假期历险记

That is the stuff!
那是什么
What is that?
你耳朵上 你耳朵上是什么
On your ear. What’s on your ear?
那是什么
What is that?
看 詹姆斯 发现飞镖
Look, James. Found a dart.
你发什么神经
Are you crazy?!
我的天 快离开格瑞斯沃德温泉
Oh, my God! Everybody out of Griswold Springs!
-快从便池里出来 -太恶心了
-Get out of the poop! -That was nasty!
我全身是屎
All over me!
我不喜欢格瑞斯沃德温泉
I don’t like Griswold Springs.
是我们的防盗器吗
Is that our car alarm?
搞什么
What?!
那个当地人怎么没说树林里有小偷
How come that local guy didn’t tell us there are thieves in these woods?
原来
Oh, right.
他偷走我的吉他
He took my guitar.
我的天 他偷走了全部的钱 拉斯
Oh, my God. He took all our money, Russ.
好 情况不佳 不过…
All right. Not a best-case scenario. But,
嘿 他留下了你的书
hey. He left your book.
所以我们赢得最后胜利
So, I guess we get the last laugh.
老公 没搞错吧 我们光着身体 全身是人类排泄物
Oh, really, honey? We’re naked and covered in human waste.
很难说 亲爱的 不见得是人类
Oh, come on, sweetheart. We don’t know that it’s human.
德克萨斯州普莱诺
真丢人 感觉像你的表亲艾迪家会干的事
This is so embarrassing. I feel like your cousin Eddie’s family.
没什么大不了 我们就告诉斯通和奥黛莉事发经过
It’s no big deal. We’ll just tell Stone and Audrey what happened.
孩子们 记得发生什么事
Kids, remember what happened?
我们停车去救着火的汽车里的婴儿…
We pulled over to rescue a baby from a burning car…
我们正忙时 被偷光所有东西
and somebody stole all of our stuff while we were distracted.
那我们为什么光着膀子 全身是便便
And why are we naked and covered in feces?
我不记得了
I don’t remember.
没错 我们不记得了
That’s right. We don’t remember.
噢 我的天啊
Oh, my God.
嗯
Hmm?
噢 真是够了
Oh, come on.
-我们该怎么办 -帮我一下
-What’re we gonna do? -Can you gimme a hand with this?
-好好 -拜托
-Yeah. Yeah. -Please?
帮个忙
Just…
对
yeah.
老天
Oh, gosh.
-不行擦不掉 -用口水
-I-I can’t. I can’t… I can’t get it off. -Use your spit.
哦 好
Oh, okay.
专攻蛋蛋
Focus on the balls.
如果你们不弄它 它这样也不错
If you guys wanna stop, that’d be good, too.
继续弄蛋蛋 我能搞定大屌♥
Stay on the balls. I’ve got the shaft.
嗨 你们来了
Hi, y’all!
-嘿我的天啊 -嗨
-Hey! Oh, my goodness. -Hi!
-嗨 -怎么回事
-Hi. -What happened?
只是…
Well, that’s a…
说起来很离谱 嗯…
It’s a crazy story, um…
爸在公园被人诈骗
Dad got scammed by a guy at a park.
-凯文 -拉斯蒂还是老样子
-Kevin! -Same old Rusty.
你连水龙头的水都付钱买♥♥
You’d buy water from a faucet.
反正你们看起来很恶心
Anyway, you guys look disgusting.
我有些衣服要捐给教堂…
So, um, I have some clothes that I was gonna give to the church…
如果你们愿意的话 可以借给你们穿
if you guys wanna borrow some of those.
-太好了谢谢奥黛莉 -快进来
-Great. Thank you, Audrey. -Come on inside.
谢谢
Thanks.
好
All right.
老天 你们臭死了
Boy, y’all stink.
那根巨♥屌♥♥居然比我大
Oh, I don’t like that.
天啊 我们家跟这比简直是狗窝
Man, this place makes our house look like shit.
凯文 那只是因为这里的物价比…
Well, Kevin, that’s only ’cause a dollar goes much further out here…
芝加哥便宜多了
than it does in Chicago.
尤其在你又赚得很多的情况下
Especially when you make a lot more of ’em.
哈
Ha.
逗你的啦
Just messin’ with ya.
哎呦 你们长得比水龙头下的杂草还快
Shoot! You boys are growin’ faster than a weed under a faucet.
-你还在练摔跤吗 -嗯
-You still wrasslin’, son? -Uh-huh.
哦 好啊 来吧 让我看看你有什么进步
Oh? Well, come on. Show me what ya got.
凯文 放开你哥
Hey, Kevin. Get off your brother, please.
他们只是在玩摔跤 兄弟间难免嘛
They’re just havin’ themselves a wrassle. It’s what brothers do.
