感觉到自己被接受了
and for the first time, I felt accepted in my life.
完完全全地
completely.
我在旧金山
In San Francisco,
希克斯医生那里进行了一年的心理治疗
I had a year of psychotherapy with Dr. Hicks.
那是全封闭式的治疗 我不能写作
I was blocked, I couldn’t write…
我还在尝试着做一个正常人
I was still trying to act normal.
我害怕自己疯了
I was afraid I was crazy.
我坚信我本应是异性恋
I was sure that I was supposed to be heterosexual
一定是哪里出了问题
and that something was wrong with me.
希克斯医生一直在问
And Dr. Hicks kept saying,
“你想要做什么”
“What do you want to do?
“你内心深处的渴求是什么”
“What is your heart’s desire?”
最后我说
Finally I said…
我真正想做的是
what I’d really like to do is to
逃离这一切
just quit all this
然后
and…
和彼得一起住在小屋子里
get a small room with Peter
投身于我的写作
and devote myself to my writing and
冥想 性♥交♥ 大♥麻♥
contemplation and fucking and smoking pot and…
和其他想做的事情
doing whatever I want.
他说 “那你为什么不去做呢”
And he said, “Why don’t you do it, then?”
我是说 等到我年老体衰
I mean, what will happen if I grow old…
内♥裤♥沾满尿迹
and I have pee stains in my underwear
住在堆满家具的房♥间里
and I’m living in some furnished room
没有人爱我 而我
and nobody loves me and I’m…
已白发苍苍
white haired and…
身无分文 遍地面包屑怎么办呢
I have no money, bread crumbs are falling on the floor?
然后他说
And he said,
“别担心
“Don’t worry about that,
你很有魅力
you’re very charming and
也很可爱 人们总是会爱你的”
lovable and people will always love you.”
这话是多大的抚慰
What a relief to hear that!
我很快意识到那都是
I very soon realized that it was all…
以恐惧塑造的陷阱
a fear trap…
不实的假象
Illusory!
是怎样一种水泥合金史芬克斯般的怪物
What sphinx of cement and aluminum
敲开了他们的头骨
bashed open their skulls
吞噬了他们的脑浆和想象
and ate up their brains and imagination?
摩洛神 孤独 污秽
Moloch Solitude Filth
丑恶 垃圾箱和得不到的美元
Ugliness Ashcans and unobtainable dollars
孩子们在楼梯下的尖叫
Children screaming under stairways
小伙子们在军队里抽泣
Boys sobbing in armies
老人们在公园里呜咽
Old men weeping in the parks
摩洛神 摩洛神
Moloch Moloch
噩梦般的摩洛神 得不到爱的摩洛神
Nightmare of Moloch Moloch the loveless
疯狂的摩洛神
Mental Moloch
无情的人类判官 摩洛神
Moloch the heavy judger of men
有一天彼得和我看见摩洛神
Peter and I saw Moloch one day when we took peyote
那天我们吸了迷幻剂 在市中心四处游荡
and were wandering around downtown streets.
那是人们用火焰献祭的神灵
It’s a god that you make fire sacrifices to.
可是
But…
在我心中 是他将我的母亲拽入疯狂
in my mind, it was what drove my mother to madness.
于是 我想出了这句
So, I had the line
摩洛神的眼睛是千扇堵死的窗户
Moloch whose eyes are a thousand blind windows.
我想到这个词
I had this word,
然后 我还有这种感觉
And… I also had the feeling
嗒嘚嘚嗒嘚嘚嗒嘚嘚嗒嗒 嗯
DA de de DA de de DA de de DA DA, Hmm?
然后我猛然抬头 看见了很多窗户