爱与其他不可能的追求（2009）

l don’t hate William.
当你看着他时 你应该看到你的脸
You should see your face when you look at him.
你很冷漠 艾米莉娅
You’re cold, Emilia.
冷漠
Cold.
他还是个孩子 他需要得到保护
He’s a child. He needs to be protected.
也许我们都搞砸了 也许我做的比你更糟
And maybe we both fucked that up. Maybe l did more than you.
是的 让他靠近我 对吧
Yeah, by letting him near me, right?
噢 得了吧
Oh, come on.
说你的真正意思 杰克 这是关于伊莎贝尔的
Just say what you really mean, Jack.This is about lsabel.
这和伊莎贝尔无关
This is not about lsabel!
不是所有的事都他妈和伊莎贝尔有关
Not everything in the fucking world is about lsabel.
她也是我的女儿
She was my daughter too.
失去她也伤透了我的心
Losing her broke my heart too!
失去她吗
Losing her?
我们没有失去她 杰克
We didn’t lose her, Jack.
是我杀了她
l killed her.
你在说什么
What are you talking about?
还记得吗 你叫我把她放在摇篮里
Remember? You told me to put her in the bassinet?
我说等她吃完奶我会的
And l said l would when she finished.
然后你睡着了 我太累了
And then you fell asleep, and l was so tired.
但她终于开始吸奶了 所以她很好
But she had finally started feeding, so she was fine.
后来我又睡着了
l fell asleep again.
然后有什么声音把我吵醒了
Then something woke me up.
而她走了
And she was gone.
伊莎贝儿
lsabel.
伊莎贝儿
lsabel!
杰克 杰克 杰克 杰克
Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack!
她不是 她已经没有了呼吸
She’s not… she’s not breathing!
她没有呼吸了 她没有呼吸了
She’s not breathing! She’s not breathing!
伊莎贝儿
lsabel.
我们该怎么办 – 拨♥打♥911
What do we do? – Call 91 1 .
我们该怎么办 我告诉你 我告诉警♥察♥ 我发现她在摇篮里 但是
What do we do? l told you and l told the police that l found her in the bassinet, but…
我撒了谎
l lied.
她在我怀里睡着了
She fell asleep in my arms.
我抱着她的头
l had her head in my hands
她的脸紧贴着我
and her face pressed against me.
我 我睡着了
l…l fell asleep.
不
No.
你没有让她窒息
You did not smother her.
是我做的 杰克
l did, Jack.
你知道是我做的
You know l did.
你知道她不在摇篮里 是吗
You knew she wasn’t in the bassinet, didn’t you?
不 验尸报告说她死于自然原因
No, the autopsy report said that she died of natural causes.
据说她死于睡眠呼吸暂停综合症
lt said that she died of SlDS.
不 验尸官说她停止了呼吸
No, the medical examiner said she stopped breathing.
她停止呼吸的原因是因为她不能呼吸了
And the reason she stopped breathing was ’cause she couldn’t.
不 你 你没有 她没有被挤压
No, you… you didn’t… she wasn’t crushed.
验尸报告明确指出她不是被挤压
The autopsy report said specifically that she wasn’t crushed.
我没有挤压她 杰克 我把她闷死了
l didn’t crush her, Jack. l smothered her.
你是个律师 杰克 劝我别这么做
You’re a lawyer, Jack. Argue me out of it.
这不仅仅是你
lt’s not just you.
我也不能再这样了
l can’t do this anymore either.
我明白了
l got it.
你没事吧
Are you okay?
生 活
分 居
和
离婚后的
你看起来好像看见鬼了
You looked like you saw a ghost back there.
只是 你从来不在这里 这就是全部
lt’s just, you’re never up here. That’s all.
哦 我在等威廉
Oh, l was waiting for Will.
我们计划在公园里一起参与那部电影
We made plans to be in that movie together in the park.
他怎么样
How is he?
他没有出现 我猜他妈妈说不
He didn’t show. l guess his mother said no.
杰克告诉我你离开家了
Jack told me you left home.
你打算回去吗
You plan on going back?
我觉得我不适合那个家庭
l don’t think l’m really very good for that family.
听着 我不是一个好丈夫 但我不是一个坏人
Look, l was not a very good husband. But l am not a bad person.
我当时不这么认为
l didn’t think that at the time.
我想 我不适合在这里
l thought, ”l’m not fit to be here.”
