BJ单身日记2：理性边缘

你会在一周内出狱
You’re going to be out within a week.
还有
And…
再见
Goodbye.
马克
Mark?
谢谢你
Thank you.
不用谢 我只是个传话人
You’re welcome. I’m just the messenger.
是上头的命令
The order came from above.
祝好运 很高兴能帮上忙
Well, good luck. Glad I could be of help.
比谢特 怎么回事
So, Bijjit, what happen?
这个…
Well, um…
比谢特 怎么会这样
Bijjit! How this can happen?
-太可怕了 -他们不能把你关在这
– This is terrible! – They can not keep you here.
你是无辜的
You are innocent!
-他们总是骗我们 -不不不 没事
– They’re always cheating us. – No, no, no. That’s all fine.
他们撤销了指控 要放我走了
They’ve dropped the charges and they’re letting me go.
但这是好消息
But that good news.
那到底怎么了
What is wrong?
马克·达西绝对
Mark Darcy definitely…
一点都不爱我了
…doesn’t love me anymore.
问题就在于是我甩了他
You see the trouble is it was me who chucked him.
他对你不好吗
He treat you bad?
是的 的确对我不好
Yeah, actually, he did.
我男朋友对我也不好
My boyfriend treat me bad too.
-我也是 -我也一样
– Me too. – Mine as well.
我也是
Me too.
那你们就都懂 你以为你找到了真命天子
Then you know all about it. You think you’ve found the right man,
但是他身上又有那么多的问题
but then there’s so much wrong with him
然后他也觉得你身上有很多问题
and he finds there’s so much wrong with you
然后一切分崩离析
and it all just falls apart.
这还用你说 我男朋友
Don’t tell me. My boyfriend,
他看起来人很好
he seem really nice.
然后他开始打我 逼我站街卖♥♥身
Then he start to hit me. Make me work on street.
我男朋友 他说他爱我
My boyfriend, he say he love me.
但是他不工作 让我一天工作24小时
But he do no work, and make me work 24 hour a day.
然后还逼我注射海♥洛♥因♥
Then he make me take heroin drug.
你呢 比谢特 你的坏男朋友干什么了
What about you, Bijjit? What your bad boyfriend do?
这个嘛
Well, er…
他在律师的晚宴上没有为我说话
he really didn’t stick up for me at this lawyers’ supper…
然后他还会叠他的…
and, um, then he would fold his…
都是同样的事情 真的
Oh, same sort of thing, really.
打我 逼我吸毒
Hitting me and making me take drugs.
把我的钱和东西都偷走了
Stealing all my money and stuff.
天哪 我是世界上最大的大傻瓜
Oh, God. I’ve been the world’s biggest fool.
比谢特
Bijjit?
一些小小的分别礼物 没什么豪华的
Just a few tiny leaving presents. No luxuries.
《男人来自火星 女人来自金星》
♪ Living in a material world ♪
♪ And I am a material girl ♪
♪ You know that we are living in a material world ♪
♪ And I am a material girl ♪
♪ Living in a material world ♪
♪ And I am a material girl ♪
如果你想在墙上挂一些美好的东西
If you want something smooth on your wall,
约翰·库林的作品是个不错的选择
you could do a lot worse than John Currin.
他大概是当代唯一会画画的画家
He is about the only contemporary painter who can actually paint.
他的画通常既有趣 又带些讽刺
There’s usually something interesting and allegorical,
当然了 也有很强的性暗示
plus of course, there is a very high perv quotient.
-你看见她了吗 -停 停下
– Did you see her? – Out. Out it.
抱歉 大家 抱歉 我的跟踪狂
Sorry, everyone, sorry. It’s my stalker.
滚蛋吧 达西 我可是有正经工作的
Fuck off, Darcy, some people have jobs to do, you know?
你有没有看见她被警♥察♥ 狗 还有手铐包围
Did you see her surrounded by police, dogs, handcuffs?
得了吧 她是个大姑娘 她能照顾好自己
Come on, she’s a big girl, she can take care of herself.
我只问你最后一遍 你看见她了吗
I’m only going to ask you one more time. Did you see her?
“你只问我最后一遍”是什么意思
What do you mean you’re only gonna ask me one more time?
你还没戴上假发呢 宝贝儿
You haven’t got your wig on now, dear.
我就当你看见了
I’ll take that as a yes.
对 我看见她了
Yes, I did see her.
我还以为她要走私贝壳或者芒果什么的
I thought she was smuggling seashells, or mangoes or something.
好
Right.
很好 可以请你出去一下吗
Right, good. Will you step outside, please?
