Well, in Dirt we happen to have the finest financial institution this side of Missouri.
由本人全天候守护
Protected mornin’, noon and night by yours truly.
感激不尽
Much obliged.
银行被抢了 银行被抢了
The bank’s been robbed! The bank’s been robbed!
天哪 银行被盗了
God Lord, the bank’s been robbed!
怎么回事
What’s goin’ on?
不知道 水没了
I don’t know. The water is gone!
他说什么
What’s he sayin’?
银行被抢了
The bank’s been robbed!
马科斯医生 我被烧着了 抱抱我
Doctor Marks, I’m on fire, embrace me!
银行被劫 小镇陷入干涸的阴影
The bank’s been robbed, the town is striked to die of thirst
人们哀嚎着狼奔豕突 酝酿暴♥乱♥
the people cry, come and spook, prepare to revolt
水不见了 这全是他的错
the water is gone, it’s all his fault
大伙退后
All right folks, stand back,
让一让 这里现在是犯罪现场
clear the area, this is a crime scene now.
封锁周边 采集指纹和纤维 检测DNA
Secure the perimeter, dust for prints and fiber, scamper DNA,
我要每个人的尿样 再来杯拿铁
I wanna urin sample from everyone and get me a latte.
可别弄混了
Don’t mix up the two.
这是什么 勘探许可证
What’s this? Prospecting permit?
我来保管 这是物证
I’ll take that. Material evidence!
-现在怎么办 警长 -我们需要水
– What are we gonna do now, sheriff? – We need that water.
大家都会死的
We’re all gonna die!
朋友们 我们都清楚自己现在的使命
Friends, we all know what we have to do now.
说得对 我们都清楚自己现在的使命
That’s right. We all know what we have to do now.
那就是
And that would be?
招募一只废物
Form a possum!
一支队伍 哥
A posse.
现在咱们一步步来
Now we gonna be doing this in an orderly fashion.
首先 你们中有人
First of all, does anybody here
会耍枪炮之类的吗
know how to use a firearm of any kind?
那好
All right then.
现在该做什么呢 警长
What do we do now, sheriff?
现在 驰骋吧
Now…we ride.
-咱们去哪 -什么
– Where’re we going? – What?
咱们去哪
Where’re we going?
作为我的副手 你要全权负责
Now, as my deputy you’ll be in charge of
追踪找到这些恶棍
all trackin’ and findin’ of villains.
充分利用你高度发达的器官 无意冒犯
Utilizin’ your well developed ingenuity. No offense taken.
你觉得他们往哪边走了
So which way do you think they went?
要闻闻气味吗 还是问问水牛什么的
You wanna sniff the air or commune with a buffalo or somethin’?
真有你的
Oh… you’re good!
就靠你了 小勺
I am depending on you, Spoons.
你胡子里有烟草
You got a little tobacco in your beard.
还是有个医生在身边保险 对吧
Always good to have a medical man on, doc?
爬行动物可要跟紧咯
Reptiles gotta stick together!
-对吧 兄弟 -我是两栖动物
– Right, my brother? – I’m an amphibian.
看好你哦
Ain’t no shame in that…
你确定能执行任务吗 大兵
Are you sure you’re fit for duty there, soldier?
咋了
What?
你眼睛里有点东西
Well, you gotta a little something in your eye there…
那个啊 是结膜炎 遗传的
Oh, that! That there is conjunctivitis, sir. It’s hereditary.
不传染就好
Oh… I’m glad to hear it ain’t contageous.
稍等片刻
Now, just wait a cotton pickin’ minute!
队伍里没有位置…
A posse ain’t no place for a…
算了
Never mind.
等一下 小妹妹
Hold on there, little sister.
我们走之后得有人看家
Someone’s gonna have to look after the town while I’m gone.
能让我射两枪吗
Can I get to shoot someone?
还是把枪栓合上吧
Uh…let’s put a pin in that.
警长 你会把水追回来的吧
Sheriff, you’re gonna bring that water back, aren’t you?
相信我 小妹妹
Count on it, little sister.
-走哪边 警长 -这隧♥道♥四通八达的
– Which way do we go, sheriff? – There’s tunnels everywhere!
整个镇子都被打穿了
Whole town’s perforated with them.
这洞比被豪猪刺穿的蝴蝶身上的窟窿还多
She got more holes in her than a painted lady on a porcupine.
我爸爸带我去过那地方
Hey, my daddy took me to her place.
大出我的预料
Not what I expected.
他们到底怎么找到银行的
How’d them fellas found the bank, anyway?
先生们 咱们能专心一点吗
Gentlemen, if we can stay on the task here?