所以你妈妈叫我走的时候我没有反对
So l didn’t fight when your mother told me to go.
我没有为她而战
l didn’t fight for her.
我也没有为你而战
l didn’t fight for you.
别犯了和我当年一样的错误
Don’t make the same mistake l made.
我的错误已经发生了 我受到了惩罚
My mistakes have happened, and l’ve been punished.
伊莎贝尔不是因为惩罚你才死的
lsabel’s not dead because you needed to be punished.
那她为什么死了
Then why is she dead?
我不知道
l don’t know.
我不知道 她停止了生活 就这样
l don’t know. She stopped living. That’s all.
这就是你想要的吗
ls that what you want?
你想停止生活吗
You want to stop living?
我想要她回来
l want her back.
那不是你的选择 亲爱的 我很抱歉
That’s not one of your choices, honey. l’m sorry.
这也是我的选择
That would be my choice too.
我很抱歉我说了那些关于你的话
l’m sorry for what l said, what l said about you.
我不知道为什么
l don’t know why.
没关系 亲爱的
lt’s okay, honey.
一切都好 是吗
lt’s all okay, huh?
喂
Hello?
哦 是啊
Oh. Yeah?
今天下午吗
This afternoon?
好
Okay.
是的 我知道办公室在哪里
Yeah, l know where the office is.
好
Okay.
格林利夫小姐
Miss Greenleaf?
杰克告诉我你搬出去了
Jack told me you moved out.
你和他谈过
You talked to him?
是的 是的
Yes, l did.
威廉看到你带着手提箱离开很不高兴
William was very upset to see you leave with your suitcase.
你不知道孩子们也有眼睛 是吗
You never understood that children have eyes, have you?
我打电♥话♥给杰克说了这件事
l called Jack to talk about it,
他告诉我萨贝尔死的那晚发生了什么
and he told me what happened the night lsabel died.
哦
Oh
他问你是否有可能用乳♥房♥♥窒息她
He asked if it was possible that you could have smothered her with your breast…
问我的医学意见
my medical opinion.
你告诉他什么了
What did you tell him?
我告诉他 是的 这是可能的
l told him, yes, it was possible.
是的 你可能无意中杀了伊莎贝尔
Yes, you could have accidentally killed lsabel.
你可能有 任何对威廉的安全漠不关心的女人
You probably had. Any woman who’s so casual with William’s safety
很容易就睡着了 窒息了自己的孩子
could just as easily have fallen asleep and smothered her own child.
威廉对我很生气 他说我应该为自己感到羞耻
William was very mad at me. He said l should be ashamed of myself.
威廉 他很忠诚
He’s very loyal, William.
他知道吗
He knows?
是的 他无意中听到了谈话 对不起 我的公♥寓♥很小
Yes, well, he overheard the conversation. l’m sorry. My apartment’s quite small.
你的公♥寓♥很大 你一定是大喊大叫
Your apartment’s huge. You must have been shouting.
他说你爱莉莎贝尔 你不可能杀了她
He said that you loved lsabel and that you couldn’t have killed her.
我告诉他我没说你杀了孩子
And l told him l hadn’t said that you’d killed the baby.
我告诉他你可能不小心把她闷死了
l told him that you might have accidentally smothered her.
卡罗琳 我为什么来这里 我真的很想离开
Carolyn, why am l here? l’d really like to leave.
威廉让我帮你
William asked me to help you.
他说因为我是医生
He said because l’m a doctor,
我能查出伊莎贝儿到底发生了什么
l could find out what really happened to lsabel.
我没意识到他很在乎
l didn’t realize he cared,
因为根据犹太法律 你知道 她不是一个人
since she wasn’t a person, you know, according to the Jewish law.
你的儿科医生得到了尸检报告的副本
Your pediatrician got a copy of the autopsy report.
我知道
l know.
嗯 昨天我让他的办公室传真给我
Well, l had his office fax it to me yesterday,
我和斯坦福大学的一个同学一起看了一遍
and l reviewed it with a classmate of mine from Stanford.
她是专门研究新生儿病例的病理学家
She’s a pathologist who specializes in neonatal cases.
她在刑事审判中作证
She testifies in criminal trials.
她证实了验尸官的结论
And she confirms the coroner’s conclusion.
我知道官方的判决 睡眠呼吸暂停综合症
l know the official verdict: SlDS.
我要求得到更具体的结论