丧尸乐园（2009）

-没人听我的 -你又没说出来
– No one listens to me. – Hello, inside voices. Okay?
看看有没有的什么再说
At least until we know we’re alone.
塔拉哈西 维琪塔去那边
Hey, Tallahassee, Wichita, why don’t you take that way.
小石头 过来
Little rock, come here.
我为什么跟她一起
Why do I get stuck with her?
就像走不到头一样
It doesn’t seem to end.
过来
Hey, come here.
他有个家庭影院
He has his own movie theater?
我来跟你讲讲比尔·莫雷的故事
Okay, I’m gonna teach you a little something about Bill Murray.
这就像龙床一般
A king slept right here.
这床归我了
Dibs on the bed.
反正我睡也嫌太软了
Too soft for me, anyway.
真是太棒了
Oh, this is so exciting.
你马上就知道他是谁了
You’re about to learn who you gonna call.
《捉鬼敢死队》
It’s Ghostbusters.
这曲子倒挺朗朗上口的
This is pretty catchy.
来啊
Come on.
伺候大爷脱鞋 快点
Help me with the boots. Come on.
伺候大爷脱鞋
Help me with the boots.
好吧 我自己来
Okay. I’ll get them myself.
该死
Shit.
比尔·莫雷 你是个僵尸
Bill Murray, you’re a zombie?
疼死我了
Oh! I’m on fire! Ouch!
你不是僵尸 你还说话呢
You’re not a zombie, you’re talking, and–
-你没事吧 -我好着呢
– You’re okay? – The hell I am!
对不起 我不知道你真是那个”你”
I’m sorry. I didn’t know that it was “you” you.
你 你怎么这打扮
Are you–? What’s with the get-up?
我这是为了混进僵尸群
Oh, I do it to blend in. You know.
他们从不互相残杀
Zombies don’t mess with other zombies.
我一个搞化妆的哥们教我弄成这样
Buddy of mine, makeup guy, showed me how to do this.
玉米糊 再加点浆果和女用甘草精
Cornstarch. You know, some berries, a little licorice for the ladies.
和我的风格很配 我平时就出门转转
Suits my lifestyle, you know. I like to get out and do stuff.
在海滨打高尔夫
Just played Nine Holes on the riviera.
随便逛 连人影都没有
Just walked on. Nobody there.
我的天 这是他妈的比尔·莫雷啊
Goddamn it, Bill fucking Murray!
我得发泄一下 我不想这么激动
I had to get that out. I don’t mean to gush.
真不可思议 您或许经常遇到这种情况
This is so surreal. I mean, you probably get this all the time.
最近可能少了 我可是您的超级粉丝
Maybe not lately, but l’m — I’m such a huge fan of yours.
我发誓
I mean, I swear, you know,
您的每部电影我都看了成千上万遍
I have seen every one of your movies a million times.
我也喜欢您在戏剧中的角色和所有表演
I even love your dramatic roles and just everything.
这世上只剩六个人
Six people left in the world,
其中一个竟是他妈的比尔·莫雷
one of them is Bill fucking Murray!
我不是骂你
I know that’s not your middle name.
自从我
I been watching you since I was like..
从我会”打飞机”的时候就看您的电影了
Since I could masturbate.
当然这两者没联♥系♥
I mean, not that they’re connected.
“一个前高尔夫球场管♥理♥员♥就要”
“a former greenskeeper about to ”
“成为大♥师♥赛冠军了”
“become the Masters Champion.”
感谢你的支持
Well, that’s why we do it.
我爱你 比尔 我爱你
I love you, Bill. I love you.
谢谢你
I thank you.
应该感谢你
Thank you.
你一直盯着我 这是个假发
You are staring at me. It’s a hairpiece.
对不起
I’m sorry.
只不过您太像艾迪·凡·海伦了
No, it was just that you look remarkably like Eddie Van Halen.
我刚还看见艾迪·凡·海伦了
I just saw Eddie Van Halen.
-不会吧 -真的
– Really? – Yeah.
哪儿
Where?
-在好莱坞露天剧场 -他情况如何
– At the Hollywood Bowl. – How was that?
已经是个僵尸了
He’s a zombie.
真不幸
Aw. That’s a tough break.