不 绝对不可能
Oh, no, it’s not possible.
达西 你知道我们现在是在第几世纪吗
Darcy, do you have any idea what century we actually live in?
你要不自己走出去 要不我就拖你出去
Are you gonna step outside or am I gonna have to drag you?
那你得把我拖出去了
I think you’re gonna have to drag me.
-你疯了 -你就是个耻辱 克利弗
– You’re insane! – And you’re a disgrace, Cleaver.
你拽着我头发了
You’re pulling my hair!
我他妈不想到水里去
I’m not going in the sodding water.
♪ Touching you ‘Cause you’re touching me ♪
♪ I believe in a thing called love ♪
♪ Just listen to the rhythm of my heart ♪
♪ There’s a chance we can make it now ♪
♪ We’ll be rockin’ till the sun goes down ♪
♪ I believe in a thing called love ♪
♪ Oooh-ooh ooh… ♪
-撒手 -不 你必须要进去 克利弗
– Fuck off! – No, you’re going in, Cleaver!
我要是进去的话 你也要和我一起
If I’m going in, you’re coming with me.
自鸣得意的小人
You smug bastard.
-我的天 -站起来
– Oh, my God. – Get up.
你现在要干什么
Well, what are you gonna do now?
用半米深的水把我淹死
Drown me in 16 inches of water?
没错 好主意
Yes, good idea.
操 住手 住手
Fuck! Stop, stop.
听着 听着 听着
Listen, listen, listen…
好吧 我把她丢在了机场 我不该这么做
OK, I left her at the airport. I shouldn’t have done that.
是她自己撞上了杰德
But she bumped into Jed herself
我勾引她也没成功 好吗
and I didn’t fucking well seduce her, all right?
-你没成功吗 -她有点不对劲
– You didn’t? – There’s something wrong with her.
她变得非常冷淡
She’s gone all frigid.
我那晚和一个漂亮的泰国女生在一起
I spent the night with a gorgeous Thai girl.
后来发现是个漂亮的泰国男孩
Who in fact turned out to be a gorgeous Thai boy.
满意了吗
Satisfied?
是的
Yes.
谢谢
Thank you.
你知道吗 兄弟
You know what, mate?
如果你这么痴迷于布丽姬特·琼斯
If you’re so obsessed with Bridget Jones,
为什么不娶她呢
why don’t you just marry her?
那样的话 她绝对会跟我睡的
‘Cause then she’d definitely shag me.
♪ I believe in a thing called love ♪
♪ Just listen to the rhythm of my heart ♪
♪ I believe in a thing called love ♪
国际到达
-布丽姬特 -布丽姬特 这边
– Bridget! – Bridget! Over here!
-那里怎么样 -你是怎么活下来的
– What was it like? – How did you survive?
伦敦的单身女孩
Any girl who’s been single in London
在出事的时候 都知道如何照顾好自己
knows how to handle herself. when things get rough.
-亲爱的 -你会回去吗
– Darling! – Will you be going back?
抱歉没给你写信 我太忙了
Sorry I didn’t write. I’ve just been so busy.
你好啊 亲爱的 你看起来不错
Hello, darling. You look lovely.
-瘦了 但是不错 -谢谢
– Skinny, but lovely. – Oh, thank you.
回家真好
Oh, it’s good to be home.
-抽烟吗 -不 谢了
– Ciggy? – No, no, thanks.
-我又戒了 -可惜 我发觉它们很有用
– I’ve given up again. – Shame. I find them very useful.
我很欣慰于
I take great comfort
它们可能在出大事前先要了我的命
in the fact they might kill me before things get worse.
达西家打电♥话♥过来说很高兴你被放出来了
The Darcys rang to say how pleased they were you were out.
我还以为马克会过来接你
I rather thought Mark might be here to meet you.
嗯 但你要记住我们已经分手了
Yes, but you must remember we split up.
那一点希望都没有了吗
So no hope there?
没有了
No hope there.
信我一句 下次我他妈再也不会搞砸了 妈
Believe me, next time I will not fuck it up, Mum.
-注意用词 亲爱的 -抱歉
– Language, darling. – Sorry.
下次 我不会再搞砸了
Next time, I will not fuck it up…
母亲
Mother.
♪ Trying to be misunderstood ♪
♪ But it doesn’t do me any good ♪
♪ Love the way they smiled at me ♪
♪ Hold that face for eternity ♪
♪ Now let them all fly off ♪
♪ When it comes down ♪
♪ It all comes down ♪
♪ And you will not be found ♪
♪ When it’s over ♪
♪ It’s all over ♪
♪ Even if I make a sound… ♪
惊喜