假期历险记

只是基本安全
Just basic safety.
啊 喔
Aah! Whoa!
这太刺♥激♥了
This is exciting!
我最爱这样子展开一天
It’s my favorite way to start the day!
这个 还有跟你妹妹做♥爱♥
This, and makin’ love to your sister.
好说
Thank you for that.
快点 走吧
Come on, let’s go!
看来有两头很叛逆
Well, it looks like we got us a couple of mavericks.
你赶左边那头 我去赶右边那头
You take the one on the left. I’ll take the one on the right.
除非你需要帮忙
Unless you need my help with yours.
不用 我能搞定
No, I think I got it.
最后把牛赶进的人是废人
Last one to the corral’s a rotten cowpoke!
吼
Yee-Hoo-Hoo!
吼
Whoo-Hoo! Whoo-Hoo!
去那边
Go on over there!
快走 起来 起来 快走
Go! Get up! Get up! Get up! Let’s go!
喔
Whoa!
哦
Oh!
嗨
Hi!
我的妈呀
Holy shit!
我的天啊
Oh, my gosh!
那头牛没事吧
Is the cow okay?
不 那头牛有事 拉斯 被你撞成肉酱了
No, the cow’s not okay, Russ. You drove plumb through him.
可怜的塞巴斯蒂安
Oh, no, Sebastian.
真恶心
Gross.
大伙儿
Hey, gang.
也许午餐我们能找个地方吃汉堡
Uh, maybe for lunch, we could find a burger place.
你们知道 像是…
You know, like a, uh…
像是得来速的汉堡店
Like a drive-through burger place.
爸 我想我们该…
I don’t know, Dad. I think we should, uh,
向牛肉说不
steer clear of that.
-这个好笑詹姆斯 -够了 你们这些人
-Good one, James. -All right, enough, you guys.
爸撞死了一头牛 好吧 这事就过去吧
Dad hit a cow, okay? Let’s just moo-ve on.
我也有个笑话
Oh, I got one.
是吗 说来听听
Yeah? Let’s hear it.
-詹姆斯是一坨屎 -哦
-James is a piece of shit. -Oh.
你有点文不对题了 小鬼
You kinda missed the point, there, buddy.
娃娃屋 瓷器和黑胶唱片收藏
希普罗克 柯提兹
四角纪念碑
马波峡谷旅舍 亚利桑那州
威格瓦姆摩铁
亚利桑那州霍尔布鲁克
睡了吗
Hey. Hey.
什么 怎么了 出什么事了
What? What is it? What’s wrong?
-都还好吧 -是的 是的 是的
-Is everything okay? -Yeah, yeah, yeah.
不 不 不 不 没事 没事
No, no, no. No. No, nothing’s wrong. Nothing’s wrong.
好的 那怎么了
Okay. Well, what?
-我有个主意 -嗯
-I-I have an idea. -Mm-hmm.
听起来很疯狂 但听我说完好吗
And it’s gonna sound crazy, but hear me out, okay?
-好吧 -好的
-Mm-Kay. -Okay.
我们就在四角纪念碑附近…
We’re right near the four corners monument…
嗯嗯
Mm-hmm.
四角纪念碑是四个州的交会点
Which is where four states come together in one spot.
所以呢
So?
我们去那里爱爱
Let’s go have sex on it.
什么
What?
对 那样我们就能同一时间跨四个州做♥爱♥
Yeah, that way we can make love in four states at the same time.
等等 你是说真的
Wait. You’re serious?
对 是你说的要换点新花样
Well, yeah. I mean, you’re the one who said we should mix it up.
-是的 -有什么比在公共纪念碑做♥爱♥更新的花招
-Yeah. -What’s more mixed up than sex on a public monument?
我赌”黛比什么都干”会愿意
I’m pretty sure Debbie do-anything would do it.
别提了”黛比什么都干”是个笨蛋 所以…
Okay, well, Debbie do-anything was a dumbass, so…
也许那正是我们要的 一起当笨蛋
Maybe that’s what we need. To be dumbasses together.
那孩子们呢
What about the kids?
凯文也算是一个笨蛋
Well, Kevin’s kind of a dumbass.
