我们再也看不到他孩子气的笑容和牛角发形了
And we’ll never see his boyish smile and hair horn again.
但我打赌他去了属于自己的时间
But I bet he went back to his own time.
我相信他过得非常愉快 并且能安享晚年
I’m sure he was very happy and lived to a ripe old age.
不 他不是
He wasn’t and he didn’t!
是我 班德 独自面对悲惨的境地 把他杀死了
I, Bender, managed to kill him.
我把他炸成了碎片 就像可以放在微波庐里的侏儒
I blew him to mush like a midget in a microwave.
哦 不要责怪自己 班德
Oh, don’t blame yourself, Bender.
我并不怪自己 我怪这里所有人
I don’t blame myself. I blame all of you!
我们?你怎么能怪我们?
Us? How can you possibly blame us?
这件任务并不轻松 它恰恰证明了我是多么伟大
It ain’t easy. It just proves how great I am.
弗莱!
Fry!
要是能不杀掉你 我会付出一切
I’d give anything to un-murder you!
有人在叫我? 不!
Did someone call me? No!
弗莱?
Fry?
但我在2012年杀了你 除非…
But I killed you in 2012. Unless…
不 他不是僵尸
Nope, he’s not a zombie.
欢迎回归 弗莱 谢谢你 拉尔斯
Welcome back, Fry. hank you, Lars.
我… 过会见 亲爱的
I… I’ll see you later, honey.
快来讲讲 弗莱 班德是不是在几个世纪以前杀了你?
if Bender killed you centuries ago,
说实话 你是怎么回来的?
how in Satan’s glorious name did you return?
哦 这可是一连串不可思议的故事
Oh, it’s an astonishing tale of incredibleness.
这一切开始在我回到过去的时候
It all began when I went back in time.
2000年 1月1日 凌晨1点
哦 嘿 普诺奇先生
Oh, hey, Mr. Panucci.
我从快递公♥司♥回低温实验室了
I’m back from that delivery to the cryogenic lab.
太好了 我会让你上《大娱乐》杂♥志♥封面的
Great, I’ll put you on the cover of Big Whoop magazine.
我饿坏了 能给我一片吗? 自便 请给现金
I’m starving. Can I have a slice? Help yourself. Cash up front.
这些钱是合法的
This note is legal tender.
真不巧 我没那个时代的钱
Unfortunately, I had no money from that era.
但 那时我突然想到 我知道能吃免费比萨的地方
But that’s when it hit me. I knew where to find free pizza.
冰凉
Ice cold.
于是我又想到
That’s when it hit me again.
一个小时前 这些比萨还有点温度
But an hour ago, this pizza’s still lukewarm!
“0 0 1 1 0…”
“Zero, zero, one, one, zero…”
一小时前
离爆♥炸♥还有 7 6 …
Explosion in seven, six…
今天对于你来说 会是地狱里的冬天 朋友
It’ll be a cold day in hell, my friend.
5… 嗨 这些话我来说才对
Five… Hey, I’m supposed to be the one saying cool things.
踢得好 我 谢谢 你在这干吗?
Nice kick, me. Thanks. What are you doing here?
我从一小时后回来 为了吃免费的比萨
One hour from now, I travel back in time for free pizza.
但是尼卜乐说过不要用时间代码
But Nibbler said not to use the time code.
好 负责先生 我不再用时间代码
Fine, Mr. Responsible, don’t use the code.
比萨相当美味
That pizza sure was good.
你这只猪 随你怎么说
You pig. Whatever.
突然之间 我又想到了
That’s when it hit me yet a third time.
你这傻瓜!
You idiot!
冷冻的我还有一皮夹旧钞
Frozen me’s still got a wallet full of old-timey money.
讨厌!我摸到了自己的屁♥股♥!
Yuck! I touched my own butt!
2999年 11月31日
所以我十分钟前解冻 走到了这里
So I unfroze 10 minutes ago, and I walked over here,
于是 就到了现在 我压根不知道发生了什么事
and then it was now, and then I don’t know what happened.
哦 我很高兴你还活着
Well, I’m glad you’re alive,
但是我不想人说我没有能力
but I don’t want people to say I’m incompetent,
我得再次把你杀掉 站着别动
so I better kill you again. Hold still.
班德 你能不能停一会
Bender! Stop killing for a minute!
你杀掉的弗莱已经不在了
The Fry you murdered was doomed anyway.
明白了?
See?
这是什么?数字?
What have you got there? Numbers?
听着 当时间代码复♥制♥任何生物的时候
Here, when the time code duplicates a living thing,
那些复♥制♥品 必定会死
the copy is always doomed.
包括软弱的牙买♥♥加大肚皮
And that includes flabby Jamaican pot-bellies.
吻我前面的屁♥股♥
Kiss my front-butt.
在班德杀掉我的复♥制♥前 他已经活了12年?
So my copy lived 12 years before Bender murdered him?
残忍♥地杀害!
Brutally murdered.
我很好奇 他的生活是怎样的
I wonder what his life was like.
我想 我们永远不会知道
I guess we’ll never know.
那我们呢?
Or will we?
也不会
Nope.
他们不知道 但你会知道
They won’t know. But you will.
