女性瘾者：第一部（2013）

所以时间规划很重要
scheduling was tricky
他们必须有非常准确的预约时间
and they all had to have precise appointments.
F是个好人
F was a good man.
如果他约在十点
If he was scheduled for 10:00,
他一定会在九点左右就到
he always showed up around 9:00
然后停在楼下的街边
and parked down in the street.
我每次见到他都会微笑
I always smiled when I saw him.
通常我会同情他
Often I took pity on him
并且在他等我跟上一个人结束时
and gave him a cup of coffee
给他杯咖啡喝
while I was finishing with the one before.
很难说我为什么会想要聊到F
It’s hard to say why I’m choosing to talk about F,
但他让人很安心
but he was reassuring,
而且我们做♥爱♥的时候 他非常清楚我要什么
and he knew exactly what I wanted when we had sex.
不 我甚至会说
No, I’d go even further and say
我们俩做♥爱♥的时候有一种心灵感应
that there was a kind of telepathy going on when we had sex.
不用说话
Without words,
他就知道我想要什么
he knew exactly what I wanted,
我希望他摸哪里 干什么
where he should touch me and what he should do.
对于F来说 让我高♥潮♥就是他最神圣的目标
The most sacred goal for F was my orgasm.
然后
Well, and then…
那些天鹅用同样的声音回答
…the swans answered in the same voice.
与此同时
And granted
他换来了其他人都没有的特权
him privileges none of the others received.
F是低音部
F was the bass voice:
单调 可预测 固守仪式
monotone, predictable and ritualistic.
毫无疑问
No doubt about it.
但与此同时他也是很重要的基础
But also the foundation that is so important
虽然单独拿出来的时候没什么意义
even if, on its own, it doesn’t mean much.
G就很不同
G was quite different.
他是唯一一个让我等 而我也愿意等的人
The only one I had to and wanted to wait for.
当他终于出现 我打开门后
When he finally turned up and I opened the door,
他不会马上进来
he didn’t immediately enter,
就像是当你给猫开门时 它也不会马上进来
the way a cat doesn’t when you let it in,
就好像既然门已经开了
as if once the door is open,
它就有大把时间可以慢慢来了
it has all the time in the world.
但他不仅仅是只猫
But he was more than a cat.
他更像是美洲虎或是金钱豹
He was like some kind of jaguar or leopard.
连他的动作都像
He moved like them,
这让我无止境地兴奋
which turned me on no end.
他占主导
He was in charge.
一向如此
That’s the way it was.
虽然我成功
Despite my success in managing
掌握了复杂的方法
the complicated logistics involved in arranging
让自己每天有十次性满足
up to 10 daily sexual satisfactions
同时还保有一份全职工作
while also having a full-time job,
但我还是觉得悲伤
I was still prone to a certain sadness.
所以当我在忙碌的生活中偶尔抽出空闲
So when my busy life allowed a few breaks,
我就会去散步
I used them to take my walks.
这些重复的散步
These repeated walks became
变成了我生活的一种隐喻
a kind of metaphor for my life:
一成不变而且毫无意义
monotonous and pointless.
没错 就像是
Yes, precisely like
一只笼中困兽的生活一样
the movements of a caged animal.
基本上 我们都在混吃等死
Basically, we’re all waiting for permission to die.
不
No.
不 不 不
No no no.
不
No, there —
在你讲的关于杰罗姆的故事里
there are some completely unrealistic coincidences
有一些很不实际的巧合
in your story about Jerome.
首先 他碰巧雇你
First, by chance he hires you as…
当了他的助手 然后你去树林里散步
as an assistant and then you take a walk in a forest
碰巧还在那个树林里找到他照片的碎片
that is littered with photographs of him.
不仅如此 他本人还在场
And not only that, he’s present.
然后像上帝一样
And then like a God,
他拉你入怀 穿过云朵
pulls you up to him through the clouds.
天啊
Goodness gracious.
杰罗姆会出现在那里
Jerome was there because he had
是因为他刚跟他妻子吵了一架
just had a fight with his wife,
在气头上 他把刚洗出来的那些
who, in anger, tore up the photographs
他们在旅途中照的照片都撕了
they just had developed from their travels.
我还是觉得很难相信
Oh, I don’t know if I can believe this.
你觉得怎么样
Which way do
理解我的故事对你更有用呢
you think you’d get the most out of my story?
是相信好一点还是不相信好一点呢
By believing in it or by not believing in it?
不 你说得对
No, you’re right.
这一切没准说明了一点
You might have a point with all this.
性的秘方是爱情
The secret ingredient to sex is love.
第三声部
The third voice:
秘方
the secret ingredient.
固定旋律
Cantus firmus.
填满我所有的洞
Fill all my holes.
怎么了
What’s wrong?
我没有任何感觉
I can’t feel anything.
我没有任何感觉
I can’t feel anything.
我没有任何感觉
I can’t feel anything.
一点感觉 都没有
I can’t– anything.