警长 这边
Sheriff, over here.
看那个
Would you look at that!
-就如同上帝的脸庞 -阿门
– Like seeing the face of God! – Amen, brother.
还记得以前 每周三水都会喷涌而出
I remember when it used to flow every Wednesday.
那是多么平静美好的生活
Those were the halcyon days…
她肯定出于某种原因才弃我们而去
Must be a reason she quit on us…
不管是什么原因 有什么东西控制了这里的水
Whatever the reason, something is controlling this here water!
你觉得呢 警长
What do you say, sheriff?
显然 强盗是从这个方向来的
Clearly, the robbers came from this direction.
咱们沿着管道找到压力源
I say we track this pipe back to its hydraulic origin,
然后逮捕这起水源之谜的幕后黑手
and apprehend the culprits behind this aquatic conundrum.
-他说什么 -他说沿着管道走
– What’d he say? – I think he said follow the pipe.
他说沿着管道走
He said follow the pipe.
他说沿着管道走
He said follow the pipe.
这底下真潮
Sure is humid down here.
我都快犯痔疮了
Yeah, it’s activating my piles.
我曾做过甲状腺切除 就像…
I had a goitre removed once. Looked like…
东尼·班尼顿[浪漫动人的爵士乐手]出浴的感觉
Tony Bennett stepping out of the shower.
屁扯 我都把那玩意夹饼里吃了
Shoot, I put that on a tortilla.
无论如何 都别朝下看
Whatever you do, do not look down!
-这是什么地方 -蓄水层
– What is this place? – It’s an aquifer.
-蓄水层是啥 -储存水的
– Ah…What is aquafor? – Well, it’s for aqua.
现在空了
Well, it’s empy now!
谢谢 大块头
Thank you, big one.
-到头了 -走不通了
– It’s the end of the line. – Don’t go no further.
这里出现了一条管道
Well, now that there is a pipe.
肯定连了什么东西
It’s got to be connected to something.
少啰嗦几句行吗 给老子闭嘴
You talk too much. Why don’t you put a cork in it?
你给老子闭嘴 识不识抬举啊
Why don’t you put a cork… Tell you where the sun don’t shine.
去你♥娘♥的♥ 操♥你♥妈♥逼
Your mama did. I’ll cook her right up.
你俩还不明白吗
You two just don’t get it, do you?
有什么东西干扰了我们的供水
Someone or something is messing with our hydration.
肯定跟这条管道有关
And that pipe got something to do with it.
我们不是在追踪银行抢劫犯吗
No, I thought we was following bank robbers!
警长 咱们这是要上哪去呢
We’re experiencing sheriff, a paradox shift!
再不闭嘴 我就打得你们满地找牙
I’m gonna shift the features on your face if you don’t shut up!
安静点 你们这些野人 别打了
Quite you savages! Stop your battlin’.
吵着我思考了
You’re effectin’ my cogitation.
想到了
Wow! I got it!
把火炬灭掉
Snap out them torches!
脑袋挺灵光的啊 老兄
Smart thinking there, fellow!
-爬吧 -把你的脚从我脸上挪走
– Start climbing! – Get your boot out of my face!
-不错吧 豆豆 -你要一直这样
– Not bad, ha, Beans? – If you keep thinking like that,
-帽子准得着火 -你知道
– your hat’s gonna catch on fire. – Well, you know…
人在江湖…烫 烫 着了
You get on the road… ahhh! Hot, hot, burn, ow…
可怜的家伙 他们只想喝点水
Poor things… All they wanted was a little water.
仙人掌这么耐渴 都抗不住干旱
Cactus stand thirst? They don’t bold will…
-看我找到了什么 -找到什么了
– Hey look what I’ve found! – What’d you got there?
-我先发现的 -这里有水
– I saw it first! – It got some water!
-是我的 -给我
– It’s mine! – Give me that!
-反正是空的 -我就知道
– Aaa…It’s empty anyway. – I knew, I knew that…
哪找到的
Hey, where’d you find that?
警长 你最好过来看看
Sheriff, you gonna wanna see this!
是银行的梅里马克先生
It’s Mr. Merrymack from the bank.
-他在这干什么 -都让开
– What’s he doing here? – Everybody stand back!
好了 让我看看
All right, lemme see it.
像是被那帮强盗从后面打死的
Looks like them barriment shot him in the back!
不 他不是被枪打死的
No…this man wasn’t shot.
是溺死的
He was drowned.
-溺死的 -在沙漠腹地吗
– Drowned? – In the middle of the desert?
多理想的死法啊
Oh, what a way to go…
这是谁的脚印
Well now… who’s boot prints are those?
有意思 地还是湿的

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