不 不是这意思 亲爱的 孩子们怎么办
No, no, honey. What are we gonna do about them?
他们没事 睡得正熟
They’re fine. They’re fast asleep.
我们回来前 他们不会发现的
We’ll be back before they know we’re gone.
好
Okay.
-同意了 -好 就这么办
-Yeah? -All right, let’s do it.
四角纪念碑 关闭
妈
Mom?
爸
Dad?
-詹姆斯 -妈
-James? -Mom?
艾迪娜
Adena?
你是在跟踪我吗
Are you, like, stalking me or something?
没有 什么 没有
No. What? No.
逗你的
I’m kidding.
别紧张
Relax.
嘿 在阿肯色州搭讪你的变♥态♥怎样了
Hey, what happened with that perv who was hitting on you in Arkansas?
其实那是我爸
That was actually my Dad.
他想当我的帮手
He was trying to be my Wingman.
我的天
Oh, my God.
他是个真正差劲的帮手
He’s a really shitty Wingman.
所以今晚不弹吉他了
So, no guitar tonight?
吉他被偷了
It got stolen.
真够倒霉
That sucks.
我很喜欢听你弹
I really liked hearing you play.
真…真的
You… you did?
是的 我一直很喜欢音乐家
Yeah, I’ve always had a thing for musicians.
那好…
Well, good…
因为我一直很喜欢…
Because I’ve always had a thing for…
漂亮女孩
Pretty girls.
真会泡妞
Well played.
看吧 你不需要帮手
See? You don’t need a Wingman.
到了
Here it is.
我的天 这真是有犯罪感
Oh, my God. This is so illegal.
我知道 这太刺♥激♥了 对吧
I know. It’s so hot, right?
是啊 我现在跟水龙头一样硬
Yeah. I am hard as a faucet right now.
-哦 -我很抱歉 对不起
-Oh! -I-I’m sorry. I’m sorry.
不 我喜欢
No. I like it.
-是吗 -对
-Yeah? -Yeah.
-真的 -真的
-Yeah? -I do.
-你喜欢我拍你屁屁 -喜欢 喜欢
-You like it when I slap that ass? -I do! I do!
好啊 那我要狠狠地拍你的屁♥股♥
Good, ’cause I’m gonna beat the shit out of your ass.
喔 拉斯
Whoa! Russ!
好 在这里
Okay, right here?
-我们要野合了 -没错 没错
-We’re about to have sex outside! -I know. I know.
要我用手指捅你吗
Do you want me to put a finger in?
捅哪里
In what?
-算了算了 -好 好
-Never mind. Never mind. -Okay, okay.
-你们小声点好吗 -啊
-Y’all wanna keep it down? -Aah!
-好好 -嘿 小心点 哥们
-Yeah! Yeah! -Hey, watch it, man!
-把你的腿拿开 -你又滑又湿的
-Get your leg off of me! -You’re so slippery and sweaty!
如果你们是来四角做♥爱♥的 我们是下一组
If y’all are here to have sex on the corners, we’re next.
排队
Get in line.
-要命 -天啊
-Oh, my gosh. -Oh, God.
我的天
Oh, God.
-啊 -哦
-Aah! -Oh!
-天啊 -恶
-Oh, God! -Ew!
哦 天啊 他们分布在每个州
Oh, God! They’re in every state!
现场有好多咪♥咪♥
So many boobies out here!
你们两个 别动
You two! Freeze!
快逃 快逃 快逃 快逃 快逃
Go, go, go, go, go!
手举高
Hands up!
快跑 亲爱的 快跑
Run! Honey, run!
放下手电筒
Drop the flashlight!
你们知道公然猥亵在犹他州是犯罪吧
You do know public indecency is a crime in the state of Utah?
是的 抱歉 警官
Yes. Sorry, officer.
我们是夫妻我们只想要…
See, we’re married, and we wanted to just…
省省吧 跟法官说去
You know what? Save it for the judge.
每晚你们这些变♥态♥出现 亵渎这块圣地让我作呕
It makes me sick how you deviants show up and desecrate this holy place every night.
-转身手放在后面 -什么 什么