你是幸运的
Lucky you.
2000年 1月1日 凌晨1点01分
噢 嘿 普诺奇先生
Oh, hey, Mr. Panucci.
我从快递公♥司♥回低温实验室了
I’m back from that delivery to the cryogenic lab.
我已经在《大娱乐》杂♥志♥上了解到了
I know. I read about it in Big Whoop magazine.
我女友把我甩了 我能租楼上的储藏室吗?
So my girlfriend kicked me out. Can I rent the upstairs storage room?
楼上的储藏室?
The upstairs storage?
我喜欢你 孩子
I like you, kid.
你乱糟糟的生活让我自我感觉良好
Your lousy life makes me feel good about myself.
房♥间就交给你了
The room’s yours.
拿着 记得喷点老鼠药
Here, take some rat spray for the meatball hamper.
好运 兄弟 你能回来真是太好了
Happy day, man. Good to have you back.
确实但是 那群骗子马上再会嗅到时间代码
Indeed, but the scammers will soon sprunje the code again.
我们必须立刻消掉纹身 会把痛苦降到最低程度的
We must remove the time tattoo at once, and as painlessly as possible.
快!他们来了!
Hurry! They’re coming!
好了 消除完毕
There, the code is gone.
我救了时空的连续性 节省了你40%的直肠
I saved the space-time continuum and 40% of your rectum.
是的!这就是你要的
Yeah! That’s all you need.
噢 我来找时间代码
Oh, I sprunje code.
你们太迟了 裸儿 我已经把弗莱的屁♥股♥弄干净了
Too late, Nudar.I’ve wiped Fry’s butt clean.
我们会亲自验证的
We’ll see about that.
没有 老板 我们把他屁♥股♥里面和外面都闻过了
Nothing, boss.We sprunjed his ass inside and out.
我们只发现了 看上去像6的发型
The only information we found was a hair shaped like the number six.
把它给我!
Give me that!
那是9 好吧 让他走吧 我认为时间代码确实没有了
Nine. All right, let him go. I guess the time code really is gone.
感谢上帝!
Thank God.
还在的话会发出臭味
The present may stink,
至少我们现在可以憧憬美好的昨天
but at least now we can look forward to a better yesterday.
对不起莉拉 我不能一直生活在过去
I’m sorry, Leela, but I can’t keep living in the past.
我得面对未来的生活
By which I mean the future.
我将永远爱你
I’ll always love you,
我会继续生活 找到生活意义
but I’ve got to move on and find my life’s purpose.
最后 搞怪猴终于找到了朋友
And that’s how Bungles the monkey finally found a friend.
我想念莫尔波
I miss Morbo.
最后的新闻 今晚 濒临灭绝的可爱的动物们的新闻
And finally, tonight on The Late Cute Animal News,
会讲述扣人心弦的故事
a story that will really tug your heartstrings
甚至比只会虐待玩具娃娃的搞怪猴的故事更令人动心
way more than Bungles, the doll-raping monkey.
是关于孤独的莉鲁的故事 独角鲸孤儿
It’s the tale of lonely Leelu, the little orphan narwhal.
莉鲁是一只稀有的锯齿状母独角鲸
Leelu is a rare toothed, female narwhal
它在水中迷失了方向 被冲到了大西洋城的海岸
who got disoriented and washed up in Atlantic City,
就像我们一样会迷路
as we all do from time to time.
由于没有母亲在身旁 她拒绝饮食
But without a mother, she’s lost the will to eat.
来啊 吃一点吧
Come on, take a sip.
我知道怎么喂动物 也许这就是我生活的意义
I know how to make things eat. Maybe this is my purpose in life.
嗨 我想应聘饲养莉鲁
Hi, I’d like to apply for a job working with Leelu.
第一个问题
Question number one.
你有和海洋生物打交道的经验吗?
Do you have any experience working with marine mammals?
没有 不过我认为他们非常优雅 你的答案回答了第二个问题
No, but I think they’re pretty neat. That answers question number two.
第三个问题
Question number three.
你知道门在哪? 你介意被踢出去吗?
Do you know where the door is, or do you prefer to be kicked out?
我不知道 我想开除的话…
I don’t know. I guess kicked out.
你好 女孩
Hiya, girl!
我叫弗莱 我觉得你是个美人
My name’s Fry, and I think you’re a cutie,
因为我喜欢单独的
’cause I like things that have only one thing
而不是成双的东西
instead of two things.
整条鲭鱼!她吃掉了整条鲭鱼!
Holy mackerel! She’s eating whole mackerel.
我不知道你有什么秘诀 如果你不介意薪水很低的话
I don’t know what your secret is, but if you’ll work for minimum wage,
明天就可以开始工作了
you can start tomorrow.
如果我要更少的薪水 能不能今天就开始工作?
If I work for less than minimum, can I start today?
有什么不可以
I don’t see why not.
商业新闻 地球上的弱势且易受骗居民
In business news, the weak and gullible inhabitants of Earth
陷入了经济衰退时期
were plunged into economic depression today
因为 那群骗子外星人 不再偷取任何有价值的东西
as the scammer aliens finished stealing every item of value,