来点西海岸式的款待如何
So, uh, how about a little west coast hospitality?
有什么我能效劳的吗
Can I– wha– can I get you something?
你们想要点什么
What would you– what would you like?
很带劲吧
Smooth, isn’t it?
快来 快来 他在天花板上
Oh, hurry. Hurry, he’s on the ceiling.
快去抓他 注意吊灯 烤焦他 雷
Come get him. Avoid the chandelier. Light him up, Ray.
-到对面去 皮特 -真恶心
– See you on the other side, Pete. – Oh, he’s so disgusting.
看着像粘液怪 别碰激光束
Looks like slimer. Don’t cross the streams!
-我不想碰 -他完蛋了
-Ah! I don’t wanna cross – Oh, no, he’s awful.
别碰激光束
Don’t cross the streams!
35英尺长 约600磅重
Thirty-five feet long, weighing approximately 600 pounds.
真是个大块的夹心蛋糕
That’s a big twinkie.
你姐姐还是单身 是吧
Your sister is, uh, single, right?
没有异地恋之类的吧
There’s nothing long distance or anything?
-没有 -很好
– No. – Oh, good, good.
她过去喜欢的类型
And if she had, like, a type, you know,
如果有的话 是什么样的
If you can have a type, what would that be, you think?
她有点喜欢坏小子那种
She kind of goes for, like, bad boys.
-是吗 -是的
– Really? – Yeah.
真不错
That’s cool.
你
What?
不小心的
Oh, whoops.
-哥伦布很胆小 -他胆小的像兔子
– So Columbus is the scared one? – Yeah. He’s like a little bunny.
我去吓吓他
I’ll get him.
看好了
Watch this.
不
No.
没事了 没事了
No, no, it’s okay, it’s okay.
搞定了
I got him.
你那里的人都这么打招呼吗
Is that how you say hello where you come from?
天哪
Oh, my god.
天哪 我竟然打死了比尔·莫雷
Oh, my god, I can’t believe I shot Bill Murray.
-莫雷先生 -现在就叫我比尔就行了
– Mr. Murray? – I’m just Bill, I think, now.
-比尔 -什么事
– Bill? – Yeah?
这伤口估计是缝不上了
I don’t think we’re gonna be able to stitch this.
还是疼啊
Ahh. That’s still tender.
你能挺过去吗
You think you might pull through?
不行了
No.
如果道歉还有用 对不起
If it means anything now, I am so sorry.
我只是本能反应
It was just instinctive.
都怪我
It was my bad.
我从来就不擅长恶作剧
I was never a very good practical joker.
你有未了的心愿吗
So do you have any regrets?
估计是给加菲猫配音吧
Garfield, maybe.
对不起 他逗笑我了
I’m sorry, he just gets me.
-但还是很伤感 -是啊
– But it still is sad. – Yeah.
-好了 -该死
– Okay. – Oh, shit.
好了
Okay. Okay.
好了 该死
Okay. Shit. Okay.
抱歉 稍等
Sorry. One second.
这是双管枪 抱歉
It’s a double-barrel. Sorry.
好了
Okay.
三 二 一
Three, two, one.
-来点消毒液吗 -好
– You guys want some purell? – Yes.
-谢了 -好
– Please. – Yeah.
好耶
Yes.
-免费停车 -没错
– Oh, free parking. – Yeah.
这正巧是僵尸之地最大的好处
Which, coincidentally, is the best thing about Zombieland.
不对 最大的好处是没人再更新非死不可了
No, best thing about Z-land, no Facebook status updates.
比如”罗伯·科迪斯准备好迎接周五了”
You know, “Rob Curtis is gearing up for Friday.”
谁在乎
Who cares?
最大的好处是不用冲厕所 爽
The best thing is no more flushing.Epic.
那最糟糕的事呢
And the worst thing about Z-land?
除了我枪杀比尔·莫雷
You mean, other than the fact that I shot Bill Murray?
很简单 是我失去了巴克
That’s easy. losing Buck.
那是他的小狗
That’s his puppy.
我跟你们说 我觉得我从没像爱巴克那样爱谁
I’m gonna tell you, I never thought I could love anything like Buck.
他… 从他出生开始 我就为他疯狂
He was just– the day he was born, I just lost my mind.
抱歉
Sorry.