嘿 哦 瞧你们
Hey, ooh, look at you guys.
好样的 黛比·格瑞斯沃德 你越来越美了
Hot damn. Debbie Griswold. You just keep Gettin’ prettier.
-别捧我了 -不 我说真的
-Oh, stop. -No, I mean it.
你能让冷水的水龙头流出热水
You could make hot water come out of the cold faucet.
嘴巴真甜
That’s… that’s very sweet.
我记得你第一次穿那件衣服的夜晚
You know, I remember the night you first wore that dress.
-你记得那一晚 -对 我记得那一晚
-You remember that night? -Yeah, I remember that night.
-我永远不会忘记那一晚 -我也不会 宝贝
-I’ll never forget that night. -Neither will I, baby.
你是我命中的老公
You’re my Fuckin’ husband.
当然了 我是你的猛♥男♥
Oh, betcha I am. I’m your caveman.
我会把你剥光
I’ll rip you in half.
宝贝
Ooh. Ooh, baby.
遇见你简直是中了乐透大奖
I hit the Fuckin’ jackpot with you.
天啊 我今晚要对你撒野了
Oh, God, what I’m gonna do to you tonight.
谁想看斯通的男人窝
Who wants to see Stone’s man cave?
-呃… -好
-Uh… -Yeah.
这是查尔顿·希斯顿吗
Is this Charlton Heston?
对 查哥是好朋友
Yep. Chuck was a good friend.
我数不清有多少个夜晚 我们一起喝酒…
I can’t tell ya how many nights we spent drinkin’ bourbon together…
为美国的现况而哭泣
and cryin’ about the state of this country.
没错 他们真的哭成一团
It’s true. They did. They literally cried together.
我看不出你会哭 斯通
Somehow I don’t see you crying, though, Stone.
是啊…
Yeah, that’s, uh,
有点难堪吧
that’s kind of embarrassing. Right?
我不觉得难堪
Not embarrassing to me.
就算最强的水龙头 偶尔也会滴几滴水
Even the strongest faucet sometimes lets out a few drops.
水龙头是有事吗
What is with these faucets?
大家以为四级龙♥卷♥风♥会绕过哈里斯郡
Hey, everyone thought that F-4 twister was gonna bypass Harris County.
我的斯通不认同
Not my Stone.
我有种感觉低压系统会直扑米慎湾
I had a feelin’ that that low-pressure system was gonna make a beeline for mission bend.
多亏我的报导 居民们多了15分钟撤离
Thanks to my report, those people had an extra 15 minutes to evacuate.
佩瑞州长说他救了2千条人命
Governor Perry said he saved 2,000 lives.
珍珠港就是死了这么多同胞…
That’s how many we lost at Pearl Harbor,
他等于阻止了珍珠港灾难
so basically, he stopped Pearl Harbor.
就在那时全国新闻台打来
That’s when the national news called.
先别说出去…
Now, between us…
但我前景看好吧 老婆
It’s lookin’ good. Ain’t it, honey?
嗯
Mm-hmm.
当然没有我的甜心老婆 这一切都不可能…
‘Course none of that would’ve been possible without my sugar mama, here,
她昼夜工作 让我读完气象学校
workin’ day and night to put me through meteorology school.
我喜欢工作 宝贝 我毫不介意
I liked workin’, baby. I didn’t mind it one bit.
你永远不必再辛苦了 亲爱的
Well, you never have to do it again, darlin’.
但工作让我有目标
Um, but it kinda gave me purpose.
不 别上班了 你答应我的
Nope, never again. That is a promise.
斯通姑父 我不赞同你的政♥治♥倾向…
Wow. Uncle Stone, I may not agree with your politics…
但并不表示我不崇拜你
but that doesn’t mean I don’t admire you.
谢谢 詹姆斯
Well, thank you, James.
但你最该崇拜的人就坐你旁边
But the man you should admire the mostis sittin’ right next to you.
但我旁边没人啊
But there’s nobody there.
我不是指那张椅子 我指你♥爸♥
Oh, I don’t mean that chair. I mean your Pa right here.
好
Okay.
他没救任何人的命
He doesn’t save anybody’s life.
他没有吗
Oh, doesn’t he?
他开着小飞机 没坠机就是拯救人命
Well, every time he flies that little plane of his, he’s savin’ lives by not crashin’.
在我看来…
And in my book…
他就是英雄
That makes him a hero.
谢谢
Thank you.
许多人其实…
You know, a lot of people actually…
更别提他追到像你妈那么性感的美人儿
Not to mention, he also snagged himself one sweet slice of foxy pie in your Mama there.
别再捧我了 真害羞
You gotta stop that today. Stop it.
我一直很想知道…
You know what I always wanted to know was…