心之全蚀

No.
谢谢
Thanks.
你回来就永远不走了么
Are you back for good?
永远我不知道
For good? I don’t know.
再说吧
For better or worse.
田里有事要做
Because there’s work to be done in the fields.
我这里也有事要做
There’s work to be done here.
我以为你在巴黎混出名堂了
I thought you were getting on well in Paris.
本来就是 但最近魏尔伦的老婆开始找麻烦
I was. But Verlaine’s wife started to make trouble.
什么麻烦
What kind of trouble?
她扬言要离婚
Threatening a divorce, you know…
她认为我跟维尔伦呆在一起的时间太长
she thought we were spending too much time together.
娇生惯养的富家女 是吧
Spoiled rich girl, I suppose.
没错
That’s right.
你在做的事…
This work you’re doing…
有前途么
is it the kind of thing that will lead to anything?
我不知道
I don’t know.
但这是我要做的事
Nevertheless, it’s the kind of work I do.
我想巴黎没这么刺♥激♥吧
I don’t suppose Paris ever gets as exciting as this.
你看起来就像他妈的圣女
You look like a fucking saint.
就差个光环了
Except you haven’t got your halo.
我来给你个光环
I’ll give you your halo.
他回来了 是吗
He’s back, isn’t he?
我现在不能离开她
I can’t leave Mathilde at the moment.
她身体不好
She’s not very well.
这到不奇怪 谁让你老是放火烧她
I’m not surprised if you keep setting fire to her
星期四后我就没再烧过她
I haven’t set fire to her since Thursday.
这不怎么好笑
No, it’s not very funny.
不是可笑 是可悲
No, it’s pathetic.
你的怪异暴行不是一般地让人恶心
Your acts of violence are always curiously disgusting.
什么意思
What do you mean?
一点都不干脆
They’re not clean.
你老是醉得恍恍惚惚的
You’re always in some sort of a drunken stupor.
事后就开始道歉乞怜
Then you start apologizing and groveling.
我不喜欢伤害人
I don’t like hurting people.
那就别做
Then don’t.
你要是做 就痛快点
But if you do, do it coolly.
别用道歉来侮辱受害者
Don’t insult your victims by feeling sorry afterwards.
我爱她 你是知道的
I love her, you see.
不可能
You can’t possibly.
我爱她的肉体
I love her body.
-肉体有的是 -不
-There are other bodies. -No.
不
No.
我爱玛蒂德的肉体
I love Mathilde’s body.
不爱她的灵魂
But not her soul?
我认为爱肉体比
I think it’s less important to love the soul
爱灵魂更重要
than to love the body.
毕竟灵魂可能是永存的
After all, the soul may be immortal.
我们有的是时间去爱
We have plenty of time for the soul…
但肉体会腐烂
but flesh rots.
正是我对肉体的爱使我保持了忠诚
It’s my love of flesh which keeps me faithful.
忠诚
Faithful?
什么意思
What do you mean?
我忠于所有的爱人
I’m faithful to all my lovers…
因为只要我曾经爱过他们
because once I love them,
我就会永远爱他们
I will always love them.
不管我是在夜间
And when I’m alone in the evening…
或是在茫茫清晨时独处
or in the early morning
我会闭上眼睛
I close my eyes
赞颂他们每一个人
and I celebrate them all.
那不是忠贞 是怀旧
That’s not faithfulness. That’s nostalgia.
你要是不想离开玛蒂尔德
If you don’t want to leave Mathilde,
也不是因为忠诚 而是因为你的软弱
it’s not because you’re faithful, it’s because you’re weak.
不 若强壮包括野蛮
If strength involves brutality,
我宁愿选择软弱
I prefer to be weak.
你的话 软弱也同样带着野蛮 不是么
With you, weakness involves brutality as well. Doesn’t it?
别指望我忠于你
Don’t expect me to be faithful to you.
你干嘛对我这么苛刻
Why are you so harsh with me?
因为你贱
Because you need it.
你知道
Isn’t it enough for you to know…
我从没像爱你一样爱过别人
that I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone
我会永远爱你 难道还不够吗
and that I’ll always love you?
闭嘴 你这醉鬼
Shut up, you sniveling drunk.
-跟我说你爱我 -哦 天
-Tell me that you love me. -Oh, For God’s sake…
求求你
Please.
求你了 这对我很重要
Please. It’s important.
你说呀
Just say it.
你知道我很喜欢你
You know I’m very fond of you.
-你爱我吗 -什么
-Do you love me? -What?
-你爱我吗 -爱
-Do you love me? -Yes.
那你就把手放桌上
Then put your hands on the table.
什么
What?
把手放到桌上
Put your hand on the table.
手心朝上
Palm upwards.
唯一不能忍♥受的 就是没什么是不能忍♥受的
The only unbearable thing is that nothing is unbearable.
向前
On…
向前
On…
我们必须离开
We have to leave.
我不知道
I…I don’t know.
时候到了
Yes. It’s time.
去年离家出走的时候
The happiest days of my life was last year
是我一生中最快乐的时光
when I ran away from home.
没有目的地 就那么继续往前走着
I didn’t know where I was going, I just carried on.
我从没有过那么快乐的日子
I’ve never seen such long and colored days…
只是我永远都走得不够远
and I could never get far enough.
我还从没见过海
I’ve never seen the sea.
我想去非洲
I wanted to walk to Africa…
穿越沙漠
and cross the desert.
我想要太阳
I wanted the sun.
我想要太阳
I wanted the sun.
我想要太阳
I want the sun.
你明白吗 我要太阳
Do you understand me? I want the sun!
你想去哪里
Where do you want to go?
我不知道
I don’t know.
我不管 只要离开就行
I don’t care. Just away.
我现在不能离开玛蒂德
You know very well I can’t leave Mathilde right now.
她身体不好
She’s not very well.
那就不要
Then don’t.
什么
What?
不要离开她
Don’t leave her.
等一下
Wait! Wait! Wait!
敬生命
To life.
来
Come on!
比利时 布鲁塞尔
保罗
Paul.
你还记得那些快乐的时光么
Do you remember happier times?
你为何要离开我们
Why did you leave us?
有风声说由于在巴黎公社期间
I had a tip-off I was going
我在宣传部门工作过
to arrested for my work…
所以要遭到逮捕
in the propaganda press during the Commune.
但那是一年多以前的事了
But that was over a year ago.
警方也许效率差
Well… the police may be slow…
但总归还是行动派
but they’re methodical.
我可不能忍♥受进监狱
I couldn’t bear to go to jail.
所以我觉得最好还是
I think it’s best if I stay out of the country
在国外呆几个月
for a few months.
与蓝波吗
With Rimbaud?
呃
Well…
想必警方也想抓他
I suppose he’s wanted by the police as well.
不
No…
你为何宁可要他
Why do you prefer him to me?